Couldn't help myself. I know i shouldn't but:

"absolutely women's health @ (an anonymouse organisation) is holding 2 performances of the CONDOM DIALOGUES for young women about sexual health and safe sex.
Join ***** **** (Survivor Schoolyard & Beauty is your Duty) and comedians (snip) to explore through comedy, song, performance and discussion messages about safe sex, how to tackle introducing a condom if the moment arises, when to say yes and when to say no, keeping safe, health and in control and will give us an opportunity to laugh at some of the more awkward moments of having intimate relationships.
The performance will contain some course language and sexual references, therefore suitable for young women 14 years and over. A panel discussion with relevant health professionals will follow. "


One wonders what kind of "course" language will be used.

***

Quote of the Post: "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known." - Walt Disney

***

Blogger News:

Ask your readers to think of three photos they'd like to see posted to your blog. (Things around your house or whatever.) When you have enough requests, post them!

I don't suppose there's anyone so bored as to send in a request.

***

I find out about the latest Japanese fetishes and perversions:


"Zentai is basically cover the entire of your body including legs, toes, body and head. So you look like a mannequin. When you are zentai, normally you must not talk and need to rely on your body expressions. This is already famous in taiwan, germany, US and japan. Normally exhibitions will see some people in zentai to demostrate products or just a display item in show.

Cosplay is doing costumes so that it make you become a character of anime, game or movie characters. Doing cosplay costumes rely a lot of skills. Singapore has a cosplay club, holding competitions like every year. They attend movie promotion ceremony, etc to be in the news headlines with their home-made costumes.

And lastly, kiragumi. A mix of zentai and cosplay. Where the characters are masked, into full lycra overall costume and wear anime, game or movie characters costume. This is the most trendy thing in Japan now. US already has some fans in it.

There are already some zentai fans in singapore."

***

Aha! I've found out what the "S. W. R. D." in S. W. R. D. Bandaranaike stands for: Solomon West Ridgeway Dias.


"Having deliberately chosen to go out of control, Kumaratunga has elected to attempt to distract the electorate by enacting an elaborate drama on stage. Last week in Polonnaruwa, she danced to the cheers of the party faithful, seeking to ridicule Finance Minister K. N. Choksy by mimicking his facial expressions. It is Choksy after all, who is spearheading the cabinet subcommittee's investigation into her vehicle purchases. Inoffensive as always, Choksy laughed off the attack. By choosing to criticise the personal appearance of the finance minister, Kumaratunga is paving the way for similar attacks on her own appearance which, let's face it, is far from fetching. How would Kumaratunga feel if fun were poked at her dysfunctional eye, her evil squint, her bizarre choice of hair dye, the ever widening tyre of flab around her waist, the rapidly expanding expanse of her ample posterior and her duck-like gait? But mark the precedent: when in the run up to the 2000 general election a woman mimicked Kumaratunga, eye-patch and all, she was assaulted and her house vandalised. The police were never to investigate the crime: so much for Kumaratunga's sense of humour."

***

Interesting analysis of me run through the Script / AOLer Translator (just try deciphering this!):


FIRST THNG TAHT COMES 2 MIND IS OMG U HAF SO MUCH TEIM11!1!1!!!!1! WTF OMG WTF LOL

NO!!111! OMG RILLY I WONDER IF U DONT SLEP OR SOMETHNG1!!1!!!! OMG LOL U HAEV TIEM 2 GET CAUGHT UP WIT SO MANY BLOGS WRIET SUCH INT3RESTNG ENTREIS ON UR THAN SYNDICAET IT 2 LJ!!!1!!!1 LOL AND DA THNG IS TAHT U DONT AV3N WRIET ONE-LIENRS!1!1!11 OMG WTF U SEM 2 HAEV R3SEARCH3D EVERY SNGL3 3NTRY B/C WTF I DONT KNOW HOW U READNG BAES IS SO WIED!1!!! OMG SARCASM WORKS WIT ME AND I QUIET LIEK UR EXCEPT TAHT SOMATIEMS IMM 2 DUMB 2 G3T IT!!!!11 WTF I ADMIER UR WIT 2 AND UR 2NGU3-IN-CHEK WRITNG STYLE11!!! OMG WTF I FIND U INT3R3STNG 2 TOK 2 NOT QUIET DA TYPICAL SNGAPOREAN OR RI GRADUAET (BUT I DONT RILLY WANT 2 STEROTYP3 NO MAT3R HOW HYPOCRITICAL TAHT MAEKS ME SOUND)!!!1!!! WTF HOW3V3R I GET THIS FELNG TAHT U FEL PAOPLA WIT A RELIGION MISGUIEDD AND U LOK DOWN ON OTHARS QUIET A BIT!!11!!!! OMG WTF LOL =| INCLUDNG M31!!! OMG LOL UR INTAR3ST IN PR SLASH IS MUSNG THOUGH!111!! OMG D

