When you can't live without bananas

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Monday, September 06, 2004

Quote of the Post: "The whole world is in revolt. Soon there will be only five Kings left--the King of England, the King of Spades, The King of Clubs, the King of Hearts, and the King of Diamonds." - King Farouk of Egypt

Random Playlist Song: Mozart - Symphony No 41 in C, K.551 'Jupiter' - 04 - Molto Allegro

The English Concert under Trevor Pinnock plays with a smaller orchestra than is usual, so the individual instruments are more easily discernable.

***

On what she was doing in Sec 2:

"i was playing with condoms
i used to buy condoms
in school uniform
fill them up with water and just throw
haha
stupid"

...

***

Description of this site on eatonweb portal: "Weird. Eccentric. Intended verbosity. Bonker-to-be"

What's a bonker?


A few have commented that by highlighting my search referrals, I am merely ensuring that I will continue to get them, or referrals of that nature in the future.

Now the thing is, this manner of search referrals do not enrage or offend me, so much as amuse me and leave me flabbergasted. All the same, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle does apply - the very act of measuring them (or rather, publicising my results) makes their re-occurence more likely, and additionally boosts my rankings when searches of that nature are carried out.

Oh well (*ahem*). Maybe I shall replace vowels with asterisks next time, or something.


I once asked my mother why she has double standards for me and my brother in law. She said that it was because he wasn't her son. So I replied that I should find some girl whose family I could marry into.


"Microsoft will produce a product that doesn't suck when they start making vacuum cleaners."

***

One Hundred Percent American

There can be no question about the average American's Americanism or his desire to preserve this precious heritage at all costs. Nevertheless, some insidious foreign ideas have already wormed their way into his civilization without his realizing what was going on. Thus, dawn finds the unsuspecting patriot garbed in pajamas, a garment of East Indian origin; and lying in a bed built on a pattern which originated in either Persia or Asia Minor. He is muffled to the ears in un-American materials: cotton, first domesticated in India; linen, domesticated in the Middle East; wool from an animal native to Asia Minor; or silk whose uses were first discovered by the Chinese.

On awakening he glances at the clock, a medieval European invention, rises in haste, and goes to the bathroom. Here, if he stops to think about it, he must feel himself in the presence of a great American institution; he will have heard stories of both the quality and frequency of foreign plumbing and will know that in no other country does the average man or woman perform their ablutions in the midst of such splendor. But the insidious foreign influences pursue him even here. Glass was invented by the ancient Egyptians, the use of glazed tiles for floors and walls in the Middle East, porcelain in China, and the art of enameling on metal by Mediterranean artisans of the Bronze Age. Even his bathtub and toilet are but slightly modified copies of Roman originals. The only purely American contribution to the ensemble is the steam radiator, against which our patriot very briefly and unintentionally places his posterior.

Returning to the bedroom, the unconscious victim of un-American practices removes his clothes from a chair, invented in the Near East, and proceeds to dress. He puts on close-fitting tailored garments whose form derives from the skin clothing of the ancient nomads of the Asiatic steppes and fastens them with buttons whose prototypes appeared in Europe at the close of the Stone Age. He puts on his feet stiff coverings made from hide prepared by a process invented in ancient Egypt and cut to a pattern which can be traced back to ancient Greece and makes sure they are properly polished, also a Greek idea. Lastly, he ties about his neck a strip of bright-colored cloth, which is a vestigial survival of the shoulder shawls worn by seventeenth-century Croats. He gives himself a final appraisal in the mirror, an old Mediterranean invention and goes downstairs to breakfast.

Here a whole new series of foreign things confront him. His food and drink are placed before him in pottery vessels, the popular name of which - china - is sufficient evidence of their origin. His fork is a medieval Italian invention and his spoon a copy of a Roman original. He will usually begin his meal with coffee, an Abyssinian plant first discovered by Arabs. The American is quite likely to need it to dispel the morning after affects of over-indulgence in fermented drinks, invented in the Near East; or distilled ones, invented by the alchemists of medieval Europe.

If our patriot is old-fashioned enough to adhere to the so-called American breakfast, his coffee will be accompanied by an orange, or orange juice, domesticated in the Mediterranean region, a cantaloupe domesticated in Persia, or grapes domesticated in Asia Minor. From this he will go on to waffles, a Scandinavian invention, with plenty of butter, originally a Near-Eastern cosmetic.

