"The happiest place on earth"

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Quote of the Post: "I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages." - William H. Mauldin

Random Playlist Song: Smetana - The Moldau

***

Long time readers may recall that earlier this year, in February or so, after enquiries directed to the Pioneer subscription hotline and some subsequent pestering of my unit DXO (Defence eXecutive Officer) I unsubscribed to Pioneer - The Magazine of the Singapore Armed Forces. The next few months were spent in a joyous daze, and I rejoiced at how I was now enriched by a grand total of $0.40 a month (it's more the principle of the thing than anything else).

Now, imagine my shock, outrage and hurt when I suddenly receieved July's issue in the mail last month. Like the beast that just wouldn't die, Pioneer Magazine was back to haunt me. I was so overwhelmed that I did not think to assail their offices with a barrage of complaints, and instead asked my mother to dump the foul thing.

Now, on reaching home today, what should I find but August's issue of Pioneer Magazine. This time, there was no hesitation. I immediately dialed 6373 1114, and complained to the bored-sounding lady who answered my call. She explained that what I had gotten submitted in February was the Pioneer Unsubscription Form for *Regulars and NSFs*, and that this did not affect the 2 year pre-paid subscription that all NSFs are signed up for when they ORD.

Miffed but helpless at this bureaucratic sleight of hand, I requested that my 2 day subscription be cancelled. And so, in 1 1/2 months' time, my bank account shall be credited to the tune of $13.60 ($14.40 for a 2 year subscription, less the cost of July's and August's issues).

I urge all whose 2 year subscriptions are still running (or who are still slaves) to call the Pioneer Unsubscription Line at 6373 1114/5 (for the former) or to contact your unit's S1 department (for the latter).

***

36 signs you've been in Singapore too long, especially if you come from a Western country

I like the following:

1. You've lost your sense of irony, sarcasm, and cynicism.

2. You don't know what's lame and what isn't anymore.

4. You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing anything. Always.

5. You join queues without knowing or caring what the queue is for.

7. Your idea of a good night out consists of having dinner at a hawker centre, drinking beer, and then going to another hawker centre and eating again.

8. You've lost your ability to criticize people in higher positions than you, even if they're wrong.

9. You think it's okay to have only one meaningful choice on a ballot.

14. You think that nothing makes a girl or guy more attractive than to dress exactly like hundreds of thousands of othe girls and guys who all dress exactly like girls and guys in malls.

15. You think that S$100,000 [= US$ 57,000] is a reasonable price for a Toyota Corolla and S$1,000,000 is a reasonable price for a bungalow, but S$5 [= US$2.85] for a plate of fried noodles is a barbarous outrage.

16. You believe that not being able to get decent roti prata outside Singapore is enough to keep the best and the brightest people from leaving.

17. You see nothing wrong with forming committees of select elite people to deliberate and study ways to stimulate creativity and spontaneity.

18. You justify every argument with the phrase "in order for us to be competitive in the 21st century."

20. You see nothing unusual about an organization of trade unions spending more time owning and operating supermarkets, parks, drugstores, amusement nightclubs, and financial services than planning the next strike.

21. You believe that a lack of land is enough justification for the goverment to do what it wants.

24. You like to have fun, but not too much fun, since you need to correctly gauge the amount of fun necessary to achieve the optimal result. Any more fun that that would bring shame to your family and your country.

32. You forgot what chewing gum tastes like.

33. You're sure that the best way to change social behaviour is through consistent and comprehensive government-sponsored campaigns that permeate as many aspects of daily life as possible. And when they don't work, you never speak of them again.

34. You agree that what the government thinks of your personal habits and lifestyle should determine whether you get a condo and how much you pay for it.

***

adbar for Firefox - "Opera's least popular feature comes to Firefox!"
People would voluntarily install something to show them *more* ads? We live in a strange world.

Michael Moore - How to Deal with the Lies and the Lying Liars When They Lie about "Bowling for Columbine" - I was directed to this site in the past by someone outraged that Moore, while referring to Fahrenheit 9/11, had claimed that "every fact in my movie is true". Now that I look at what Moore wrote more closely, I find that it actually applies to Bowling for Columbine (where every fact *is* true). BAH. I have pulled aside that particular bit of wool of the right wing.

Bursting the bubble on mobile myths - " How many brains have been fried, patients killed and airplanes crashed by mobile phones? I can't find any numbers or solid evidence to answer these questions. I suspect the answers are zip. One thing I can tell you: if you are concerned about the use of mobiles on aircraft, just consider the engine management and safety systems in your car the next time you phone home on the freeway. They are as equally susceptible to inference as those on an airplane."
Evil corporate conspiracies to fleece consumers...

Is Cyberporn Coming Between You? - "In October 2003, 30 percent of porn surfers were women, according to Nielsen/NetRatings."
Wah.

Bad Comma - Lynne Truss’s strange grammar - "The first punctuation mistake in “Eats, Shoots & Leaves”... appears in the dedication, where a nonrestrictive clause is not preceded by a comma. It is a wild ride downhill from there. “Eats, Shoots & Leaves” presents itself as a call to arms, in a world spinning rapidly into subliteracy, by a hip yet unapologetic curmudgeon, a stickler for the rules of writing. But it’s hard to fend off the suspicion that the whole thing might be a hoax."

Kerry's Blue Blood a Winner, Say Royal Researchers - "After months of research into Kerry's ancestry, Burke's Peerage, experts on British aristocracy, reported Monday that the Vietnam war veteran is related to all the royal houses of Europe and can claim kinship with Czar Ivan 'The Terrible,' a previous Emperor of Byzantium and the Shahs of Persia... Similar research carried out on Bush ahead of the 2000 presidential race showed that he beat Al Gore in the royal stakes, claiming kinship with Britain's Queen Elizabeth as well as with Kings Henry III and Charles II of England."

US House votes to block aid fo Saudi Arabia - "U.S. lawmakers cheered as the House of Representatives voted on Thursday to strip financial assistance for Saudi Arabia from a foreign aid bill because of criticism that the country has not been sufficiently cooperative in the U.S. war on terror. The vote was a stinging defeat for the Bush Administration which had strongly opposed the measure saying it would 'severely undermine' counterterrorism cooperation with Saudi Arabia and U.S. efforts for peace in the Middle East. The House voted 217-191 to remove $25,000 in the $19.4 billion 2005 foreign aid bill earmarked for Saudi Arabia." (Emphasis mine)

Musician killed in crash 'just a genuine person' - "The [car] crash early Sunday that killed Wilmington musician Philip Healy also effectively killed the Knobs, the indie-pop band he led for the past decade, bandmates said... The ninth track of 'The Knobs Break Up and Die' is called 'If I Die in a Car Crash.'"

Billow found guilty of DUI charge - "The former executive director of the county's alcoholism prevention program hobbled into court on crutches Wednesday and expressed his regret over a drunken-driving crash in a vehicle owned by the program."

Lightning Strike Energizes Maine Man - "A Madison man who was struck by lightning this week says he feels 'lighter and 100 years younger' than he did before the accident."

Fish fillet was an 'offensive weapon'

***

We were supposed to read an extract from a book - "Reinterpreting Sociology" - for our first Sociology lecture. After reading those 16 pages though, I was none the wiser. If we do not even know what Sociology is, how are we going to reinterpret it?! Or as a friend put it: "yeah I wonder if some of these authors even know what they're saying. It's like in some other language"
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