***

Last Thursday, I finally had a $18 hair cut. Those shackled by archaic notions of what males should and should not do need not rejoice, for it was just a little trim. A $18 haircut is a very different experience from a $9 abang one, and though I could have had 2 abang haircuts for the price of the one I got, I didn't trust abang with my 5 months of "hard work", fearing he'd ruin it. Besides which, the experience was very interesting. Meanwhile Zhiming doesn't want to waste money cutting his hair. My explanation is that my little trim is something of a scientific experiment, to investigate if hair really grows faster after it's been trimmed.

Some people commented that my hair was very "retro". Whether it's because of the sideburns or my clipped-back fringe, I don't know.

Tym asked if I was going to launch an invective about the double standards of (Singaporean) society in allowing women to dye their hair and keep it any length they want (the caterwauling of some Secondary School Principals about 'inappropriate gender behavior' notwithstanding), while men face disapproval if they dye their hair, and woe betide them if they have long hair and are not in an arty-farty job, or the yuppie service industry. Suffice to say that, as with fashion, there are 2 categories of hair lengths and styles: female and unisex.

[Addendum: Wowbagger responds - "There exist unacceptable levels of shortness for female hair. Crew cuts are definitely out, as my family and strangers in the female toilets let me know with some pandemonium two years ago." But generally, my observation holds (as for fashion). Just the other day I saw this ang moh skinhead girl in NUS. You don't see *that* many males with crew cuts anyway.]

Speaking of which, I haven't done a hair status update in a while:
Fringe: Reaching the bottom of my eyes in some places
Sides: Some strands are now touching my earlobe
Back: I don't really notice much change, but maybe that's because of my short neck


Someone asked me why I am so opposed to the Halal-isation of originally non-Halal food (eg the substitution of beef or turkey bacon for real bacon). I asked him what he thought of curry made without chili, or satay without satay sauce, and he replied that he wouldn't eat it. Besides which, the total abandonment of culinary principles (ie not offering a more authentic alternative) in the pursuit of cheap profits is morally suspect.

He Who Must Not Be Named has asked me to accompany him while he engages in various dull daily chores, like laundry. Just like me, he detests ironing. Personally, I don't mind doing laundry, washing dishes or even, in extremis, drying them. But ironing is horrific. On the rare occasions when I do ironing, after the first few minutes, when I get the worst of the creases out, it seems that the more I iron, the more crumpled my garments get. Besides which, my philosophy is that within the first 5 minutes of your donning a garment, it will get somewhat creased, so there's no point seeking perfection in ironing.

I've never understood what people see in jeans. Granted, they're easy to match and don't need ironing, but they are wretchedly hot, and I don't see why people find them so comfortable. Heck, I don't even own a pair of jeans. Or at least not any that I've worn (or could have fit into) for the past 5 years. Interestingly, many jeans I see have a brown patch sewn onto the butt area with the waist and length measurements. I suspect that one reason we have men's jeans and women's jeans is that the waist measurements printed on the brown patch on female jeans is actually 2 sizes smaller. I must go around with measuring tape one day and attempt to gather empirical evidence to prove my theory. Also, what's with denim made with uneven yarns?

Ban Xiong memorably proclaimed, on many occasions, that the only cure for footrot is ORD. Unfortunately, like so many of his grand pronouncements, this wasn't strictly true. Melvin is still afflicted by footrot and it's spreading, despite his wearing shoes only once a week. Meanwhile I was struck by a spot of it a few weeks back, but with vigorous application of Daktarin, aka Miconazole Cream, it has been eradicated. And even he doesn't trust himself, applying the cream regularly as a preventive measure. Bah.

Hoods, zips (when not strictly necessarily to keep the garment from falling off the wearer) and strings tempt me so. I should hire someone to stand still while I enact my various fantasies involving them.


