Yeah, baby, yeah!

... Geraldine let Kenneth throw away my present. Bah. I'm not buying her anything next time!

Acronym of the day: NSIFU - National Service Is F-ing U!

Things you learn:

John Philip Thompson, former chairman and CEO of The Southland Corporation, now 7-Eleven, Inc., died Jan. 28, 2003, at age 77 of brain cancer... During his tenure, the company introduced the Slurpee, launching the frozen carbonated beverage (FCB) category in 1967. Fresh-brewed coffee-to-go was first offered in 1964, and the Big Gulp soft drink was launched in 1980.

7-Eleven was originally named for its operating hours: 7:00 am to 11:00 pm.

Short notes before nipping off to meet The Great One at Westmall:

Just finished The Shadow of a Shadow of a Dream by Catherine Lim today. Interestingly, it was first published in 1987, and republished in 1999 - the same year after she won the "1999 South East Asia Write (sic) Award".

Catherine Lim is perhaps the most touted of local writers, but "Local Flavour" isn't really much of a draw for me and I am not all that fond of her style. It is rather readable, but not overly exciting ; I did not get the "one more page syndrome" while reading this book. Perhaps that is the point, though - to convey images in an understated way. Many of the stories don't end satisfactorily or conclusively, and there is something missing ; the reader is left hanging. Perhaps that, again, is the point.

There are subtle anti-government jibes here and there, and the SDU and the "problem" of graduate women not marrying is mocked. The sardonic way government officials spokesmen are quoted and what they say is really amusing. Heh heh.

Also read: Iron Man, by Neivelle Tan. A rather typical story of redemption.


The Pizza at Pastamania isn't very good. I think I have a new rule about Pizza places: If I can finish a pizza from there, odds are that it isn't good.

Mysteries of life: Whose English is worse? Fann Wong or Jackie Chan? (Re: Today's viewing of Shanghai Knights, during which, iirc, not a single handphone sounded! Except for Jackie Chan's during the bloopers segment.)

Life as an instructor on the Island of Doom (Pulau Tekong - Obedience School) is pretty good! You get:

- A 3 week instructor preparatory course. Off every night, nothing but lectures, lan gaming andn soccer in the afternoons
- Yes. Lan Gaming. In the Instructor's Mess. They've got Warcraft, Ghost Recon, CS etc. And it's unlimited play
- Non-duty instructors can stay out (might vary from company to company)
- You get 1 to 3 days off a week

No wonder I never saw my instructors...


Why we need Chinese, according to a Minister's son:

To talk to taxi drivers, shop keepers, hawkers and if you get married to someone whose parents speak Chinese


Corrected link: How to insult, swear and curse in 67 languages


It seems I've a fanclub, of sorts:

"hey. i. went. to. your. homepage. and. i. love. it. so. much. i. have. shivers. brr. rrr. rrh. But after 1/2 hour in there (WHAT?! I only have 6 days of freedom!!) i suddenly panicked and left. What's going on?! Are you Tim AND Gabriel? Why do you share the same blog? If Agagooga is Gabriel and the Associate is Tim, doesn't that make me a confused reader? (yes it does) So is Balderdash a joint effort by Tim and Gabriel to overrun the internet? Or is it a covert operation by the AlQaeda to discredit all the English speaking peoples of the world? One suggestion: display a website directory tree that will help your readers orientate themselves so they won't fall off their chairs and sanities. OR just take the damned site down (no chance of that i bet). It distresses average denizens of the web like me.

Anyway, from what I gathered during my random lunges and gropes during the 1/2 hour i spent *there* we have a lot in common. Tim (perhaps just one of the many mainfestations of deity agagooga, or the Associate. or Osama) likes gamebooks, is catholic, and came from tc(cat)hs. JUST LIKE ME! Gabriel... well he thinks the world of himself. and I think a world of gabriels would be a mighty fine thing indeed. for dying painfully in.

Amazing how much effort it took to write that last paragraph. I had a few ideas going on in my head but it came out like burning demon from a human cervix. IE it hurt. Writing is an awfully painful thing if people are watching. Watching to see if you fall down painfully on your face with a grammatical error or a word speld incorekly. Anyway. I think that anyway is a good word for pulling yourself out from an embarassing loss of focus in a conversation. So... ANY-WAY.

