Quotes:

The invitation is going to be from me. Where is ***? Please give this to your father... 'The letter is given to a student who would appear to know you. You can ask her for more information.' I don't know if he will be embarrassed or you will be embarrassed.

[On Kipling's "If"] Triumph and disaster. Both are imposters. Just like universities these days. They talk about 'pedagogy and passion'. Both are imposters.

In the south of France, near Spain, they have a curved bridge. Not the crooked bridge that Mahathir is talking about. Malaysians build crooked bridges.

t tie / t tar (theta)

In Bangladesh, what happened to the reverse (rivers)

Boys girls fruits flowers was a game we played. Have you heard of it? *laughs*... Boys and girls play similar games these days. I'm sure you've played something like that.

[On Ned Herrmann's 4 quadrant model] By doing this he earns a million dollars... Who knows, it might be crap. It's up to you to sort all the crap from the not-so-crap... A lot of people get where they are with crap.

Next to 'pedagogy' and 'passion', 'holistic' is the third most popular word. When people see someone using the word 'holistic' they just copy it. They don't know what it means, I think.

If I see you in the corridor, I probably can't recognise you. I'm very bad at names and faces. Unless you've been very naughty in class. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

*Fires toy gun with plunger dart at sleeping student* Can I have my bullet back?... I don't know if we are allowed to carry these things now... Could be trouble if you go on a flight.

When you burn yourself, why do you put your thumb in your mouth? [Student: So that other people can see that you burnt yourself] That is lateral thinking.

If you're an agricultural engineer. I don't know what that means, maybe you're a farmer.

[On the Sports and Social committee] Actually most of the time we eat. We seldom do other things than eat. (things other)

[On the chalet] We also drink. Oh, we're not supposed to drink. No, we don't drink.

They move mainly in the same duration (direction)

If you make your own double glazed glass, I recommend you put nitrous oxide inside instead of air... When the window breaks you'll be laughing.

When my daughter was in primary school... "My father goes to the 'blank' for breakfast... [Student: Toilet]

"My father goes to the market 'blank' breakfast"... Those who put 'for' were marked correct. My daughter wrote 'after'. Because she knows I won't step out of the house before breakfast. She got it wrong... I made her go to the teacher.

*OHP makes noise* How do you get rid of this noise? [Student: Switch it off] Absolutely. No. *Hits OHP* That's how you get rid of this noise.

This was an article I wrote 2 days after the Tsunami. I sent it to the Straits Times. They didn't publish it, because nothing was stolen, no one got molested... Now I'm forced to give the article to my students.

Mathematics was, is and will always be an arts subject.

That's the problem with scientists. They explain everything in maths and the layman cannot understand... It's uselesss.

In most universities, maths was taught in the arts faculty - before your father was born.

*** was reprimanded by the Anglican bishop 25 years ago for going onto the pulpit at St Andrew's cathedral and preaching that non-Christians can go to heaven... If heaven had only Christians it would be a pretty boring place. Praying and singing hymns all the time.