This guy had better get hazard pay:



Then again, the PLA has so many applicants they need to turn some away anyway.

We need to import some of these patriots!

"History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives." - Abba Eban

***

A Story of the Image - "The Plantin – Moretus House - Workshops Museum Complex... [is] so highly significant that it is now one of the very few sites in Western Europe to have qualified for inclusion of the World Heritage List."
Copywriter FAIL

Lizards Rapidly Evolve After Introduction to Island - "In just a few decades the 5-inch-long (13-centimeter-long) lizards have developed a completely new gut structure, larger heads, and a harder bite... the lizards developed cecal valves—muscles between the large and small intestine—that slowed down food digestion in fermenting chambers, which allowed their bodies to process the vegetation's cellulose into volatile fatty acids... Such physical transformation in just 30 lizard generations takes evolution to a whole new level, Irschick said. It would be akin to humans evolving and growing a new appendix in several hundred years, he said. "That's unparalleled. What's most important is how fast this is," he said."

Cashiers Allegedly Forced to Wear Diapers - "Supermarket cashiers in Argentina are being forced to wear diapers to keep them from taking toilet breaks at work, a union says... "The truth is, it's difficult to imagine a line of 20 adult cashiers wearing diapers for eight hours," said Varela, who is investigating the matter. "In 17 years as a labor lawyer, I've never heard anything like this before," she added."

Emails aid sub-prime detective - "At the credit-rating agencies that did so much to prop up the sub-prime industry, someone seemed to have a clear sense of what was coming. 'Let’s hope we’re all wealthy and retired by the time this house of cards falters,' an analyst wrote in a candid e-mail to a colleague."

Unusual new enclosure revealed at Bristol Zoo - "Zoo visitors and staff have been surprised by the addition of a new and unexpected enclosure at Bristol Zoo Gardens. A mysterious sign has appeared on the side of the Zoo’s popular Coral Café, designating the area as a place to spot one of the world’s most widespread species - Homo sapiens. The notice, which appeared without warning this week, shows humans ‘on display’ inside the café and includes tongue-in-cheek description of the species and its characteristics... Dr Jo Gipps, Director of Bristol Zoo Gardens, said: “This is definitely not one of the Zoo’s own signs, it is clearly a prank and a very good one too. It looks completely genuine. We think it’s great sign and we have absolutely no intention of removing it, however I think one of them is probably enough""
Of course, it would be removed in less civilised countries.

YouTube - "Does God exist?" -- Social campaign on education (TV commerc - "New Moment New Ideas Company TV commercial for the Government of the Republic of Macedonia, Ministry of Education and Science... Headline of commercial: Religion is knowledge, too. Bringing religion back to school. Headline of campaign: Knowledge is power."
This is the latest incarnation of some old Christian nonsense. The multiple philosophical problems are one thing, but the thing that really pisses me off is that they are painting Einstein as a defender of religion by putting words into his mouth.

Schoolgirl 'wanted to lose virginity before Large Hadron Collider caused end of world'

Biliteracy in Singapore: A Survey of the Written Proficiency in English and Chinese of Secondary School Pupils - "The aim of this study is to explore the extent to which the SAP school pupils learning two first languages are symmetrically bilingual in writing... Chinese played an important role in daily communication. Those who conversed in Chinese with their friends comprised 72.9%, and those who used English constituted a smaller number (25.4%)... the majority (47.5%) of the pupils preferred to watch television in Chinese... While 69.2% of the pupils read in English, only 6.7% read in Chinese... the subjects had displayed significantly higher written proficiency in English than in Chinese... As expected, our subjects had great difficulty in writing the Chinese script... A main feature of the writing system in Chinese is that it is a script which, unlike an alphabet, does not register sounds but in one way or another indicates some elements of meanings... With such a characteristic of the writing system, it is only natural that when a character is lost in memory, another one which represents the same syllable (and usually the same tone) will be substituted by the language learner. Moreover, he/she is inevitably prone to make mistakes when a syllable associates with two or more characters which share the same tone and at the same time resemble each other in script"