I'm sure I had something worthy to write about but I lost it. Perhaps I just wanted to convey excitement about finding personalities that were cloned from mine on the web. Yes. Tim and Gabriel were cloned from my genes. They are also a year older than me. PS I love Lonewolf. but I only have 5 books. I like the whole Stornlands idea, a fertile plain torn apart by relentless civil wars and petty ambition and crawling with humanoids and talking rats. In fact, I think that the whole Stornlands thing is very similar to "the Empire" in Gamesworkshop's own universe. I think they just copied each other back in the 70s and 80s. If you understood what I was talking about then we must be soul mates. Or twins separated at birth. Stab yourself now and I'll post if i feel pain.

Anyway.

why was I even typing this. anyway.

*hello whats your name I actually have to time to talk gtg.*

Oh yeah. I'm sorry to hear you went to RJC. The whole Raffles thing sucks doesn't it. The name of the school itself inspires images of girlie guides selling ticket-things. Me? I'm from High Class JC, just like the owner of this board, so don't try to retaliate with a post with more wit and subtle malice aimed at my school and discreetly glorifying yours. I HATE RJ. DIE!!!!"

And someone else:

"Cuz seriously, everybody knows that the JC to be in is ACJC. Naha.

And agagooga's obsession with RGS scares me quite a bit. That girl's picture with the eyes blanked out with the black rectangle? I knew her. We were in the same CCA.

And frankly, someone who has that much time to actually scan in the whole damn RGS yearbook has got to have quite a sad life.

That being said, the rest of the site is actually rather entertaining."

1. Why do you blog?
I try to record the ephemeral threads of my life (those not too private for my diary), some to share with friends who visit and some just for fun, so I can look back years later and laugh (or grimace). Mostly, it's because I'm bored lah.


2. What do you blog about? Why?
Anything and everything. Life, the Universe and Everything (the third best of the quintet, really). Cliched, but true. Anything that catches my fancy or piques my interest.


3. Who is your primary blogging audience? Why?
Friends. And people who search for "zaogeng" or "nude mgs girls" :P


4. What is your blogging philosophy? Why?
Anything goes. Let loose. Join in the fun or be dazed by the inanity of it all. I'm already in enough trouble, so this makes little difference :)


5. Have you ever stopped blogging or considered ending your blog? Why? What happened?
Oh lotsa times. Things I write were misinterpreted or used against me, contrary to the spirit in which they were written *shrug* Been there, done that. I will survive. Tralala.

Bishops seek saint for Internet

The Home Despot - Shop. Destroy. Rule.




Eeeek! A scene besting the most horrific of those found in any horror movie.

[I'm told this is from the last RGS nite when she sang "Phantom"]

Haha

Pictures of Yechao at the "8 Mile Rap Battle":

http://www.verveparade.com/8mile.htm

I seem to be getting very few comments nowadays. I guess the novelty of my ranting finally wore off on everyone :)


More referrals because I don't watch TV:

anatomically correct females for Morrowind - How rare. Someone wants to depart from the stereotypes

fbt wah - They're so short they make you go "wah" because you can see the curves of people's butts.

Bad boys from Temasek Secondary - Nasty.

wipe out of cd pirates in Malaysian - Good lucky. They're all in cahoots with the police, you know.

jobs for the bored medic - Hahaha. Try IVing yourself. Or using alcohol pre-injection swabs to clean the floor. You can even use Printol to kill rats, like I did. The possibilities are endless.

Planescape: Torment dialogue transcript - Try http://torment.db-forge.com/unovel/html/

"army singlet" - I still haven't gotten down to writing "sucks" below "Army" on one of mine

Modern Artillery Calculations in Excel - Sophisticated, they are nowadays.

singapore mrt nuclear bunker - A secret use for them eh. Can't let this get out!

producing popiah skin singapore - ???

sketches of 5bx exercises - Ah, the day is coming soon when Google reindexes my blog and searches for army terms won't turn up this page anymore. Oh well.

chij katong convent - Aren't most branches of the franchise school similar?

KLIA empty losing - Aww. Ma-laysia Boleh!

pantyhose tudung - ??? Don't they use scarfs?

pyrex dildo - Erm.

natalie+morris singapore - She's so famous. I still remember her tapdancing at RGS Nite 2000.

"naked NSmen" - Why would ANYONE want to search for this? Just when I thought the human race couldn't get any more deprived...

What's wrong with Islam - Ho ho ho. I'm not an Islam hate site, so you won't find unreasoning denunciation here. Relative theology isn't my current interest though, so you'll have better luck elsewhere

MR TOH BAN SHENG - Hahaha. TBS?

"worst school uniform" - Definitely River Valley High School.

"chinese high"elf - wth?!

"muslim toilet habits" - Erm. They don't use toilet paper. They used a pipe.

"rgs yearbook 2002" - Don't have it, never seen it, not going to scan it. Too bad.