For some reason, many Malays love to extract portions of their names so they'll sound Western. Examples:

Nur Hasanah (Nana)
Norlinda, Haslinda (Linda)
Norlinda (Nora)
Amirah (Amy)
Rosanah (Ros, Rosie)
Rafidah (Fee)
Shamsuddin (Sam)
Sharifah (Sherry)
Mohammad (Hams - facetious suggestion by a Malay friend)

Quote of the Post: "To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals." - Don Schrader

***

Number of American deaths per year that result directly or primarily from the following selected causes nationwide, according to World Almanacs, Life Insurance Actuarial (death) Rates, and the last 20 years of U.S. Surgeon Generals' reports.

Tobacco 340,000 to 450,000
Alcohol ((Not including 50% of all highway deaths and 65% of all murders) 150,000+
Aspirin (Including deliberate overdose) 180 to 1,000+
Caffeine (From stress, ulcers, and triggering irregular heartbeats, etc.) 1,000 to 10,000
"Legal" Drug Overdose (Deliberate or accidental) from legal, prescribed or patent medicines and/or mixing with alcohol - e.g. Valium/alcohol 14,000 to 27,000
Illegal Drug Overdose (Deliberate or accidental) from all illegal drugs. 3,800 to 5,200
Marijuana 0

(Marijuana users also have the same or lower incidence of murders and highway deaths and accidents than the general non-marijuana using population as a whole. Crancer Study, UCLA; U.S. Funded ($6 million), First & Second Jamaican Studies, 1968 to 1974; Costa Rican Studies, 1980 to 1982; et al. LOWEST TOXICITY 100% of the studies done at dozens of American universities and research facilities show pot toxicity does not exist. Medical history does not record anyone dying from an overdose of marijuana (UCLA, Harvard, Temple, etc.).

(Source)


The numbers seem accurate enough. The question is: how many deaths from Marijuana would there be if it were as widely consumed as Tobacco, Alcohol, Aspirin and Caffeine?

***

This event just ended, I wonder what they were doing:


Event Title:GIG Weekend
Organizer: Campus Crusade for Christ
Committee: Clubs and societies
Category: Excursions

What if all you thought you knew was a lie?
What if there really was someone beyond the sky?
Let me tell you how he would cry.
Let me tell you why he would die.
GIG WEEKEND-Where it begins. God under investigation

Date/Time: 2nd October 2004(afternoon) - 3rd October 2004(evening)
Venue: Scripture Union Campsite (at the white colonial house)

Contact: Daniel at : crun_5@yahoo.com or at 98513117
Places are limited. RSVP

***

Script/AOLer Translator

This is real powerful. The preceding section of this post is transformed into the following:


EVENT TITLEGIG WEKEND
ORGANIEZR CMPUS CRUSAED FOR CHRIST
COMITE CLUBS AND SOCEITEIS
CAETGORY WUT IF AL U THOUGHT U NU WAS A LEI????! OMG WTF WUT IF THEIR RILLY WAS SOMEON3 BYOND DA SKY?!!?!!
L3T MA TEL U HOW H3 WUD CRY!!!!1!1! OMG
LET MA TEL U Y HE WUD DEI1111!! OMG WTF
GIG WEKAND-WHARE IT BGINS!!!!11! OMG WTF GOD UND3R INVESTIGATION
DAET/TIEM 2ND OC2BR 204(AFTARNON) - 3RD OC2BR 204(3V3NNG)
V3NUE SCRIPTUR3 UNION CMPSIET (AT TEH WHIET COLONIAL HOUS3)
CONTACT DANEIL AT CRUN_5@YAHOCOM11!!!!! OMG LOL OR AT 9851317
PLAECS R LIMIETD1!1111!1 WTF LOL RSVP

***

Democracy fails Singapore battler - "Mr Lee is regarded as the most successful defamation litigant in history. In nine actions since the 1970s he has been awarded damages of more than A$3 million by the courts, and hundreds of thousands more in out-of-court settlements."

The Christian Faith and the New Physics - Interesting article on the history of Physics, though I *still* don't understand the Schrodinger's cat Thought Experiment. But it says almost nothing about its supposed topic!

