Longtime visitors may remember He Who Must Not Be Named (aka The Associate aka mindgame aka nw.t.), who used to post a year or two back. Besides having a uniquely warped view of human reality (for example, he believes that most people would rather be spoiled about the ending of some book, game or movie than have their names mentioned casually to other people, or online), he also delights in rejoicing at selectively digging up pithy quotes from the unearthly amount of books he reads to celebrate the depressive states that he is wont to fall into.

Perhaps sinking further into such reverie awakens some masochistic tendencies in him, causing him to streak naked down streets like the flagellants of yesteryear, exulting in their suffering. Or perhaps such suffering is to him exalted, purifying the body and the soul.

One of these quotes particularly struck me as being specious:


"Everybody wants one more chance."

"What's so bad about that?"

"It makes a mockery of the past. Every time you start again, it diminishes what you've had before. Can't you see that? It chops your life up into these little bite-sized morsels. If you have endless goes at getting it right, then you will never get it right. Not even once. Because starting again turns the best thing in the world into just another takeaway. Fast love. Junk love. Love to go."

"Don't you want one more chance?"

"I've had my chance."


The moral he draws from this is that "it merely places a value judgment on people's decisions to seek love and happiness, and how that constant pursuit of "sopmething (sic) better" or "a second chance" leads to a morally and spiritually debasing conclusion. it's an ascetic condemnation of hedonist values. It claims that attempts at finding further chances are inevitably flawed and pallid."

I find, though, that the author's premise of "one and only one chance, otherwise the significance of all is nullied" is fallacious. Having endless goes at "getting it right", learning nothing from each attempt and finally stumbling upon an answer due to dumb luck does indeed make a mockery of the past.

But to adopt an "all or nothing", "one time or never" approach (which he claims to favour in his dealings and actions, despite the dictates of reality) is surely ridiculous. My favourite counter-example to debunk this "all or nothing" philosophy is about immortality: if your lifelong dream is to be immortal, but you are unable to get the formula for your elixer of youth right on your first try, then you might as well commit seppuku forthwith.

Since you've failed in your attempts, having another chance makes a mockery of the past. Every time you start again, it diminishes what you've had before. It chops your attempts at attaining your dream up into these little bite-sized morsels. If you have endless goes at getting it right, then you will never get it right. Not even once. Because starting again in pursuit of your dreams turns the best things in the world into just another takeaway. Fast dreams. Junk dreams. Dreams to go."

[Addendum:

The Associate claims that he's "too tired and drained and exhausted to feel any outrage at how miserably wrong you've misinterpreted my philosophy. again."

One day I shall get him to elucidate, but for now I stand by my diagnosis, interpretation and dissection of the issue.]

Total Defence: Now anyone can be a seditious traitor!

Total Defence: What does it mean?

Military and Civil defence are easy to grasp, but what about the more nebulous concepts of Economic, Psychological and Social 'Defence'?


Total Defence Action Pack 2002 - WHAT IS TOTAL DEFENCE? : Talk Script

"Economic Defence

It also means having a system to mobilise and share resources between the private and public sectors. During an emergency, our offices and factories must be able to carry on even when men and equipment are mobilised. [Ed: So women, be patriotic and carry out the task of running our economy if your men are away!]

Two, our economy has to be strong enough to withstand external shocks. This means having sound economic policies, managing our finances wisely, and having a well-trained labour force. [Ed: Moral of the story: Don't complain when your CPF and wages are cut, or when we refuse to disburse our hefty budget surplus. If you lose your job it's your fault and if you refuse to take a menial job that is unsuitable for you or underpays you, you are being treacherous.]

Individual Level
At the individual level, Economic Defence means lifelong learning and continual skills upgrading. In this rapidly changing world, we need to constantly update ourselves with new skills and knowledge. [Ed: Going for BEST, WISE and what-not is your solemn and sacred patriotic duty!]

Social Defence

National Level
Social Defence is about Singaporeans of all races and religions living and working together in harmony. We will be able to do so if we practise racial and religious tolerance, provide opportunities for all regardless of their race, language or religion, and help the less fortunate. On 21 July each year, we commemorate Racial Harmony Day to remind Singaporeans never to take racial and religious harmony for granted. [Ed: Those we decry as racists and bigots will henceforth be pariahs and hounded out of the country. If you do not subscribe to our version of Race and Religion in Singapore, you are not helping Total Defence and jeopardising the safety of our fair country! Meanwhile we practise institutionalised racism in the SAF (and possibly elsewhere), but that's alright.]

Individual Level
Social Defence at the individual level means showing tolerance and respect for other races, cultures, religions and lifestyles. In our daily lives, we could make time to learn about the foods, costumes, cultures and heritage of the different races in Singapore. [Ed: Ditto.]

Psychological Defence

National Level
Some say Psychological Defence is the most important, but also the most difficult to promote. It is about our loyalty and commitment to our country, and our confidence in Singapore’s future. Only when Singaporeans stay united will we have the will to stand up for our rights and defend what is ours. We have to strengthen our “heartware” so that we have a stronger sense of attachment and belonging to our home. [Ed: Crimethink is not allowed. Since we have fused the party, the state and the nation, criticism of one is tantamount to criticism of all, and undermines Psychological Defence. If you leave this country because it's not the best place for you to live your life and bring your kids up in (eg If you're gay and being bashed on all sides), you're traitorous.]

That is why we have National Education in our schools and other nation-building efforts (such as promoting our national symbols, national songs and our National Day celebrations). Through the Singapore 21 vision, we hope to involve Singaporeans in creating the type of society that they would like Singapore to be. [Ed: Our Social Engineering is totally justified. No matter that the Nazis engaged in such jingoism and social engineering as well.]"

"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'" - Don Marquis

***

I just came back from a buffet dinner at a HDB void deck. No, I wasn't attending a Malay Wedding or a Chinese Funeral, but a ORD party during which we got Vincent so intoxicated that he puked (pity).

I think I've found one of the last non-Halal catering services in Singapore, so I no longer have to set up my own in future!

Meng Hiang Catering

Blk 15 Woodlands Loop #02-53
Woodlands Ind. Estate Singapore 738322

Tel: 6756 2833 / 6756 1450 Fax: 6756 7499

website: http://www.menghiang.com/

***

You, Like, So Need a Boob Job

While you think your breasts are cute and perky,
a couple of hard grapefruits would be an improvement.
Who knows? Maybe if you ho yourself out to Howard Stern
you'll get some breast implants for free!

Do *You* Need a Boob Job? Click Here to Find Out!
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

***

Schiavo parents claim daughter has tried to tell of desire to live

"At that point Mrs Schiavo made the first two vowel sounds of the sentence "Ahh Wuhh", said the motion, adding that Mrs Schiavo was unable to finish the sentence and then became very anxious.

Most medical experts say that the noises Mrs Schiavo occasionally makes are nothing more than unconscious groans and that she is not aware of her surroundings. Others have said that if Mrs Schiavo did indeed say the words "I want", she could just as easily have been trying to say, "I want to die"."

Hahahahaha. I never quite thought of it that way.


Terri Schiavo Status

"We all want to keep up with the status of Terri Schiavo, right? Well, now you can with this Terri Schiavo Status Firefox Extension!

Usage: Just click the link below, and install the extension. When you restart Firefox, look at the status bar at the bottom of the Firefox window!"

***

I saw a woman reading a booklet: "Why do Christians get sick?"

I can envision a whole series of such books:

- Why don't many Christians get rich?
- Why do Christians die?
- Why do some Christians bomb abortion clinics?
- Why do many Christians deny Evolution?
- Why do Christians de-convert?

***

Top 10 Vestigial Organs

10) The Wings on Flightless Birds
9) Hind Leg Bones in Whales
8) Erector Pili and Body Hair (We don't need to - and more importantly can't - scare off predators by making ourselves look bigger anymore)
7) The Human Tailbone (Coccyx) - more evidence that we used to have tails
6) The Blind Fish Astyanax Mexicanus
5) Wisdom teeth in humans (I'm not sure that this fits the definition of a vestigial organ though)
4) The Sexual Organs of Dandelions (Dandelions reproduce asexually)
3) Fake Sex in Virgin Whiptail Lizards (Vestigial Behavior) - The parthenogenic lizards sometimes act as males and try to mount another female
2) Male Breast Tissue and Nipples (I'm not sure that this fits the definition of a vestigial organ either)
1) The Human Appendix

[Appendum:

Techno Prince adds:

- pelvic bones and "spurs" in primitive snakes
- the plantaris muscle in the human calf. In our primate relatives it flexes the toes and is useful for gripping branches. But in us it may be atrophied or even absent, and disappears into the Achilles tendon.
- the huge roots of our canines. Even though our canines are much smaller compared to other primates, the roots are still huge.]

***

The Normal Technical stream in Yishun Town Secondary School has a Dean. Now the concept of a Chicken Executive Officer in KFC doesn't sound quite so ridiculous.

What an age we live in, where we have Bus 'Captains' and Walmart has "Associates" whom they screw anyway despite their fancy title.