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ross.fraser/islam.htm - Interesting, if long. Few would have the stamina and interest to finish it. Even I have taken a few sessions to get to where am I, around 80% down the page.

Interesting material on surrogacy, male dominance and the ramifications of Allah being a male.

"The more a society divests women of social power, the more a surrogate submission seems to transform a potentially powerful man into a powerless virtual woman. Since God is conceived in such societies as male and powerful, and as identifying with men and their power, such a crushing of a man's masculinity seems virtually to be an attack on God. Hence reactions like the hadith "whenever a male mounts another male, the throne of God trembles.""

Now on my cupboard: Printouts of the demotivational posters for Stupidity, Mistakes, Defeat and Procrastination. Yeh!

I put my Pokka Mango Tea in the freezer and after a while it began to taste of Mutton. Argh.

"Chew Huijun. Ontario, Canada" wrote in to the forum on being retained in JC. Apparently she got lots of notice from this, her second letter. It was rather well written, really.

I wonder why, since the RI days, people have liked to touch my stomach. I asked a few of them and some of them claim that it's for "good luck". Bah. Furthermore, from my observations and enquiries, I've found that other fat people don't get their stomachs fondled as much as mine is - indeed, their tums are not molested at all. I wonder if I should be flattered by the attention. In a semi-related issue, it seems much of my company thinks that I am... cute, especially some clerks and drivers. I am rather incredulous at the attention.

The sadistic SMRT people have outdone themselves! This time they played, "The train at Platform A is not for passenger service. Please do not board it. Thank You" (all said in an insincere voice) 4 times, 3 of them without pause. I wouldn't be surprised to hear of cases of "train rage" sometime soon.


The horror that is Chingay is here! In recent years, it has mutated horribly until most parts of it would be unrecognisable to its original organisers. Supposedly, it's meant to be just a street parade, but some of the items included in it are very odd. I still remember 1998, when the Chingay Parade featured Santa Claus on his float, as well as the Disneyfest team.

Bust enhancement ads, promising increased self-confidence and affection from your spouse, continue to crowd the pages of the Straits Times. I wonder if penile enhancement ads are illegal - I never see any!

There was this really freaky trailer which featured a row of old women (at least in their 50s) prancing about in CHIJ uniforms. AHHHH!

Seen on Ripley's Believe It Or Not:
- A couple which keeps 9 pigs at home. I'd like to keep one pig, but nine?
- A guy who can throw playing cards a distance of 210 feet, and threw one into a watermelon, where it was embedded. So Cool's flying cards in A Conman In Tokyo aren't entirely a flight of fancy!

Amusing news:
- Apparently Tung Chee Hwa was told to play Simcity4 to learn how to manage an economy.


After duty, I went back to RJ to have a look.

Very few J4s were there - I saw Paradox and Christopher Lim and one or two others, but that was about all. There were more J3s of course. The baseball caps some of the guys wore look really daft - it draws more attention to their baldness.

The theory of RJ people still holds true. Especially for Raffles Guys. The yearly trend is not being reversed. I shudder to think of the situation in 10 years time.

My RJ bears, courtesy of Screwed Up Girl, are quite nice. They're slightly different from the prototypes that I saw last year, but overall the reproduction of the uniforms is quite faithful. Even the purple colour, though it's been toned down a little.

Probably to "promote racial harmony", there were Indian and Malay dance items too this year. Intriguing, if irrelevant. The Japanese club made an appearance, of course. They finally have a male member!

Crystal informed me that the ban on Hot Socks has been lifted. Hoorah for Ankle Socks. Everyone must be very happy now (including her). And perhaps taking after Killer, she had a band (friendship band?) on one of her ankles. I *must* get down to finding out what those bands are for.

I saw more tudungs. I don't recall seeing any last year.


Quotes:

[Motivational Poster] Coversation means being able to disagree and still continue with the conversation (?)

[To me on RJ] Your legacy is slowly fading

Larder Suction Unit (Laerdal)

[Me: Isn't your name pronounced 'Evan'?] Yah. [Me: So why does everyone call you 'Ivan'?] Can't be helped

[On Asian Prince] He looks like an Indian. [Someone: I think it's the moustache]

[On the name of the new company] P? Pussy.

Why the hell do you need to go to asianprince.com when you have one sitting right here?

[Safety poster] Safety is everyday. It doesn't have a holiday (???)

[Me: Where's BSO? I haven't seen him for a long time] He's on course. [Me: What course is he on?] Intercourse

Gabriel, you're looking more and more like David Liew everyday

Quotes from Timothy:
You used to irritate only 2 classes of people: Teachers and Tim.