Survey: Islam and the West - It is interesting to read this survey written in 1994. "Islamic radicals, the people who wish to turn back to the foundations of their faith... will need to ask themselves how the words Muhammad bequeathed 1,400-odd years ago square the wellbeing of today's Muslims in the matters of economic organisation, the rights of women, and the basic question of who rules a country." - the questions it asks are still very relevant, though it's rather disingenuous on the koran and women.

Stefan Landsberger's Chinese Propaganda Poster Pages - "This site is dedicated to the Chinese propaganda poster as it has been produced from 1949 till the present day. So-called propaganda art has played a major supporting role in the many campaigns that were designed to mobilize the people, and throughout the People's Republic, the propaganda poster has been the favored vehicle through which art conveyed model behavior."
The modern ones are generally less cheesy, except for those sliming Falungong

chipmunks - The true story of Alvin, Simon and Theodore.

Rapture! - "This film talks about the rapture that is happening soon in the year 1000, 1941, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004,2005!!

***

I had a taste of the World Famous Ramly Burger (Chicken) one day when I was in Clementi. Really, though some people swear by it, it's nothing special, and though I was assured by a friend that the stall we'd bought them from was "average", I cannot imagine a "good" Ramly Burger would be all that much better. I also cannot understand why it was so popular that there were *4* Ramly Burger outlets in the area near Clementi MRT (they're having a pasar malam/carnival/food fest now, but still, 4 is a hell of a lot).

Indeed, the Ramly Burger offers a genuine Malaysian Taste, what with simple and raw, yet strong flavours that hit you in the face with no pretense at subtlety (I'm told that technically Ramly Burgers are banned in Singapore because they don't pass Health and Safety regulations, so maybe we can guess at how their arrive at their special taste).

My chicken patty was a little limp had a very processed taste, as was Abdullah's beef, I would imagine. The thin wrapping of egg folded around the patty lent an interesting texture, but this was unfortunately not followed up upon by the few shreds of white cabbage that lay under the egg wrapping - they were dry and tasteless. To complete the whole taste experience, a dark brown sauce (BBQ or Worcestershire, I couldn't tell) and a white sauce (probably cheap Malaysian mayonnaise made from palm oil, since it tasted very thin and had no body) were drizzled on top of the patty.

A big minus point for Ramly burger, though, is that in the typical Malaysian (Hawker) fashion, gratuitous use is made of oil and deep frying (for the patties). And I'll bet my hat that there's loads of palm oil in there too.

Other people's comments:

"it's juicy, it's meaty and it's definitely better than McDonalds"

"i like how they wrap the egg and put all those sauces inside, it rocks. it's pretty smart and unique if u ask me"

"Nothing special about the patty. But the amt of mayo and tomato liberally piled inside the burger made my tastebuds hurl and my stomach churn"

[Addendum: My sources tell me I got the lousy Ramly Burger, and the good vendors are like nomads. Looks like they have no quality control.]


The morals of money-lending

The oldest references to usury are found in religious manuscripts of India, dating back to 2000-1400 BC where the 'usurer' is associated with any interest lender. In the Hindu Sutra (700-100 BC) as well as in the Buddhist Jatakas (600-400 BC) there are many references to the payment of interest, along with expressions of disdain for the practice.

Vasishtha, a prominent lawmaker of the era, drafted a law that banned the high caste Brahmans and Kshatryas from being usurers or money-lenders. In the second century AD, the term usury becomes relative, meaning that interest above the legal rate could not be charged; that would be a usurious loan. But usury in some form or other has continued to the present day, and although in principle it is condemned, the term 'usury' refers only to exorbitant interest, ie well above socially accepted rates. The practice operates in most parts of the world.


The Singapore Association for the Deaf has put out this ad: "I'm an engineering graduate. I'm a teacher. I'm a sportsman. I'm deaf. But I'm certainly not dumb and mute". I'm sure they are attempting a pun, but methinks it cuts a little bit too close for comfort, and the connection between "dumb and mute" and not being able to be a graduate, teacher or sportsman is tenuous. How would deaf people feel if the Singapore Association for the Dumb put out an ad: "I'm an engineering graduate. I'm a teacher. I'm a sportsman. I'm dumb. But I'm certainly not deaf"?

Nowadays I don't see many Super Buses (two storied, air-conditioned SBS buses) with the counters that tell you how many seats on the upper deck are free. There must be too many people like me scheming to crash them.


