Quotes:

[In a Middle Eastern restaurant] I brought cards. [Me: Gambling is...] [Student 2: Haram]

This is a guy who, when I went to a poetry reading with him, he started moaning... 'Mmm'... What the fuck. (started)

I keep forgetting that you're from NUS... you look like you're from an overseas university.

It's such a guy thing. Useless trivia. It impresses the girls.

Do you know about airplanes and aircraft? I assume you do. You're like a walking encyclopedia.

[On Muslim eating] I don't care, as long as there's no pork. And if there is, don't tell me.

A lot of male toilets have no urinals... Like in hall. Don't ask me how I know this.

There was this movie about palm oil. [Me: Was it about deforestation?]... It had Charlie Sheen... There was one scene about the smell... Apocalypse Now.

How many tea packets did you put? [Me: Who puts more than one?] I'm Indian.

All the news about Russia is about energy... Is there anything other than oil in Russia? [Me: Gas.]

I played an instrument commonly known as the la3 ba1, but actually called suo3 na4. [Me: The funeral trumpet] For wedding. (weddings)

[On a Model United Nations Conference] Eh how are the JC girls nowadays?

[On being hit by my ponytail] I feel violated.

This guy is kinky. He reads porn. All of us watches porn. He reads porn. (watch)

I was always under the impression that you had a girlfriend.

I've been to Paris. [Me: All women want to go to Paris.] Yeah, that's true.

Bring a Dutch girl back. [Me: Dutch girls are ugly.] Yay. [Me: But Singaporean girls are worse.] Hey! Are you saying I'm ugly?

[Me on the rain: You're the only one without {an} umbrella ah?] She got tudung okay. Very powerful.

[Me: Apparently you're supposed to shave your armpit and pubic hair for hygiene reasons.] That's why I adopt that principle. [Someone: Okay. Thanks for letting us know that.] You guys were talking about it what.

[Me: Next time I want a job where you don't need to wear office attire.] Well, there's sanitation.