The war on drugs is immoral idiocy. We need the courage of Argentina - "Last week the Argentine supreme court declared in a landmark ruling that it was "unconstitutional" to prosecute citizens for having drugs for their personal use. It asserted in ringing terms that "adults should be free to make lifestyle decisions without the intervention of the state"... The doctrine is adumbrated by a regime only 25 years from dictatorship... Three years ago, Mexico concluded that prison for drug possession merely criminalised a large slice of its population. Drug users should be regarded as "patients, not criminals"... America spends a reported $70bn a year on suppressing drug imports, and untold billions on prosecuting its own citizens for drugs offences... this week's "good news" [was] that the 2009 Afghan poppy harvest had fallen back to its 2005 level... depriving Afghan peasants of their most lucrative cash crop somehow wins their hearts and minds and impoverishes the Taliban. The Afghan poppy crop is largely a function of the price of poppies compared with that of wheat... the war on drugs can be seen only as a total failure, a vast self-imposed cost on western society. It is the greatest sweeping-under-the-carpet of our age"
Surprisingly, a watered-down version of this was in Today

Time to silence phones, game consoles and headsets on trains - "The bigger audio headsets often give off loud noises and these should be banned... This problem is getting worse because the culprits have been getting away with it. It is time the SMRT takes strong action to stop this nuisance. The culprits should be fined because, as in case of eating and drinking, warning them is not good enough."
Doesn't this belong in the Straits Times Forum?

Confucians say, women now welcome - "For the first time in more than 2,500 years the family tree of the ancient Chinese philosopher, Confucius, is to include women descendants."

"Truth is more of a stranger than fiction." - Mark Twain

***

Quangos ban traditional phrases like 'whiter than white' and 'gentlemen's agreement'

"Documents released under freedom of information rules show that the Northern Ireland Human Rights Commission advised staff to replace the phrase “black day” with “miserable day”.

Its explanation was that the term carries a “hierarchical valuation of skin colour”.

The commission also urges employees to be careful of the term “ethnic minority” because it can imply “something smaller and less important”.

The National Gallery is concerned some terms its staff use could discriminate against women.

It suggests they should replace the term "gentlemen's agreement" with "unwritten agreement" or "agreement based on trust" while "right-hand man" should become "second in command".

The Learning Skills Council is also mindful of "gender bias" in some language used by its workers and has asked them to "perfect" their brief, rather than "master" it.

Advice issued by the South West Regional Development Agency states: “Terms such as ‘black sheep of the family’, ‘black looks’ and ‘black mark’ have no direct link to skin colour but potentially serve to reinforce a negative view of all things black. Equally, certain terms imply a negative image of ‘black’ by reinforcing the positive aspects of white.

“For example, in the context of being above suspicion, the phrase ‘whiter than white’ is often used. Purer than pure or cleaner than clean are alternatives which do not infer that anything other than white should be regarded with suspicion.”

Marie Clair, spokeswoman for the Plain English Campaign, believes the quangos should take a more "common sense" approach rather than issuing a blanket ban on traditional phrases.

“Political correctness has good intentions but things can be taken to an extreme," she told the Sunday Times."

The Girl Paradox (from GraphJam):



"Hot Girl
Smart Girl
Nice Girl"


Eric's answer to it:



"Smart
Rich
Funny"

"It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating." - Oscar Wilde

***

From May:


"ASEAN-Republic of Korea Commemorative Summit. Partnership for Real, Friendship for Good"
What is probably a translation issue makes it sound like they're really on very bad terms.


"T[ender] r[aw] a[musing] n[aughty] n[ostalgic] y[es, ah kua show!]... Ah Kua Show... 10% discount for transgender audience"
Maybe I should've tried my luck. Presumably this would be called bigotry if it wasn't by a real Ah Kua (and thus qualify as "reclamation")


Cat in drain


Chinese wine in faux gourd


"If your dog poops please scoop. Action will be taken if caught (sic)"
I love how they have to mention "if caught"


"Happy [Dead] Crab. Freshness Guaranteed"


"Look, Ma. No pants!"


"Mahjulah Singapura" crest. I can't remember where this was.


"Hokkaido milk is... almost organic"
Almost don't cut it, kids!


Apparently you can exchange cooked food bought at the food court in Liang Court's basement... within 7 days.


NYDC: "Our meatballs now contain pork for extra flavour!"


This cartoon depiction of upskirting was in my French textbook. I assume this was illustrating: "Je fais des photos pour un journal". Le journal sexe?


