"Malaysia Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad and the Sultan of Johor are seen in a blue Proton Saga... "When asked whether there is any tension with the sultan, Dr Mahathir said: “No, I don’t see anything because I went to see him and he drove me to the airport. I don’t want to comment on the sultans because if I say anything that is not good then it’s not nice because he is the sultan”"

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

"Women should be obscene and not heard." - Groucho Marx

***

A friend of mine once said that he would kill himself once he reached the age of 40, because he didn't think that his life would get any better after that age. I think that many people get more and more screwed up and stuck up as they grow older, but the sad thing is they don't realise it and deny it when it's pointed out to them. Better still: they might've resolved not to be that way when they were younger.

***

I'm in picture number four talking with Gabriel. It was electrifying to touch his rebonded hair (with permission, of course.) It's really very smooth and straight. You should try it sometime. (Jeff Yen's blog)

I should set up a charity booth or something.

I remember that the abortive Sec 4 class video that we filmed (supposedly for inclusion on a CD burnt for the whole level, but as with my SMM platoon T-shirt, we all knew where that went) had me holding this sign saying "10 cents per poke". One guy came up, gave me 10 cents and poked me once, and I went "Ow". Another guy came up, gave me 20 cents and poked me twice, and I went "Ow. Ow". Then Chris came over, opened up his wallet and fingered a $50 note, and I went "Oh shit!"

***

I was looking for Animal Farm in Bukit Merah library for my brother in law, and got so frustrated by their graphical interface that I just went to the relevant shelf to look for the book manually.

Ah, for the days of the old OPAC. I miss the friendly octopus, who would extend his tendrils as far as he could to aid us in our quest for shy books. Keying in commands was easy with the simple, no frills interface (except for the ASCII octopus), and it was possible to perform your query quickly and efficiently, especially if you had the requisite series of keystrokes memorised. Furthermore, the system efficiently displayed all the data you needed about the books called up.

In contrast, the current system is a mess. Instead of the previous monochrome interface, we now have a colourful graphical interface. Instead of quickly typing in commands, one now has to move the mouse from point to point to get anything done. Worse, the search results don't seem to be sorted, and are presented in such a way that you know nothing about the books except their title and (sometimes) date of publication.

Oddly, the web interface is much better and more informative (though it still can't beat the old OPAC). It must be a devious plot to unclog the OPAC terminals at the libraries themselves by making you locate your book before visiting the library (or making you, in frustration, pay for Internet access to search the NLB catalogue through its Internet site when you are already at the library).

***

The Bohemian Bunny is a hall inmate once again, and has encounters with SACSALs and shower outings; for once, something I've not heard of! Toilet outings we all know and love [hate], but shower outings are new:

"As I was finishing my shower, I heard distinct lian-speak coming from the cubicles nearby. It is just so painfully obvious that they are Singaporean (which in itself is not so bad) and that they were a shade too ah-lian for my taste. I don't recall having heard so many 'lehs', 'lars' and 'hors' in a sentence since, like, I dunno. Yes yes I know that I, a Malaysian, also use these terms, but certainly I do not use them in such massive doses. Worse than the 'lahs', I find, is the nasal manner in which they speak. A foreigner can master the 'lahs' but you can always tell a true-blue lian by the slightly nasal intonation. And it's only the girls. I don't hear the boys speaking like that.

And don't jump on the political correctness bandwagon and tell me that it's mean to dislike ah lians. Agagooga doesn't like them either, and I'm with him on that.

So anyway, when I exited the shower cubicle, I turned to see all 4 of the remaining cubicles occupied by said ah lians. I detest this practice of group bathing, simply because back in my first hostel, we had stupid immature secondary school girls who would hog all available cubicles and commence a 30-minute shower. Plus I just don't get it. Why MUST you all shower together? I know there are lizards and spiders in the cubicles, but I think that's as creepy as it gets. No uninvited guests from the 'other side', and anyway it's only 11.30 pm which is plenty early to hall residents. What's there to be scared of?"

***

Uhh.


Event Title: Dating Strategies that Work!
Organizer: Eugene Tan Sern Ting, Kong Jing Wen & Chung Pin Soon with collaboration Social Development Unit

Description: “Love Clinic – How to lose your bachelor’s degree” is an exciting new book on dating and relationships that is written by 3 medical students who share a passion for creating romance. It is packed with innovative ideas and proven strategies designed to help you succeed in your love life.

