Hoho.

No wonder Ms Bala likes Singapore National Education so ;)

"I have also learned lately:

... That the GST hike will be more palatable because the Government has put in some sweeteners like rebates and such. A pound of flesh for some sweets, sounds like a good deal to me.

... That ERP will soon be implemented for the CTE at night. Hey, those cars who have no other route to use aren't going anywhere. May as well make a few extra bucks from the losers.

... That when you build massive estates like Sengkang and Punggol, you wait till the towns fill up before you think about building extra expressways and roads. In the meantime, there is always the magic solution to all traffic congestion, the ERP.

... That Sony warns that using sticky tape or markers to circumvent the new CD Copy-Protection found in their CD albums (that prevent ripping and even playing on PCs), may result in damaged discs.

I have a better idea. Stop buying CDs from manufacturers that use Copy-Protection schemes, and spend your money on things that work. Copy-Protected CDs are damaged discs to begin with.

... That Government really really wants you to be able to own a car (then you won't think of migrating to Australia to afford one), so they lower the import taxes and increase number of COEs.

But they also want you to use the car less, so they raise the ERP and let the petrol companies any how raise the petrol prices.

So you buy your car, use it less and park at home, but Government raises the car park fees.

Maybe if I hang my car around my neck, then I won't have to pay.

Ke si ka ho lah.

"The revision in short-term HDB parking charges is also part of the ongoing exercise to match the cost of driving with usage, rather than ownership of cars.

We thank Mr Rajah for his feedback.

Wee Kiat Sia
Head, Carparks Section
Housing Administration Department, HDB" -ST Forum

... That an HDB dweller living in a 5-room or an Executive flat and using a covered car park pays about $70 for conservancy fees, and $90 for the car park (new rate), which is about $160.

A condominium dweller in, say, Laguna Park, pays about $170 for conservancy, car park and other condo facilities like condo swimming pool.

You do the math.

... That one of the "Travel" prizes featured on the Wheel in the first episode was a staggering $500 travel voucher to Genting Highlands. I am not making this up.

... That to help Singaporeans in this recession who are facing rising transport costs (parking and ERP charges will go up), the MRT and SBS are increasing bus and train fares.

Hey, that SOMEBODY has to pay for that Toa Payoh aircon interchange and EZ-Link system, and the increase in GST. May as well be you. It's not like you are going anywhere, what with pay cuts and job cuts.

... That when the senior management of our Government Linked Companies fail, they do not get punished, because Singapore does not have enough talent, so even half-assed failures also need to be kept. (Not that I am even suggesting that we have half-assed failures running any of our GLCs. Besides, I cannot afford a Queen's Counsel.).

"On the accountability of GLCs' top management, the magazine recalled that in 1999, listed SembCorp Industries' division heads received a directive warning that it would be curtains if they did not meet new targets by year-end.

The targets were not met, but no one was punished.

Asked why, Mr Goh replied: 'I have no idea. But at the end of the day, when they go, who else comes and takes their jobs? You don't have such an abundance of talent that you can say: 'No good, out you go, put in somebody else'.'" -ST 19 June 2002

... That Singapore has got some little talent, that we have to promote relatives of the Most Talented Family in Singapore. (And in no way am I suggesting that any politician is practising nepotism. I am not even thinking it. Singapore is based on Meritocracy and Meritocracy alone. And besides, I cannot afford a Queen's Counsel.)

... That in bad times like these, the Government is paying the Civil Service only a quarter-month mid-year bonus, compared to the three-quarter month bonus same time last year.

The private sector asks, "Bonus? What's that?"

... That NUS students who wish to graduate must complete their CFM, or Cross-Faculty Modules so that they can be "well-rounded" scholars. So if that Engineering student who got all As in his major and is the Nobel Peace Prize winner in Physics, flunks Comparative Literature, or the English major who is a published poet and Booker Prize winner flunks C++ Programming, they do not graduate.

CFM does not stand for Come F### Me.

Female students who did well for their CFM course are reluctant to say so, for fear of misinterpretation. [Ed: Wonder what Shawn's CFM thinks]

... That in these recessionary times (that we are told in July 2002 actually ENDED way back in December 2001), citizens are told to cheer up and embrace the government measures designed to make their lives better -- like hiking transport fares and the GST, and screwing around with our CPF pension funds.

... That we know that the nation has gone down the drain when we are asked to drink purified sewage water on National Day as an act of national pride and declaration of self-reliance.

This government can make you swallow anything.

... That when you can convince a nation to drink purified sewage water, then raising transport costs, increasing GST, and cutting CPF during a recession are a walk in the park.

... That on the Straits Times 23rd August Friday edition, the front page headlines say "Job scene improves with 7500 openings"

While page 3 of the same paper had the headlines "Job insecurity up with surge in layoffs".

... That PM Goh asked Singaporeans if they were "Stayers" or "Quitters" in this our darkest hour.

So let me get this right. If I am leaving Singapore to seek a better life out there for my family, I am a "Quitter". So my forefathers who left China to come to Singapore were also "Quitters".

At the same time, we welcome other countries' "Quitters", foreign talent who left their country to work, play table tennis, and seek a better life in Singapore.

So incoming foreigners called "Talents", but outgoing locals called "Quitters". Ok, got it.

... That the way you win over the Singaporeans who have settled down overseas is to call them "Quitters". Subtle.

... That, oh wait, we did not mean that Singaporeans who migrated are "Quitters", we wanted to jolt you into thinking about your stake in the country. It was not careless labelling, but a calculated catalyst to stimulate self-reflection.

So based on the "clarification", if you left the country to make a better life for yourself, and stayed overseas for 20 over years, then finally came back, you are a "Stayer". Heck, if you even THOUGHT of coming back to Singapore when you were between jobs in New York, you are a "Stayer".

And all you freeloaders who could not afford to leave the country but yet whine and whine about our government, never hang Singapore flag on National Day, bitch about the slightest increase in bus fares during a recession, you are the real "Quitters".

I hope that clears things up.

... That Singaporeans need to remember that in the midst of recession, unemployment, higher transport costs, and other depressing issues, remember that we have Newater!

Malaysia is the real enemy! Drink your Newater and show them we the can!

... That Eldershield is very good, don't opt out. When you are 65 years old in the year 2027, and you cannot wipe your own arse, you will thank us for the $300 a month you will get then. In the year 2027, $300 can buy you one whole roll of toilet paper, maybe even two (if you get the NTUC Fairprice house brand).

... That there is a very thin line between "Stayers" and "The Immobile"."