"If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg." - Abraham Lincoln


I seem now to have 3 hair lengths - one of my fringe, one of my side and one of my back - so it looks quite weird.

A source informs me that when she was in Secondary 2 (1998), Nan Hua Secondary also had ridiculous rules for girls' hair. Someone should do a comprehensive study on this kind of thing.

I wonder if slaves in the SAF with PhD are allowed to add the "Dr" honorific to their name. For example, CPT (Dr) He Ruimin. Dentists can do that, I know.

Unlike most people, it seems listening to music breaks my concentration, so I can't listen to it when doing hardcore work.

Putting crisps that have lost their crispness in the fridge for a few hours seems to restore much of their crispness. Must be the dry air. But when I take them out of the fridge they lose most of their restored vitality. Damn.

I doubt the pronunciation of Evolution as "Evil'lution" helps its image in some circles. Maybe they should adopt the other pronunciation.

***

Oddly, the Ridge's (NUSSU's official magazine) Feb/March issue had another article about fee hikes, even though that topic is stale and uninteresting. And interestingly, their article sounded like the writer had read the one I wrote. Hmm.

I was surprised that even Political Science has a statistics module. This confirms my theory that all the social sciences involve mathematics and statistics to some degree. So those who are really hopeless at it should go do humanities.

Apparently an Oxford Graduate has a vocabulary of 3000 words, and Shakespeare 5000 (according to an English major, anyway).

Quotes:

The survey on Island (Ireland)

[On Ireland] If they want to ask for aid, they use GNP... If they want to show that they are developed, they use GDP. Actually we do that in Singapore. There are many ways of defining the budget surplus... They give you the lower figure.

[On Singapore's growth not coming from improved technology but increased labour and capital] It's very interesting, because he compare us to Soviet Union. That we would be like Soviet Union... our growth is by perspiration, not by inspiration. We are like a sausage factor, and will come to a dismal end. (compared, the Soviet Union)

[On Woo and Thia, 2002] They found our TFPG [Ed: Total Factor Productivity Growth]. It was 0.94. That means it was above 0.

[On Krugman's criticism of Singapore's not using technology to raise GDP, and Woo and Thia] Of course you may say 'sour grapes'. They say our TPFG is low, so we try and prove them wrong. That's what a lot of my colleagues did. They took the data and found ways of looking at it.

East of Swears (Suez)

[On import substitution] That's why sometimes you hear people say 'we just need to annex johor, and we'll be fine'.

dry, clow clockwork (cold)

[Me: You're not dressed goofily today.] I don't always dress goofily. [Me: That means sometimes you dress goofily.]

This is known as the 'Red Queen' hypothesis. Which is very nice because it comes from another faculty. English Literature. Finally, you've something from English Literature.

[On a description of Oregon being peaceful, with beavers and ducks] Beaver and Duck. But we've heard that ducks are very good at raping. So it's not that gentle.

[On ants being a bad meal] Ants... A lot of poison and not very much nutrition. Mostly roughage. [Student: But they taste great.] If they're big and chocolate coated, yes.

[On a cecidom cloning maggots] I actually find it rather cute but you will probably find it disgusting.

[On sex having explanatory value for the world around us] If you look around campus you see a lot of evidence for the phenomenon of sex.

[On senescence] You guys are too young to have experienced much of that. It's when your joints start hurting and you start getting really fat.

[Me on senescence: After menopause.] Except we don't have menopause. [Male Student: Yay.] [Girl: Beer bellies.]

The uy is going to be let off scots-free (scot)

[On understanding the law courts] You need to be legalistically trained (legally)

[On the Neyman-Pearson Lemma] 2 people. Jeremy Neyman and Pearson. Not Karl Pearson. Hahah! Here is the twist. Karl Pearson was dead by 1934, if you remember my little story last week.

Polish Jew (Polish - pronounced as pore'lish]

That's the problem with scientific theories. Once you discover it, they will seem obvious. Newton's Law of Gravity is now obvious. Einstein's Theory of Relativity is still not obvious. (them)

[On the Uniformly Most Powerful test] When you find such a test, you should scream in joy.

[On not covering something but recommending that we read it] And it's not easy. Not difficult to understand. (hard)

[On hypothesis testing] Most teachers of statistics will say: Nah, there is the rule. Memorise it. Last time it was a closed book exam. Everyone can memorise it, everyone can apply it. Everyone will score 100 marks. You ask them what they are doing, they have no idea... At the end of the course they have no idea what statistics is all about. I'm determined not to fall into that trap. Sp that you know what you are doing. So that you can carry out a decent conversation with a scientist. Just remember to tell them who your teacher is. (him)

Think through it yourself. I have already said it twice. I can repeat it n times, or even to infinity, but I will probably collapse well before that.

studies on tweens (twins)

You have a matching hairband. [Me: Lucky]... You look very different in your IVLE picture. [Me: Most people do.]

You can employ a maid to replace your mom. [Professor: You replace your mom, then what will your mom do? Your mom has no job.]

Prostitution is legal in Singapore? I didn't know that.

[On the Moral Majority] They can go to [a] Star Cruise... There are so many casinos in America. It's just a small casino, why are they kicking up such a big fuss?

[On F1 racing and such] The government became a bit puritanical, then they got rid of all these things. The now they've gotten decadent and they're trying to bring all these things back.

Another question which I can't answer here is: This is how our system works. They ask for feedback, then have a song and dance. Then the man comes up: go back to work. They have already made up their minds. They just want to give you a sense of participating.

You're laughing, because you haven't been doing any work ***. I know. You don't do homework but I still have to teach you.

[On student feedback] We're trying to find out. Do you all have too much work to do? *cries of assent from students*

In Singapore, you don't just study what you want. Everyone is doing life science, because that is what the government wants.

They pull the rug under your feet (from under)

How do you encourage them to work? At the same time, you want them to have 3 kids or more.

[Possibly on woman dominating certain industries] All these women. Slimming agencies. Gabriel, did you take a look? All these trading houses, slimming centres.

12 thousand. For that you can hire 3 young accountancy girls. 3 accountancy students... You can hire 3 young accountancy students. Brighten up the office, instead of this old man there.

[On RSA deciphering] So that is why it is very secure up to, up to this moment, because you are not able to factorise a 200 digit number, in a short time. It wills take 10 to the power of 9 years to do it... the message, although you value, um, nobody will be around to read it anyway (will)

"I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it." - Tom Stoppard

***

The results of the poll are out, with 124 votes recorded (hopefully no one tried to stuff the ballot box, though I *did* implement some measures to counter that eventuality)!

Results:
Personal anecdotes/musings 30 (24%)
NUS Commentary 21 (16%)
Amusements/frivolity 21 (16%)
Quotes 15 (12%)
Religion 11 (8%)
Pseudo/Quasi intelligentsia 11 (8%)
Political Commentary 8 (6%)
Miscellaneous (specify) 6 (4%)
Technology 1 (0%)
124 Total votes

Some people thought that I was going to tailor my content to my audience. Fear not; among other reasons, since I don't get paid for this (especially since no one ever clicks on my Google ads, boo hoo. Though they've just mailed out my first cheque which strangely, though sent by "First Class US Mail", will take 2-3 weeks to arrive), I've no obligation at all to follow the results of the poll. In fact, I could be characteristically perverse and go in the other direction. Or start typing smth lyk dis.... hiakz...

In any case, the poll was just to find out what people find interesting about this place, and my curiosity is thus assuaged.


Also, it seems most blogs are largely comprised of one-issue posts; unlike mine, they have a theme running through each post. They also do not have 2000 word long posts.

The joys of verbose eclecticism!


ted writes:

"When are you posting your commentary on why is it Christianity have such a draw on the young? Waiting for t very long liao leh."

Patience, young grasshopper. Good things come to those who wait. (More importantly, I still have quite a lot of backlog to cover, and am trying to fit PRTF to Institutional Realities)

***

The Young Republic on Abstinence-only policies, STDs and such:

A: I fail to see your point.

What exactly is wrong with teaching abstinence from sex, being that it is the ONLY safe method to guarantee prevention of sexually transmitted diseases, as well as a host of social problems such as adultary, bribery et al?

If the Government decides that they want to prevent the spread of AIDS by clamping down on such activities, it is not much different then it's clamping down on, say, chewing gum by limiting its use here.

B: Hey, let me give you a piece of advice. Don't ever have sex, okay? Because
even if you're married and use a condom with your spouse every single time you come within 2 feet of each other's genitals, you can't guarantee you won't get an STD. Your spouse may be infected before marriage/unfaithful/rape victim/intravenous drug user/recipient of contaminated blood transfusion/unfortunate individual in whom inexplicable spontaneous venereal bacterial infections occur. And condoms break. THE
ONLY SAFE METHOD IS TO ABSTAIN... FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.

(The government can deal with the resulting baby shortage by growing them from scratch in vats - I'm sure they're doing the relevant research already.)

Risk is an unavoidable element of a fulfilling and fruitful life. "Safe methods" and "guarantees" are for pussies. Pardon my French.

B.

p.s. I have no idea where you got it into your head that teaching abstinence prevents adultery. I don't even want to imagine what you mean by 'bribery'.