Breakfast over, he sprints for his train - the train, not the sprinting, being an English invention. At the station, he pauses for a moment to buy a newspaper, paying for it with coins invented in ancient Lydia. Once on the train he settles back to inhale the fumes of a cigarette invented in Mexico, or a cigar invented in Brazil. Meanwhile, he reads the news of the day, imprinted in characters invented by the ancient Semites by a process invented in Germany upon a material invented in China. As he scans the latest editorial pointing out the dire results to our institutions of accepting foreign ideas, he will not fail to thank a Hebrew God in an Indo-European language that he is one hundred percent (decimal system invented by the Greeks) American (from Americus Vespucci, Italian geographer).

--- by Anthropologist Ralph Linton in The American Century vol. 40, 1937

***

Wth.


Guess What? The Biggest Young PAP Bash of the Year!!!

My Dear Friend,

You received an email from me last week which made you guessing what we were up to???

Guess no further.The Young PAP is having our own concert and party in Zouk disco. It will be a night of high energy fun and many stars are joining the Young PAP for this dazzling night.

We are honoured to have the Prime Minister and Ministers with us for this event. Entrance to Zouk is totally free. Drinks are provided as well.

Do join us. Invite your families and friends as well. We welcome all of them. We await your presence to sashay the night away with us. J

For more details, please go to http://www.youngpap.org.sg/articles/PAPRockConcert.php

If you and your friends are interested, kindly let me have your names, IC numbers and contact numbers for registration.

Thanks and regards,

Nelson Goh

Chairman
Young PAP General Branch & Recruitment

People's Action Party

***

Tosser's review of last Friday's session of the concert I attended:

"When Gil Shaham started leaping about at one of the climaxes I had to suppress laughter. It's supposed to be the tragic death scene, but the performance was emotionally weak though techinically flawless, so I was quite unable to get into it, although that is also partly because I've never liked the piece, catchy melodies and all. I don't understand the rationale behind the concerto format for the Butterfly Lovers' story anyway. Given two main characters, two soloists would be more appropriate, or else a symphonic poem of sorts would do just as well. The solo parts seemed rather artificial, as though they were just spliced in to give the soloist something to do.

Same weak performance in the Tchaikovsky. I made a better attempt to concentrate this time, closing my eyes in case he started jumping again, but it was just unconvincing. I've only ever listened properly to the interpretation by Heifetz/Reiner/CSO, and last night's performance was anaemic in comparison.

I keep examining myself to ensure that the mindblowing Pletnev concerts haven't ensured eternal dissatisfaction, and I think they haven't, since I have still managed to regard several concerts after those as rather good, though not to the extent of wanting to give standing ovations. But even after confirming that I'm not being unreasonably demanding, I still observe considerable applause inflation, which, since I'm one of those spoilsports who believes one should not show approval for everything just to make the performers "feel good", is rather annoying."

***

Adults, children picking up Mandarin through Confucian Classics - "'What we've learnt of course is not only being more gracious to one another. We're talking about filial piety, respect for each other, especially for elders, and these are some of the values that I find are very relevant to our society now,' said Ms Tan, a student at Confucian Treasure Trove."
Other Good, Old-Fashioned, Wholesome and Virtuous Confucian values that are just possibly very relevant to our society now: Misogyny, not questioning the validity of your assigned roles in society, despising merchants and obeying your rulers.

Twelve O'Six - "What's the one lesson that they tell you you should never forget about throwing a smoke? well... aside from the obvious one that you throw the grenade and not the pin? that you let it ignite before throwing it... but my Section 2I/C was so smart... he threw it straightaway, and true to form, the ground caught fire... Before long, the fire had spread and was chasing us as we dragged our half-alive PC and his stinking webbing, losing 1 pair of boots and 1 helmet amongst other things hauling ass down the knoll..." (Days Were The Those: Stories of National Service in Singapore. Contributors welcome. Army, Navy, Air Force, Police, Civil Defence also can.)

See-Through Loo - "Here's a picture of a public toilet in Switzerland that's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box."

London seeks ways to cool underground - "Plans are underway to install a cooling system that would tap the millions of gallons of cold ground water pumped daily out of London's deep tunnels in order to cool air in the labyrinthine network. Trials could begin before next summer."

Singapore bans cloning - I'm surprised it took so long. Or maybe I shouldn't be.

***

Picture time!


Possible future job prospects for me


Flare pattern from a C-130
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