22/7 - Reims/Bayeux
Cathedral
Tau palace
I finished the cathedral 1 1/2 hrs before my next train, but didn't want to eat at a restaurant due to time constraints, among other things (I was still in the city at this point and it'd take a while to walk to the station). So I decided to test the Cock's theory that McDonald's in France was better. I walked in just before 11am - the transition time between breakfast and lunch menus. So why the fries were cold and a bit stale was beyond me (yes, the Cock strikes again).
I also had 'Le p'tit chicken recette Fromagere' (strictly speaking, for a basis for comparison I should've had ordered something available elsewhere, but I like to try new things). The description was very enticing (it must be the language) - 'Son pain aux eclats de mars, son poulet croustillant specialite panee au poulet, son onctueuse sauce au fromage fondu et sa salade croquante'. Too late I realised why it was 'p'tit', and there was also no fromage inside (wth!). Otherwise it was like a McChicken but in a dusted bun (not sesame), with the chicken crumbed rather than battered.
Hell, even the Coke was off; just looking at the dispenser, I knew something was not right, since it usually flowed into the cup in a pure stream but this dispensed an alternating stream of black and white syrup and soda water. Not only was it flat, the carbonation quotient/mix was off. Like the Coke from the RI vending machine behind the canteen when Monty's was in charge.
In their favor, though, contrary to what seems to be the practice in the rest of Europe, they gave me 1 packet of ketchup and pommes-frites-sauce (tartar) gratuit. Also: 'Golden best of - 1 menu maxi best of (TM) Big Mac + 1 cheeseburger' was going for €7. How could they trademark "Best of"?!
They offered a "McCine" - 1 menu best of (your choice of meal except the one with the 280g burger) and 1 cinema ticket for €8,50. Working backwards, it seems a cinema ticket alone (on top of the meal) was worth only €2,70. What sort of films could they afford to screen at that price?!
The McFlurry flavours in France were Daim, Kit Kat and M&M Peanuts.
An information panel infomed me that Cours JB. Langlet was presenting a series of remarkable buildings. I didn't believe them, then I saw this:
'Reconstruction de Reims Marcel Rousseauarchitecte 1927'
Docteur JB Langlet. Maire de Reims 1841-1927
So far I hadn't seen any Malaysian Mannikins in France and was quite pleased. I thought that the French had better not disappoint me.
Automatic store
I thought only the Japs had advanced automation to such a degree. Maybe this is what happens when you can't easily fire people.
When in Paris, the Cock had had all 3 breakfasts in the hostel, which provided a small baguette-shaped roll, a small croissant, jam and butter, and a cup of coffee/tea/chocolate, as well as vile juice. After 2 days, I was sick of it, so I went out and eventually had a croque monsieur. The cock wanted to eat at the hostel because he'd paid for it, and my parents would agree with him. But then that is a sunk cost, and it definitely makes more sense to, since you're already in France, go out and sample local breakfast delights (ie The divine pains et al.). After all, unless he returns with his "future girlfriend slash wife", he will never get to try pastries lighter than any pastry has the right to be. That would be a true waste of money.
I kept seeing a magazine: "Teu". One version labelled "Plage" showed a man's bathroom shots (?) and another also labelled "Plage" showed a man naked and seen from the back. One story went: "Le nouveau Superman est-il gay?"
I sensed the French were better at English than the Italians (though this was a slightly tough call), but they refused to speak it anyway. Bah.
Seen at a newstand in Paris (where I was transfering trains) for €6: 'La vie parisienn magazine'. The cover stories were in French, but in the sidebar I saw: 'Where to go, what to find? Our special tips to meet the sexiest girls! And many more! Hot streets, bars, swinger clubs, massage institutes... Hot Hot Hot... How to find the best spot of the capital'. I was wondering: What spot? There was also FHM for €1,95 (usual price €3) - the competition must've been too intense.
The guy beside me on the train to Bayeux was reading Cosmopolitan. I know girls read male mags but this is the first time I've seen a guy read a female mag. Well, apart from me anyway.
I witnessed foreplay on the train. 1 girl was lying on 2 seats and a guy was on the inner seat. He went down on her (her mouth area) and she started laughing and one leg rose in passion. Maybe he went down in flames that night after having his red meat in the day.
The weather in Bayeux was very good. When I got off the train, I was shocked at how cool it was (the fact that it'd been raining didn't help). The last time I'd felt so cool was in the middle of june, and this was further north to boot. It was even better at night!