B: After sending my last email it occurred to me that maybe there's a way you
can avoid STDs but still have sex - just make sure all the instances of sex you ever engage in centre around raping day-old babies. But then I remembered babies can be born with HIV or other STDs as well. Too bad. You just have to go without ever getting laid.

p.s. Of course giving out condoms at a party encourages casual sex. People who have personal inhibitions against casual sex are instantly and completely changed in this respect by contact with a condom packet, and people who are generally enthusiastic about casual sex would never be able to get a condom anywhere else. I apologise for my earlier gross misunderstanding of reality.

B.

***

Dr Late is one of the 29183 people (as of writing) who have signed the "FACTS" (FAMILIES AGAINST the CASINO THREAT in SINGAPORE) petition. Eheh. Why am I not surprised? Incidentally, this is what happens when you socially engineer a populace for decades to believe that gambling is evil, wrong and immoral, and then suddenly change your mind (so you've to start bashing gays).

the burden and standard of proof - Why criminalising the unwitting transmission of AIDS (or HIV, more accurately) is a bad idea

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, Archbishop of Genoa on The Da Vinci Code: "The book is everywhere. There is a very real risk that many people who read it will believe that the fables it contains are true."
How ironic...

The Virtues of Promiscuity - "The latest anthropological research shows that female infidelity is good for the family, the community, and even the gene pool... If the anthropologists are right, monogamy may well be counter-evolutionary or an adaptation to modern life. Or perhaps the nuclear family has always been more of an ideal than a reality."

Medical, Ethical Questions Largely Decided, Experts Say - "For all the political controversy over whether Terri Schiavo is in a persistent vegetative state and should be allowed to die, neurologists and ethicists said yesterday that the case presents few scientific and legal ambiguities."
That people so against 'unnatural' things could be for the unnatural animation of a dead person in a gross mockery of life and against the person's will is curious. Or pehaps not, given conservatives' behavior in other fields.

Schoolgirls playing filthy game of orgy roulette - "Russian Roulette is filled with inherent dangers, but Japanese schoolgirls have apparently devised a version where there're plenty of shots fired, but none of them are bullets, according to Hanashi no Channel (2/20). Instead of a single bullet being loaded into a revolver chamber and the trigger pulled until it lets off with a blast, Russian Sex Roulette, the schoolgirls' derivative game, sees the girls allow any number of men to unleash their weapons in her chamber."

***

"Humor in British and American trade magazines (Hypothesis tests for differences between proportions)" - wth.

For an article I wrote I had to give the people I interviewed pseudonyms. The people I interviewed either weren't online or weren't responding, so I named all of them, save one, after Power Rangers. Coincidentally, there were 4 girls, so I could insert the names of each of my 4 favourite female rangers in. Ho ho! (I'm so going to get lynched)


Quotes:

Decant the garlic bread into the bowl (put)

Note: This post was posted on 19th March but dated 26th March so it stays at the top. Scroll down for posts newer than these.


Unlike many or perhaps most other blogs, this blog has no particular theme, ergo one reason for the name 'Balderdash', though perhaps the neologism 'Eclectia' would have been a better choice.

I am curious about what sort of content interests my readers, and so have decided to do a poll.

The major categories of content I've identified:

1) Quotes (Funny quotes or quotes of bad english)
2) NUS Commentary
3) Political Commentary (though I think it pales in comparison to more specialised sites)
4) Religion (includes polemics, links and such)
5) Personal anecdotes/musings
6) Pseudo-/Quasi-Intelligentsia topics (Content on topics like philosophy, science, social science, mathematics, the arts and such. Also includes material related to academics)
7) Amusements/frivolity (links, jokes, funny pictures etc)
8) Technology (here again I am left in the dust)
9) Miscellaneous (please specify in poll comments or the blog entry comment box)


THE POLL IS NOW CLOSED. Thank you for your participation.

This poll is dated 26/03/2005 so as to remain at the top of the other entries for the next week.

Why should civil servants stop plundering the coffers?

WHEN the latest Transparency International forum was held, it was reported that the panelists issued a joint declaration that corruption should be stopped, given that it arrests a country's development ('Global Anti-Corruption NGO Blasts Corrupt Officials'; The Straits Times, February 20).

I am amused that members of the educated elite would find it appropriate to ask Governments to set up anti-corruption watchdogs, bodies which would effectively put an end to the practice of politicians and civil servants enriching themselves splendidly at the expense of their country.

One would have thought that it is up to the people to track down corrupt officials and try to expose them to the press (even if their letters might not be published).

It is NGOs like Transparency International, if they feel strongly that corruption should be stopped, who should go and 'carry out investigations' and such to stamp out corruption.

They are just like the typical NGO which urges politicians and civil servants to do everything, even to the extent of depriving them of their filthy lucre.

N!ôrlãn


The above is a parody of the following (real) letter. And, no, if you think I'm insinuating that civil servants are corrupt, you've totally missed the point of the parody (I was originally going to write about the Police urging robbers to turn themselves in, but decided that it was so subtle, even I wasn't getting it).


Why should Govt put itself out of power?

WHEN Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong delivered the National University of Singapore Society's 50th Anniversary Lecture, it was reported that an NUS alumnus asked for Singapore to have alternative leadership, given that the Government is now opening up for more debate ('If casino gets nod, 'social costs will be managed'; The Sunday Times, March 20).

I am amused that a member of the educated elite would find it appropriate to ask the Government to set up a two-party system, a system which may effectively put the ruling party which forms the Government out of power if it succeeds.

One would have thought that it is up to the people to set up a viable opposition party that may offer alternative leadership to the present Government.

It is people like the NUS alumnus, if he feels strongly that there should be alternative leadership, who should go and 'rope in ex-ministers and MPs' and other like- minded people to form a political party.

He is just like the typical Singaporean who depends on the Government to do everything, even to the extent of asking it to put itself out of power.

Peter Teo Boon Haw


loupgarou26: "the government serves the people, not itself. if it be the best interest of the people that a two party system exist in order to provide checks and balances as well as to prevent political stagnation, then the government should create a playing field where a two party system can exist.

OR have we already reached the state where the government serves itself above the people.

has PAP become "PAP Action Party" and not "People's Action Party" ?"

[Editor's note: A clarification about my letter parody - I am not suggesting that we SHOULD split the PAP up, just that to rule out that possibility a priori because political parties don't and shouldn't do anything against their own interests is ridiculous.]


I want to parody the reports about mandatory HIV testing, but I've no ideas. At first I did something on SARS, then realised it didn't work very well.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Krishnamurti

Random Playlist Song: Florence Foster Jenkins - Aria - Queen of the Night

Finally, someone who sings worse than my brother in law!

***

I think I'm suffering from blogger fatigue. Reading, more than writing.

And, no, RSS doesn't help. It's not the layouts that bog me down anyway.

***

The new colour the house is painted in looks like the old colour. Makes you wonder what the point of repainting was.






Above is the fragile glass dish (on which to put soap) that my mother got and which now lies in my sister's toilet.

Note how the dish rests lightly and loosely in the metal socket, being held in place merely by dint of gravity. Note also how a gentle nudge from one edge of the dish might disupt the dish's fragile equilibrium and send it hurtling over the edge of the bracket to a most unpleasant fate below.


I bothered to use Macro focus for this one, so it's much sharper.

Above is what remains of the glass dish that was placed in my toilet, and which lasted for about half a week. I was quite sure I'd eventually shatter the dish, but I didn't think it'd be quite so soon.

Needless to say, my mother was livid, though she did not shout in my face. Perhaps she recalled my urging her not to upgrade my toilet.


I am ever more sure now of my decision not to have children in the future.

***

More stuff that makes you go "what the hell?!":

'profanity', in a blog comment -

"I am intrigued by bloggers who like putting up narcissistic webcam photos of themselves leaning their boobs/moobs into the screen. They rule!!!"


More hatemail (of a sort - calmone, be jealous! Meanwhile I shall swoon over the many comments you draw from females):

"little presumptuous piggies like you exist...dude, just get your head out from the well ok? but oh dear god, please, don't stop enlightening and enlivening us with your little baseless essays and manifestos. i LOVE smart little piggies like you."

- from Lissa on the waiting room

It is curious how people love to make broad proclamations about supposed problems with other people's ideas, and then switch to ad hominem insults and attacks instead of addressing the putative problems.

Some time earlier, "z." on Livejournal commented that:

"we should always refrain from criticising things that we barely understand - you provided a very subjective and insensitive interpretation of what makes something halal, the processes and all."

No ad hominem insults and attacks here, at least, but till today, despite my requesting for such, I have not gotten an elaboration about how my interpretation was "subjective", or how I "barely [understood]" the Halal concept.

***

Parody of Jack Chick tracts: CthulhuMirror - Who will be eaten first?

Panel 1) One day, while sitting in a cafe...

A: George, it's vital that you make the right decision before you die.

2) George: You're gonna say I have to choose between God and the devil, right?

A: WRONG!

3) A: The stars are right! The Elder Gods are going to rise and eat us all!

"In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming." - HP Lovecraft

4) A: Soon the evil spawn, who had slept for eons... will awaken to clear the earth of man!

