"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine." - Fran Lebowitz

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Beyond Belief Media launches preemptive strike on Easter - "Copies Of Controversial Documentary Are Hidden In Churches Throughout U.S."
I wonder how this went.

John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory - "Penny Arcade often says neatly what otherwise cannot be said. In general, this link is handed out to people whose behavior is obviously based on the idea that they can say whatever they want to someone because said someone won't come find them and beat the piss out of them."

God Loves Sailors - "God LOVES you as a sailor and offers a wonderful PLAN for your life as an individual. "
!@#$

Ronald McDonald, the secret Hermaphrodite

Trends in loneliness - "The Irish, enjoying new-found wealth and a flood of immigration following more than a century of economic decline, are followed in the misery stakes by residents of Singapore and New Zealand"

Satanism in Pokemon - "Obviously, Ash didn't understand the supernatural powers he had confronted. Neither do most young Pokeman fans today... Strange as it may sound to American ears, demonic possession is no longer confined to distant lands. Today, government schools from coast to coast are teaching students the skills once reserved for the tribal witchdoctor or shaman in distant lands. Children everywhere are learning the pagan formulas for invoking "angelic" or demonic spirits through multicultural education, popular books, movies, and television. It's not surprising that deadly explosions of untamed violence suddenly erupt from "normal" teens across our land... "Another nine-year-boy had stolen money from his mother's purse ($7.00) to buy more cards. When questioned, he confessed and said he had heard the devil urging him to do it. The family quickly gathered in prayer, then saw God's answer. Both the boy and his little sister burned their cards [and] warned their friends."
Damn, I want to send Pikachu to go and zap the guy who wrote this! And the last part sounds like what happened when a girl got pregnant and, when questioned, confessed that she had been impregnated by God. Oh wait...

Chocolates are the latest measure of satisfaction with the NHS - "Bemused staff have been instructed to complete a “chocolate audit” of gifts that they have received from grateful patients — from boxes of Milk Tray and bottles of wine to cards and flowers. Every time a nurse receives a present — a “gesture of gratitude” — they are now required to fill out a form stating what it is, who it is from, and how much it is worth."

Fortune-telling judge couldn't see it coming - "A Philippine judge who claimed he could see into the future and admitted consulting imaginary mystic dwarfs has asked for his job back after being fired by the country's Supreme Court. "They should not have dismissed me for what I believed," Florentino Floro, a trial judge in the capital's Malabon northern suburb, told reporters after filing his appeal."

Let's Subbing Sentai - "That sound is a baby monkey. [Oh] no! Ninjas are here! Hey Hey let's Go! Let's fight. Important things protect my balls... This song is a bit stupid. It doesn't make any sense."

3rd Annual INTSS Sci-Fi Spelling Bee - "Recently I held the 3rd Annual INTSS Sci-fi Spelling Bee at the Beverly Garland Hotel in Studio City, California. I can't believe Darth Vader showed up?!?!"