Bayeux Cathedral
There's a story behind why it's so opulent for such a small town, but I can't recall.
Portal
Entrance
I arrived at the tourist office just before it closed and after seeing the enormity of what would await me if I tried to navigate the beaches myself, I booked a tour from one of 5 tour companies.
I didn't see any giaks around.
Their napkins had a ship with warriors (a scene from the Tapestry)
Those who go on Eurotrips and only visit capitals miss out on so much and spend so much more than those who explore smaller cities and towns.
As I observed to Andrew, you can tell if tap water is served at an establishment by looking at the prices. If mineral water is available cheaply, tap water will not be served, and the converse applies (except in Bruges, since it was on the town square and was a tourist joint).
I decided on Le Drakkar. They had a €14,50 menu which I decided to go for if they didn't serve tap water, and a €18 menu which I'd have if they did. The €14,50 menu seemed to be insulting, with cheap courses, including a hamburger as one choice for the main course (though someone later informed me that the French hamburger is a specific term).
A thick tourist guide narrated how, at the front of the British Cemetery, there was "the sentence in Latin recalling how, in 1944, the British came to free the Homeland of their victors (sic) of 1066". A section on monastery accommodations described La Joie Saint Benoit thus: "Staying with us will allow you to recover your physical and moral strength". Bah.
The most excellent dinner I had in Bayeux, at Le Drakkar; one of the best meals I've had.
I've had this as a status message for a while and everyone says it doesn't look good. Bloody hell.
My starter was smoked ham. For some reason, I don't know why, I expected thick ham. Instead I got delectable thin ham, and a very generous portion of it too. Unfortunately, someone was not there to advise me on the finer points of haute cuisine (and more importantly, to pay), so I assumed that since I couldn't cut the top layer of the ham with my knife (the layer above the fat - the skin? or wax?), I was not supposed to eat it.
The main course, as seen above, was a generous slab of pork with diced bacon and mushrooms, served with potatoes cubes fried with bacon. The pork was very thick and yet fully cooked, meat thera? (?). I couldn't figure out why it was tied with a piece of string, though. Sit in the park and eat bread? Not on your life!
The dessert was a hot apple tart. I was wondering why there was a scoop of vanilla ice cream, then as I ate the tart I realised why - it was the least sweet apple tart I'd ever had. I would go so far as to venture that there was no sugar in it. At all. I never have chocolate outside if I can help it, but hitherto apple had always been safe. Trust the Frech!
Outside of Paris, some places close during lunch time. In Italy and Greece, they sleep. In France, they have lunch. For example in Villeneuve I was walking through the village and everything was closed except hairdressing salons (don't ask me, I have no idea why they were an exception).
xxoos was disdainful of guidebooks. She said she went where her feet took her, but then "There is a good reason people don't take the roads much less traveled. They're dangerous and it can take you more than twice as long to get to your destination." (The Road Much Less Traveled) If nothing else, they are useful for accommodation information, directions to the hostels and tourist offices and provide preliminary maps of places before you get real ones.
sect (seot?) aug (awig?/aurg?) 45°. not so bad (more scribbled stuff I can't decipher)
Many of us were socialising in the common room of the youth hostel at night, and the elderly male proprietor who spoke no English (though I suspect he understood a bit) suddenly ran in shouting, as he was wont to do. Luckily some people spoke and understood French, so one talked to him and then translated to us that we needed to vacate the room because 50 people would be coming later and the room was needed for "The distribution of the keys". As soon as the liaison uttered this phrase, the whole room burst out laughing (and this was a room of various nationalities, so it wasn't a culture thing). I'm sure it makes perfect sense in French, since that language is so florid and pompous, but in English the direct translation sounds ridiculous, like some ceremony out of a fantasy novel.
Someone: french is a beautiful language
and i quote the matrix
cursing in french is like wiping ur arse with silk
Someone else: you mean key party?
dun get it
Someone (2): Hrm.
la distribution des cles
i suppose i can excuse french being pompous
it's so pretty sounding.
Someone else (2): still very frodo-esque
and considering that i last watched some youtube LOTR orgy thing
that's one kinky hostel
Later, 50 Norwegian schoolgirls turned up and were yelling and shrieking. I wanted to use one bathroom, but when I arrived there I found 5 of them in the queue. Gah.
