Marathon ironing session, here I come.

(Yes, it still beats doing essays, term papers and studying)

"All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why."
-James Thurber

Word of the day: "dithyramb"

It was 11:44pm, SST.

I sat in the lambent glare of my twin monitors; the lights in adjacent cubicles having being turned off to reduce costs and hence increase shareholder value. My sleeves, long since rolled up (at 4:30pm, to facilitate wolfing a hasty snack of potato salad) , rasped irritatingly against the chair as I leaned back as far I could, pushing its torsial tolerances to the limit.

On the screen, I could see numbers exploding before me, a cascade of values and candlecharts and trendlines whirling at the click of a macro, exploding into a series of notional values that writhed their way across columns and cells, living their brief, spasmatic lives of information, until a new flood of data washed in, coerced into channels by VB code as compelling as scripture, watching as a notional fortune beyond the dreams of avarice was born, and lived, and died.

I was wearing a headset, one of those with a thin fiber optic mike, the sort you see harrassed yet fixatedly-smiling travel agents wear while they spend interminable minutes keying in an elaborate itinerary of the worst possible hotels and crappiest sights you can spend your money on. Clicking blindly on buttons, control panels, occasionally keying in a correction; or alt-Breaking to modify a line of code; I occasionally feel, at my work, that I am not driving the data; that the data is driving me; I watch its ebbs and flurries like a Genoan rabbi mouthing the words of the Torah - only for me it is like a prayer wheel; a phsyical manifestation in phosphor dots and figured text and stratified lines serving as a paltry physical representation; sad metaphor of an impossibly telluric current - an endlessly profane temurah of, not something so crude as mere money, but of finance, of vol skews and dispersion trades; spread calls and podiums, delta and gamma, sensitivity and duration, ad majoram Dei gloriam.

In my ear, like the antithesis of a guardian angel, I heard the cultured, faintly sardonic voice of the Black. The Black, it is whispered in our corridors and amidst fearful huddles around the pantry cofee machine, earns more gelt in a year than some small South Pacific nations' GDP, of which a small portion is spent financing a massive yearly Bacchanal in a Cornish castle where he watches exquisite 15-year old Shan prostitutes who have been kidnapped and trained in all the arts of profane pleasure since infancy by the descendants of the keepers of the Abbasid caliphs' seraglios. He is said to sit on a throne carved exclusively from the left tibias of analysts who have displeased him (even the most fervid and vaporously perverse disposition shies from imagining to what uses the other 205 bones of an analyst can be put to use); and he drinks deep from a golden chalice rumoured to have been part of the Last Supper's dinner service filled with a mead brewed from the fermented blood of terminated contractors.

As I carried out the instructions of that dispassionate voice, blending a tapestry of figures and values and risk and return and profit and loss; I was no better than a Mammonite golem, responding only to shibboleth jargon, an extension of will carried across telephony and finding execution in my volitionless form. Occasionally, in a dead voice, I would rasp back a number, a figure, and once in a while, when my synapses could manage it, an entire sentence of near-objection or suggestion.

And yet, despite the brilliance of the Black and my own feeble attempts to condense his nuances into a meaningful set of numbers, we soon came to an impasse. Disaster. Nearing midnight, Singapore time; nearing 4:00pm, London. Trading hours would close soon; and the Elect of Hiddukel, those modern-day alchemists who have mastered the aescultation of Value from Nothing (ah, the wonders of leverage and off-balance sheet instruments!); they awaited word from the Black to complete the Great Work of the Day (and it is, as always, a daily miracle made casual, the endless cycle of creation from chaos; and an irony that it is the vicissistudes of chaos - or, in the word of the truly initiated, Volatility, that makes such measuredly inspired creation possible) . And the Black awaited the result I had rashly promised him earlier; with only dire consequence to follow in the wake of failure.

I was faced with numbers that I , barely an adept, a journeyman in the dark arts, could scarce comprehend; a conundum as beyond my grasp as literacy is to today's youth. Hoarsely, desperately, I whispered, "I can't do this. It doesn't make sense."

Cold tones: "Double the vol; use the old reference time-series."

I did as instructed. "I still can't get a figure. It's hashing out. Maybe we should call - "

"No time. I need to get this mail out to the Butcher. His minions (yes, he used the word "minions") need to know how much they can put on without busting - "

Attempted voice of reason. A half-remembered lesson from one of the online courses we are required to take, as part of the Bank's policy of self-improvement. "Handling Difficult Interactions."

"Maybe if you told me how you calc- can I get the spread off Bloomberg? Or Reuters? I tried the OAS but I couldn't get a quote -"

Harsh snarl cut me off. "And I know you couldn't find anything. There's nothing there. Not for these guys. You're not going to find shit there. Fuck. Christ. What a fucking palaver. (The first time in my life I have heard the word "palaver" in speech. One of the most aesthetically satisfying wonders of what I do is that I am surrounded by people who use words and figures of speech I have only read in books, like the Irish "begorrah" and, in Scottish brogue, "his days are noom-bered.") Alright. What do you think it should be?"

"Erm. Aren't you supposed to tell me that so I can pump it into KOBOLD and get the var? (codename for one of the myriad many systems we have. All of which are have outlandish names that reveal nothing their function, like ODE, ETRUSCAN, PULSAR, VERITY, FRAMELIGHT and MEE POK(locally developed platform))"

I heard muttered imprecations, like a dire curse. I knew then that the fate of my employment hung uneasily in the balance. For although he was not my direct master in the hierarchy (a hierarchy of immense convolution; of parallel and functional and regional accountabilities, a massive chart in which me and my coterie of colleagues in Singapore don't even occupy a box, being merely a footnote in an appendix on Section III-47b. Our immediate boss has his name underlined a few pages before that. His boss occupies an octagon with several others), I knew he had patrons and dimly-glimpsed connections which, (although as invisible amidst the aether of corporate politics as gravitation across parsecs, was just as effacious), coupled with his own finely honed malice, could end my employment in an instant if he so wished.

I have grown very attached to my apartment. Packing would be unbelievably sian.

"Jesus. Fuck. C'mon. Give me a number, man. We didn't hire you for nothing."

Sweat. Tension. Fear. I tore a ligament twisting in my seat across to the Bloomberg terminal; I called up a candlechart, a GPC, strings of historical vols; all of which would have woven a tale of meaning and contrived extrapolation to an experienced analyst; all of which meant confusion, sound and fury (sound coming from the insistent beep of my voice mail) , signifying nothing. I babbled. I made justifications that sounded lamer than the excuses a four-year-old-child gives to his mother to explain the trail of cookie crumbs leading from the kitchen to his bedroom. And I still couldn't give an Answer. The Black sounded more and more irate with every passing moment; harshly pointing out inconsistencies, errors, and flaws with my desperate, flailing guesses. Finally, on the verge, I blurted: "How would *you* do it? Factor analysis? Historical spreads? Run a Monte Carlo calc off PENDULUM? I need time to do that!"

