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Macau
Day 1 - 26th February - Macau by Night (Part 2)
I then visited that iconic sight of Macau - the 17th century ruins of St Paul's.
In the square below the ruins: Monument to the Original SPG
Statue of upskirted girl and her dog (?!)
Ruins of St Paul's from below
Note the Chinese New Year decorations blighting this historic landmark
Calçada de S. Paulo (Road for cars parallel to staircase up to the Ruins); cobblestoned roads make me nostalgic. They are possibly also safer for pedestrians since the cobbles slow cars down.
One of the joys of life - getting cold water from the tap. Though in this case the condensation is due more to the humidity of the air than the coldness of the water.
Rua de S. Paulo: "Medicine No Fakes". This does not inspire confidence. Notice also that in both pictures the girls at the centre are looking at something on the right (their left). Evidently it was very interesting - and I missed it (I'm guessing it's not the half-visible poster on the right about medicine).
Hybrid Chinese-Western mural and fountain below Largo da Sé. Nice.
Mural in closer detail
One of the murals at the side
2 more: Street Restaurant ? at S. Domingos (1849), Praia Grande with Fishermen and S. Francisco Church (1837)
Another nice fountain
Largo da Sé
McDonald's value menu. I love how the Mandarin emphasises the Sausage McMuffin with Egg uses Pork. Strangely, the Double Pork Burger has the characters for Ham in it.
Now it was time for dinner. I went to a street the hostel people had recommended for local non-Cantonese food, and I had a choice of 3 options:
Option 1: Portuguese restaurant Boa Mesa
Option 2: Cafe serving, among other things, Portuguese and Macanese food
Option 3: Small shop advertising economical food and "家乡小炒" (Hometown-style Simple Stirfries), i.e. Cantonese food
There was another cafe down the alley, but it was closed that night for a party.
Now, while Cantonese (i.e. Hong Kong-style) food was the big thing here, I wanted to try stuff I couldn't get elsewhere. Besides which, the man in Option 3 had gestured at me, and from the looks of it it wasn't a gesture of benediction.
While both Options 1 and 2 offered Portuguese food, Option 2 was substantially cheaper. However, it also had the glossy look typical of generic cafes opened by yuppies, so I opted for Option 1 (it also had a Portuguese flag inside, for what that was worth).
Menu at Boa Mesa
I opted for Codfish in Cream (Bacalhau something); Nando's was returning to Singapore in May (and anyway there was Barcelo's), so Peri-Peri was out, and some of the other items had overlaps with Macanese cuisine (e.g. Chicken Curry). It was Bagus, though it got a bit boring near the end and so would've been better served in a smaller portion (at least for one) or as part of a dégustation.
I would've ordered more (e.g. dessert), but this was during the 2 weeks after visiting Chomp Chomp where my appetite wasn't very good for some unknown reason.
They didn't want to serve me tap water so I got this Passionfruit Drink - which naturally was from Portugal.
Portuguese TV. Even if they wanted to sing English songs (previously it was "I will always ♥ you"), the first ("Help!") was an unfortunate selection in more than one way.
Interior of Boa Mesa
Menu at Option 2. The Portuguese section is vaguely legible.
Gelato shop with Tofu gelato. I had some Yuzu gelato, which was quite lousy. The only reason I got it was to clear my palette.
How can you not love the "Koson White Ant Destroying Co."? We have a "Atom White Ant Destroying Co" in Singapore.
Avenida de Almeida Ribeiro
"Strong Seal Pills"
Uhh...
Shady advertising I found in one corner. I will have more to say on this subject in a future post.
I then went to the Grand Lisboa to check out the casino and related attractions - someone had recommended I compare the Chinese and Western casinos. He also recommended that I check out the Shark Pit in the basement of one hotel, about which more later.
"The Bronze Head of the Summer Palace donated by Dr. Stanley Ho to China. Purchased for HK$69.1 Million. A World Record for any Chinese Qing Dynasty Sculpture"
Stanley Ho is very proud of his ringfencing of Chinese culture so it stays within China.
