Restored post

Returned I have, after a long hiatus, after a week at Sembawang Wharves.


Tales Of My Jaunt, aka What I Did (The Short Version):

Nothing.

Eat. Sleep. Read. (And I ran out of stuff to read near the end.)

I must've gained lots of weight :)

I didn't drink any plain water while I was there, actually. It was all either A&W Cream Soda, 50% discounted Sunny Delight 5% Juice Orange Drink (they expired today, ergo the discount) or SAF provided Made in Malaysia drinks (like 'Kordial Blackcurrent' and 'Kordial Laici' - further proof that Malays cant spell)


Long, garrulous version:

Someone really doesn't like me. From my earlier outfield romp, I'd lost an Entrenching Tool Stick and my Groundsheet had miraculously become a Poncho. This time, a short while before I left for Sembawang, since I had to bring my rifle along (a medic bringing a rifle along???), I had to take my rifle sling, whereupon I discovered that it had been wrest from me, and my roll of Comms Cord had likewise been filched. So at the last minute, to cut a long, inconsequential story short, to a short, inconsequential retelling, I took Cheong's sling my mistake and got cursed and cussed at excessively, as he has a tendency to overreact.

It was suggested to me that I go "stun" (steal - how some words are made up I will never fathom) replacements for the groundsheet and ET stick, but I feel that's immoral. So I'll see how much I'll have to shell out for all the items (I hear the groundsheet and ET stick cost $80 and $30 respectively. I've spent $20 on 2 rifle slings already, and now have an extra).

Sembawang Wharves was boring (see above) and I was bored stuff (Ooo, repeating a word in different forms in the same sentence! *Gasp*). Of course, it was less boring for the officers, who played Worms Armageddon, Warcraft 2 and Simcity 3000 :)

Most of the time, I didn't do my primary job, but instead manned the communications set - a most irritating job, because, especially for the first batch of men, the signaller was always either sleeping, away on business or watching VCDs outside.

One of the few things that broke the mind-numbing monotony of the whole experience was the 2 trips I made to the Naval Exchange (NEX).

NEX is, I presume, a chain of stores set up throughout the world at places where US Navy Ships dock, to provide (mostly) American goods at reasonable prices to the sailors. As such, it is free of the restraints normally placed upon Singaporean retail outlets. For example, they sell uncensored DVDs (and VCDs too probably).

Before anyone rushes to break into the Sembawang Wharves to get their daily dose of XXX, let it be known that "uncensored DVDs" refers to those of otherwise mundane productions that the prudish Singaporean authorities deem needing of the censors' scissors, just because a flash of breast is present during some scene or other, or it explores themes, or even *promotes* - horror - ideas, that could undermine the traditional Asian Society in which we live in, disrupting the social fabric that holds our multi-racial society together, starting riots that make the Hock Lee Bus Riots look like a walk in the garden, or worst of all, cause the PAP to fall from power! But I digress.

Yes - you can view Hollywood shows in their full glory, as you saw them in the cinema (and probably with some cut scenes restored), without the mark of the Beast (the sticker from the Censorship Board). And all for US$22 - cheap, as far as I know. But then I don't buy DVDs, the only DVD drive I have being the one on my computer, pre-installed when the previous one came in 1998, when it was not evident yet that DVD-on-computer would never take off, or at least not yet, and the only DVD in my house being Grolier's 1998 Encyclopedia.

I didn't buy DVDs, but my total bill in 2 days of shopping came up to S$48 - $24 spent the first time, and $14 the second. Perhaps this is due to my expensive tastes, but then someone told me he went to the place everyday the last time he was on this operation, and he spent $50 by the fourth day, after which he stopped counting.

Some of the goods there were startlingly expensive. For example the pack of 16 Rice Krispies Treats worked out to about 63 cents for one small packet - about twice the price they retailed for when they were available in Singapore in 1999. And NEX had the nerve to advertise "great savings".

Some things were oddly priced though. For example, a 1.89L tub of Breyer's Butter Pecan Ice Cream (with Natural & Artificial Flavours) cost S$2.30. And the variety with Natural Flavourings only was more than twice the price.