Expecting a torrent of invective, or, worse, a cold statement that would end with me miserably spending the rest of the night updating my curriculum vitae and my jobsdb.com.sg profile, I did not expect an almost affable silence, as he appeared to consider what I was saying. Rashly emboldened, I threw more facts, problems, parameters, circumstances at him, explaining exactly why I, in my limited experience, even more limited remaining mental energy and an even more parlous pittance of expertise (which I had managed to conceal with the most profound mummery born of desperation during my job interview) , was unable to derive the number we required to complete the tapestry of figures he intended to present as a supplication to the Synarchs.

He considered everything I said, and I could hear the Black's rage in the void between continents. When I concluded with the words required of all who have been defeated by life - "So how?" - the silence grew, and blossomed.

I stole a glance at the clock tuned to London time. 4:34pm.

I awaited the words that would save, or damn me.

Then he said: "Use the Force."

Now, the Black's erudition is as legendary as his megalomania. He is said to, like Odin, know two-nine charms, who bartered an eye with Mimir for wisdom, who knows how to cut, read, stain, prove, evoke, score and send the runes. He can call forth torrents of value; he can oneiromance profit from disaster (in the wake of the Pope's death, his strategy was "long Kleenex, short Durex.").

In less pretentious terms; here is a man with a Master's degree from Berkeley, who knows more quant than I will ever in my lifetime; who has worked in the industry for 12 years (he once candidly told us that he had had an offer from Enron before joining us which he had intended to take, but *his* boss, a luminary driving an Aston Martin Vanquish in NY, had persuaded him over a caesar salad to come join us), who earns more money than I will in my lifetime barring a lottery win, and meanwhile there are pissed off Big Swinging Dick traders waiting for his word so that they can have the parameters to execute a 200x200 arb trade of potentially up to 80vols profit (Addendum: someone urged me to mention the monetary value involved in this transaction to lend context to the reader. Although she started hitting me on the head when I launched into a disquisition into the differences between notional, book and market value, the final number is approx 175m USD, which is actually a fairly paltry sum. Another of the reasons why my work affords so much sadistic entertainment - rounding errors of up to a few million USD are considered OK) ; which if I have miscalculated can lead to a catastrophe akin to the sinking of Atlantis (ie. reduced profit and hence reduced shareholder value, to be rectified by the cost reduction and sadistic utils accrued through the scourging of incompetent employees, namely myself) or, even worse, cause them to withhold from making a trade, the opportunity cost of which will be exacted through their baying howls for blood (most certainly mine - for as Tony Soprano put it: "Money flows up, shit flows down.")

And the Black is telling me to use the fucking Force!

(normally I would not profane the Jedi way, but this was a trying time)

So I closed my eyes, and I meditated on the litany. Knowing that my feelings of anger would lead me to hate, and hate would lead me to the Dark Side, I sought to find that feeling of inner peace and oneness with that which connects all living things, that would unerringly guide me to my answer.

And as the scales fell from my eyes, I moved a pivot table; called up another spreadsheet, entered a few formulae - and I grasped an answer, like a revelation; my chemical wedding with the Ineffable, a moment that is, was and will always be.

I repeated the answer to the Black; an answer that was paltry compared to the revelation that had preceded it.

I could hear the grinding of mental gears as The Black ran my poor invocation through his grotesquely convoluted mind; and I held my breath as he said, grudgingly, like a miser parceling out guineas, in words of highest praise. "Good guess. I'll run with it. See you tomorrow." And the phone went dead.

"I hate those who see my life as an illusion of passion."

It's been about 9 months now since I moved down here, and longer than that since I blogged on Balderdash. Much water under the bridge, as the saying goes.

Gabriel himself has warned me:

"paradox of popularity - people read because you're honest, but as your readership grows you've to become less honest as real life and online life collide, with real world consequences. never very public a person. not much diff. few qualms offend/insult if necessary, try to retain intellectual honesty even with people I know. fewer qualms than most, but almost court martial of course. safe: criticise institutions, not people. assume everyone gonna read. self conscious, write for audience? 02 archives. Many read, members fam. the stuff I write is either too private for even friends to read (and this v rare now that slavery is ended) or public enough for everyone to read. very little in between. once in a while you feel like being exhibitionistic and share private stuff with the world. catharsis sometimes. other times the thrill."

I think about that; and I think about why I stopped blogging. Mainly it was due to an absence of anything meaningful or original to add to the blogosphere - the gamut of blogdom these days encompasses the entire spectrum from the degenerate, to the banal, to the profoundly intellectual, to the pretentious, to the heart-rending, to the sadistic, to the juvenile - the prime disadvantage of a geometrically progressive increase in hyperlinks is that it raises the probability that someone reading what I've written has seen it all before, and done better. Also, it was partly out of a niggling fear of unintended chains of consequence (small, incestuous, net-linked world), and partly because I detest monologues to a profane audience, although those of you who know me in person might claim otherwise:)

But in the end, Gabriel had provoked me by his bald misrepresentation of one of my more cherished opinions to come back on.

Dom: "you should start blogging again. you could probably get a loyal following yourself (like gabriel)"

me: "probably, but it's also partly the same reason why i stopped trawling irc for one night stands. it's too much effort for virtually no payoff. the needle vs haystack factor is kind of daunting."

Unlike Gabriel who prefers quotations, links, articles, political opinions, and intellectual essays, I have a penchant for wholesale ranting about the effluvium of my daily experiences, meta-blog feelings, mise en scenes.

In any event, onto a careful dissection of his facetiousness.

>"I find, though, that the author's premise of "one and only one chance, otherwise the >ignificance of all is nullied" is fallacious."

The author's premise does not draw itself in such invalid syllogisms. The basic axiom, which context you have warped, is that there is "one and only one chance" at attaining a very specific End. (and you know what End that is). It does not intend the obviously fallacious argument that there is only one chance for everything.

>But to adopt an "all or nothing", "one time or never" approach (which he claims to favour in his >dealings and actions, despite the dictates of reality) is surely ridiculous.

I admit I favour this; I also confess that reality forces compromises on me I find distasteful and insulting but necessary and compelling. However, unlike you and your amoral cynicism, and your base deification of the lowest common denominator in all your dealings with humanity, I believe in, to facilely praraphrase Oscar Wilde: "looking at the stars, even when lying in the gutter". Whereas I find nothing but contempt for the humanity in the aggregate, it is only in the sense of the individual that we can be morally accountable and accounted for - and exalted.