As you can see, this is very tasteless ostentation meant to show off all the gold and jade. Most of the items didn't have any information panels - there was no pretext at education, and it was obviously just meant to impress you of the owner's wealth. Furthermore, almost all of the art was Chinese and thus very parochial (and serving a political agenda).
Aesthetic appeal is not the primary consideration here (like the large Jade boat in Sim Lim Square)
Outside the entrance to Stanley Ho's Casinos, there were metal detectors but they seemed to be cosmetic since people walked through (and they sounded) but no one did anything. Maybe this was another thing that had changed since the Americans had shaken up Macau. Or maybe they were only necessary when gang violence was sweeping Macau.
Inside the Casino of the Grand Lisboa itself, photography was not permitted.
There was a stage with performers - 3 caucasian girls clad in outfits varying from skimpy sequined bikinis to barely-there and prancing around, sometimes with poles, and lip-syncing to bad music (I would performers not lip sync and just dance). Since it was quite smokey I didn't bother to stay to see if they would strip (since they were there to distract the punters, this would not have been too surprising).
The ubiquity of CCTVs was very irritating. I'm sure there had been a lot in Vegas, but at least there attempts had been made to disguise them. In the Grand Lisboa they hung over tables very prominently.
At one part of the casino relatively far from the gambling areas, I saw something worth getting chased out for trying to take a photo of:
"February Photo Event. Nada Jun. Senba. Rei. Rico. Meet AV Stars in person! Rockza Theater. U1/F, Grand Lisboa, Macau. [Maximum 30 people, First Come First Serve]"
Here is what the website says:
"Performance produced by Asakusa Rockza
TOKYO NIGHTS - Kyo’s Dancers
Notes: Rockza Tokyo Nights is a strip show held at Grand Lisbore Macau's
Rockza theater, located on the casino floor, everyday since April 2007.
- The performers are 10 Japanese ladies, 6 nude dancers and 4 backup dancers.
All 6 nude dancers are popular Rock-za top adult video stars.
- Show contents are review style dancing shows which consist of six different scenes including Japanese style, jazz style, ballet style, Hiphop , poll dance and more.
All shows start from a dance scene and concludes in a nude show and is smoothly directed in typical Rockza's style.
Largely scaled stage that uses Japanese drums that symbolized Japanese culture, a huge LED screen projecting beautiful scenes are in full view of our customers."
The show cost 380 patacas (~S$76), which seemed somewhat expensive - but then I'm not familiar with stripshow pricing.
Painted on the Theatre Doors
The casino gift shop had see-through mahjong tiles. Which meant that they were useless in actual play.
Shell Painting by Johan Matthias Janson. At least this was non-Chinese, but it was still quite vulgar (naturally, it was Rococo)
Failing to find a basement in the Grand Lisboa, I then went through a tunnel to the Hotel Lisboa to see what else there was to see in Stanley Ho's Empire.
When I first saw this I thought it was commemorating Japanese atrocities during the Second World War. Then I noticed what I thought was blood was actually coverlets. And the soldier's headgear didn't have flaps, so he was a soldier of the ROC, not Japan.
More soldiers
Homages to Western Women
When I emerged from the tunnel in the Hotel Lisboa and entered the East Wing Shopping Arcade in the basement, I saw a lot of tarty-looking PRCs walking to-and-fro, seemingly aimlessly. At first I thought that they were taking a break from the Shark Pit - then I was disappointed as I realised that this was the Shark Pit.
Now, for those who have not realised what the Shark Pit is yet, here is an educational video for edification and enlightenment:
(not taken by me - I was too busy scribbling notes)
(Incidentally the comments on the YouTube video are hilarious:
A: So we need to differentiate between girls that want to show off their figure and prostitutes, just because they're wearing short minis doesn't mean they're Call girls. And the uploader of the Video who thinks this has a pretty distorted view on women, thinking all woman are pieces of cattle meat.
