A friend's thoughts on Good Friday:
"seeing as today is a holiday of religious hooha, i will put forth some questions of utmost theological importance.
is it a good friday because jesus died?
who is the easter bunny?
why chocolate eggs?
did rabbits come from eggs?
did jesus look like a rabbit?
or maybe he liked eggs?
or chocolate?
did they even have chocolate back then?
you know, it sucks to be jesus, really. i mean, your dad's this whole control freak with anger management issues. your mum's got no sexual education knowledge to pass down, and she's got this other husband who's also kind of like your dad. but your real dad isn't into the commitment thing and your other human dad is so totally insignificant.
then you go to earth to be friendly and all that crap then people throw stones at you. and you can't even get any from mary magdalene who's probably the closest you ever got to a girlfriend. then all these people come and try to make you multiply bread like it's your only talent. i mean, nobody cares about you ! then, of course, they nail you to a cross.
i mean, it's all fine and dandy to be grunge and goth and all but after you die all these people make horrible websites in your name like 1-800-hello-god and they make you all black and kinda homo looking just so you can be politically correct.
it could even be the same bastards who put hindu and buddhist gods in disgusting sexual positions and sell them as household decorations in hotel lobbies.
i'm probably the most anti-christian person this side of serangoon but give jesus a break lah. he's just an easygoing dude trying to avoid family troubles and subconscious insecurities by making more friends and being as useful as possible. so let's all give him a hug, you know, since he died today and all. sucks to be him.
Saturday, April 10, 2004
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