"This is unbelievable, Goldar. Once again you have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory" - Lord Zedd

***

We watched a video on child labour in India. Apparently 65 million (?) children under the age of 14 in India work, mostly in rural areas. Very sad, yes, but if the children don't work, what are they going to do? The government is not going to provide free education for 65 million children, which will almost certainly have to include some sort of incentive (like a free lunch) to get children to attend school, especially if even 10% of Indian women are like this crazy woman interviewed in the video who expressed a wish to have 2 dozen children.

I saw this girl, undoubtedly a hall resident, wearing flip flops which were of different colours - 1 was yellow and 1 was orange. Doubtless it was a fashion statement. Bah. In other news, I saw a man wearing a gray singlet which seemed exactly like the Army one, except that instead of the word "ARMY" printed in bold lettering across the back, the word "Nike" was printed in a small font at the front and at the back. Oh, and someone (presumably the man) had scrawled the word "army" below "Nike".


Quotes:

Today we'll be doing Tutorial 3... All of you guys [are] sleeping right? Today is Tutorial 2.

[On buffets] We'd eat until the restaurant closed down. It happened: this Tim Sum buffet... The next day they stopped it.

[On a Brazillian all-you-can-eat] If you go there and you don't eat $40 worth, which is what girls do.

Good morning everybody. [{Female} Student in middle, in a bright voice: Good morning! *waves hand*]

[On child labour and child abuse in India] You have to explain these things. Not like 'this is bad' or 'Indian culture is bad'

Bear the burnt of domination and discrimination (brunt)

gender in'ekwairlity (equality)

South Asia is a mo'sar'ik of cultures (mosaic)

I got too many slides as usual, but I did a smart thing for once. I made the important ones blue, so you can sort of fade out and when the screen turns blue, see whether you can train yourselves to wake up again.

What is knowledge?... You might have a Socratic sort of investigation. I could say: 'Students, what is knowledge? And then you could say some things and I could try to make you look like fools in front of your friends and drawing contradictions from the things you say, and we might make some progress that way.

Here's a smartass quote by Ernest Rutherford, but famous physicists are allowed to be snarky sometimes. 'In science there is only physics. Everything else is stamp collecting.' Now I don't know exactly what he meant by that. Maybe he thinks stamp collecting is wonderful and there's some complex irony going on here.

Here's a quote from our Platonic dialogue, the Meno. This is from the end. By this point you were probably nodding off whe nyou read so maybe you don't remember it so well.

Wow, there's a bird in here. Now that's an unusual. Gosh. I feel a little sorry for it. There's not really a lot I can do for it though... I can see whether I can think of an epistemological example to use on the basis of the bird.

[On the lecture's end] That's the end of my show for today.

[Someone on pictures of pioneers in Electro-magnetic Induction: All old men] [Someone else: He's quite handsome] Right. That's another session we're gonna have. Electro-magnetic idols.

[On a student's explanation for the direction of electro-magnetically induced current] You can see it in both ways. In terms of Lenz's Law or [Student: My law]

[On shorting an anmeter by connecting it to the output of a transformer] If any smoke goes off, if anything blows up - this is your experiment.

Is that all? The class seems to be getting smaller and smaller... Friday afternoon: they go to Orchard for shopping. Thank you for coming.

Toilet paper is a favourite consumption good of Singaporeans. When the cars come from JB, when they open the boots at Customs - rolls and rolls of toilet paper.

Actually I dub it very much (doubt)

There are a lot of good jokes about economists on the net... You type 'resources for Economists'... One of the links has a lot of jokes there.

The money supply keeps increasing. THe government prints money every year. But bank robberies are falling. We're very well-run.

[On German hyper-inflation] In one week the value of your money has shrunk by 3 times. That is incredulous (incredible)

[On German hyper-inflation] Already I see people dozing off, so I'm going to help them doze off further by telling them this grandfather story.

Treaty of Ver'siles (Versailles)

In Singapore, we don't have many seasons. I guess it's autumn out there. I go out: it looks like autumn.

Cyclical [Pronounced as: sai'clical] unemployment. For years, people have been trying to convince me that it's pronounced 'cyclical' [Pronounced as: si'clical] unemployment. I'm not convinced. One day I'll go down to the British COuncil to find out how it's pronounced. They have tutors there who teach you how to speak the Queen's English, according to the bus ads.