B: obviously you haven't been to casino lisbao in macau. these chicks can be bought for $800. assuming you are asian of course. then again since you posted such an obsurd message you can't possibly be asian.
C: Having been to Macau several times for work and in Casino Lisbao, absolutely no doubt exists that 99% of the attractive young women in mini-skirts are not out for a Sunday stroll. Whether the girls are viewed as pieces of cattle meat (more likely pork) is a different issue, but all or the vast majority are marketing more than their pleasant figures. Beyond being rocket scientists, perhaps they make good jiao zi and xiao long bao and sing and dance really well. Or, not!
D: what kind of normal girl wears mini skirts and 4 inch fuck-me-pumps while wandering aimlessly in macau casinos? of course they are hookers!
E: Go to La Avenida in El Salvador and you can get one for $3.50.)
For those who still have not cottoned on, the Shark Pit is a part of the Hotel Lisboa where prostitutes make their rounds, and I parked myself there for some non-participant observation.
As you may be able to tell from the video, the market was swamped by foreign talent. I was told that the quality was excellent, but it wasn't that different from what you would see in Geylang.
Looking around, I saw a lot of guys standing around, but none paired off with the whores (it was mostly the girls propositioning the guys rather than the reverse, from what I saw), so perhaps they were spectators like me. There was even a brunette couple - perhaps they were looking for a threesome with an exotic Asian.
After a while, my non-participant observation segued into participant observation when one of the ladies sidled up to me and asked me, "你要去吗？" (or words to that effect; translation: "Do you want to go [off]?"). Now, while there're several possible ways to respond to that (one I read online was, "去哪里？" ["Go where?"] but the guy who uttered that in genuine befuddlement reported that the hooker got upset), I decided to find out about the market structure.
Basically, I was quoted an all-inclusive price of 800 patacas (~S$160) for a frolic in a very new sauna. It would be a private room, and how long it would last would depend on me. She also said that she liked my type, at which I tried to restrain myself from laughing in her face.
Seeing that I was resisting her blandishments, she kept on going "去吧" ("Come on, let's go") in a doubtless perfected syrupy sweet voice deep with longing. She also claimed that tomorrow she would be gone (yeah, like I'm falling for that one), and that she would make me feel "舒服" ("Comfortable").
After I finally shook her off, I had a few moments of peace before another came up and asked me what I was writing. She even asked if I was a journalist. Hurr hurr.
Two others came up to me and one quoted me 800 patacas. I was not surprised that it was almost certainly a cartel, but I was still annoyed. I was tempted to ask how much it'd cost to get both of them at the same time, and if there was a bulk discount.
There were various things I could've said to the prostitutes. For example:
- "It's cheaper in Singapore"
- "Can we have sex without a seatbelt?"
- "Do you do [insert kinky act here]?"
- "可以往后门进?" ("Is entry permitted via the back door?" - I don't think I could've said that with a straight face)
- "I'm gay"
- "I'm asexual"
- "I already have a girlfriend"
- "It will be my first time"
- "I suffer from delayed ejaculation"
However, I didn't know the terminology for all of these in Mandarin, nor did I think I could say most of them convincingly.
The tourists in Macau (at least those who visit the Shark Pit) must be very loaded, since 800 patacas is very expensive - a similar service in Geylang would cost about S$100.
In all, my evaluation of the Shark Pit was this: Who is the shark, and who is the prey?
"健康正宗保健中心
至尊式全身推油按摩"
Leaflet I got. At first I thought that this just might be a legitimate massage centre, given the presence of what I am told are the keywords: "推拿" ("Tuina"), but given that they emphasise that their masseurs are 18-35 years old and that they are standing by on a 24 hour basis to service you, maybe not.
The only people I saw who looked even vaguely half Portuguese (apart from in the restaurant) were around the Portuguese school.
I might be getting too old to clamber around bunk beds. Sad. But maybe that's because it was such a cramped hostel - one of my roommates told me that it was worse than all the hostels in China that he'd stayed in.
