***
Singaporean men are fussy, Singaporean women are even more fussy
I was amused and slightly surprised that a survey has showed that Singaporean men are more open-minded in dating than Singaporean women.
The survey in question, commissioned by Lunch Actually, was done in May and involved 200 singles.
It revealed (presumably among other things, but as of the writing of this post Lunch Actually has not released any information on its website) that of the men:
- 51% would date an older woman
- 67% a woman who earns more
- 71% a more-educated woman and
- 47% a taller woman
Among the women,
- 59% would date a younger man
- 28% a man who earns less
- 25% a less-educated man and
- only 11% a shorter man
To put it another way, compared to men doing the reverse, Singaporean women are slightly more willing to date a younger man, much less willing to hook up with a poorer man, way less willing to snog a less-learned man and whoppingly more reluctant to snag a shorter man; Singaporean women are extremely fussy, and the refusal to date shorter men is the most ridiculous (and strongly-expressed) of their preferences (the excuses I can think of for this are the weakest).
All this coheres with other information we know. For example, that SDU women are looking for rich men ("You might as well show up with your salary printed boldly on your T-shirt. Save the women at SDU the trouble of asking"). And with revealed preferences, like marriage statistics released by the National Population Secretariat.
Of course, the survey results should be interpreted keeping in mind its methodology. I considered the possibility that they surveyed their own customer base, but since the survey was "commissioned", this is very unlikely to be the case. Not having access to more information, I made some assumptions about the survey which I deemed reasonable.
This being an online survey, the sample probably differed from Singaporeans at large in:
i) Age
Those surveyed would likely be disproportionately from the late teens to mid 40s. Given that the average age of marriage is 29.7 for men and 27.1 for women, this is likely not a problem as the older a single is, the less likely that he will eventually get married. Also, the number of singles in a given cohort decreases as it becomes older.
On the other hand, people become more desperate with increasing age (see also: the closing time effect in bars; "All the girls all get prettier at closing time / Oh, they all begin to look like movie stars... I'm looking for a nine but eight could work right in / Few more drinks and I might slip to five or even four"). As someone from another dating agency commented, "It's always the older ladies who don't mind dating younger men or those with lower education levels". As such, the survey will overestimate how fussy Singaporeans are since it leaves out the older crowd.
Yet, given the countervailing effects, as well as how common discourse does not have singles past their mid 40s in mind, this is not a problem.
Also, with regard to age, given that on average grooms are aged only two years older than brides, in the absence of large skewing factors like a hideous disease that strikes down 99% of all single men above the age of 40 (at least not that I know of), the age of both single cohorts is unlikely to differ much.
ii) Social Class (or, if you like, SES - Socio-Economic Status)
This is less of a factor now than in the past, but those who use the Internet - and more so, those who actively use it (since casual users are less likely to be captured by Internet research studies) - are slightly better off than those who don't.
SES is broken down into income, education and occupation. I'm not sure what effects occupation would have on attitudes to singlehood, but am on more solid ground about the other 2.
Generally, we can see that, despite (or perhaps even because of?) their higher SES, the surveyed women are very fussy. Education does not seem to have done much to make them more open-minded (perhaps this is why traditionally societies have been leery about educating their women).
Two of the four findings are especially interesting, given their correlation with SES.
If we assume that the survey respondents are slightly richer than the population at large, women's fussiness when it comes to income is even more galling.
Let me illustrate.
If I am a woman who earns $1,500 a month, and am unwilling to date a man who earns $750 a month, this is somewhat defensible as I can say we will end up a poor family. However, if I earn $8,000 a month and refuse to consider a man who earns $4,000, I have much less to say in my defence about why I am so demanding - there is diminishing marginal utility of income. Given that the median monthly income in 2008 was $2,590, a goodly proportion of the 72% of women who would not date a poorer man likely fit the latter example better than the former.
With regard to education, the respondents' fussiness is more excusable.
If I have an O level certificate and refuse to consider someone with only a PSLE certificate, it is apparent that there is a sizeable gap in our educational levels. On the other hand, if I have a Bachelor's Degree, it is not much of a leap for me to consider someone with a Master's Degree (or even a Ph.D).
iii) Marital Status
Although the survey drew conclusions about "the Singaporean's search for love", it only looked at those who are currently single.
This may seem like an empty point, but it is important to look not just at the people who are currently single but all who were searching for love at one point or other, in order to get a good grip on the way Singaporeans as a whole think.
For example, assume that there are 5 men and 5 women in the total population. All of the women are fussy, while 2 of the men are fussy while 3 of them are open-minded. If the 3 open-minded men hookup with 3 of the women (it is easier to match a fussy person and an open-minded one than two fussy ones) and the singles in the population are then surveyed, the erroneous conclusion that all the singles are fussy will be drawn.
Given that women are in general more discriminating about who they pair up with than men, for the population as a whole, women in general might be even fussier (relative to men) than they seem to be (according to the survey).
Of course, market research companies do have techniques of guarding against over- or under-representation, but those notwithstanding I still believe there is some degree of skewness in the data.
Someone raised the problem of respondents lying, but even if people from both genders lied, the general trend of female fussiness would be the same - unless for some reason you thought guys lied more. Indeed, if women lied more than men, they would in reality be even more fussy than they currently appear to be.
Someone also explained that women are justified in not wanting to marry poorer men by saying that they need someone to provide for the family if they give birth. I agreed that this was true, but replied that I was just showing that Singaporean women are less open-minded than Singaporean men. After all, one can similarly construct an argument that men are justified in looking for pretty wives since aesthetic appeal is correlated with fertility. Or that they should look for submissive women to
All in all, this survey helps to put paid to the long-running myth that "Singaporean men marry foreign women because they are losers. Singaporean women marry foreign men because Singaporean men are losers", although doubtless people will go on believing in it.
But then, due to Female Mate Choice, it doesn't help the former much anyway. At least if you restrict the pool to locals - which is why more and more Singaporean men are marrying foreign brides. Meanwhile, Singaporean women are also benefiting from the increased market size as they are better able to satisfy their desires.
(Incidentally, the survey didn't cover LGTQs, but it'd be much harder to survey them)
