Word of the day: "velleity"

Was having a conversation with religious friend: "I've been praying like fuck for a new job." (Lots of bizarrre conversations lately. Must be the influence of all the movies -
I've watched Van Helsing, House of Sand & Fog, Starsky & Hutch, Secret Window, Jiang Hu, Doraemon: The Movie and Kill Bill Vol 2 in the space of 2 weeks)

Religious friend: "Yes, but who've you been praying TO?"

Me: "Anyone who'll get me a new job."

That conversation got me thinking.

So I stole 2 metal "6"s and a "9" from the 16th and 19th floor lift lobbies of my office and, on my cubicle wall, have put up a 666 in front of a picture of the X-(Wo)man Phoenix in flames (her flame wreathed face looks out through the circle in the middle 6). This was to pledge my allegiance to the Lord of Darkness, the Adversary, the Prince of Lies, etc etc. if he will get me a new job.

As I told my friend when semi-legally manipulating profits for the bank last quarter: "Morality doesn't matter when you're already in Hell."

*disingenuous shrug*

Well, one thing i'm certain of, it's not Heaven.

Had a phone interview with Merill Lynch about a week after the 666.

And this new babe joined my department recently. She's hot, and it's ironic that she's the most bimbotic and sexual of the new recruits, but also the smartest and the most hard-working.

While showing me her tattoo, I asked her "do you spit or swallow?" (the question came about naturally in the course of conversation - as I said, I have weird conversations)

She answered: "I only swallow for those guys I like, and I don't like you that much. Yet."

Is that a good sign? Do I have to break out canine/goat/human sacrifice to get the Infernal One to stump up more largesse?

But basically all of this potentially demonstrates that I've been looking to the wrong deity/pantheon/alignment for support all this while.

In any event:

a) Absolutely nothing to lose (immortal soul? HAH!)

b) If I'd known consorting with Ye Powers of Darknesse could have such a demonstrably positive effect on my life, I'd have done so ages ago.

c) Besides, God might make a counter-offer. Hopefully it'll be a meaningful one that doesn't involve renunciation, penance, suffering, or post-mortem salvation. I want the goods NOW!