National Museum signage FAIL


Pigeon drinking from a container


"Positive Result? Keep the Test!
Result remains positive over time.
One click and handle comes off for compact storage.
Conveniently keep it in your baby's album or show it to your doctor or loved ones at a later time."
This is quite screwed up.


This was sold in the shop which sells notebooks in Citylink. You can get the same for free from any office shredder.


"Bad News: Our lease has ended
Good News: We are still in the neighbourhood"


A rare sight: a woman in office attire sitting on the MRT floor (previously I'd only seen schoolgirls doing this)


"Increases calmth (sic), stamina, flexibility, balance & poise. Helps manage PMS, menstrual cramps, backache, water retention, stress.
Beauty blossoms from within. I am calm and filled with peace. I nurture me (sic) and my family. I look & feel beautful & I AM empowered and peaceful"
Yoga mumbo-jumbo to con women. I'll take my chances with Acai Berries, thanks.



"Japanese Daily. Air Flown Weekly Fresh from Japan"

And on the shelves:


"Back Bacon. Product of Denmark; Smoked Spicy Pork Sausage... Manufactured by Pan Pacific Singapore"


Alleged health benefits of Karaoke:


"唱卡拉OK可养生。
增强胸，肺，腹功能。防止声线老化
- 消除疲劳，增强脑力记忆，增加喉咙声亮。
- 唱前别紧张，唱时放松，并暂时忘掉工作的压力"

Translation:

"Singing Karaoke keeps you healthy. It strengthens the function of your chest, lungs and stomach, and prevents your vocal chords from atrophying.

It dissipates stress, boosts brain power and memory and makes your voice sound brighter.

Before you sing, don't be nervous. When you sing, relax and temporarily forget your work stress"

Right.

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." - H. P. Lovecraft

***

YouTube - Solid Potato Salad - The Ross Sisters (1944) - "Never underestimate a woman who can get both legs behind her head and wrap her feet around her face. (HINT: Watch past the first 45 seconds or so. Whoah!)... In this classic footage from the movie "Broadway Rhythm" (1944), the Ross sisters, Aggie, Maggie and Elmira, sing and move in ways that don't look humanly possible. Yoga anyone?"

Row as Canada gives asylum to white South African - "Asylum seeker Brandon Huntley claimed he had been persecuted, abused and repeatedly stabbed. But it was the reason he gave for his ordeal that caused a diplomatic rift today. Huntley is South African – and white. Canada's decision to grant him refugee status because of his colour prompted accusations of racism from the South African government... Some South African whites say they have become a persecuted minority... He said he had been attacked seven times by black South Africans, including four stabbings, and was called a "white dog" and "settler"... the irrigation sprinkler salesman's evidence showed "a picture of indifference and inability or unwillingness" from the South African government to protect white citizens. He added: "Persecution of white South Africans by African South Africans [is] a common event today in South Africa."... "The truth is that black South Africans are far and away more likely to be victims of violent crime. There are problems with the criminal justice system but again blacks are most likely to suffer.""
Apparently alleging racism against traditionally powerful races is racist?! And somehow suffering from crime means you are being racially discriminated against and can't be racist towards others?!

Vows - Jessica Rosen and Ron Laegner - "WHEN Jessica Rosen was 12 years old, a boyishly handsome fellow, sharply dressed in a maroon suit, arrived in the lobby of her apartment building on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. That fellow, Ron Laegner, had just been hired as the doorman... In her diary that night, she stated her intentions. “I met the man I’m going to marry,” she wrote. Few people marry their first crush. Fewer still marry their doorman... “It was almost like a nuisance,” he said, referring to Ms. Rosen’s visits. She kept asking about his girlfriend and tried to lure him out to bars. Still, he couldn’t help but notice that the girl had matured into an attractive woman: “It was like a whole new Jessica.”... When her family found out, it didn’t go over so well — but Ms. Rosen said it was the 12-year age difference, not his line of work, that was a concern... “Everyone looked at me like, ‘Are you kidding me?’ ” said Ms. Rosen, now 30. “Life is short. I waited, and I got cancer.”"
This is pretty creepy on some level - just imagine the genders and ages reversed (i.e. an older man going after a younger girl - although waiting until she's legal).