That is not dead which can eternal lie... And with strange aeons even death may die - H.P.l

5) A: NO ONE will be saved! EVERYONE will die and mankind itself will come to a horrible end!

... I shall never sleep calmly again when I think of the horrors that lurk ceaselessly behind life in time and in space, and of those unhallowed blasphemies from elder stars that dream beneath the sea... HPl.

6) A: Soon the seas will turn red with the blood of the human race, as the unspeakable terrors come from beyond the gate, which is Yog Sothoth, to devour all in their path! IaI Shub Niggurath! Ia! Ia!

7) George: So if were (sic) all gonna die, what difference does it make? Who cares? Nothing I can do about it... or is there?!

8) A: You're right George... It's hopeless. But there is one thing we can hope for... TO BE EATEN FIRST!

9) George: BE EATEN FIRST?! What the fuck kind of advantage is that?! Give me one good reason why I would WANT to be eaten first! ONE GOOD REASON!!!

10) A: Do you really want to stick around and watch the entire world be destroyed by evil creatures from beyond Hell?

George: Not really...

11) George: Oh God... your (sic) right... I don't want to see it all end! I want to be eaten quickly! What do I have to do to make my death a swift one?

The thing cannot be described - there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy... H.P.l..

12) A: You must worship and sacrifice at the altar to appease the appetites of the Elder Gods! Then may you hope for a fast death!

Cultist: Ph'ngful mghw'nath Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl lhtagnl

Cultist 2 (thinking): Gasp... This can't be!

Cultists: CTHULHU FHTAGN!

Sacrifice (presumably): WAAAHH

13) A: Chant invocations from the NECRONOMICON, the book of dead names written by the Mad Monk, Abdul Alhazred!

14) A: Only then... on the dreaded day when they rise... Will you be eaten first!

15) (Some other stuff I couldn't bother to transcribe - Full parody)

***

"Such babies usually grow up to be extremely attractive and very feminine girls"

- The now un-free ST on babies with genital anomalies

Something to think about the next time you pick girls up at clubs.

***

David Close Reads the word "Rational" - "‘Rational’ is derived from its near twin ‘ration.’ A rational individual is a rationed individual, who measures his emotions, words, and deeds for maximum impact. Nothing is wasted, all is measured, calculated, focused, tabulated."
!@#$%^&*() ... lit students

YDE Ads Sport Gender Discrimination in These Poster Photos? Well Spank Their Behinds! - "To call attention to its new Fall line, the Young Designers Emporium of South Africa has a new poster ad campaign in its shop windows. The "Brand Spanking New Fashions" posters feature models in their underwear sporting red marks on their thighs to imply they've been spanked with a paddle."

Sex crime prosecutor fired over note to girl - "The Marion County deputy prosecutor who was assistant chief of the sex crimes division was fired this week for sending a romantic e-mail to a 16-year-old girl."

Llanfairpwll - How to Say the Name Llanfairpwllgwyngyll

Lyrebird - "A Lyrebird is either of two large ground-dwelling Australian birds, most notable for their extraordinary ability to mimic natural and artificial sounds from their environment. A lyrebird's call is a rich mixture of its own song and any number of other sounds it has heard. Lyrebirds commonly mimic other species of bird or animal, and not uncommonly include sounds as diverse as chainsaws, car engines, rifle-shots, camera shutters, and crying babies."

Sleep survey wake-up call to Asia - "People in Asia burn the midnight oil, sleeping later than most Americans and Europeans and then waking up earlier, a global survey on sleep habits has found."

The Failure of the War on Drugs-BECKER - "A 200% tax on the legal use of drugs by all adults-consumption by say persons under age 18 would still be illegal. That would reduce consumption in the same way as the present war, and would also increase total spending on drugs, as in the current system. But the similarities end at that point. The tax revenue from drugs would accrue to state and federal authorities..."

***

I was walking along the road in school when a pickup truck drove past me. Not all that unusual, except that a huge cage totally enclosed the back of the pickup.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw 2 moving shapes at the back of the pickup. At first I thought they were circus animals, but the use of animals is been banned in local circuses. Then I considered that maybe they were from Cirque du Soleil, but then I didn't hear any bad pseudo-Jazz music blaring from the pickup's sound systems, nor did I see garish colours and outlandish designs out of some French guy's acid trip. Perhaps it was a travelling freak show? But then the Elephant Man has been dead for over a century.

And so I turned around, and saw 2 girls at the back of the pickup which, as you might recall, had a cage enclosing its entire rear portion. Otherwise, there was nothing spectacular. Though I did see one of the butt cracks that my sister and Ban Xiong keep complaining about seeing.


"We are still looking into the matter. We will get back to you as soon as possible." - I think the FCINUS has been PELUed (Public Entertainment Licensing Unit-ed), perhaps due in part to a faux pas on our part. I suppose we will wait for next semester and see if they've sorted everything out by then.

I saw a sign in the toilet announcing that a PDA lost in October last year had been found. These people are really slow. Or maybe the PDA fell through a time warp, or something.

After listening to many of Ban Xiong's extensive speeches on the difference between Science girls and Arts girls, looking around my economics lecture I almost thought I was in Science. Well, in the most Science-like Arts lecture group, at any rate.


Quotes:

Poly'boose (Polybius)

vision'near cipher (cigenere)

[On fast food discount coupons] One whole page of discount coupons. So mind-boggling. But who has the time to pick them out one by one? [Student: What's so hard about that?]... There are people who really use these coupons. [Me: She doesn't ah?] [Student: She's rich enough]

When Texas Instruments first came up with the handheld calculator... 4 functions: add, divide. Add, subtract, multiply, divide. So bulky, [costing a] hundred dollars. I should have kept it, because I would be able to sell it on eBay.

You look very confused, this girl sitting there. Come and see me. [Student: We're all very confused]

Have you been to Disneyland? I'm sure you have... I haven't been there, don't bring me... The fee to enter Disneyland is very high, but all the rides are free. Actually the rides are not free. As economists you know that you pay a cost, in time. Queueing... Actually the queue is not very long.

Getting Gertie's Gartle (Garter)

[On a class video] This is like, pirated. Stop piracy.

It's pretty amazing what birds will do to impress their mates. *displays notice of assignment deadline* Here's what you have to do to impress me.

[On sensory exploitation] This sounds like a theory thought up after a drunken night.

Fashion - yes, fashion is a social construct. I've used the 's' word, in a positive sense.

It's not a social construct. Some of you say it takes the romance out of love. You don't take the romance out of it. The romance is still in there. You just know how it comes about.

[Student on love being genetically advantageous: How do you explain courtly love?] [Me: 'Social construct']... Victorian era... Queen Victoria did not like her huband.

If you were a hermaphrodite, what would you do? [Student: Find another hermaphrodite and decide who's the male and who's the female] That would be a dumb thing to do.

Just a rule of tum (thumb)

Another guest editorial:


A SAMPLE OF A CHINESE OPPOSITION PRESS

Was at YIH today when I picked up another copy of THE EPOCH TIMES WEEKLY (SINGAPORE EDITION), which I always find fun to read. Especially when it says that it is the uncensored, unbiased source of news for the Chinese speaking world. In short, this newspaper, with a circulation in Taiwan, Hong Kong, Japan, the US, Canada, Australia, NZ, Europe, Singapore and SE Asia, claims itself as the opposition press to the state-run PRC media.

I always find it a fun read, particularly because a quick flip through it reveals itself to be the least fact-based, sentimental agitprop imaginable. Clearly positioning itself against the CCP, every issue would contain some veiled attack or another. In one issue, it featured an article on Russia describing the wonders that it had gone through ever since Communism fell and it adopted capitalism. Among one of the data cited included “80 percent of Moscow residents have villas out in the countryside, and that every weekend they would head out to the villas to enjoy life.” While it sounds like Moscow had apparently found an amazing level of home ownership, anyone at least familiar with Russian culture would know that these villas are called “Dachas”, and the fact that many Russians have obtained these Dachas was in part due to the Soviet era where the trade unions had the task of obtaining land for the Dachas and distributing them among their members. Such pieces depicting journeys to former Eastern Bloc countries are just one of the inept examples of the Epoch Times’ “journalism”. This week we have another piece on Budapest, predictably ending a paragraph on the Hungarian flag, and how it “reflected the sacrifices and hope for the future the Hungarian people possessed.” This agitprop-disguised-as-travel op-ed piece comes after two pages after an urban legend page talking about the misfortunes that arose from Communists smashing Buddha statues, and a psychic that predicted Edward Kennedy’s near-death escape in the Chappaquiddick incident.

But this week’s issue takes the cake on the final page, with a movie review of KUNG FU HUSTLE. The reviewer describes it as a film “filled with justice and humanity and compassion, displaying the fundamental truth that good never triumphed over evil, displaying justice, conscience, heroism and truth, chivalry and morality”.

Spread that definition wide enough, and it can apply to “The Lord of the Rings”, “The Mummy”, “Star Wars”, “Rambo I—III”, “Rocky I—V”, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, “Spiderman 1—2”, “Hellboy”, “The Incredibles”, “Die Hard” and “Battlefield Earth”. In short, it is a conventional happy-ending blockbuster.