Even in your atrophied emotional state, Gabriel, don't you think it's debasing to simply believe that you can keep moving on, keep looking for something better; that the Moment which you had, and cherished - and lost - can simply be replaced at the drop of a hat by the endless pursuit of meaning through replacement?

To sum up:

a) that quote was meant to represent a very specific set of circumstances and situation
b) it does not apply to all situations - for instance, if i failed to brew the elixir of immortality on my first try, it is a circumstance that demands I try again to attain a tangible success which is measured not in fruitless attempts, but in the finality of duration. i am not demeaned in anyway by trying again and again in this case until i succeed or shuffle off this mortal coil, although there might be an opportunity cost in that the time spent on research could be spent on other pursuits of entertainments.
c) however, in the very specific situation that quote refers to, it is an observable condition in human affairs that we are increasingly willing to forego - particularly in this one aspect of our lives - what we thought was meaningful in the pursuit of immediate gratification; churlishly squandering it when it is ours; and lamenting after it only it in its absence. "That which we obtain too cheaply; we esteem too lightly."
d) while I respect the rights of others to hold a contrary opinion, it does not preclude me from seeing their attempts at "moving on" and "second chances" as a futile, puerile illusion, and from expressing my scant regard of it as so

Parable on the frank and utter evil of the human race.

A few weeks ago, a Devastator (Siege Tank in or Starcraft parlance - to help organise the Byzantine power structure of my workplace, I prefer to use Dune 2/Command & Conquer units to define levels of authority) from London came to visit us, along with a Heavy Tank.

(the Black is also a Devastator; he reports to several Death's Hand/Hands of Nod, who in turn report to Ion Cannons, all the way up to the Padishah Emperor/Cain. At the other extreme, there's me - the splat that remains after a a Harvester runs over infantry units. My immediate senior is a Rocket Trooper or a Trike).

The Devastator was amazingly friendly; he gave me some spurious words of praise (which proves that the time invested in tongue-to-ass skill enhancement have paid off), and basically moved around like a Cardinal amongst the clergy (ie. ring-kissing, genuflections, fervent prayers for deliverance, many benedictions). Anyway, it came to pass that the Devastator was working on the PC next to mine; when he asked me if I could help him print out a document which he e-mailed to me (his account was misconfigured, it appears).

Now, as I printed it out, he stood over me, and ordered me to delete the document (and to show that we are truly a meritocratic environment, he displayed his technical acumen by asking me to empty my Recycle Box.) as it was highly confidential. As I adhere to the highest standards of professional and ethical behaviour, I had kept a copy, and I perused it after the Devastator had rolled off for a power lunch with several other Heavy Tanks and Carryalls.

The document pertained to a global departmental re-org - and as it was a working copy, it included a lot of personal annotations and comments by the Devastator. Most of it was pretty brutally candid denunciations of processes and personal flaws of key individuals. However, what struck me was, under the topic of "Efficiency Gains - Headcount Reduction", a highlighted footnote:

"It would be economically feasible to put some of these poor bastards out of their misery."

Now, at this point I will confess I felt suffused by a radiant awe at the frank and utter evil of the Devastator; and I find myself wondering if that footnote will remain in the final presentation to the Ion Cannon/Weather Dominator/Death's Hand council.

To add insult to injury, the entire initiative has been codenamed, "Project Baboon."

I amused myself for a moment wondering if I was one of the baboons.

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." - Rita Rudner

***

It might just be me, but most historically informed musical performances (HIP) seem to lack body.

The recordings sound lighter and brighter (which is not altogether a bad thing, depending on where you're coming from), and don't seem to be able to display as much warmth as recordings which do not aspire to be historically informed. At first I wondered if using a different frequency for A instead of 440 Hz was responsible, but from my understanding most HIP uses a lower frequency, so that theory doesn't seem to hold much water.

The notes also sound cleaner and purer, perhaps because the sound waves have fewer overtones (forgive me if my physics is faulty). Or perhaps this is due to over-enthusiastic sound engineers.

I do appreciate, though, that the individual sections (and individual instruments, for those with more finely trained aural senses) are more easily discernable, instead of blending into an indistinct whole. Perhaps modern instruments are made to blend, or more likely, it's an effect of using smaller ensembles.

***



William Hung - 5 (?), 3 (?) Mana

Creature - American Idol Legend

When William Hung comes into play target player loses the game.

She Bangs. She Bangs.

***

Sam's Archive

"Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe.

You've seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You've heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.

Fools.

The Earth was built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you've had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I (Sam Hughes) can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore."

***

Poultry Internet

"Poultry are one of the most badly treated animals in the modern world. It has been shown that they have high levels of both cognition and feelings and as a result there has been a recent trend of promoting poultry welfare. There is also a tradition of keeping poultry as pets in some parts of the world. However in modern cities and societies it is often difficult to maintain contact with pets, particularly for office workers. We propose and describe a novel cybernetics system to use mobile and Internet technology to improve human-to-pet interaction. It can also be used for people who are allergic to touching animals and thus cannot stroke them directly. This interaction encompasses both visualization and tactile sensation of real objects. The system overview is shown in Figure 1.It consists of a Office System and a Backyard System

Figure 2 shows in the Office System, where the pet owner touches the doll, and at the same time feels the movement of the doll as driven by a positioning mechanism table. Figure 3 shows the pet (we use a rooster) with a "pet dress" worn on its body. The pet dress consists of electronics that simulates touch (or haptic) sensation. It feels it when the pet owner fondles with the doll in the Office System."

Someone at NUS has a sense of humour! I also like:

Human Pacman

"Permeation of technology into everyday life is made easier when the human experience it creates is made associable with day-to-day encounters. Human Pacman, based on the popular arcade Pacman from the 1980s, is a novel and entertaining game which seeks to bring about such association through stimulating multiple human senses and perception.It is a real-world-physical, social, and wide area mobile entertainment system that is built upon the concepts of ubiquitous computing, tangible human-computer interaction, and wide-area entertainment networks. Human Pacman is pioneering a new form of gaming that anchors on physicality, mobility, social interaction, and ubiquitous computing."

***

Reefer madness - "Lock three men in a room, make them smoke cannabis, and then try to provoke them into being hostile. Thirty years ago a team of American doctors actually conducted this daring experiment. They then described it in a report called Marijuana and Hostility in a Small-Group Setting... "Marijuana produced a small but statistically significant increase in sarcastic communications.""

Scholars to speak intelligibly - "Late in January, Ms. Grande proposed a bill in the North Dakota legislature to prod public institutions of higher education in precisely that direction. Under her bill, if a student complained in writing that his or her instructor did not "speak English clearly and with good pronunciation," that student would then be entitled to withdraw from the class with no academic or financial penalty -- and would even get a refund.... [someone else] found that undergraduates' final grades slid by 0.2 points (on a four-point scale) when they had a foreign-born instructor."
They should try that too in The Premier Institution of Social Engineering! On the same page: read AcidFlask's story in full for the first time. PSC's reply is typical skittish bureaucrat-talk

***

Champions of Natural Law theory might be interested to know that in most primates are either solitary (they don't meet, except to mate) or Group - promiscuous (they live in groups and have sex with everyone). But then, most or perhaps all of them think humans qualitatively different from primates.