[On the efficiency wage] Even if you are in the central tower, you don't know what they are doing. They might be playing mahjong in the cockpit. You pay them very high wages to stop them from playing mahjong in the cockpit. If they are caught playing mahjong in the cockpit, you sack them straightaway.

It's even more fun when you read girls' magazines. They tell you how guys think. Then you think: 'I don't think like that.' [Someone: There's another possibility. Maybe you're abnormal.]

My sister's back!

Yay.

Quote of the Post: "Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four." - Katharine Hepburn

***

Excellent and (darkly) hilarious parable:


The Tale of the Twelve Officers

It was, of course, sad to hear that Ms. K had been slowly raped and murdered by a common thug over the course of one hour and fifty-five minutes; but when I found out that the ordeal had taken place in plain sight of twelve fully-armed off-duty police officers, who ignored her terrified cries for help, and instead just watched until the act was carried to its gruesome end, I found myself facing a personal crisis. You see, the officers had all been very close friends of mine, but now I found my trust in them shaken to its core. Fortunately, I was able to talk with them afterwards, and ask them how they could have stood by and done nothing when they could so easily have saved Ms. K.

"I thought about intervening," said the first officer, "but it occurred to me that it was obviously better for the murderer to be able to exercise his free will than to have it restricted. I deeply regret the choices he made, but that's the price of having a world with free agents. Would you rather everyone in the world were a robot? The attacker's choices certainly weren't in my control, so I can't be held responsible for his actions."

"Well," said the second officer, "my motivation was a little bit different. I was about to pull my gun on the murderer when I thought to myself, 'But wait, wouldn't this be a perfect opportunity for some unarmed bystander to exercise selfless heroism, should he chance to walk by? If I were to intervene all the time like I was just about to, then no one would ever be able to exercise such a virtue. In fact, everyone would probably become very spoiled and self-centered if I were to prevent every act of rape and murder.' So I backed off. It's unfortunate that no one actually showed up to heroically intervene, but that's the price of having a universe where people can display virtue and maturity. Would you rather the world were nothing but love, peace, and roses?"

"I didn't even consider stepping in," said the third officer. "I probably would have if I hadn't had so much experience of life as a whole, since Ms. K's rape and murder admittedly seems pretty horrible when taken in isolation. But when you put it into context with the rest of life, it actually adds to the overall beauty of the big picture. Ms. K.'s screams were like the discordant notes that make fine musical pieces better than they would have been had all the notes been flawless. In fact, I could scarcely keep from waving my hands around, imagining that I myself was conducting the delicious nuances of the orchestra."

"When I first arrived on the scene, I actually drew my gun and pointed it right at the rapist's head," confessed the fourth officer, with a very guilty look on his face. "I'm deeply ashamed I did that. Do you know how close I came to destroying all of the goodness in the world? I mean, we all know there can't be any good without evil. Fortunately, I remembered this just in time, and a wave of such strong nausea came over me when I realized what I had almost done, that it knocked me to my hands and knees. Man, was that a close one."

"Look, there's really no point in my trying to explain the details to you," said the fifth officer, who we had nicknamed 'Brainiac' because he had an encyclopedic knowledge of literally everything and an IQ way off the charts. "There's an excellent reason for why I did not intervene, but it's just way too complicated for you to understand, so I'm not even going to bother trying. I mean, you admit you are nowhere near as knowledgeable as I am, so what right do you have to judge? Just so there's no misunderstanding, though, let me point out that no one could care about Ms. K. more than I did, and that I am, in fact, a very good person. That settles that."

"I would have defended Ms. K," said the sixth officer, who was notoriously careful about staying out of the public eye, "but it simply was not feasible. You see, I want everyone to freely choose to believe in me. But if I were to step in every time someone was about to be raped or murdered, then the evidence would be so clear-cut that everyone would be forced to believe in me. Can you imagine a more diabolical infringement upon their free wills? Obviously, it was better for me to back off and let Ms. K be raped and murdered. Now everyone can freely choose to believe that there is this extraordinary cop out there who loves them like his own children."

"What are you complaining about?" exclaimed the seventh officer when I turned to him, his eyebrows shooting up in exasperated disbelief. "I just saved a woman from getting raped and murdered last week! Do I have to jump in every time I see something like that about to happen? I would say the fact that more women are not raped and murdered in this city is almost miraculous testimony to my goodness."

