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Meesa gonna kill you!

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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today

This is a famous passage which I first heard this in the form of a WAV file with the first movement of Spring from Vivaldi's The Four Seasons in Secondary One (in 1996):



As 13 year olds, we understandably found it funny, but listening to this still brings a smile to my face - and not just due to nostalgia.

Today, someone sent me a variant: a comedy clip with a bearded Indian man reciting a similar script (slower, with poorer delivery and with annoying laughter in the background):


(this is almost twice as long in length)

I did some research and this comes from a longer sketch where the chap is talking about how "Fuck" has replaced "God" as the most important word in the English language, thanks to Nietzsche:



The video information dates the original sketch to 1980:

"Osho used this sketch on the word fuck first in a talk in 1980 and repeated it again in this later talk. We have seen the original of this sketch being attributed to Jack Wagner, George Carlin and Monty Python - no one seems to be sure.


"When Friedrich Nietzsche declared, "God is dead," he himself became utterly helpless no consolation, no hope, no meaning. He had to go through a long process of insanity.

Nietzsche seems to me to be the most important figure that has dominated the world in this century. Without any argument his statement has infiltrated into every mind. But he was not aware of the implications. I have no problem if God is dead. There is no need to mourn his death.

The problem is that if God is dead, then you lose the most important word in your language and you will need a substitute. God was one end, one extreme, and when one extreme disappears from your mental vision, the necessary and inevitable is that you will fall to the other extreme.

And that's what has happened, Milarepa. Instead of God, `fuck' has become the most important word in our language. Even if Friedrich Nietzsche comes back, he will be surprised and he will try to resurrect somehow the dead God, because this is stupid. But you will need a whole report on it, a whole research.

One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word `fuck'. It is a magical word. Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive, "John fucked Mary," and intransitive, "Mary was fucked by John", and as a noun, "Mary is a fine fuck." It can be used as an adjective, "Mary is fucking beautiful."

As you can see, there are not many words with the versatility of fuck. Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:

Ignorance: Fucked if I know.
Trouble: I guess I am fucked now!
Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.
Aggression: Fuck you!
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job.
Incompetence: He is a fuck-off.
Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?
Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.
Request: Get the fuck out of here.
Hostility: I'm going to knock your fucking head off.
Greeting: How the fuck are you?
Apathy: Who gives a fuck?
Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.
Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!
Anxiety: Today is really fucked.

And it is very healthy if every morning you do it as a transcendental meditation just when you get up, first thing, repeat the mantra "fuck you" five times; it clears your throat too!"


Who Osho was, I didn't know. The only candidate was Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, né Chandra Mohan Jain, aka Acharya Rajneesh.

I was quite skeptical given that Wikipedia positions him as a mystic/guru rather than a comedian, but it does mention his "comedic talent", and photos match up.


A slightly modified version turns up on UseNet, dated September 1984:

"It seems there is some interest in the word 'fuck', I haven't been around the NET for some time now (having changed jobs), but have started reading it lately, and thought I'd submit the following item. As Tom Cruise put it in Risky Business, once in a while you just have to say "What the fuck!"

IMPROVE YOUR SPEACH - FUCK YOU

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "FUCK". It is one of those magical words that, just by the sound, can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. "FUCK", as most words in the English language, takes its name from the German word "friden" which means to strike.

In language, "FUCK" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both intransitive (Mary was fucked by John) and transitive (John fucked Mary). As an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John) and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is a fucking beautiful girl). As you can see, there are not many words with the versatility of "FUCK".

Besides the sexual meaning, there are the following uses:

Fraud.....................I got fucked at the used car lot.
Dismay....................Oh, fuck it!
Trouble...................I guess I'm fucked now.
Agression.................Fuck you!
Difficulty................I can't understand this fucking job.
Displeasure...............What the fuck is going on here?
Incompetence..............He is a "fuck-off".
Ignorance.................Fuck if I know.
Apathy....................Who gives a fuck?
Disdain...................The fuck you can.


I know you can think of many more uses. But, with all these uses how can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"?

We can use this word more often in our daily speach. It adds to our prestige.

Say LOUD and CLEAR:............."FUCK YOU".


Since none of the other stuff was rotated, I didn't rotate this...Enjoy."


Of course, the best version is the classic with Spring:

"Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today, is the word fuck. Out of all the English words that begin with the letter 'f' ...fuck is the only word referred to as 'the f word... It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the English language is derived from German ...the word fuieken, which means to strike.

In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for instance.. John fucked Shirley.
As an intransitive verb... Shirley fucks.

Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as...

An adjective such as... John's doing all the fucking work.
As part of an adverb... Shirley talks too fucking much.
As an adverb enhancing an adjective... Shirley is fucking beautiful.
As a noun... I don't give a fuck.
As part of a word... absofuckinglutely -or- infuckingcredible.
And as almost every word in a sentence... Fuck the fucking fuckers.

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck...such as these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.
Dismay: ahhh fuck it.
Trouble: I guess I'm really fucked now.
Aggression: Don't fuck with me buddy.
Difficulty: I don't understand this fucking question.
Inquiry: Who the fuck was that?
Dissatisfaction: I don't like what the fuck is going on here.
Incompetence: He's a fuck-off.
Dismissal: Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself...

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.

With all these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word. We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.

It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly and proudly: FUCK YOU!"
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