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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something." - Wilson Mizner

***

On putting down the Moro (Filipino Muslim) Rebellion:

"It was well known that the Sultan of Jolo instigated many of the Juramentado attacks, but there was no way to prove it and he always denied it, claiming the fanatics went insane and he had no control over them. He lived in a palace some distance from the town, and finally Admiral Hemphill sent a gunboat to shell the palace. The furious sultan arrived the next day to protest this unwonted attack. The admiral listened to his tirade and then explained that he was very sorry but he had no control over the gunboat; it had gone Juramentado. The sultan got the idea and from then on the Juramentado attacks were greatly reduced.

What finally stopped the Juramentados was the custom of wrapping the dead man in a pig's skin and stuffing his mouth with pork. As the pig was an unclean animal, this was considered unspeakable defilement.

An English Army officer I met had another suggestion. "After the Sepoy Mutiny, we finally hit on the perfect punishment for anyone who had commited atrocities on British women and children," he told me. "We used to bind them to the muzzles of the field guns and then fire the guns. Moslems believe in the literal resurrection of the body. A man who has been hit by a 3-inch shell will look like it for all eternity." I suggested this must have been rather sloppy. The Englishman smiled condescendingly. "After you Yanks have had some more experience in handling native peoples, you'll get over these scruples."

--- The old Navy / Daniel Pratt Mannix
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