老婆, 情人和红颜知己 (Wives, lovers and beautiful soulmates)

"Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us." - Henrik Tikkanen

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From an article someone sent me (translation below):

什么是老婆？就是你愿意把你的积蓄交给她保管孩子放心让她养的女人；什么是情人？就是你偷偷摸摸地去和她约会又很怕老婆撞见的女人；什么是红颜知己？就是你愿意把你的秘密和她分享，却不能和老婆、情人分享的女人。

老婆对你是一种约束，约束你不能随便和别的女人眉来眼去；情人是一种补偿，补偿你想从老婆那得到却又无法得到的东西；红颜知己就是一种点拨，点开你心中的迷茫、拨动你的心弦。

老婆是陪你过平淡日子的女人，情人是陪你吃、喝、玩、乐潇洒过日子的女人；红颜知己是陪你聊聊天、谈谈心的女人；很多时候老婆不能代替情人，因为她没有情人的浪漫和温馨；情人也不能代替老婆，因为她没有老婆的亲情和执着；老婆和情人都代替不了红颜知己，那是因为人最真实的灵魂需要的东西。

老婆是一个和你没有一点血缘关系的女人，却为你的安全、健康牵肠挂肚的女人；情人是一个和你没有一点血缘、亲情关系的女人，却能让你找到做男人的尊严和尽情消魂的女人；红颜知己是一个还没有和你有任何关系的女人，但你愿意把人心最真实的一面展示给她，愿意让她分享你的快乐和忧愁。

老婆是一个温馨城堡；情人是开心果、很多时候也是累赘，但是不到万不得已你不愿丢弃；红颜知己是你的精神支柱，失去她你对生活没有了往日激情、你会觉得孤独寂寞，觉得生活没有味道。

有是老婆的关心像一杯白开水，淡而无味；情人的关心就像烈酒，很容易陶醉；红颜知己的关心像咖啡，有苦也有甜，越喝越精神。

老婆出差一个星期不回来你也不会想，情人三天不见你就会心慌。现在的你最想找到红颜知己倾诉，告诉她你对妻子的不舍；情人的无赖。

让男人最受不了的是老婆的唠叨，情人的眼泪，红颜知己的误解。老婆的唠叨让心烦的男人心更烦，情人的眼泪让男人的心波涛汹涌，很难做出决定。红颜知己的误解把男人的心由悬崖推下了无底的深渊。

最好的老婆，就是从她身上能找到情人和红颜知己的感觉，只是这种女人很难找到。最好的情人是在你和她的关系被老婆发现而主动退出又不提任何要求的女人，只是一般的情人做不到这点。最好的红颜知己是有一天她能成为情人，甚至妻子，只是这种想法很难实现.

如果有可能，都在想把红颜知己变成情人，如果再有可能，再把她变成妻子。只是变成妻子的红颜知己就不再是知己了，因为很少有男人把自己的老婆当成知己的。

娶一个老婆是为了怕别人说闲话，找一个情人是为了给平淡的生活加点调味剂，交一个红颜知己是想给自己空虚的灵魂找一点安慰。男人一生都在寻找的不是一个妻子，也不是一个情人，而是一个甚至更多的红颜知己。


Translation:

What is a wife? One to whom you entrust the management of your savings and the upbringing of your children; what is a lover? One with whom you have secret rendezvous, terrified that your wife will bump into her; what is a beautiful soulmate? One with whom you will share secrets that are not for your wife or lover.

The wife is a form of bind on you, bounding you to not randomly ogle other women; the lover is a form of compensation, giving you what you want but cannot get from your wife; the beautiful soulmate is a form of instruction, rousing you from your stupor and plucking your heartstrings [Ed: There seems to be a form of wordplay here, as "点拨" means something different from "点" and "拨"].

The wife is the woman keeps you company in everyday life, the lover is the woman who eats, drinks and makes merry with you; the beautiful soulmate is the woman who chats with you and talks of matters close to your heart; very often the wife cannot replace the lover, because she doesn't have the lover's romance and soft warmth; at the same time, the lover cannot replace the wife, as she doesn't have the wife's affection and determination; neither the wife or the lover can replace the beautiful soulmate, because that is the most genuine desire of the soul.

The wife has no blood relationship with you, but will worry for your safety and health; the lover has no blood or family relationship with you, but will allow you to get the respect of being a man as well as letting you embody the charm of being a man; the beautiful soulmate has no other relationship with you yet, yet you will show her your most honest aspect and let her share both your joy and sorrow.

The wife is a cozy castle; the lover is a fruit of happiness [Ed: Alternatively, "pistachio"], who very often is cumbersome, but whom you will not jettison unless in extremis; the beautiful soulmate is the foundation of your vigour - losing her, you will not have the passion that you had in the past, you will feel lonely and lose your joie de vivre.

Some wives' care is like a glass of tap water, bland and tasteless; the lover's care is like strong liquor, easy to get drunk on; the beautiful soulmate's care is like coffee - both bitter and sweet, and invigorating.

When the wife leaves on a work trip for a week, you won't think of her; if you do not see your lover for 3 days you will be flustered. Your utmost desire will be to find your beautiful soulmate and pour out your feelings to her, telling her of your dismay with your wife, and your lover's shamelessness.

What enervates men most of all is their wife's nagging, their lover's tears, and their beautiful soulmate's misunderstanding. The wife's nagging makes the frustrated man even more frustrated; the lover's tears make a man's heart surge, rendering him incapable of making a decision. The beautiful soumate's misunderstanding sends a man's heart off the cliff, plummeting into the abyss.

The best wife is one in whom you find the lover and the beautiful soulmate, but this sort of woman is very hard to find. The best lover is the one who disappears with no other requests when your wife discovers your affair, but most lovers cannot do this. The best beautiful soulmate is one who can become a lover, or even a wife, one day, but this mindset rarely manifests.

If it's possible, everyone thinks of turning the beautiful soulmate into the lover; if even more is possible, turning her into the wife. Only - the beautiful soulmate who has turned into a wife will no longer be a soulmate, because very few men treat wives as soulmates.

One marries a wife because one is afraid of others' idle gossip; one finds a lover to spice up the blandness of everday life; one consorts with a beautiful soulmate to find some comfort for the emptiness of one's soul. What men are looking for all their lives is not a wife, nor even a lover, but a beautiful soulmate who is even more.


Ed: Some of the translation has been improved, and the final 2 paragraphs that were missing from the version that the person sent me have been added back.