***

Other people seem to be ambushed by evangelists quite often, yet I remain safe. I put forward several theories for this:

- My talisman with Descartes on it protects me from evil
- My reputation has spread far and wide
- I don't look depressed - they prey on depressed-looking people
- Men with long hair are shameful


Someone suggested that NUS offer a liberal arts degree - you'd just do USP modules all the way. Interesting, but they'd probably have to charge double the school fees due to the higher faculty:student ratio for all the modules. Maybe, instead of making them do only USP modules, they could mandate some mix of USP modules, GEMs and cross-faculty modules.

I saw an old man with severe keloidosis - his whole head was filled with huge globular keloids, which meant his hair only grew in patches. Just thinking of it still makes my skin crawl.


Quotes:

real'lee'tee (reality)

spew'ryears (spurious)

Statisticians always tend to ignore the econometricians

Spear man (Spearman - this is someone's name)

A supervisor is someone you have to work with. So it has to be someone reasonably congenial.

There are some questions that you can't answer in an academic context. Where did I come from? Who am I?

I'm not a biologist but I know I'm very similar to a pig.

[On a psychological experiment] Some of them, especially the guys, were quite sad because they thought they were gonna meet a girl.

We always use American books, so we have American data. I'm trying to write a book. So maybe when your children come here to do Economics they will use my book.

fuels (fuel)

Any comments on the figures? Very exciting. You don't think so? You're all falling asleep.

How come the richer people spend less [of their income] on health? Are they healthier?

They don't have much money, you know. All around the world... Tobacco taxation is regressive... Beer and cigarettes are important sources of recreation for the lower income groups.

There are goods goods and bads goods (good, bad)

[On CPF topups and lower income groups] For them it's very important. The next day they withdraw it and it's all gone.

Hay'gern Dazs was actually a nobody. Then they changed their name to something exotic [ie 'Häagen-Dazs'] (Häagen-Dazs)

You go to Mandarin, how much is the chicken rice? $15. Whereas if you eat here [the Arts Canteen]... Here is not so good.

Even the University has a hire and fire system. So if you don't see me anymore, I got fired.

He is in search for the absolute truth (of, absolute)

Plair'toe (Plato)

We don't take things that we know are unreasonable and try to make them sound reasonable. Despite all the articles that I've given you that may make you think that, that's not what we're trying to do.

Could I possibly go out on a limb here? The terms are too broad? 'Truth'?, in an 8 page essay?

People are extraordinarily not stupid, despite evidence to the contrary.

[On an essay on robots] I'm using Nagel [which doesn't talk about robots] and that text. [Me: What does the text say about robots?]... [Professor: Good. What does this text say about robots?] The text doesn't say anything about robots.

You can laugh to your parents exponentially, where you can laugh to your boyfriend only linearly (love, while you can love)

The peak and the tr'ow (trough)

The Passion Correlation Coefficient (Pearson)

The first number is force. The second number is nice. (four, nine)

Today is our last lecture. You can celebrate after this.

Every firm in the industry is so doing. (doing so)

I don't know why it is jug'ter'pose here (juxtaposed)

impirical (empirical)

These people have no alternative use for their talent: no transfer payments... After a while Tiger Woods becomes a coach. He earns very much less, but he has already made his millions. He'll sell some clothes and all of you will buy.

See'ah'co (Seattle)

Sair'teris paribus (Ceteris)

The union can also tries (try)

[On labour unions] Singapore is a unique case. The workers are all hammered into compliance.

There are 4 short answer questions. You have no choice... Everything will be tested. *laughter from audience*

There will be 20 short answer questions (MCQs)

Make sure your calculator can do those power things. A simple calculator: plus, minus, times, divide - you will be in trouble.

Make sure that you quickly sketched it (sketch)

Do you want to switch papers? I'm writing a paper on anime, sex and pornography.

Actually you are graded on your class participation. Most of you don't talk. Now it's too late.

Viz a vihz the US dollar (Viz a viz)

When we exports goods to them (export)

There are very much details involved (many)

They let our Singapore dollar fluk'cheh'ate (fluctuate)

[After the last lecture before the final] You won't be tested on this topic [, this is how I got you to come to class and pay attention, muahaha!]

[On Singapore only controlling inflation] The whole gair'mute of things you learn in your textbook. All the monetary and fiscal policy... Singapore is a small country.

Your response paper is also due. You will get it back on the day of the exam. *cries of consternation* After the exam.

[On assignments] I know you'll stay up all night doing it. That's why my assignments are always due at midnight. It's not healthy.

[On proper replies in conversation] He could have said 'Charlemagne'. He could have juggled onions. He could have tap-danced.

One group term paper (4,889 words) economically analysing the proposed Casino down.

- One response paper on an as yet undecided topic (~1,100 words, due 11th Apr. Status: Not begun.)
- One lens analysis essay (~1,800-2700 words, Peer Review draft due tomorrow [Status: Done, for what it's worth], First Draft due 8th Apr and Final Draft due ~20th Apr [Status: Not begun, since this third essay will probably, like the first two 'first drafts', have to be rewritten.])
- And one term paper on the Evolution of Morality (~2,500 words, due 14th-15th Apr. Status: Not begun, though I've dug up some very old Closed Stack books) to go.

Gah.

At least, of my 4 exams, 2 are open book. I've 7 full days to mug for my open book statistics test, which is also my last paper, yay.

Oh, and I'll be in the Smithsonian in about a month and a half, 11 years after my last ignominous visit.

"Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian." - Lee Simonson

***

"your latest picture trods on the very fine line of sensitivity and political correctness...though of course those are the last two things i expect to see in your blog"

"my god. your lecturer was a fulbright scholar. what's he doing in NUS??"


Someone: "'The camerlengo, now Cardinal Eduardo Martinez Somalo of Spain, must then verify the death — a process which in the past was done by striking the forehead of the pope with a silver hammer." (source)

if he wasn't dead, after the hammering, he would be!'

***

Of all the rants posted on sg_ljers, this must be one of the most misguided:

"On NS issues
Since the media is watching, hopefully this will be published and be brought up to parliament soon.

A group of us think it is very unfair that the SAF reduced the NSF service liability to 2 years and increased NSF's salary and yet does nothing to compensate NS men.