On my second visit, there were some A level students who were shopping at the same time - the so-called "tankees" (tank drivers and tank personnel). When I averred that Dr Pepper was terrible, one agreed, with the words, "It tastes like cyanide". My sentiments exactly. I was also asked, by the one who expressed his dislike of The Drink From Hell, if I knew Kah Keng and Kah Seng, his fellow A*Star scholars. Apparently they have jumped the boat from S01 to Life Sciences, lured by the blare from the propaganda machines. Bah.

I like Butterfinger. The saltiness of the peanut butter contrasts nicely with the sweetness of the rest of the bar.

To alleviate their boredom, the men brought along many VCDs. The first lot of people I was with was given to watching many cheap-looking, slapstick Hong Kong-made Mandarin movies, with the only English movie making much of an impact being "Bring It On". Everybody likes Cheerleaders. No wonder everyone wants to be in Associate Flesh Parade.

For some reason, we were not allowed to use the same toilets as those used by the personnel from other countries. Naturally, we got the lousiest of the lot - despite having a very powerful air blower installed to dry the floor, the toilet reeked of the familiar "dirty toilet stench" - the fetid stench of month old, rancid and festering human excrement, more of the liquid variety, thanks to people shooting everywhere with no regard as to their aim. After some though, I decided that another contributory factor was probably the nature of the urinal - it was one of the old school ones, where many people face a vertical metal sheet and let loose their load. As such, there is more room to miss, as the urinal is not curved so as to capture as much of your load as possible, and lots of urine can potentially spill outside of the intended area. So now we know why they don't make this sort of urinals anymore. The sole saving grace - hot water for the shower!

I'd been told that SFI provided better food for the Navy. This illusion was shattered, fortunately or otherwise, as we got our daily rations from the Naval Diving Unit (NDU) cookhouse. Most people probably survived on Cup Noodles and the daily Private Nightsnacks, bought at a hawker centre after the SAF nightsnack had been collected.

On Thursday, I was drafted to go down to NDU to collect rations. My impression that all Navy women have long hair is reaffirmed. And it seems not all women in the Navy are Specialist and above, as I'd thought. Maybe the CPLs and PTEs I saw have yet to be promoted.

At NDU, I also saw some tender souls being corrupted by the Navy. Seeing some boys in VJC T-Shirts, I sidled up to enquire what evil they had gotten themselves into. They were all swimmers, it seems (figures. They were all in typical swimmers' attire - [Poser] T-Shirt and Berms), on a field trip to the NDU. I say Good Luck to them. Mono intake for Naval Divers, here they come (or there they go, if you prefer). The training's even tougher than that for the Commandos :)

Too much sleep gives weird dreams. I dreamt I got Geraldine a $6 Tudung (price includes brooch). Well.

In my boredom, I composed 2 more ringtones - Patapan and Water Music (with trills!). When I find the motivation to put them up, they will magically materialise :)

Since I was so wretchedly bored, I started scribbling down book reviews, of sorts. To shorten this post for those with shorter attention spans, please see post above :)


Worrying observations:

"we seem to be synthesizing characteristics of each other's writing styles over the years."

Grace didn't know who Fabio was.

Quotes:

"Hentai is for boys, yaoi is for girls"

"I don't WANT to imagine you dressed as the pink ranger,okay? That presents a really horrible mental image. Begone!" (sms from Anon)


I think my mother, chastened by my outburst the previous time, will not be so finicky when I am imaginarily late the next time I am fetched to camp. Mmm.

As I'd thought, my brother in law had indeed kidnapped yet another of my teddy bears, the one I call Little Brown Bear. He'd been missing for a while, and I'd suspected his cruel, sad fate, but he was held somewhere in the morasses of their room, so there was no way for me to mount a rescue party. A few days ago, my sister confirmed his fate. They still insist on calling him "Nembear", for reasons unknown, and now insist he's a she. So they kidnap my bear, rename it and now give it a sex change. Well done.

Gilbert is now a PTI at a stayout camp. Bah. That's what you get for joining "Health and Fitness" aka the Bodybuilding club ;)

Finally, there is a pub with a men's night - Thursday's Men's Night at Planet Paradigm, located in the misnamed Singapore Shopping Centre, perhaps the most dismal and least popular shopping complex in Singapore. Men get 2 free glasses of Remy Silver Island. I'm almost tempted to go just to revel in the novelty of it all.