The eighth officer, too, looked frustrated. "Nothing I do is good enough! Do you know how much worse it could have been? The thug actually had a blowtorch with him when he started out, but I said 'No way, not on my watch,' and knocked it away from him with my nightstick. Sure, I let him keep the switchblade, the pliers, the coat hanger, and the vial of acid, but think how much worse it would have been with a blowtorch! Ms. K should have thanked her lucky stars that someone so loving was there to watch over her."

"I'll let you in on a secret," said the ninth officer."Moments after Ms. K. flatlined, I had her resuscitated, and flown to a tropical resort where she is now experiencing extraordinary bliss, and her ordeal is just a distant memory. I'm sure you would agree that that's more than adequate compensation for her suffering, so the fact that I just stood there watching instead of intervening has no bearing at all on my goodness."

The tenth officer gave us all quite a start when he revealed a surprising secret about Ms. K. "I genetically engineered her from scratch. I made her, therefore she's my property, and I can do whatever I want with her. I could rape and murder her myself if I were so inclined, and it would be no worse than you tearing up a piece of paper you own. So there is no question of my being a bad person for not helping her."

The eleventh officer chimed in, gesturing at the tenth officer "I hired him to create Ms. K for me, because I wanted someone to love and worship me. But when I approached Ms. K about the matter, she actually turned away from me, as though she could find meaning and happiness with someone else! So I decided the loving thing to do would be to break her spirit by arranging to have her raped and murdered by a common thug, so that she might turn to me in her extraordinary suffering, thereby fulfilling the purpose for which she had been created. Well, mission accomplished, I'm happy to say! A few seconds before she died, she was so insane with terror and pain that she actually convinced herself she loved me, since she knew that only I could end her ordeal. I'll never forget the love in her eyes when she looked up at me the last time, begging for mercy, right before the thug bent over and slit her throat. It was so beautiful it still brings me to tears. Now I just have to go to that island so she can claim her prize of servitude."

"Well, this is quite a coincidence," chuckled the twelfth officer. "It looks like the thug got himself double pay, because I actually hired him to carry out the murder, too! Why? Oh, well it was just a test. Ms. K and I had been dating for some time (no offense, I didn't know she was someone else's property), and one beautiful night she finally told me she loved me. So, naturally, I wanted to see whether this was indeed love - that is, whether she would continue to adore me even while drowning in a pool of her own tears and blood, with me standing before her doing nothing."

By now, it had become clear to me that any difficulty I might have had in reconciling the presumed goodness of the officers with their behavior that day was unfounded, and that anyone who sided against them could do so only for love of evil over good. After all, anyone who has experienced their friendship in the way I have knows that they are good. Their goodness is even manifest in my life - I was in a shambles before I met them, but now everyone remarks on what a changed person I am, so much kinder and happier, apparently possessed of an inner calm. And I have met so many others who feel exactly the same way about them - so many who, like me, know in their hearts the truth that others try to rationalize away with their cold reason and sterile logic. I am ashamed that I ever doubted the entitlement of the twelve officers to my loyalty and my love.

As I was getting ready to leave, the first officer spoke up again. "By the way, I also think you should know that when we stood there watching Ms. K. get raped and stabbed over and over, we were suffering along with her, and we experienced exactly the same pain she did, or perhaps even more." And everyone in the room, myself included, nodded his head in agreement.

Postscript

Religious readers, do not take offense. I have made this parable as brazen as I could, but my purpose is not to insult or blaspheme. I have found that religious believers are often conditioned to accept trite solutions to the problem of suffering, and that it is all but impossible to shake that conditioning through dry analysis. The temptation to offer to an entity a moral blank check simply because it sports a nametag with "God" written on it, is overwhelming in our theistic culture. Hence, this attempt to make the point through a medium as far removed from dry analysis as possible. But again, it is all to make a point, not to cause anyone harm. I have not written anything that I would not have wanted directed at me when I myself was a believer.


Unfortunately the parable becomes too transparent for Officers 9-12.

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Someone can actually ask me in all seriousness (regarding thought control and brainwashing): "what's wrong with not thinking independently?" (supposedly as a rhetorical point, but still.) and "Are not government interests national interests?" Sigh.

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What to do when shitty programs (like Windows Media Player 10, AceFTP Pro 3.61 and AVG Anti-Virus) worm themselves into your file/folder context menus without giving you an option to turn shell integration off: Disable Shell Extensions with ShellExView from NirSoft (it's free too)!