And that is not all, according to the article, “The portrayal of the gangsters in the movie is similar to the CCP, and the final fight between the users of the Buddha Palm and the Toad Skill is very thought-provoking…only by uniting, like the heroes in the film, against the system, can we come to enjoy the glorious sunshine of democracy.”

Indeed, the mind boggles at how a man can using the toad skill, bloat himself up like a balloon and bounce around like a pinball, or how a man can send giant invisible forcefields down from the sky to crush his opponents. Notice how it does not say that the portrayal of the gangsters is similar to that of the CCP, because obviously if you dig deep enough any political system has its fair share of closet skeletons. Power corrupts. The only advantage to a system such as democracy is that the rights of the ruler hang not on his own conscience, but the will of the people. The Epoch Times, therefore, displays a fundamental lack of the workings of democracy, assuming it is the “glorious sunshine” that will come after any form of autocracy is defeated. History has more often than not, proven that this is not the case, all democracy was achieved via a phase consisting of the disenfranchisement of political and ethnic minorities, and the crushing of dissent. It took the French two empires and three republics to get their experiment right, and the Americans 200 years.

Best of all, the review puts words into Stephen Chow’s mouth, I swear, the author mentions that one of his friends told him about an interview with Stephen Chow, and that in the interview Chow said indirectly that “I am a very humble, normal person, and that movies are the way that I help to realize my fantasies.” Notice he never quotes Chow directly, but he manipulates a quote from a friend about Chow, my my, what journalistic integrity. If we are going to take this quote from Chow as a fact that secretly he desires the overthrowing of the CCP and not that he wanted to fulfill the fantasies of watching numerous martial arts movies as a child, then we must consider that Peter Jackson also directed the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy to fulfill a fantasy of his a possible sign that New Zealand has an oppressive, tyrannical political system despite being the first country in the world to have women’s suffrage and recognize the Maori culture as part of its makeup, and not that he wanted to go and relive the fantasy trilogy that he loved reading. Then quick, we must go and pull the cover on the parliamentary system of New Zealand and denounce it for its evil!

With such fine journalistic quality, the fact that the CCP in all its magnanimity allowed this paper to have its little corner in the SAR may in fact be a sign it tolerates its opponents more than given credit for.

With such an opposition press, I would hunger for state-owned media anyday.

--- Ivan Patrarch-Mayne

"First secure an independent income, then practice virtue." - Greek Proverb

***

Many years ago, an ancient civilization flourished until an evil force rose up and vanquished its ancient protectors, wielders of the light side of the mystic force in the universe, aided by one of their order who'd been seduced by the powers of the dark side of the mystic force and then betrayed and destroyed them.

In the present day, the traitor, now clad in black armour, helmet, face mask and faux leather gloves, with a flowing cloak and speaking in a deep voice, squares off with a bearded survivor garbed in brown robes from the order's glory days and strikes him down while the latter has an impassive look on his face, as his pupil, a modern day member of the order, watches on helplessly.

This pupil battles the traitor, who is revealed to be his father, and cannot accept this fact since he has always been told that his father died when he was young. His father then tries to seduce him to the dark side, but fails.

Later, the traitor watches helplessly by the side as his master battles and defeats his son, and zaps him with dark lightning-like energies emanating from his fingertips. Just before the master delivers the finishing blow, the son, writhing in pain, appeals to his father, who rushes in and defeats his master, suffering fatal wounds in the process.

As he lies dying in his son's arms, the traitor, now redeemed, has his mask removed by his son, exchanges some heartfelt words and departs to join the spirits of those he betrayed so long ago, who have returned to witness his redemption.


The story of Star Wars, or Gosei Sentai Dairanger Episodes 7-8? :0


Look familiar?


Darth Vader would not have looked out of place in this.


The Glove of Tetsumenpi Chouryou


Flowing cloak


Master Kaku gets slashed. Note the impassive look. Note also the beard and brown garb.


Ryou writhing in agony


Force Lightning!


But the Emperor can't breathe fire.


An impassioned plea


Ryou cradles his father


Ryou removes his father's mask


The apparitions visit the redeemed traitor


Corresponding screenshots from Star Wars may be found here.

"Every sensible man, every honest man, must hold the Christian sect in horror. But what shall we substitute in it's place? you say. What? A ferocious animal has sucked the blood of my relatives. I tell you to rid yourselves of this beast, and you ask me what you shall put in its place?" - François-Marie Arouet

***

My essay - titularly on 2 essays but actually on nothing (as befits the spirit of close reading) is done, after much angsting and hand-wringing.

To think that the next one will be assigned on Tuesday *swoon*

***

Dropload Frequently Asked Questions

"Dropload supports itself with the single ad on each page and some donations. We have nearly 100,000 registered users today, and grow at a pace of almost 15,000 users a month. As long as our users keep checking out our sponsers and donate if they can, dropload will continue to exist. We provide dropload for free because there was a market for it, and we're nice people who want to make the internet more usable for everyone (or something heh)."

On the other hand, even if visitors don't check out my sponsors, this site will continue to exist. Joy, joy. Though I wonder how I might upgrade this site if I had more support.

***

Jiekai happened to take me and someone to see what people were doing at Jitterbugs Swingapore.

The dancing couples looked quite comfortable with each other; so now we know why he's so enthusiastic about dance.

***

It was the turn of the windows of my house to have their rivets changed, in one of the strange minor, petty and often municipal issues whose power to excite people seems out of proportion to their significance, perhaps because such are the only issues that said people are allowed to channel their energies towards (other examples include the Casino and the role of the Chinese Lanuage in Singapore and the case in China of the national outrage regarding the humiliation caused by 300 Japanese businessmen having an orgy with prostitutes in Zhuhai 2 days before the anniversary of the Manchurian Incident).

And so my mother is spending $10k refurnishing the toilets, kitchen stove and repainting the house. Why, when the old furnishings were perfectly usable and serviceable, I do not know. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Anticipating the resulting difficulties and complications, especially when she boasted of how the fixtures in my toilet were to be more expensive than those in hers, I asked her not to renovate my toilet, but was told that "this is my house".

So now everything looks nicer, but is more fragile, since there is a lot more glass; the cupboards are not waterproof, which means it will be very hard for my father to wash the toilets. There is also less space to store all our toiletries and bath equipment, which besides having been dispersed throughout the whole house, are also now less accessible, kept inside cupboards and behind panels as they are: I was asked to throw away a lot of other things. What space there is, I'm told not to use - a perfectly good glass platform should be left unladen with toiletries, I am told, since otherwise it would have to be cleaned. To boot, we get nagged more about not dirtying the place and taking care not to spoil the furnishings.

This is just like when she throws away clothes of mine that are perfectly useable (and not meant for wearing out) on the grounds that they look old and are 'disgraceful', leaving me with little to wear, and much of it undersized; a lose-lose situation for almost all concerned.


My sister's going to go bonkers when she returns from the UK - they haven't started painting yet, and I don't think they'll be done by the time she comes back, so she'll be awoken in the middle of the morning everyday. Aww.

***

Winning at Wheel of Fortune:

"Frequency distribution of letters in English text
Source: H. Beker and F. Piper, Cipher Systems, Wiley-Interscience, 1982.

A 8.167
B 1.492
C 2.782
D 4.253
E 12.702
F 2.228
G 2.015
H 6.094
I 6.996
J 0.153
K 0.772
L 4.025
M 2.406
N 6.749
O 7.507
P 1.929
Q 0.095
R 5.987
S 6.327
T 9.056
U 2.758
V 0.978
W 2.360
X 0.150
Y 1.974
Z 0.074

Based on the analysis by Beker and Piper, the most commonly occuring letters in the English language are:

E - 12.7%
T - 9.1%
A - 8.2%
O - 7.5%
I - 7.0%
N - 6.7%
S - 6.3%
H - 6.1%
R - 6.0%
D - 4.3%
C - 2.8%

So the 3 consonants you should choose are: H, D and C. And for the vowel, A.

From what I remember, people like to choose the letters C and D, but rarely H. Ah well.

***

Someone on the 'Li Jiawei' type of hair clip: "please dun use it
no matter how long your hair is
i will be scarred for life
if i see u i will forever change my mind about girls with hair clips"

***

Christian science - "A whole new side of Jesus is cropping up in the field of decision science. A new generation of scholars is taking Jesus to their collective theoretic, strategic bosom. Two recent studies stand out... In a mere 32 pages, Hassner uses game theory to "clarify aspects of the gospel narrative that have puzzled readers for the past 2,000 years". He reminds us that game theory can "explain the rationality of characters' choices. [It can] offer a coherent strategic interpretation of the work examined or compare the relative plausibility of existing interpretations.""