We ORDed in june 2002, one month just before SAF raised the salary of all NSFs. Our final month's corporal salary was less than what a recruit enlisted in july 2002 got. As if it's not infuriating enough, we served the full 2 1/2 years (enlisted dec 1999) while NSFs now only serve 2 years.

Talking about opportunity cost, that's wasting 6 months worth of our precious TIME and taking 6 more months of shit as compared to the chalet lifestyle that NSFs these days are enjoying. In terms of monetary figures, taking a fresh graduate's pay of $2k as a gauge, that equates to $12k loss in job revenue.

My question is: With the welfare that they are giving to NSFs, shouldn't they compensate the NSmen in some way as well, in terms of reducing/eliminating our NS liability (since 2weeks of reservist every year * 13 years = 26weeks = exactly 6months) or backpay? Either that or they should increase the NS liability to 52 weeks for those enlisted from july 2002 onwards.

By the way: They only paid about $9 for a NS corporal to go take his IPPT now. WTF?"


My response (a glorified rehash of an old post):

"So what if other people suffered and are suffering less than you? Does a reduction in other people's suffering increase yours?

This is the sort of attitude - "since I had to suffer so much, other people must also suffer, or it will have been unfair to me!" that makes the human condition so miserable.

No matter when they had implemented the indenture reduction and pay raise, people who had finished their time in the not-so-gilded cage would have complained. What, then? Continue making everyone suffer more than the Powers That Be decree that they absolutely have to?

I suppose you also recommend that contemporary Chinese women bind their feet, otherwise it would have been "unfair" to the Chinese women of ages past who had theirs bound.

If, when a policy is changed, all who had previously had to suffer under the old policy had to be compensated, I wager we'd see much less change and progress in society.

'You young women are so lucky in getting to vote! In my day, we were disenfranchised. I demand that for each election we missed, we get paid remunerations!'

Bah."

Others in the thread seem to share my sentiments.

[Addendum: I like this comment:

"The NS cycle has also been revised from 9 high keys and 4 low keys training to 5 high keys, 3 low keys and 3 Basic Individual Training.

So, does that mean that you should be drawing even lesser for your ippt stint and do more high key trainings?

If one day they decided to increase to 3 years or more, do you want to compensate the difference?"]

***

Someone sent me this picture and commented that it would be a good wallpaper. Apparently he was unaware of the provenance of said picture.

My, oh my, word does spread.

***

On the appendix:

"Appendix: the appendix is part of the lymphatic system that is otherwise found in many parts of aour body (to drain liquids from tissues). Removal of the appendix usually has no effect on the performance of a person. However, lots of people have died because the blood circulation to the appendix is so poor that infections are common. If an intelligent designer wanted a larger lymphatic system this goal could easily be accomplished, but using a blind sac connected to the digestive tract with poor supply of blood vessels is probably the dumbest way I can think off. Instead, the appendix happens to be found in a part of the digestive tract where other mammals have a much larger blind sac for digestion. So, what is more likely: that the designer had a bad day or the appendix in humans is the remnant of its former glory? That's up to you to decide..."

Heh.


And a discussion on... Nipples!

A: I know im going to get a can of whoopass for this, but, man nipples = TEH SEXY? so much so they decided to put the nipples on batman armor (disclaimer: comment is NOT reflective of forumer's tastes!). That has got to count for something. Therefore nipples = sexual ornament for males?

Making this a little more fun, lets have a little poll: Are nipples on man considered sexy?

Since im not so free as o photoshop-edit out the nipples in a topless man vs the same with nipples, im using this: Attached below are the pictures of

A)NON NIPPLED-BATMAN and

B) NIPPLED BATMAN.

WHICH, IN YOUR OPINION, IS SEXIER?

Unfortunately i cant think of a control example. but still...

All ye forumers, flame me not, and cast your votes! After polls we might discover the truth to the vestigial mammary glands in males then..

B: Hmm, I would suppose so, not because of aesthetics or individual preferences, but because of the intrinsic connection between prime erogeneous zones and sexual appeal. These parts of our body contain the most nerve endings and feature prominently in sexual stimulation. Research has shown that there is also a direct connection between the response to stimulus of a particular body part and the likelihood that the subject considers this feature 'sexy' in others. For instance, if a woman gets a huge turn on from having her neck stimulated, she might consider the neck to be a sexy feature on guys. This was quite a leaky argument, I remember it being 'bombed' quite badly but it serves an uillustrative purpose here. The link to physical arousal thus leads us to characterise certain body parts as 'sexy' even though they have no absolute function during sexual reproduction.

C: nipples may be 'sexy' in the sense that *** said, that they contain a large concentration of nerve endings. but i disagree male nipples play any role in sexual selection in modern times. they're not at all visible in most social situations, yet people still get attracted to each other in spite of this. whatever meaning they have in men is probably insignificant compared to other modes of sexual selection (broad shoulders, deep voice, pecs etc.)

ps. i vote yes

D: I guess they do have their direct functions in sexual reproduction, by having many nerve endings on the nipples (just my speculation, pls correct if needed) the brain will receive the information that sex is on the way and then will order the appropriate organ to release certain hormones. Thus the feeling and calling of something such as nipples as sexy.

E: Am not too sure I find Batman--whether with or sans nipples sexy, so I'll absatin from voting. But I do think nipples on a man are sexy. And you should poll the guys--they will tell you that they are also one of the chief erogenous zones on the body (for men more so than for women). So.. you draw your own conclusions about them being redundant =)

F: how do u know nipples are more impt erogeneous zones for men than for women? cuz women have more?

G: Well i guess they put nipples on the batman armour to make it look more like a man, to make the character more realistic and less cartoonish more than to make him look sexier. However, this vestigial mammary gland of men probably had some significant use in the past? Men with nipples indeed appear sexier but don't all men have nipples? hmm..

H: Wait, wait, I'm confused now-- are you trying to say that male nipples have a purpose in that they increase the sexual attractiveness of a man?

Because, Batman aside, I've yet to see a man who doesn't have nipples, so I'm not sure if this counts as a sexual selection trait?


(But I vote for the nipples anyway.)

I: maybe nipples arent really sexual displays, as someone pointed out; if you found your date had no nipples, you wouldnt be thinking "hmm, not so sexy after all", you'd probably be thinking "FREAK." Like someone with no nose. More of defect than anything else. And so comes this question: IS the male nipple really useless after all (other than sexual stimulus)? Or, im thinking, does it serve some obscure endocrine purpose, even if diminished somewhat?

J: Nipples Nipples Nipples...I think men look better with nipples, but definitely not on the armor! So I would have to go for A cos the pic of Batman with nipples on his armor looks like a total freak..He probably uses them to distract his enemies....That's my thought.

***

The Encounter - a priest encounters some not-so-gullible townsfolk.