How the Buddha became a Catholic Saint - "The Sakyamuni Buddha is in fact an official Catholic saint. The story of how the Buddha became a Catholic saint is a story about an ancient Indian diaspora. Not the diaspora of a group of people but that of a collection of south-east Asian stories: the Jataka tales... The story of Barlaam and Joasaph is that of a young Indian prince, Josaphat (or Joasaph), being converted to Christianity by the arguments of Barlaam. Josaphat's story (before his conversion) is almost exactly the story of the Sakyamuni Buddha. Indeed, “Josaphat” is nothing but a Greek-formulation of “Bodhisat.”... The Catholic Encyclopedia is resolutely unembarrassed about the whole incident. As I understand it, sainthood is a human assignation, based on our understanding of what constitutes a miracle. The Vatican claims authority, not infallibility."
Ooh, seditious!

The myth of a moderate Malaysia - "Amidst the usual cries of “Allahu Akbar” and “takbeer,” the protesters deposited the freshly severed head of a cow — an animal sacred to Hindus — before the building’s gate. The group’s leaders made threatening speeches and, perhaps caught up in the spirit of the moment, hammed it up for the cameras, stepping and spitting on the cow’s head. The police — who have been known to arrest people for such crimes as attending a candle light vigil or wearing black in support of the opposition — stood by and watched... The conversion laws, based on sharia, bring to mind the Eagles’ classic “Hotel California”: You can check in (to Islam) any time you like, but you can never leave. Over the past 30 years, encouraged by the government and influenced by the Middle East, Malaysia’s growing prosperity has gone hand-in-hand with a heightened piety. But instead of making the country more humane, this has had the opposite effect... only in Muslim-majority lands are religious bigots given such broad leeway by their secular co-religionists"

YouTube - [Trailer] Robogeisha

Eating dirt can be good for you - just ask babies - "Since all instinctive behaviors have an evolutionary advantage or they would not have been retained for millions of years, chances are that this one too has helped us survive as a species. And, indeed, accumulating evidence strongly suggests that eating dirt is good for you. In studies of what is called the hygiene hypothesis, researchers are concluding that organisms like the millions of bacteria, viruses and especially worms that enter the body along with "dirt" spur the development of a healthy immune system. Several continuing studies suggest that worms may help to redirect an immune system that has gone awry and resulted in autoimmune disorders, allergies and asthma."

"There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence." - Henry Adams

***

My favourite variant of a popular joke:


The Geography of a Woman:

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Afghanistan. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically un-patrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.

After 70, they become Albania . Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man:

Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Iraq......ruled by a dick.

"Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once." - Evan Esar

***

From April, Botan (Japanese food) in Far East Square. Which besides having lots of dishes I haven't seen elsewhere on this island (selected ones are typed out), also has whale!


Interior


Relatively common dinner sets


"Chinmi: Japanese Local Delicacies... Ishikari Zuke: Marinated salmon with rice wine & onions"


"Karaka Iwashi: Sardine preserved in soy sauce and spice"


13 types of Home made tofu: "Yamaimo Kake Tofu: Fresh beancurd topped with grated yam"


5 more types of home made tofu and Ippinryori (a la carte):
"Anko Kimo. Angler liver."


"Konnyaku Steak: Yam strips with sauce on hot plate"


Sashimi.


"Takiawase: Pot cooked dish... Tai Aradaki. Red snapper head cooked with special sauce"


"Yakimono. Grilled dish... Fugumirin Boshi. Grilled marinated dry puffer fish."


"Agemono. Deep-fried dish... Nasu hasamiage. Deep fried eggplant sandwiches"


"Sunomono. Vinegar flavoured dish... Shime Saba. Mackerel with vinegar"


"Nabemono. Hot pot dish... Chazuke. Japanese porridges... Sake Chazuke. Salmon flake with rice & tea served in a bowl"


"Noodles... Inani wa udon. Akita City noodles"

I know why the whale is only in Japanese, but I don't know why they do the same for dessert.


"Yakitori... A la carte."


Sushi


Maki Sushi


Temaki. Hand roll.



Botan Bento


Nagasaki Sara Udon. Basically this was Japanese shen mian, and very good.


Whale Bacon. It was quite tasteless so I won't repeat it (I still haven't tried the sashimi and skin yet, though). Only near the end did I realise what the white stuff was!