Sheep dash reaction test - I scored an average of 0.2882, a "bobbing bobcat" (middle category of 5)

New Zealand Fungus Gnat - Arachnocampa luminosa - "New Zealand fungus gnat larvae are ingenious hunters. Suspended from their tubes are several dozen "fishing lines" made of silk and covered with globules of sticky mucous. When night comes and the larva begins to glow, various insects that are attracted to the light and fly near get caught in the sticky mucous of the fishing lines. Vibrations are sent up the line and sensed by the larva, which then begins to reel in its catch by swallowing the line. At the same time, certain chemicals within the mucous begins to paralyse the prey so that it doesn't try to break free, or get ensnared in other lines or damage the one its on. When the prey has been reeled up, the larva bites it, kills it, and then either sucks out its juices or eats the entire thing."

***


Quotes:

I see that everyone is falling asleep. You shouldn't be, otherwise you'll be falling asleep for 2 more years, in econometrics.

The mean is BLUE [Ed: Best Linear Unbiased Estimator]. This is very consoling, very reassuring. You can sleep soundly tonight.

99.9 percent of the population in Singapore, maybe less in other countries, is statistically illiterate. All of you are better than them. By the end of this course you will all be statistically literate, and I'll be so proud of you.

If your census left out someone living undergroun, or living in the jungles of Bukit Timah...

I just mentioned 'after the break' and suddenly everyone got so excited. I haven't finished!

If someone puts a confidence interval on the front page of the Straits Times, you'll get a whole lot of letters asking: What is this guy talking about?... You will see them in the Economist, but that's no surprise because it is the very best magazine in the world, at least according to me. If you read only one magazine, read the Economist. It has the best political analysis, it has the best economics analysis, even the level of English is the best.

[On the 'Confidence Trick' for Confidence Intervals] Whether or not it's trickery, you'll have to do it for exams.

[On the 'Confidence Trick' for Confidence Intervals] Make sure you don't think too much about it. These things - you can go insane. Or you can go to the philosophy department, which is a better alternative.

Shore dinger's cat (Schrodinger's)

The veil might burst or the veil might not burst (vial)

That's why you never see confidence intervals in the newspapers. I tried it once personally, in the Business Times, and it backfired very badly on me... At the presentation, I explained like I am explaining to you now. All the journalists sat at the back. The next day, it came out in the newspapers. They completely misinterpreted what I said. The next day, all the letters came in. 'What is this guy talking about?'... That's why I don't talk to anyone about confidence intervals. I only talk to you about confidence intervals.

I'm going to tell you a story about the t distribution... Why are you moaning? People complain it's too boring, so I try to liven it up with stories, but you all don't like it... for module feedback you can complain about it. Then next semester I'll change strategy again. No more 'Lady Tasting Tea', no more stories, no more pictures of Fisher. I'll put in a lot of mathematical formulas. So you will kill your juniors.

[On Student's t distribution and yeast in Guiness Stout] The Guiness Stout you are drinking is so good because of Gosset and Poisson *laughs from audience*

[On punchcard computing] Every 25 years the alumni office will have a dinner... For my year they sent us a punchcard as the invitation card, to remind us of those days.

It was a really nice, real written article. You should read it before you go to bed. (real?)

[On Windows] I don't know if it's a superior product, but it works for me. [Professor: Because you're locked into it.]

[On computer upgrades] They will send in a team to migrate my computer from here to there, and everytime they migrate something will get lost.

My kids went on my computer in my office and they changed everything. They changed it to Mozilla... It fouled up everything... these kids of mine, they fouled up everything... She changed the configuration.

We shall talk about Paul Krugman next time in our lecture because he has not very flattering things to say about Singapore.

It might be worst (worse)

Have you re'wound your tape? (rewound)

mer'new'pew'lated (manipulated)

[On half hearted experiments on competitive markets in Singapore] Just a bit and they cry to the government. Because they are a government-linked company they cannot lose money... 'Ok, we've tried already, it's failed'

[On reading week] We're not revising, we're learning new things.

What's reading week like for you guys? We don't have reading week in the States... Do you sit under a tree and read a novel?

[On a reading] I thought it was very hard when I first read this book. I sat down with 4 University Professors and took a year to finish the book, and we still weren't sure what *** was saying. I wrote to *** *** and he came down from San Francisco and spent 2 nights going through the book with us. So of course I'm going to assign it to you in your first year of college.

The hats of birds and mammals (heads)

Here we have a grammatical error. The next sentence is not a sentence. Why is it not a sentence? Come on, this is elementary grammar school stuff.

'I often hear' is not the kind of sentence I want you to use in your essays. *** *** can do that because he has 55 pages of references... you can't do that.

[He talks about] 'truncated and degenerate' [languages], and he gives an example of a truncated and degenerate sentence. I don't think he did that on purpose. If he did, he's brilliant, but I'm not willing to concede him that.

[On a video clip] There's no sound in this clip because the narration was really goofy and the music was [annoying, so I removed it]

Graph is very powerful. I don't know why you hate to use that. (Graphs are, them)

[On a student answering another student's question] Ok thanks. You saved my life.

"'The best couturiers, hairdressers, home designers and cooks are men. I suspect that, were it biologically possible, men would make better mothers.’" - Ida Alexa Ross Wylie, ‘The Little Woman’ 1945.

***

Someone on my hair angsting: "maybe your hair is in good condition then:D
maybe it's just like the supermodels who think they are too fat
and pretty actresses who think they are too ugly"

Someone else on a snide remark I made about a quote on someone's file: "close reading is getting many creative interpretations from u"

Information from a source on [at least the old] SAJC: "the only good thing about Chapel was having cute councillors up on stage. Speaking of councillors, do you know that all SAJC councillors have to be "confirmed" at St. Andrew's cathedral, and so I guess that rules out having non-christian councillors. Head of the student council had to be an Anglician, though there was this year the Head was a SJI (hence catholic) boy."
Isn't that illegal? Religious discrimination...

***

Apparently we now have Halal hairdye. Oh well, I suppose after Halal ice I shouldn't be surprised anymore.

***

"Perhaps we can avoid the absurd if we devote ourselves to providing only for the basic needs of everyone. There is a great deal of misery in the world, and many of us could easily spend our lives trying to eradicate it - wiping out starvation, disease and torture.

Such aims do indeed seem to give life a meaning that is hard to question. But while they are certainly worthy and perhaps imperative goals, they cannot eliminate the problem. Granted, one advantage of living in a world as bad as this one is that it offers the opportunity for many activities whose importance can't be questioned. But how could the main point of human life be the elimination of evil? Misery, deprivation, and injustice prevent people from pursuing the positive goods which life is assumed to make possible. If all such goods were pointless and the only thing that really mattered was the elimination of misery, that really would be absurd. The same could be said of the idea that helping others is the only thing that really gives meaning to life. If no one's life has any meaning in itself, how can it acquire meaning through devotion to the meaningless lives of others?"

- The View From Nowhere, Thomas Nagel

***

I went down to what is known (affectionately or otherwise) to many of its students as Boon Lay Polytechnic for a focus group. Interestingly, from the small sample size I obtained, the SACSALs there seem less hiao than in The Premier Institution of Social Engineering, though they are equally annoying. Also the most normal-seeming (ie the most abnormal-seeming, since now it is normal to be abnormal - take the dying of hair, for instance. If you have black hair, you are abnormal) University students I've seen are from the NTU School of Communication and Information (aka Mass Comm). Perhaps, in the isolated environment that is NTU, cut off from the rest of the world, a sub-culture has evolved. Or maybe I need to visit the University of Gymnastics one day to reduce my sampling error so I can apply the Central Limit Theorem (you know I'm becoming loopy when I start making nonsensical statistical references in my writing - blame it on my USP 'Writing' module).

It was also very interesting because I was the only non-NTU Mass Comm student at the table. So since the $10 incentive for going for a focus group apparently comes from the students themselves, it seems that the money just gets recirculated in their closed economy (until outsiders like me come in to siphon some out).

***

Apparently the banner the Muslim society put up at their bazaar, according to someone, said: "TOWARDS A MORE GOD-CONSCIOUS SOCIETY". Bah.

My sister always complains that she sees a lot of ass cracks when she comes to NUS, but somehow I never see them. Maybe it's because I'm not looking out for them.

We saw a video which included a clip of a tiger eating a peacock. Other people seemed quite agitated but I was one of the few who was laughing. Ah well.


Quotes:

[On price fixing] The CEO who proposed it was fined, and promised not to do it again *laughs from audience*

[Me: Question: What do you learn in 'Biodiversity'? He can't answer the question.] Neither can I.

The bad thing is when I talk about sexual selection it's not a very interesting or erotic topic... but we have some videos of animals doing it, to wake you up.

[On the tiffin girl of the day coming in with food for many people] It's like food supply here. I'm also hungry.

[On the Prisoners' Dilemma] If it's only for prison people then it's not that interesting.

[On Vampire Bats overfeeding] Basically they pee out all the serum, and once they have reached critical size or critical weight - [To someone eating salad with faux bacon bits made of soy protein] how's lunch coming along over there? Nothing red [inside], I hope.

Tit for tit (tat)

[On a journal article] When you read the paper, what's the hidden message? To endlessly confuse everybody?

Billy Gates. What has he been doing lately? Besides writing a lot of crappy code.

[Professor: Would you want to call something altruistic that's harmful to you but helps others?] That's just stupid.