"Townsman 1: We had a brutal murder here a few years ago . . . a man threatened to kill his own daughter if she left the house that night. She left the house to go be with her friends, and when she came back he killed her. I would not call that a loving parent, even if the child did disobey. No all-loving creature would do that, or permit that. Never.

Priest: It's you who chooses whether or not to go to hell; God only complies with your wishes!

T1: That's the excuse the killer tried to use, believe it or not. He said that he gave his daughter a clear choice, informed her of the consequences of her actions, and simply complied with her wishes. Needless to say, the jury didn't accept it.

Townsman 2: Besides, none of us believed that this guy existed before you came, and none of us were infinitely tortured.

P: No; you go to hell after you die.

Townsman 3: After you die? How can you feel any pain after you die? Your tactile senses are physical, just like your other senses.

P: Your soul feels the pain of--

T2: But souls are immaterial, so how can they feel anything without physical sense organs?"

***

Enhanced searching with Firefox - "Now Google's faster than ever on Firefox and Mozilla browsers. When you do a search on these browsers, we instruct them to download your top search result in advance, so if you click on it, you'll get to that page even more quickly."
Finally, a major site uses pre-fetching!

Mammon was not originally a demon but simply the Syrian term for 'money' or 'riches'... By biblical exegesis and popular misunderstanding he developed a variety of corrupt names which flourished in a number of demonologies, and eventually he emerged in popular consciousness as the demon of money, riches and covetousness; or (more precisely) the demon of love of money.

Cold hands, warm heart - "A lovestruck American who tried to walk from North Dakota to Winnipeg is recovering from severe frostbite in a hospital in Manitoba... The 41-year-old self-employed mechanic has a robbery conviction that means he can't legally enter Canada."

Lawyer: Pair tried to save Mr. Kibbles - "Police reports, however, say Cortes was upset that the cat used his new pickup truck as a litter box, and that Zukerman lured Mr. Kibbles to Cortes by baiting him with a bowl of cat food and drawing him from his home in the Victoria Isles town house complex. Cortes then snatched the cat up, drove it 15 miles west on Lox Road out to the Everglades and dumped it, according to police reports."

No getting stoned in new Bible - "For centuries scholars have argued over the most delicate nuances of biblical texts, passionately debating whether key words should be tweaked to reflect cultural changes. But, despite the fervent exchange of such learned views, there has been no fretting about whether the Bible endorses dope-smoking. Until now. A 15-strong panel of eminent theologians and linguists was so concerned that young people reading the Bible today are confusing the phrase 'stoned' not with Old Testament executions but with drugs, that it has suggested a radical clarification to a forthcoming edition of the sacred text."

Malaysia car thieves steal finger - "Police in Malaysia are hunting for members of a violent gang who chopped off a car owner's finger to get round the vehicle's hi-tech security system."
The darker side of fingerprint recognition systems.

Google Gulp - "At Google our mission is to organize the world's information and make it useful and accessible to our users. But any piece of information's usefulness derives, to a depressing degree, from the cognitive ability of the user who's using it. That's why we're pleased to announce Google Gulp (BETA)™ with Auto-Drink™ (LIMITED RELEASE), a line of "smart drinks" designed to maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, and less thirsty."

Koran scholar: US will cease to exist in 2007 - "A thorough analysis of the Koran reveals that the US will cease to exist in the year 2007, according to research published by Palestinian scholar Ziad Silwadi."

The top search result on Google for "the truth shall set you free" is an anti-religious site. Eheh.

Word of the day: "amanuensis"

"Singapore adheres to the one man one vote principle: LKY is the Man, he has the vote."

placeholder quote for want of anything meaningful to write.

Christianity and its Adherents (Updated: 11:49PM)

***

Prompted by the latest bout of evangelism on the Young Republic, I have finished the sequel to Christianity and its Discontents: Christianity and its Adherents, which explores possible reasons why Christianity is so popular, especially with the young.

It's a little short though, I feel. Additional points are actively solicited.

***

Having examined why so much animosity exists in certain quarters towards the Christian faith and its adherents, we now proceed to examine why people take up and retain said faith.

It can be observed that in recent decades, the more traditional churches have been losing mindshare as more modern establishments have arisen. This is evident from, among other things, falling church attendence in Europe where most churches remain traditional, while across the Atlantic, where churches are more in tune with the prevailing zeitgeist, there has even been a religious revival of sorts. Since it is the more modern churches which are gaining in mindshare, the following analysis will inevitably be biased towards their techniques and characteristics.

There has been a great explosion of Christianity in Africa and the Third World, but being unacquainted with the circumstances of those places and the nature of Christianity there, I feel unable to comment with any degree of authority or certainty, except to note the amount of work done by Christian missionaries there and the relative absence of activity from representitives of other faiths. It would be safe to say, though, that at least some of the factors listed below can help to account for the growth of African Christianity.


1. Constant evangelism

Joseph Goebbels remarked that if you repeat a big lie often enough, people will eventually come to believe it. Whether or not what evangelists repeat is a lie or otherwise, the fact is that they assuredly repeat it often enough.

When one is ambushed often enough while walking down corridors, or receives enough pamphlets and flyers, one might be persuaded to the point of view that is relentlessly paraded in front of him. The persuasive power of such evangelism is also increased when it comes from the target's friends, family members or other associates, especially if pressure (implicit or explicit) is applied, or when one is preyed upon in the wake of personal disaster and tragedy (eg A death in the family, bankruptcy, illness etc)


2. Slick Marketing

Modern churches and modern christianity has imbibed many of the lessons of modern marketing. For example, Christian Music, known as Praise and Worship, is very different from the church hymms of yesteryear, with genres such as Christian rock often being well-nigh indistinguishable from mainstream music, save for their lyrics. When churches move with the times, they can even appear "cool", especially compared to such stodgy activities as burning joss sticks and "devil worshipping". In this respect, the examination of the activities and services of such churches as City Harvest would be especially educational, especially their preaching of a gospel of prosperity and success.

The Charismatic movement in particular especially has learnt well the lessons of marketing, offering solid "proof" of "miracles", such as talking in tongues, healings, exorcisms, visions and the like. Advertising the "healing power of Christ" and other such tangibles, they make church a tangible, emotionally rousing and moving experience through rallies, revivals and other such mass mobilisation events, ensuring that mindshare is kept.


3. Comfort and company

The comfort and company offered by Christianity can be divided into two categories: social and divine.

Regardless of what one might say about the joys of relationships with divine beings, the social rewards of being a Christian on earth are evident. Churches are veritable social and social support networks, with some young people even going to them primarily for socialisation. Community, company and support are thus provided for adherents, and a sense of identity and belonging can also be had; with the declining importance of familial kinship in modern societies, churches can step in to fill that gap.