Advertisement: "anyway wants free fighting fish please email me imneverwrong@rocketmail.com! They are 2 months old red halfmoon!"

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Some Channel 8 show went down to NUS to check out the posers and shrill, anorexic, chinese-speaking ah lians. Bah.

Someone: "all the girls in NUS look like ah lians. you're right."


"If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and waddles like a duck, then we have good reason to believe it is a duck!" - I am unable to find the source of this quote. Can anyone be of assistance?


In an attempt to solve my wireless connection problems in school, I upgraded to the latest Intel PROSet for Wireless and NUS Virtual Private Networking (VPN) client. Unfortunately, now not only can I not connect in some parts of school when others can, my whole system is screwed and I've to keep interrupting my boots with F8 to "go back to last good configuration". So much for upgrading to solve my problem - at least I've my recovery CDs.

This girl walked into lecture after a self-declared mid-lecture break (because there was no official one) with 2 packets of Lay's Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. She happened to look at me when I was looking at what she brought in, and I dare say she gave me a dirty look. Gah.

Inside jokes by earring makers are annoying. Just the other day, I saw a fat ah lian studying what looked like organic chemistry, since I saw single and double bonding between molecules. On her right ear was a key and on her left ear was a lock. I was really tempted to shove the key into the lock. (Hi Ah Ma!)

Zhiming also hasn't cut his hair since April, but it's shorter than mine. Heh. And he also wants to grow it to the same length as I. Finally, I've found someone with the same ambition!

It seems in Science printing costs 4.5cents/page, because Science students' demand for printing is more elastic than that of Arts students. Argh!!! Price discrimination!

I was walking by a female toilet in Engineering and saw a facial tissue dispenser outside. To confirm my suspicions, I went to the corresponding male toilet (in places where there's no space for two toilets, male and female toilets alternate by level) below, and sure enough, there was no dispenser there. They know their market well.

Diamagnetism is wondrous to behold :)

One Chinese-speaking staff member at engineering called me "xiao peng you" (Translation: Little friend). Now, "xiao di" (Translation: Little brother) is still tolerable even though I am anything but little, but for some reason "xiao peng you" puts me in mind of primary school kids going on a merry go round. Gah.

I was at the Engineering canteen and wanted to buy a drink to go. Since I would be consuming it over a period of time, I wanted it to have some ice. At the same time, I wanted to get as much real drink as possible; anyhow the syrup costs but a few cents, and ice is practically free. So I filled the paper cup with my drink to the brim first, drank a bit of the foam and drink, then pressed the button for ice. Unfortunately, the ice was dispensed from above, and I misestimated, so some of the drink splashed on my fingers. Oh well - LPPL. Later, when I went to pay, I got a big shock - buying a drink to go incurred a 10 cent surcharge! 10 cents for a measly paper cup. A 10 cent surcharge for takeaway food is not so bad, since it's a smaller proportion of the price, and the plastic container they give is at least worth something, but a 45 cent drink becoming 55 cents because of a flimsy paper cup is daylight robbery.


I saw this long-haired construction worker on a poster in school. One would think the hair would get tangled in the machines. Then again most of the few long-haired men I see walking around are, if not foreign workers, then of the race that foreign workers typically belong to.

Quote of the Post: "Flare dance ensemble presents... Rhythmicity!"

Flare: Rhythmicity
October 21 - 23, 2004 @ 7.30pm
Union Theatre, Union House Ground Floor. University of Melbourne.
Tickets: $8 / $12
Bookings:
bookings@flaredance.com
Contact me for details.

Random Playlist Song: "Wouldn't it be nice if everyone was nice"- some Terry pratchett novel, featuring the soppy witch-turned-queen.

Read Alan Cable's "A visit to vanity fair".

http://www.straitstimes.com.sg/world/story/0,4386,275465,00.html?

This is exactly what was feared in a graying population. Politicians buying votes with irresponsible and impractical concessions to the older population. Free health care to everyone over 75 - that's rather sweeping and unpragmatic - and an irresistible offer if you stand to benefit. That as the population ages, they start making selfish demands that suit them - and are detrimental to the greater population. As the fraction of retirees increases, they will demand (and receive) more and more, while the fraction that actually works and earns money will receive less and less. I wonder if there will be an upper age limit for voting, given the rising prevalence of Alzheimer's....

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