[On teaching altruism] No one wants to sit down and talk to a eight year old child and say that you should be good to your neighbor because the benefits outweight the costs... you don't want to start explaining the dictator game and the ultimatum game to young kids.

The more attractive the peacock, the more it gets to pro- [Other student: Mate. Mate. Mate.]

[Student on differences between males and females: Size] Size of what? *laughs from audience*

[On differences between males and females] Hair loss.

Everytime you walk around campus you can see a lot of differences between males and females.

We don't have the time to see the vidoes now. *sounds of dismay* If you can come up with the 2 main factors [affecting sexual selection] within 5 minutes, I'll show you the videos.

Many a times you read the textbook. (time)

You're probably born around this time - 1973. [Student: You're 10 years early] You're born in 1983? I'm a bit dated... I'm ancient.

Singaporeans abrought (abroad)

per chases (purchases)

he sole it to the wholesaler (sold)

My niece works till 11 or 12 [pm] and she gets 6 months' bonus. *gasps* Is that a measure of welfare?

[On family] The Italians - very close knit. The Italian Mafia - very close knit.

[On the CPI] The MTI economies are trying to come up with it, but my colleagues are complaining that their methodology is flawed.

If you are transisting to a knowledge-based economy (transiting)

This is particularly [important] in the United States, which is a welfare state (?! - a welfare state?)

Socrates always frames his questions so they don't have answers.

The reading only do this: spoil my eyes (did)

[On the writing module] This module can kill my 3 other modules

moral lerty (morality)

These are the killers, all the other readings are child's play compared to these... This will get your mind in a taffy, which is not my intention. I know now you think it is: he just wants to mess with our minds.

[On balance] I don't want you to say: therefore everything is equal and there's nothing to say. If you have nothing to say, don't write the essay.

When you write your essays you get lost in abstractions supported by abstractions supported by more abstractions.

[Some guy to some girl] Fuck you. No, I won't fuck you, you're a prude.

[On science girls] Science is full of 'floaters'... They float from place to place. They like to wear extremely baggy clothes. They look as if they are floating around.

[On my not-so-secret hair fantasy] Why don't you just shave your hair and wear a wig?

[Me: Shrill, Anorexic, Chinese-Speaking Ah Lians] Arts is full of them. *gets frosty looks from the 2 Arts girls beside him* Non-USP arts girls.

[Me on science floaters: Their primary prerogative is not to look good] Did you just use the word 'prerogative' when talking to me?... Never mind. I should talk more to you, then I'll become smarter. [Me: I've been told that before. Oh but you may also become more annoying.] You're annoying. [Me: Thank you.]

There's a huge difference between the Faculty of Arts and the Faculty of Science. At 9 o'clock, the Faculty of Science is bustling. At 9 o'clock, the Faculty of Arts is sleepy. [Student: No one's awake].

[Counting students] 3, 6, 9. Looks like I've to get better video clips to get you to attend.

[On sexual selection] There's selection in humans too, but we better not go into that.

Today's going to be a lot of [video] clips [Students: Yay! *laughs*] (Today there's)

[On moorhens] They're scratching like girls

[On paternity testing] 10 to 35 percent of the offspring are not sired by the father. That's in all socities. Not just decadent Western Societies... highest [rate was] in England.

Females tend to fantasise about other males at the time of ovulation... At the time of ovulation they prefer males with more angular features. When they are not ovulating, they prefer males with more feminine features.

Lung term partnership (long)

[On diopsids - flies, which he likes] I have to show at least some fly videos

[On mate choice in humans] Male terns: Instead of fish you give diamonds. [Professor: Not very healthy to eat] (Male terns give fish, humans)

[On female and male mate choice in humans] I personally think it's genetically determined... but most of you think it's a social construct.

Males with symmetrical ears run faster than males with asymmetrical ears. No, it's not because of aerodynamics.

[On beauty vs wealth in determining male attractiveness] Ugly but fabulously wealthy - can work. Just look at Donald Trump.

[On babies liking symmetrical female faces] Horny baby.

[Someone with only one earring in one ear on symmetrical faces] Now I know why babies like me. [Me: Then you should put one earring in each ear - symmetrical]

When you're invited to a party you only talk to certain people. You don't talk to the others. [Student: Like him - {he's} laughing.] Let's be realistic here.

Copulation in many animals is not a very big affiar. Swallows - they fly around. *claps hands* That was it.

It's a weird discman. It works better when spoilt.

The British are very statistical people... They have statistics in their blood.

[On Karl Pearson] He wrote so much that people during his time dind't know what he wrote.

I'll read you a short grandfather story... Listen, listen: this is the only time I'm gonna read a grandfather story in this course.

Have you been to the sixth storey of the Economics department? It is the only department in this faculty with photos of economists... after the lecture please make a beeline there (Why would the sociology department have photos of economists?!)

This is like throwing a dard at a board (dart)

[On an unbiased estimator] This could be a dart thrower who is really cock-eyed, or something like that.

"I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents." - Sir Winston Churchill

***

From what I read, there is a concerted campaign to spread FUD about homosexuals and AIDS in Singapore.

No doubt, this is to acquire political capital to ram the casino through.

***





***

The administration of The Premier Institution of Social Engineering starts screwing people even before matriculation:

"OMG! NUS are such bloody pricks.

i received a letter from them yesterday night [Ed: Saturday night], opened it just now- they want a scholarship app by tues, complete with a principal's report!

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

when this is all over i am going to make a voodoo doll and label it 'NUS' and stick millions of pins in it.

seriously. if they screw over someone who hasn't even started freshman year, you've got something coming."

My suggestion: Go to SMU, and send NUS a letter telling them that

Reply: [A letter] like, "SCREW YOU!"


Perhaps this is so, so that in the future we won't complain so much about governmental inefficiency and indeed may appreciate its efficiency compared to NUS.

Then again my favourite year 4 Law Girl says that compared to Bristol, NUS is relatively efficient: "the sunday before sch term opened, exchange supervisor told me tat i cldnt take 4 outta the 5 moduels i had pre-selected

so which ones COULD i take? she also dunno
hv to wait and see... attend ALL the lessons i were interested in, see if they'll take me...

no such thing as add/drop some more
they dive right into syllabus so i had to miss lessons basically
in the end nothing was relaly "my choice"
did a mix of modules tat were left with available slots/ kind convenors"

And Maid Marian in Nottingham concurs: "if u think the nus admin sux, u hafta see notts. then u'll realise what a dream the nus ppl are
they lost my £2k cheque for hall fees then called me a university debtor"

Must be a UK University affliction.

Meanwhile my NTU friend says they blackmail you: if you owe NTU money, they won't tell you but they'll threaten you when exam results are out, refusing to give you your results unless you pay up.

***

Essay grumbling from someone else: "if only people could be graded according to blog content and style of writing"
If only

And on close reading: "i gotta admit, it does over-complicate matters sometimes, life would be easier without all these, but the whole point abt writing modules is to get you to write well about something even if u dont like it"
Good point. If you can write well about uninteresting rubbish you can write well about anything: "the true test of ability and fortitude is to do something u dont like professionally and well". But then this module is not actually about writing and critical thinking, but rather about close reading

Someone on my description of close reading: "it sounds like practical crit on crack"
Someone should go and close read Rorschach inkblots. Would be very interesting to see the results.

I think if there were genuinely something interesting, useful or significant to write about, I wouldn't mind it so much (if at all if there was a genuine problem or complication to analyse), but the thing is that we have nothing real to write about, and so have to come up with what 'problems' which are, at least to normal people, contrived and nonsensical, to dissect and analyse. Jerry Seinfeld might have come up with an excellent sitcom on "nothing", but writing an essay on nothing is much harder.

Perhaps "homework assignments" (ie essays written on specific, often trite questions) are usually uninteresting (especially when they are the umpteenth esaay you've read on the dangers of Science and Technology, all of which sound the same since the writers just mug the points and vomit them out come essay time), but almost all close reading essays are even worse, since they are about nothing (nothing that normal readers care about anyway).


"it's always in FASS or USP classes that i hear so many fako accents!
dun really get them in bizad much
esp Lit/Eng/Philo/Pol Sci haha"

Hmm. I don't notice that.


Module tips: "To those who cannot afford to do another exposure and have not done any SS module, you can do the SSA module Singapore Society. Sociology of Singapore, cynic's style. Very enjoyable, might I say."

SSA1201

"Module Title: SINGAPORE SOCIETY
Module Description: This module introduces students to critical developments in the development of Singapore as a society and nation-state. It enables students to develop skills in understanding and making sense of Singapore society. It also encourages them to develop alternative interpretations of the development of Singapore society. The topics include: the origins of Singapore, ideology and identity, ethnic relations, industrialization, family, gender, religion, the state and civil society. This is a Singapore Studies module and open to students from all faculties."

Sounds interesting indeed. Then again:

"EXPECTATIONS

3. Preparatory Work

a. For each lecture (readings on average 4 hours per week)

b. For each discussion group (additional 2 hours per week over and above the readings)

4. Assignment (1 major term essay assignment - 6 weeks to complete)"

Hmm.