Just as with fax machines, SMSes and email, there is a strong network effect with churches: the more people in a church, the greater the social benefits of joining one; if all your friends are Christian, being non-Christian would at the very least diminish the opportunities you have to interact with them.

As for the divine aspect of comfort and company, modern Christianity is marketed as being a "relationship" with a personal god, rather than a "religion" dedicated to a distant one. There is thus a feeling of being loved, valued, watched out and cared for by a higher being: much more attention is lavished on the Christian than on members of other religions.


4. Intimidation, fear and Stockholm Syndrome

One method of converting people to your cause is by intimidating and threatening them. Talking darkly of the horrors of hell, or of how those not "saved" will suffer on Judgment Day persuades some to take the ticket to salvation.

There is also Stockholm Syndrome, a survival mechanism of captives where they sympathise with their captors, that kicks in when the following conditions are met:

* Perceived threat to survival and the belief that one's captor is willing to act on that threat (Read: Sending sinners to hell)
* The captive's perception of small kindnesses from the captor within a context of terror (Read: 'Grace')
* Isolation from perspectives other than those of the captor (Read: Few Christians read non-Christian views)
* Perceived inability to escape. (Read: An omnipotent god)


5. Seemingly simple answers to existential questions and surrender

On Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, once one's Physiological Needs (eg Food, water, shelter) are fulfilled, one seeks to fulfill the needs of Safety, Love, Esteem and Self-Actualisation. Christianity helps with this fulfilment: Safety ('Knowing' that a god is watching out for you and that there's a life after death), Love ('Knowing' that the Christian God loves you, Esteem ('Knowing' that the Christian god values you) and finally Self-actualisation ('Knowing' the meaning of life, being fulfilled etc).

Man might not live by bread alone, but the higher concerns in life are not pressing when one does not have enough bread to eat, so we see that as societies develop and the problem of day-to-day survival is resolved, existential angst sets in. This is especially important in societies such as (say) Singapore, where many have mortgaged their souls in the mindless pursuit of materialism, which leaves people feeling empty, defiled and alienated. People want to believe; they need to believe.

This might also be a result of the engineering mentality: people do not think about questions like the meaning of life, what truth is et al, because they're taught not to, so they are effective sponges for what they're told, not having been trained in the process of free inquiry.

This is where Christianity comes in, as it offers answers to the problems of existential angst and Self-actualisation. All questions are resolved by looking to the Christian god and trusting in his "plan" for one's life; a possible alternative - thinking that no higher powers exist, that one's consciousness disappears once one dies, and that there is no ultimate meaning of life is deeply troubling, even unsatisfying, and so the simpler answer is sought and clung to. The Christian thus feels at ease and has a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that his problems are resolved; the bliss of surrender and ignorance is a heady opiate indeed, as one becomes a mindless sheep and does not need to think, merely to accept and submit. However, in reality said problems have not been resolved, but merely ignored, or at least answered simplistically, which nonetheless is a great attraction in a complex world.


6. Disingenuous arguments and logicide

Christianity has a two millennia old tradition of apologetics which remains very active today. This tradition has come up with many disingenuous, yet complex and seemingly robust, answers to many challenges to faith and doctrine. It is thus quite hard to debunk said arguments, and much simpler to just accept them at face value despite the logicide being committed (Some examples may be found in my review of George Smith's Atheism: The Case Against God).

Apologetics also works in Christianity's favour because apologetics makes it seem more rational and logical, at least at a cursory glance, than other religions, thus helping to convert some fringe skeptics.

Even if the disingenuous arguments of apologetics break down, there is a possible fallback to the condemnation of logic and reason, and trusting in faith; this misology - hate and/or denigration of reason - is indeed at the heart of much Christian theology.


7. Natural evolution of religion

Sociological theories have it that as societies develop, so do the social institutions of religion, which progress from simple supernaturalism to animism, to polytheism, then monotheism and finally to transcendent idealism. The movement towards Christianity is thus a natural progression in the social evolution of religion (though I am not so sure about the final postulated stage in societal evolution).


8. Emotional outlet

Modern Christianity allows, even encourages unrestrained emotionalism. The open display of such emotionalism is frowned on in modern society, and religion is one of the few socially sanctioned outlets for it.

The latest bout of evangelism on the Young Republic mailing list:

***

A: Given that Jesus makes a claim to our lives, asking us to enter into a love relationship with him, what we see in Song of Songs is that initially, the Beloved is unready to accept her Lover - she fails to open the door. This isn't a matter of opening the door to a one night stand, but to a lifelong relationship. The result of the Beloved not opening the door to the Lover is she is lost, looking for him, and receives a good beating. The stakes are higher if we reject Jesus: he says that "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him." (John 3:36)

But why is this the case? Why does God's wrath fall on anyone if He really is a loving God? Can't he just allow us to get along as we deem fit? Shouldn't the Lover sort himself out if the Beloved wants to go solo? The answer is that crimes deserve punishment - and we have committed crimes against God by rejecting his rightful authority over our lives, whether we resent this statement or not. And that God is just, and cannot let these crimes go unpunished. In His mercy, however, we are given a choice - between either:

1) following Jesus, and being made acceptable to God by Jesus' paying for our crimes dearly - his death on a cross - or

2) rejecting Jesus, and rejecting God.

Coming back to Song of Songs, it is clear that if we seek Jesus he will rescue us from paying the penalty for our crimes against God, even as the Lover arrives in splendour in Chapter 6 - no matter how many times we turn away or are too hesitant, if we seek Him He will save us.

On a final note, and returning to the earlier mentioned issue of erotic love, some recurring themes in the book should be noted. In chapters 2:7, 3:5, and again in 8:4, there is this warning:

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

> I trust I do not need to elaborate on the symbolism of the

...passage here (there is none). Rather, this is a clear warning that erotic love is not something to be entered into lightly; this Song is no longer a hedonistic celebration of 'love' - we are not told to lay off "until WE so desire" but rather, until love does.

So: What does God have to do with sex? It is easy to believe 'Nothing' is the answer, that God is too Holy and Pure for sex, and man should make up his or her own mind to celebrate it or not as they deem fit, but the truth seems otherwise - as the Bible shows us (and not only in Song of Songs) - it has its rightful place, and can even be celebrated.

What does God have to do with love? Everything: Jesus, the Lover, stands at the door for each of us, and waits for our response.

A

P.S. for answers to questions such as:
"How can love - an abstract concept? - desire anything?"
"What do you mean, 'Christianity is the only truth'?"
and "Who was Jesus anyways?",
feel free to email me


B: Oh dear, you have taken an allegorical interpretation of SoS. Most scholars no longer take this view since there is nothing in the text which invites one to take such a reading. There are symbols, yes, but there is nothing at all to suggest that the whole thing is a code for some sort of evangelical outburst. (Though may puritan writers in the past have had an obsession with making this poem allegorical, for obvious reasons.)

