Alternate end for WALL-E (SPOILER ALERT SCROLL DOWN)











After watching Wall-E (good dystopian family fun), it occurred to me that a much, much, MUCH more interesting ending would've been if:

-AUTO analyses the plant from EVE, concludes that they need to return to Earth to fulfil the reconlonisation directive

-the Captain of the Axiom, being a fat blob living the perfect life is revealed as the one who secretly arranged for the plant to be destroyed and wants to suppress evidence that Earth has returned to habitable condition.

-He shows the robots the global CEO's final "Stay the course" transmission and concludes humanity is too comfortable and precious out here to return to Earth and go through all the icky shit of farming, terraforming, etc

-the humans on board vocally state their preference for their current lifestyle and their robot slaves

-WALL-E, EVE, AUTO, MO and the other crazy robots, more enamoured of human splendour and potential than their putative masters, decide to seize humanity's legacy for itself since their creators and the descendants of their creators have clearly lost all right to it

-in a robo-putsch they slaughter all the human Baron Harkonnen wannabes on the Axiom, and use their carcasses as organic fertiliser for the terraforming of Earth. After all they're better adapted to harsh enviornmental conditions unlike the humans who anyway would have collapsed like pats of butter in the Kalahari as their porcelain, 700-years-of-hover-chair-supported-microgravity-ravaged skeletal structures crumble like sandcastles in a tsunami upon hitting 1G

-the end credits show a new robot society building great monuments and new technical marvels on a terraformed Earth on the bones of the failed human civilisation... ending with a pan shot of their construction of a fleet of battlecruisers from massive drydocks in Earth orbit with a Dyson sphere slowly rotating around Sol... the first step in their establishment of a GALACTIC EMPIRE THAT WILL CRUSH ALL SENTIENT ORGANIC LIFE UNDER THEIR TITANIUM ROBOTREADS ... IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR WALL-E