I'm doing my compulsory propaganda module right now (it is probably the best of the 4 available this semester), but I might do this as an unrestricted elective one day. Unfortunately I only have 5 of them (UEs) to play around with. Ah well.

***

Saw this M$N nick:

"The most amazing healing service ever! Muslims converted, aids patients healed, and my hamster is healed!. Glory to GOD!"

Right.


The one with (the) crab(s) suggests

"why not start a [NUS] community for Wo-Hen? I bet you'll have all the girls and the gay men clamouring to join it!"

That would be the *possibly* gay men, not the gay men per se. But maybe I could find someone like Gavin or Carrot Top.


"apropos" sends along this "humorous article I read which reminds me of you":

You may be a fundamentalist atheist if...

I found parts of it humorous too (for one thing, by definition an atheist cannot be a fundamentalist), but I'm not sure if it was for the same reasons that he did.

***

OB markers for Singapore film-makers

Follow the tale of Martyn See Tong Ming who, on submitting a 26 minute documentary on Chee Soon Juan to the Singapore Film Festival, was told that it was a political film and thus illegal. He was then threatened with legal action unless he withdrew the film from the festival.

Various articles on 'political' films in Singapore and related topics (eg Royston Tan's being interrogated by police) are attached.


You break the rules, we break your heads, says MM Lee

"I can assure you that in Singapore, when we decide that they are breaking the rules of the game, the unspoken rules as to how we survive, how we have prospered, then either their head is broken or our bones are broken."

- Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew issuing warning to SIA pilots at the World Brand Forum, CNA, Dec 2, 2003

***

Anal Sex According to the Word of God, Oral Sex According to the Word of God

"The Benefits of Swallowing - Drink of the Living Water

Aside from swallowing semen as a measure to prevent the waste and spillage of seed, ingesting ejaculate can have spiritual benefits, as we will see. Although the Old Testament makes reference to the bitterness of semen (And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water. [Numbers 5:24]), the New Testament casts the act of consuming ejaculate in a much more affirming light, as in the following passage, where Jesus speaks to the woman of Samaria about the gift of “living water”:

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." 11 The woman said to him, "Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?...15 The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water." 16 Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come back." (John 4:10-16)

“Living water” in this context refers to semen, which literally is the liquid of life. As Christ indicates, drinking of the “living water” provides a spiritual replenishment for the soul. When the woman asks Jesus where she can get this “water”, he tells her to fetch her husband, clearly with the intention of instructing her on how to fellate him and swallow his semen."


This is both hilarious and instructive, since anyone looking at the text with an open mind would see that their interpretations are at least as correct as commonly accepted ones (if not more so, in some places).

***

Stupid Vending Machine Flash - KPMG interns are too free...

I have found the NUS Temasek Hall Online Social Club - Lut's Haloscan comments thread!

TimeCopy 1.4 - "Timecopy will copy the time, date, timezone, and daylight saving information from your desktop PC to you PalmOS device at each hotsync. Palm clocks are known to drift a little (about 1 second per day), and this way, you don't need to worry about that anymore."
Better than SyncTime, and free too!

Ban Steven Lim from appearing on Singapore Television Petition - "This petition is to be send to Mediacorp to ban Steven Lim from appearing on tv. In case you do not know who he is, check out his site at stevenlim.net . (but warned: just make a brief short visit) What is the intention of banning him? Simple. He is a shame of all Singaporean, and an attention whore."

tower of babel in singapore - "city harvest church, the giant mother of a building in jurong, cost a whopping 47.6 MILLION DOLLARS to build. as they proudly proclaim on their website, the money took the church 4 years to raise, with only 45% of their congregation working. the rest are basically housewives, retirees and kids. WHAT THE FUCK?!!! to add insult to injury, they're bragging about the type of titanium cladding that frames the outside of the building, as its being the first and only in southeast asia. the other building with this sort of titanium facade in the world, is the Guggenheim. yes. the fucking Guggenheim museum. they're also going on about their having the first Broquard fountain in SEA as well. of course Jaques Broquard is the best fountainmaker in the world. and you'll see this fountain, in their impressive opening flash intro at their website, fondly termed 'The Gates of Heaven'. right. so we should go drown ourselves there after having donated all our money to them so they can pay off their Phillip Starck bathrooms huh? yup. you heard me. a church having toilets by phillip starck."
Ah well. If people want to buy Magic Stones, they should be allowed to do so (if there is freedom of information, of course).

Rape as a Capital Crime - "But, if rape was punishable as a capital crime, then you have the unique situation where a rapist realizes that is in his best interest to murder the victim. What are the benefits of leaving the victim alive? Nothing that I can think of, except for whatever utility the rapist gets from withholding murder (which since he just raped the victim, I'm assuming that the rapist is not altruistic, and therefore this won't apply). But the costs of not murdering are high - there is a witness to his crime. So murdering actually becomes the better strategy if rape is punished as a capital crime, since in so doing, it increases the rapist's chances of survival."


Do Democratic Transitions Produce Bad Economic Outcomes?

"Several influential commentators have suggested recently that democratization in developing countries produces political instability, ethnic conflict, and poor economic outcomes... These authors buttress their claims with examples of democratic reforms that led to economic chaos and eventually a collapse back into autocracy. Such anecdotal evidence can be problematic from two perspectives. First, it is not clear how universal the pattern is. Perhaps the vast majority of other countries have had more successful transitions. For example, we rarely hear in these accounts about Mauritius and Botswana, two long term African success stories that also happen to be democratic countries. Second, these anecdotal accounts leave the counterfactual unspecified. Perhaps countries would have been even worse off in the absence of democratic transitions.

Does social science back up the pundits’ claims? We show in this paper that the data do not support the view that democratization is bad for economic performance. Our analysis reveals that major democratic transitions have, if anything, a positive effect on economic growth in the short run. Contrary to the claims of Kaplan, Zakaria, and Chau, this is especially true for the poorest countries of the world and those that are marked by sharp ethnic divisions. Democratization tends to follow periods of low growth rather than precede them. Moreover, democratic transitions are associated with a decline in growth volatility. Systematic analysis therefore uncovers a picture that is considerably more favorable to democratization."

***


Quotes:

The level 200 [modules] noticeboard (2000)

I majored in Philosophy in my undergraduate days. Philosophy and Economics. They offered me honours in Philosophy and Economics. I chose Economics, which I think is a mistake, in retrospect (or)

[On picking random people from the phonebook not being a random sample of the population of Singapore] Some people don't have phones, you know. Either because they are too poor or because they have 10 handphones already. Can you imagine, 10 phones ringing at the same time?

This is where we move from Philosophy to Statistics. Philosophy is about how to move from the specific to the general... [Philosophy is] Very fun at night with the beer and such, but this is 2 o'clock.

The Moe'zart of mathematics (Mozart)

X bar will converse to μ (converge)

[On talking about convergence in probability] Textbooks don't put this in because then no one would want to buy them. But you must take this course as a pre-requisite, so I can afford to put this in.

[On the chi-square distribution] I have a Greek friend who did a PhD in mathematics. He said it's supposed to be pronounced as 'kee'. But I can't get used to it, so I'm pronouncing it as 'kai'. Most people, even in the US, pronounce it as 'kai'.

[From the person setting the exam] I don't know how much of what I teach you will come out in the exam.

We all wonder why NTUC got the 42,000 square foot compound in Marine Parade, which we all know is a PAP heartground. (stronghold)

[On provision shop owners being crowded out by NTUC] Another option you might not agree with is to turn their outlet into a Cheers. (outlets, Cheers)

[On Sheng Shiong surviving] Mr No Frills... he lives in a warehouse in Marsling. He stays upstairs. He says it saves money because at night he can watch over his stocks... he still drives his lorry.

[On NTUC] If they get out, who will get in? Cold Storage is owned by a Hong Kong group. They have a social mission. *laughs of derision from audience*

The Japanese never let you earn their money. They arrive - Nippon Airways, ANA. A Japanese bus will take them to the hotel - ANA or Daichi. They eat at Japanese restaurants, shop at Japanese outlets. They shop at duty free, then they go home... the Japanese are very insular.

NTUC... they are into everything. Even funerals.

We can talk until the cow comes home (cows come)

Have you been to a hypermarket? Err, I refuse to go in. I'm lost inside. Don't know what to buy.

[Student: I heard there are families that hangs out in Carrefour.] Singapore - we are so pathetic. We have no place to go... Go and shop, let your children frolic. Then you go home - tuition for the next day.

Statistics are like bikinis, what they reveal is interesting, but what they conceal is even more fascinating (written)

Tool park (toolpak)

Data anna'lie'sis (analysis)

The standard deviation should be calculated for the means of means. Just watch out for my grammar. (mean of the)

[On dragging in Excel] Ok. A little more... Ok, you made it.

I used the ver'rai'ance (variance)

[On the computer] Hopefully it is not hanged (has, hung)

[On dexterity in Excel] I do that a lot, but you can do it at home, to practise.

Let me just briefly summarise what we have did (done)

Lighter'rary digest (Literary)

The variance will shrunk (shrink)

[To me] Maybe I should do a photojournal. The pleasures of your body.