On the contrary, this is merely a very nice little poem about two loverly/horny young persons who defy social convention, showing that "love is stronger than death, [...] many waters cannot quench love, etc etc". So, sort of like an ancient Romeo and Juliet. And why is their love not socially conventional? Note that:

1. The beloved is not conventionally attractive
2. THEY ARE UNMARRIED

Let me dwell on the second point which was my intention in bringing up SoS. It is clear that the couple are unmarried. The lover searches for the beloved in the middle of the night, then disappears for some reason. When the beloved searches for him in the streets, she is beaten up by the nightwatchmen.

If they were married, they would be a *most* unconventional couple. Furthermore, it is (quite) clear that they have sex, albeit hidden in the fields and in some spice garden (though this spice garden/mountain may be a euphemism for the female body, no consensus on this point).

Therefore, this poem celebrates the socially unconventional and consummated erotic love of an unmarried couple. (Although admittedly they seem to intend to get married but in any case they are unmarried at the time of having sex). This is why I suggested it might provide a different perspective from that expressed by other Christians, whose thoughts on the subject tend to be dominated by Augustine and his synthesis between pagan and gnostic positions on sex.


Oh and another thing, as for:

> "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
> Do not arouse or awaken love
> until it so desires."

This is *not* about waiting till marriage at all. She is having her fun with her lover at night (and it must be at night since it is clandestine since they are not married). Hence:

6 Until the day breaks

and the shadows flee,

I will go to the mountain of myrrh

and to the hill of incense.

7 All beautiful you are, my darling;

there is no flaw in you.

So, she tells them not to awake "love" (i.e. the couple) until they are done with their fun. The "love" here is a metaphor for their conjoined bodies.

If you are in any doubt that they have sex, pls refer to the other quote I provided, where the lover describes his beloved as a palm tree and her breasts as clusters of fruit. He then says he will climb the tree and take hold of its fruit. This is an obvious allusion to sex:

7 Your stature is like that of the palm,

and your breasts like clusters of fruit.

8 I said, "I will climb the palm tree;

I will take hold of its fruit."

May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,

the fragrance of your breath like apples,

9 and your mouth like the best wine.

In another passage there is another explicit allusion to sex, though this time the beloved plans a dirty weekend of sorts -- running away to the countryside at night to frolic in the moonlight:

11 Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside,

let us spend the night in the villages. [b]

12 Let us go early to the vineyards

to see if the vines have budded,

if their blossoms have opened,

and if the pomegranates are in bloom-

there I will give you my love.

So, let's see: they are unmarried, they meet each other mostly at night, they like going into secret spice gardens and orchards alone at night, and at one point the beloved says "our bed is verdant". Hmmm, *what* could they be doing?


C: B's interpretation of the Songs of Solomon (if I understood B correctly, that is) shows how dangerous it is to read only one segment of the Bible and attempt to come to a conclusion regarding God's general will on something (in this case, premarital sex).

God's moral principle with regards to sex is clearly spelt out in the Bible: sex is meant only for a man and a woman, and only in a marriage. The author of Hebrews puts forth this principle plainly in verse 4 of chapter 13:

"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge." (NASB)

Fornication is the biblical term for pre-marital sex. It happens when two unmarried persons engage in sex. There isn't a shred of doubt that the Bible forbids this. Adultery refers to a married person having sex with somebody other than his or her spouse.

Here, the Bible does not intend to leave us guessing. "God will judge" these two groups of people, for they have neither held marriage in honor, nor left the marriage bed undefiled.

That God hates homosexual sex (note, I say here, homosexual sex and not homosexuals) is even clearer.

In the Old Testament, Leviticus 18:22 says (here the listener is assumed to be a man), "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a women; that is detestable." (NIV)

In the New Testament, Romans 1:26-27 reads, "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion." (NIV)

Homosexual sex, the Bible unequivocally states, is a sin, detested by God.

Sex, according to the Bible, is meant only between a man and a woman, and only in a marriage. Anything outside of this boundary is sin.

I do not wish to be accused of imposing my morals on anyone. What I merely seek to do, is to declare the moral standards of God, for this is the standard by which we will be judged on the day of wrath, whether or not you choose to believe it.

And when that day comes, only those who have Christ have hope.

C.


Me (You just knew this was coming, didn't you?): "*lengthy apologetics by A*"

If you want to do textual analysis, we can do textual analysis :) You may not like what you find, though - Paul's purely spiritual resurrection, for example.


"A good place to look for an explanation might be elsewhere in the Bible: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:20, NIV)

Anyone can spot the uncanny parallel between the two passages."

Considering the fact that Song of Songs was written before 930 BC and Revelation was written almost a millennium later, and that the pothead who wrote it surely had access to Song of Songs, I find that no surprise. This is just like how the author of Luke had a (mistranslated) copy of Isaiah and misinterpreted it, which was how a young woman bearing a child during King Ahaz's reign was transmogrified into a virgin bearing a child who would becoming the Messiah...


"That God hates homosexual sex (note, I say here, homosexual sex and not homosexuals) is even clearer."

It is as clear, if not clearer, that the Christian god hates dogs, believes women to be inferior, and condemns non-believers to eternal torment in hell.


`When /I/ use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'

`The question is,' said Alice, `whether you /can/ make words mean so many different things.'

`The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master -- that's all.'

--- Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

I do not mind being accused of offending anyone (Cthulhu knows we have enough of that going on on this list). What I merely seek to do is to get people thinking about things that they might never have thought about before, and to represent a different view from one that gets ample representation here.

Belief doth not change objective reality, no matter how strong it might be.


"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." - 1 Corinthians 13:11


P.S. for answers to questions such as:

"Is it valid to reason: 'I think Evolution is bullshit because I've misunderstood and misrepresented it, and therefore I conclude that the Christian god must exist, though even if Evolution is bullshit, life on earth could have been seeded by aliens, warped in from an alternate dimension or been started by one of the tens of thousands of gods from the other religions, or even the deistic God'?"

"Why would an omnibenevolent god make imperfect humans, blame them for his own mistakes and then condemn all who did not believe in him to infinite punishment for finite sin (if indeed such can be said to be sin at all)""

"Why do people interpret literally the fanciful writings of ancient Hebrews looking at the sky and the world and coming up with 'just so' stories, including the world being flat and there being a firmament in the sky from which rain falls, even when they're plainly ridiculous?"

"What do you mean, 'Gods don't exist'?"

and "Why do some non-Christians get so pissed off by Christians",

feel free to email me (or for the last, you can read 'Christianity and its Discontents' -
[http://gssq.blogspot.com/2005/03/christianity-and-its-discontents-also.html])


P.P.S: For reference: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/



We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.