When you can't live without bananas

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

"Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event." - Oscar Wilde

***

People are looking at scientific and mathematical pickup lines (e.g. 'You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more', 'You're as sweet as 3.14'). There're also a few for liberal arts majors (e.g. 'My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it's only good in theory', 'Do you want to help me with my project on the tit- I'm sorry, TET Offensive?') and musicians (e.g. 'Are you a piano, or a forte?', 'I wish I was your flute...then you could press my buttons and blow me all night long').

Here are some for economists:


Economics Pick up Lines

22. Pareto dominate me, baby!
21. Your presence is one big positive externality.
20. You don’t have to prove your love, it’s just intuitive.
19. There are no diminishing returns with you.
18. I suggest you lower barriers to entry to encourage free exchange.
17. With you there is no reason to diversify my portfolio.
16. I love you, ceteris paribus.
15. Nothing can separate the two of us–well, nothing but a hyperplane.
14. Being your prisoner is no dilemma.
13. Tell me what I have to assume to be able to identify your phone number.
12. Whoa, you’re the most robust structural model I’ve seen in a while.
11. I’m not indifferent towards those curves!
10. My interest in you has compounded continuously.
9. When I’m with you I experience hyperinflation.
8. I love it when you whisper sweet equations in my ear.
7. Wow! You have one nice asymptotic distribution!
6. You’re deriving me crazy.
5. You enjoy monopoly power over my heart.
4. Is that a discontinuity I see or are you just mighty kinky?
3. You are unique…well, at least locally.
2. My utility is strictly increasing in you.
1. I’ll be capital, you be labor–you know the rest.


* I couldn't help but notice your monetary base. Do you let a guy get to M3 on a first date?
* You have a boyfriend? That's ok. The wife and I are into credit-swapping.
* I'm not like other guys. I'd never withdraw my deposits without at least offering a wraparound.
* Baby, that booty is a moral hazard!
* When it comes to you, my demand curve slopes upward.
* Do you have a job? Because I thought maybe we could enjoy some frictional unemployment together.
* I know there are competitive bidders, but ask any of the girls here, and they'll tell you my tongue has absolute advantage.
* Are you a Keynesian? Because you sure make my monetary policy inflate.
* You've got the loveliest supply curves I've ever seen.
* I know it's a Saturday, but do you think you'd be open for some direct deposits later?
* I think you and me would have great potential output.
* So, what kinds of permissable nonbank activites are you into?
* If you want to invite your friend, perhaps we could explore multilateralism.
* C'mon, it's getting late, and we both know I'm your lender of last resort.
* Let's blow this popsicle stand and see what happens when we let our indifference curves intersect.


Facebook | It's time you experienced my positive externalities...

"I'll maximize your utility.

What do you say we expand our production possibility curves?

What do you say I eliminate some dead weight loss and add to your consumer surplus.

I don't know about you, but it's all about macro where I come from.

Your subsidy, our social benefit!

Do you work for the Fed, cause your raising my reserves.

You're like the village commons...*sigh* what a tragedy!

You won't find any elasticity with my demand, cause there are no substitutes.

I see ourselves in ten minutes engaging in a series of mutually offsetting investments in performance enhancement stimulated by a positional externality...sounds like a position arms race to me.

It's OK baby...I'm a price taker.

Porkbellies rising!

You've been spending too much time with the invisible hand...time for some external intervention.

You can price discriminate against me!

I'm a pure public good...you can free-ride on me any time you want.

My unit is elastic...what you give is what you get.

We're like a capital market...your investment equals my interest.

Let's strip your rust belt and see how our economy develops from there!

We're like monopolistic competition...all we care about is the short run.

There's no deflation where I come from...not when you're playing with my ratchet!

Our society is underproducing...but I'm sure if we hooked up we'd achieve an efficient allocation of resources.

I'd like you to OPEC my energy markets.

My fiscal policy is all about contributing to your private sector.

Are you in TANF? (Temporary Assistance for Needy Fannies)

Your industry shows promise...time for my firm to break the barrier of entry."
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