[The] Angklung: Malaysia's answer to the handbell... One whole row of people with Mahathir in the centre.

When the French write music about young girls, it sounds very nice

[On where The Associate went] Maybe he's selling prawn mee

I don't have a very good impression of SCGS girls

I asked you a very long time ago. What can change the nature of... No, I didn't ask you that.

[On an email] Gabriel Seah. No subject. Probably a picture of a horse.

I don't celebrate people's birthdays unless they're in August. I make an exception for my girlfriend.

More disturbing books: Planet Earth 2000 AD by Hal Lindsey.

This book is one in a long line of publications authored by a Right Wing Christian Fundamentalist. It is very biased and one sided, and reads like a bible of the Militant Right. Even a cursory browse through the pages would make the browser think that the author was deluded, had a persecution complex, and was an avid conspiracy theorist, justifying his far out predictions with selective and creative interpretation of Biblical text. Several blurbs on the back cover of the book praise the book, but they are not accredited to anyone. Perhaps they are quotes from Hal Linsey himself, praising his book.

The author deals with many issues. Among them is the state of Israel. He views it as the centre of the world and asks how Israel could survive the relentless barrage of Arab attacks besides divine intervention. He neglects to mention that Israel receives a large share of America's foreign aid, indeed it is the largest single recipient, thanks to the efforts of the Jewish lobby, and the disunity among the Arab nations that prevents them from forming a united and cohesive front against Israel.

The book laments the secularisation of the USA when in fact there is much evidence that the reverse is happening. The spirit of the 60s is attributed to demonic inspiration. The campaign against nuclear weapons is alleged to be bankrolled by communists. The Second Coming is proclaimed to be at nigh. I don't know about that, but such has been trumpeted many times before, all to no end.

Demonised are many groups. Among them, Communists, Muslims, Humanists, European integrationists, Liberals, non-fundamentalist Christians, and the left in general. Perhaps the only group free of sin are the Right Wing Fundamentalist Christians. What a coincidence. Satanism is equated with the rise in secularism, relativism, humanism and New Age Philosophies, so maybe in the future all of us will become satanists. With selective examples, the author makes his case that Christians are being persecuted, but he says nothing about how radical Christians are persecuting Muslims, supporters of abortion, multilateralists and more.

People trying to make the world a better place by raising the public's self-esteem and its ability to solve conflict (now how is that an unworthy cause?) are criticised, as are shows of religious tolerance, consisting merely of representatives of different religions gathering peaceably. Somehow, the United Nations is transformed into a World Government, promoting New Age religions. Boutros Boutros-Ghali is proclaimed to be the most powerful man on the planet (in 1996), and the US is 'pliant' to the UN. I believe any casual observer would be able to see that the UN Secretary-General has little power compared to the President of the United States, and if anything, it is the US that bullies the UN by refusing to pay its dues, imposing all sorts of conditions on it, stomping out of UN bodies like a petulant child, manipulating the Security Council and more. Hal Lindsey is upset that US soldiers are placed under foreign commanders in UN operations, but he conveniently neglects to mention how soldiers from other countries were under US command in Korea and the first Gulf War.

Many of Hal Lindsey's far out conspiracy theories are putatively proven and corroborated, not only with selective and creative interpretation of Scripture, but by way of his unnamed "primary intelligence sources", which are constantly referred to but never described in any but the vaguest of terms, and which know of some very unbelievable things, like Rafsanjani's proclaiming that Muslims want to take over the world.

Other conspiracy or far fetched theories:
- The world is moving towards a global government
- The EU is going to become a super-state and the Anti-Christ will head it
- The World Bank forces sterilisation and abortion
- UFOs are demons
- Holding land privately (as opposed to publicly) is good for the environment because it lowers the occurence of deforestation. The effects of logging and clearing the forests for agricultural or industrial use are conveniently ignored. He claims that the Bald Eagle is endangered because it lives on lands protected by the government. I can't believe even he can believe that this argument holds any water.

There are many more lies, half-truths, misleading arguments and distortions in his book, but to tackle all of them would take the whole day. He seems to be turning a religion of Love into one of Hate.

I wonder if he's been eating Magic Mushrooms.

Before I myself get down to slamming his right wing, Christian fundamentalist lies myself:

Hal Lindsey (b. 1929) The Father of Apocalyptic Christian Zionism

"His popularity may also in part, however, have to do with his tendency to revise those predictions in the light of changing world events. So for example The Final Battle (1994) is essentially an unacknowledged rewrite of the 'Late Great Planet Earth' (1970); 'Apocalypse Code' (1997) is a rewrite of 'There's a New World Coming' (1973); and 'Planet Earth 2000 A.D.' (1994, & 1996) are both revisions of 'The 1980's Countdown to Armageddon' (1980). Planet Earth: The Final Chapter (1998) is, the latest version in the 'Planet Earth' series.

