"I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed." - James Thurber

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Quotes:

[On a letter on pricing at King's Cross Station] I was reading the newspaper... I'm sorry, I'm digressing. But it's still early in the morning... A bottle of water cost more than a bottle of milk... I'm drinking lime juice.

[On vehement objections to Evolutionary Psychology] I feel the need to make the case, because people will knock it down anyway.

[On faux perxeptions of a lack of hierarchies in meerkats] There was a 'Meerkats United' program, dubbed over with David Attenborough's voice.

[On status and sexual access in men] You're not going to tell me that Pop Stars and Footballers... are less advantaged in this respect than people like you and me.

[On going through the midterm] Some of you have done very well. If you want to leave earlier, it's ok.

These arts girls, they ask stupid questions [in class]. Just google it! 'It helps me to think]. [Me: You know women. Or some women. Or most women.] Arts students. [Me: NUS students. What's it like in Science?] In science they don't ask questions. They just sit there. [Me: Which is worse?] Arts. If you don't ask questions you don't disrupt the lesson.

[On bad experiences at his alma mater] RI sucks... I'm sending my kids to Ahmad Ibrahim. They're also 100.

ECA points are useless... My friend has 100 ECA points... [Me: You know Dean's Listers get 8 ECA points?] President of Econs Soc only gets 10 ECA points. I switch with you lah. [Me: It's easier to become Preisent of the Econs Society than to be a Dean's lister.]

Business students are so fucking, fucking lazy... It's their core module, they don't give a damn. I think you can put any econs student there, they will get first class honours... Even ***.

I read your blog so often, my girlfriend said if she doesn't know me, she'll think I have a crush on you. I said: Are you kidding? You haven't seen Gabriel.

[On 'The Graduate'] 'Hard times'. Sounds like a porn movie. [Girl: I was thinking of Charles Dickens, the novel.] I skipped it.

You meet people and you tell them you're a psychologist. 'Can you read my mind?' To which the proper answer is 'yes'. I used to go into long explanations. Now I just say 'yes'.

Mind-body dualism. It's bedevilled psychology ever since... Descartes is really a bad guy in my book because he made this mind-body duality... [Student: It's not his fault. It was his student who made the distinction, not him]

I'll have to read Descartes again. [Student: I'll show you my honours thesis] Nono. Life is short.

The supplementary material here is not data. It's a piece of Alexander the Great.

[On r = -0.88, p < 0.0001, for a relationship between lower male life expectancy and higher homicide rates in 77 Chicago neighbourhoods] If you had data like this in a correlational study, you'd be cheering all the way to the publisher's.

[On shortening snout lengths and rising forehead sizes] Lastly, something I like very much. The evolution of the teddy bear. This research is made possible because in Cambridge there is a teddy bear museum. Teddy bears seem to have undergone evolution, presumably as a result of customer pressure.

If I'm not mistaken, Brahma does not have an anthropromorphic form... Unlike the Christian god. He looks like Santa Claus. With less fat.

[Hindu student:] We have Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu. The Creator, the Destroyer and the... [Non-hindu student: Protector] There're too many. Sometimes I forget too.

[On the cult of the Virgin Mary] But then it became an iconoclastic itself. (icon)

[On oppression of females in religion and feminist theory] You guys feel oppressed in any way, in your religion?... Getting the shorter end of the stick. Not really? That's the point right.

[On quoting from Milton's Paradise Lost] You guys like to know how angels make love?

This is NUS. The best university in the region. That's why filipino boys have to come here.

[On term papers] Generally good. Why do you guys look so sad?

[Me on an essay:] A+ slash perfect (quoted on my No 1 fan's insistence)

[On the exam] It's a really really surreal 2 hours. Anything can happen in the 2 hours.

If you see me around, you can say hi. You know how graduate students are. We're very lonely creatures.

Much Donald's (McDonald's)

[On security guards in the Philippines and Santo Nino dressed as one] The interesting thing is they'd be armed with shotguns, and M16s, and grenades. And toothpicks. No, not grenades.

[Me on Santo Nino dressed as a police officer:] So much for 'The Prince Of Peace'

The semester is coming to an end. [The] class size is becoming smaller.

I think I lost the hair pin you gave me... [Me: I've only lost 1 so far] Because you're not a girl.

[On a model] We need to torture the software a bit more. We need to squeeze. Squeeze the computer.

[On variables in a regression] It's like giving a child so many candies and cookies. Too many things involved.

[On a time fixed effect model] In 78, you're female. In 85, you're still female. Most likely.

[On brevity] Don't write the null wrong. This is not sociology. Don't write too many things. This is statistics.

If you just write 'We should include state effects [in the regression to avoid omitted variable bias]' You get zero marks, 99% significance. [Student: What about the 1%?]