I've probably plugged BrownTown before, but here are a few gems from the latest 3 editions of "Singapore National Education"

"I have also learned lately:

... That my wife got a comment from her hairdresser that her black, uncoloured hair now very unique and rare.

... There is no traffic jam we cannot solve without higher ERP charges, more ERP gantries and ridiculous COE quotas.

... That according to Mr Khaw Boon Wan, Senior Minister of State for Transport, motorists can look forward to more expensive ERP charges and more gantries erected on the CTE, to ease the congestion. (Everybody now, "Beyond Cars!")

According to the same brilliant man, more roads do not mean less traffic (blatant demand, or latent demand, or some fancy term like that), and more doctors and more hospital beds do not mean lower medical costs.

Here's one more for the economic paradox: Having more ERP gantries and higher ERP charges does not mean less congestion along the CTE. It just means more money for Government coffers.

... That to help Singaporeans understand why traffic jams occur, Mr Khaw Boon Wan, Senior Minister of State for Transport, introduced the term "social cost", a cost motorists inflict on other road users every time they add to a traffic jam. To manage this cost, people must be made to pay every time they cause a jam.

So who makes the Government pay the "social cost" when they come up with dumb-assed policies and poorly-designed roads that inflict road users?

... That according to a ST Forum writer, Cantonese TV shows will erode National Unity. In fact, I think it will also be responsible for increase illegal parking, pre-marital sex, loose morals, and in some cases, even male pattern baldness. Civilisation as we know it will cease to exist if we allowed Cantonese shows on TV.

... That maids are the main cause of the lack of entrepreneurs in Singapore.

... That we got Singapore Woman's Charter, but no Singapore Man's Charter.

... That Singtel has been judged as not measuring up to the "world's best standards of corporate governance and disclosure". In a survey of the annual reports of 116 Asian companies, regional journal CFO Asia ranked Singtel 113th.

Even the National Bank of Bhutan beat Singtel.

... That the way to encourage folk to buy original music and not steal it off the Net is to piss paying customers off. It is getting harder to support original music. I was going to buy the "I Am Sam" soundtrack I saw in the store but I decided not to because it was corrupted. The cover stated that "This Audio CD cannot be played on PCs".

Too bad. That is one less "copy-protected" CD to spend good money on. At least they were honest, not all corrupted CDs are marked like this.

... That HDB racial quotas are okay, but "Racial quota for schools 'not the way to go'" (ST Sat 2 March 2001).

But it is okay to have exclusively Chinese Special Assistance Plan schools.

... That before Singaporeans cry foul against The Singapore Petrol Cartel, they need to remember The Other Singapore Petrol Cartel, PAP Petroleum ("PP: Pumping Our People for Profit") keeping it all in the family with the Three-Quarter Tank Rule.

... That petrol companies are not colluding or acting like a cartel. They just happened to raise their pump prices the same amount at the same time. And for the same reasons.

... That maybe if we can get Singaporeans fired up about a 4-cent per litre increase in petrol prices, they will forget that they are paying the earth for their ERP, COE and car taxes.

Wag the Dog.

Little Known Car Facts #473: The price you paid for your new Toyota Corolla could have bought you a new Mercedes C200K Elegance in Australia. But you don't want to migrate, citizen. You never read our village newspaper? Australia all bladdy racist, one.

... That CASE will probably not "see red" over any increases the Government makes on car ownership in Singapore. Because the Government is not a company and we are not consumers of the Government, what.

Pop Quiz: Which of the following is more likely to happen?

a. The Petrol Cartel bucking under the pressure from CASE and lowering their prices.

b. Seeing the $100 COE again.

c. The 3/4 Tank Rule being revoked.

d. Cows jumping over the moon.

... That I particularly enjoy driving home late from work, like 10.30pm, in order to experience the free-flowing 20km/h traffic on the CTE.

Stagger your working hours to avoid traffic congestion, my ass.

mrbrown's How to Avoid the Jam on the CTE When Going to and From Work Tip#219: Go to work at 6am in the morning, and come home at 1am.

... That Chu Mei Fung, the notorious Taiwan politician who was secretly filmed having sex with a married lover, will be granted a license to sing in a concert in Singapore. The organisers were given the go-ahead but stand to lose a $10,000 deposit if she does anything related to her VCD. Like talk about her VCD, or take off her clothes.

And Singaporeans flocking to buy tickets to her concert are doing so because they heard she has a great pair of lungs.

... That "petrol duty was reduced in October last year, as part of the off-Budget package to moderate costs for Singaporeans in the economic downturn". Tell that to the Petrol Cartel you helped with your Three-quarter tank rule.

... That the new contactless ez-link card system cost $300 million to implement, in order to fight commuters cheating on bus fares, that was costing bus companies $13 million a year.

Either this will take them 23 years to recoup, or someone down the line will end up paying more for this new technology, which incidentally, failed on the day that some Transport minister was supposed to preview it. Apparently, the software had bugs. Haven't start spoilt already.

I figure it will take commuters 23 days to find a way to beat the system (here's one: a few stops after you get up the bus, you scan your card at the exit, but get down with the masses later).

Ez-link, way up there in usefulness with EMAS and GPS for Taxis.

... That the details of National Servicemen as recorded in their exit permits are made available to the Social Development Unit (SDU) for the latter's membership-solicitation purposes.

Defend your country and get a date at the same time. Where else can you find sweaty hunky soldier men but the Army?

It is nice to know that our government departments and quasi-government bodies (opps, sorry for the pun) are so co-operative with sharing our personal information.

... That the EZ Link system was set up at great cost to eliminate fare cheats (the 60 cents for all trips regardless of distance). The money recovered from this great system will go into buying Smartcard Analysers for bus inspectors to catch EZ Link fare cheats.

... That some MP called for Singaporeans to show their patriotism by boycotting Malaysia and buying their petrol and groceries in costlier Singapore instead. Singapore responded by patriotically creating a traffic jam at the Causeway. Lucky he never call on Singaporeans to give their sons up to die for their country.

When you run your country like a cold-hearted corporation, don't be surprised when your citizens act like hardheaded consumers.

Pop Quiz: The Singaporean, Citizen or Customer?

... That some minister expressed unhappiness with Singaporeans who are not willing to take up jobs that pay $800 to $1200 a month (i.e. take home pay of $640 to $960 a month after CPF deductions).

Maybe their reluctance can be reduced if HDB flats cost $80,000 to $120,000 to buy (instead of the $90,000 to $450,000).

And maybe it will also help if ministers take home less than a million dollars a year.

... That in one of the boldest moves yet to save our ailing economy, some super-duper think-tank sub-committee has recommended a cut to the maximum personal income-tax rate and corporate income-tax rate.

That is so original, it made me cry.

Other bold moves not yet considered are cutting land prices and Minister salaries. But that will be taken up by another sub-sub-committee at a later time.

... That with the new proposed measures to cut income taxes and corporate taxes, and raise the GST, more expats and MNCs may come to Singapore to enjoy the tax breaks, while Singaporeans will pay more GST.

"Lower taxes may attract MNCs, expats to S'pore" -ST April 13th 2002.

... That when you experience declining sales due to an economic downturn, competition from other forms of entertainment like computer games and DVDs, and general poor product offering, you can blame music piracy for it, and you further value-add by releasing "copy-protected" CDs that crash computers and piss legit customers off.

We need to be protect the music industry from CD-burners like we need to protect the rail industry from aeroplanes.