A good example of Lindsey's prophetic revisions concerns the future of the United States. In Planet Earth 2000 A.D. Lindsey specifically draws attention to a prophecy made in The Late Great Planet Earth as evidence of his prophetic accuracy. A comparison, however, shows that he has edited out the prediction of communist subversion which did not occur.

Without access to all Lindsey's books one would not necessarily be aware that he has adapted his material to fit the changing world since he rarely acknowledges his sources or uses footnotes. The Introduction to two of his books serves as a good example. Reading Planet Earth 2000 A.D. (1994), one is led to believe this, and not 1980's Countdown to Armageddon (1981), was the long awaited sequel to The Late Great Planet Earth (1970).

Lindsey also makes use of previously published material in his later books. Unattributed paragraphs and sentences from earlier works reappear with regularity. So for example, in two unrelated books, published just a year apart, the same sentences are repeated.

Like a sinking ship, Lindsey portrays a world in which there is no hope or purpose, other than trying to get off as quickly as possible. There is therefore no point in trying to care for the world or getting involved in charitable or humanitarian work. Every human tragedy, be it earthquake, hurricane or war merely adds to the mounting evidence and proves his contention that the end of the world is nigh.

Throughout his books, but increasingly in the latter editions, Lindsey denigrates Arabs generally and Palestinians, in particular. He appears to show little understanding or compassion for their plight. Instead he offers a novel reinterpretation of the events of 1948.

... for thirty years, making detailed predictions about this 'someone', supposedly alive today, Lindsey is still unable to identify the anti-Christ.

Lindsey's particular kind of reading of history, coloured by a literal exegesis of highly selective biblical scriptures, is essentially polarised, dualistic, racist and confrontational. He justifies the continued demonisation of Russia, China, Islam and the Arab nations; he encourages the continued military and economic funding of Israel by the United States; he urges Israelis to resist negotiating land for peace and instead, maintain their apartheid policies, settling and incorporating the Occupied Territories within the State of Israel; and he incites fundamentalist groups committed to destroying the Dome of the Rock and rebuilding the Jewish Temple. In so doing Lindsey identifies unconditionally with the political as well as religious far right both in the United States as well as in Israel. Ironically, as the 'father' of 'armageddon theology' his attempts to defend Israel and to refute anti-Semitism may actually be leading to the very holocaust he abhors but repeatedly predicts."


Hal Lindsey’s Prophetic Jigsaw Puzzle: Five Predictions that Failed!

Hal Lindsey’s books on end-time prophecies are selling by the millions at a rate usually associated with hamburgers. His jigsaw puzzle approach turns Biblical prophecies into a crystal ball through which he predicts with astonishing boldness the precise pattern of events which were supposed to occur by the end of the 1980s - the time when the present history of this world was supposed to end.


Maybe I'll move on to Hindu fundamentalists next!

Something from the XS05A mailing list:

Sing along to the tune of "if you're happy and you know it"

-----

If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank takes back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy, Bomb Iraq.

If the corporate scandals growin', bomb Iraq.
And your ties to them are showin', bomb Iraq.
If the smoking gun ain't smokin' We don't care, and we're not jokin'.
That Saddam will soon be croakin', Bomb Iraq.

Even if we have no allies, bomb Iraq.
From the sand dunes to the valleys, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections;
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.

While the globe is slowly warming, bomb Iraq.
Yay! the clouds of war are storming, bomb Iraq.
If the ozone hole is growing,
Some things we prefer not knowing.
Though our ignorance is showing, Bomb Iraq.

So here's one for dear old daddy, bomb Iraq,
From his favorite little laddy, bomb Iraq.
Saying no would look like treason.
It's the Hussein hunting season.
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.

http://www.skeeterbites.com/

By using local air temperature, precipitation, relative humidity, and drought/soil conditions, we can forecast mosquito activity throughout the U.S. This valuable information will help you limit your exposure to these nasty flying pests. The convenient 3-week forecast is updated weekly and predicts your probability of being bitten.


http://www.googlefight.com/

Enter two search terms and see which one is the most popular (on the Internet at least.)

Testing, testing: 1, 2, 3.









Hmm http://www.pyxz.com/ seems to be the only non-severely-crippled free image hosting site left.

The interface is irritating, though possibly powerful and they rename my files with weird numbers. Its 25 files limit is not bad though.