someone: one of hte prc girls in my old house, who used to entertain us by making lots of noise during sex, can't see a long term future with her bf
­becoz he doesnt want to be an inestment banker


Someone: i have just created a spreadsheet to decide which lover i should choose by end august
i think it's about the most frivolous thing i've ever done.. a pivot chart
and i'm not lying

the variables are: date, time at which they call (7am, 11am etc), number of emails received, duration of calls, interest in subject, subject's bullshit/pure sex factor
calls, texts, interest.. they all have numeric value which can be used. since i can't decide anyway. i wish i could. sucks

i figured i needed to chart it all. and my own interest. i need to give it all a rating

Me: so how is it looking

Someone: tedious
i'm gonna just rate it on a daily basis

my interest, their interest, call duration, b/s factor, rating of whether i'd like to see them again

i work with fucking spreadsheets all day, i realise, fuck it, why don't i do a pivot table of the candidates i'm seeing and see who have spent more times ringing me or texting me or emailing or time spent talking or generall rating of b/s factor

at the end of the month i total up b/s regularity
the higher the b/s, off the person goes.

see, that's the problem with reality.. one day someone pisses us off and we get rid of them.. the next day, they b/s and say sorry and you forget what an asshole they had been and the slate's wiped clean. a chart is all for the better. although to be more accurate over time.. i shall try and put into account the time-degeneration value

i love pivot tables
and i love statistics


Someone else: office ....... tsk tsk
office it takes 15-30 seconds to respond each time i click on a link in my email
like "next"

it's the ultimate in productivity increasing software
you don't block mail sites
you just make everything really slow.


Someone: dude i am totally normal.
i don't actually squeal i just... hit people really hard.

Me: wth
I warn you
I have no compunctions about hitting back

Someone: i'm sure you have a conscience

Me: what's wrong with hitting back
I do not hew to archaic norms of proper behavior

Someone: you're certainly hew to archaic norms of proper english expressions
archaic sounds so ancient
hitting a girl is ungentlemanly
especially if she's me

Me: a girl hitting a guy is un-ladylike
especially if he's me

Someone: unfortunately i'm not ladylike

Me: I'm not gentlemanly either
so we go well together
like frites and frietsaus

Someone: no actually it's more like a bitch and a bigger bitch.
i think you should be gentlemanly.

Me: shouldn't you be ladylike?

Someone: um. no. coz i'm 18 i have like 3 years to fool around before i should be ladylike.

Me: bah
you'll be in uni then
so if you want a sincere guy you need to pretend to be a simple girl

Someone: the solution is to get a submissive guy


Someone else: i pretend to sound intelligent but i'm not good with details
­then again that's like half of law school
­
Me: that's why you have open book exams right


cherub: ehm, u know that day i was, er.. thinking about you...

(that sounds gay...)

and I realise that if I am a judge and I want to punish u with community service, I will order you to live a week with a, ahem, muslim woman who is a staunch PAP supporter.

Whooo... that would be so interesting.

Me: Die lah, I hate chili some more.


JB: you blog too much. if you blogged half as much as you did, I'd have finished reading all your posts by now but the task is too daunting. honestly...

Me: can you believe people tell me to blog more every now and then?!