There will be a talk by the authors on dating strategies that work! The authors will be sharing their insights on “Finding that Special Someone”, “Preparing for the First Date” and “Secrets of a Successful Relationship”. We look forward to your support!

In our commitment to make our book more affordable for undergraduates, we are proud to bring you an unbelievable special offer – NUS students are entitled to buy the book at an incredible price of just $6, a whopping 60% off the retail price of $15.

To purchase the book, simply email sales_nus@loveclinic.sg with your name, matriculation number, faculty, email address and contact number, with the subject header “NUS Special”. We will get in touch with you on book collection dates. But hurry, because we have only reserved a limited number of books for this promotion and the offer is only valid till 10 August. So get your copy today, while stocks last!

The book and talk are supported by the Social Development Unit. For more information on our book, visit http://loveclinic.sg.

Date/Time: 5th August 2005 (Friday) 1830-2000 hrs
Venue: NUS LT 15 (Law Faculty)
Price: Free of Charge
Contact: Jingwen (jingwen@loveclinic.sg)

The book and talk are supported by the Social Development Unit.

***

The Legend of Joe: Fuck Wo-Hen Nankan (Whoever the fuck that is.)

"It's some Chinese immigrant assfuck named Wo-Hen Nankan. Apparently this assfucking shitsucker has a web following of either sycophantic goobertards or just people going along with him because he's so ridiculous that he's fucking funny as shit.

On top of the guy having absolutely no credibility as a musician, he's ugly as sin. The best way I can describe him is umm...let's see....if Michael Jackson and Prince got drunk, fucked each other in the ass, felched the sperm out of each other's asses and spit it into a test tube where it was then put into a Bangkok hooker's womb, then there would be Wo-Hen Nankan. However, I'm pretty sure that it's just a photoshopped composite of Michael Jackson and Prince put on a bunch of crossdressers wearing some pretty ridiculous clothing."

***

Most of Power Rangers SPD Episode 23 - Zapped, is great. But the interrogation sequence is particularly well done:


*Calypso music plays*

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Jack: Now, we could go easier on you if- you just tell us who else is involved.

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Al: Yawn

Jack: We're betting you work with somebody else. All you gotta do is tell us who, and, we'll take 4, 5 years off your sentence. What'd you say?

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Al: *Burp*

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*Threatening chord plays*

Sky: *Slams table* You better tell us what we want to know - or else.

Al: Ooh. Did you have onions for lunch?

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Syd: *Plays with pigtails* Must've been tough for you, Al-

Al: Uhh.

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Syd: Never getting a break from anyone. *Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy plays* Me - I had it all. Great parents, a good education-

Al: Err.

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Syd: A credit card- and you *slight snort*; how can you ever amount to anything with your skin so - scaly?

Al: Scaly? I *am* a lizard... Hey, can you bring the blue guy back in?

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*Z laughs while Sky looks annoyed*

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*SPD CD player plays CD. Female voice sings: "Me, me, me, me now. Let's talk about-" while Z grooves along*

Al: Eugh, what's that racket?

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Z: It's good, huh? *arches eyebrows briefly*

Al: Euuuurgh!

Z: It's a song that Syd wrote *and* performs. It's called "Me". Because it's all about her. You like it?

Al: Seriously, can you bring the blue guy back? Please!

*Everyone turns to look at Syd*

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Syd: What does he know? He's *a lizard*.

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Bridge: But then again, why should you help us? Prison is safe. Secure. But is anything ever really truly secure? Security - can only come from one place-

Al: Get to the point, would'ja?

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Bridge: So... *Cut* False sense of, of, o- security. And what does security really give us?

Al: STOP! I can't take it anymore. I'll talk. I'll talk.

***

These people *really* don't like Macs:

Redneck: Me an' my ol' lady had gon' out and bought us one o' them pee-cee's. So I takes it home an' try an' install Deer Hunter 2.

It kept tellin' me to go to 'My Computer' like I wasn't already at mah computer... Duh.

So we exchanged it fer a Mc'intosh. I ain't had no schoolin' above third grade, but I can operate that machine real easy-like.

Tagline: Apple - Simple.

Cletus McGee
Redneck.
Simpleton.
Mac User.
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