"The happiest place on earth"

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Sunday, May 26, 2002

Bookout post:

Restored Post

So this week, promised to be "one of the most fun and also one of the most siong weeks" of our course, was neither very fun nor very siong. At least not so much that it killed us. Luckily, we are still learning paramedical stuff, so we have time to recuperate from combat medic training. Due to the combat phase starting, we're getting more and more water parades. Methinks I'll stealthily fill my water bottle with some cranberry juice next time!

That said, stretcher carrying sucks. Even with light casualties, it's very tiring, and after monday's exertion, my shoulders and lower-arms-just-below-the-elbows hurt till Thursday. We were actually supposed to carry a casualty-less stretcher for a time on Monday, but Kumar -had- to go find a casualty. And stretcherless carrying is even worse. I was so shagged that on Tuesday morning I couldn't walk straight for 5 mins after getting up.

I think repeated sightings of uncovered Malay male genitalia are driving me crazy! Help! It wouldn't be so bad if it were confined to the toilet, but they like to walk around in the bunk in their birthday suits for extended periods of time. Luckily it's largely confined to the Malays. If all the others decided to follow suit (up from the 1 or 2 who do it infrequently now), I'd probably dig out my eyes. What a change from Aliff, who wore shorts under his pants because he didn't like to show off his underwear. But then many of the Malays don't even *wear* underwear. At least they bathe a lot, presumably because they like to be clean.

We had no nights off this week, not even one. We were actually due to have one on Wednesday actually, but NTUC Income -had- to come and talk to us to try to con us to buy their 'Pioneer Policy' (which they'd tried to do to all of us in BMT already!). SAF is probably happy to let all these companies come in to sell us things because they get a healthy share of the proceeds.

Another irritating thing people like to do: When numbering off, the person who's supposed to give the final tally ('x and x blank files') sometimes likes to mumble. Incidentally, it's always a Malay (Ed: On the issue of racism, be assured that this is an observation borne out by repeated trials :) There are nice Malays around. And non-Indians do irritating things too. Like the lame '9 and 2 blanks, 1 in SBO' thing that some people liked to do.)

I saw 2 Staff Sergeants using m100 series Palms. So much for no palmtops in SAF camps.

Apparently one person in another platoon is excused IV (being poked, that is) because he is a national snooker or billiards player. Gah.

Raffi tried to trick me by claiming that he was a Zoroastrian. Imagine his surprise when I called his bluff! Aww :)

Apparently there's a way to stop one's subscription to Pioneer Magazine. But the price is not worth the trouble of unsubscribing, and besides, I want to support Kairen! :)

Jason Lau doesn't believe I didn't cry the last 2 IVs :)

Apparently the SAF, following everything else in Singapore, is kiasu. They're the only military in the world that uses the stupid 16g Yakult Straws that leave permanent scars for IVs.

Some guy haram-ed his Nasi Lemak. He went to the food stall and got a piece of Luncheon Meat put on the packet. Luncheon Meat is nice with Nasi Lemak (sans chili of course).

I'm surprised. The margarine they gave us for breakfast one day was made from Soyabean Oil and not Palm. Wah. And we got "Chicken Chasseur" again. Only this Chasseur (pepperish brown sauce) was different from the last (slightly sweet tomato-ey sauce). Gasp, horror.

Because of the days with Combat Medic training and rain on Tuesday, we had only 1 morning 5BX, but boy was it a tough one. Relatively at any rate. We ran 6 rounds around the parade square and did jumping jacks - 10 counts of 8 and alternate leg thrusts - 10 counts of 4. Not to count pushups for being late. Oh well.

Often when we fall in for 5BX in the morning, we will see the MOCC trainees running. I wonder how early they wake up. Must be tough.

Roy used paramedical scissors to clean his toenails. Eee.

We were sitting around in the nursing room waiting for our break to end. Being bored, most of them decided to play Taupok. Except it was rather unprofessionally done - there was a big space in the middle of the room and everyone was seated in a circle around the space, and when people entered the room they were asked to sit down. Ahh if they'd take lessons from the people in RI and RJ... It was rather violent though - one Bruneian jumped onto the writhing mass from a chair!

It's very sad. About 15 of us were loading the store tonner for the river crossing, when Joshua spotted 2 girls (maybe middle sec in age) in sports attire across the road. The rest became excited when they started up the overhead bridge, and they stopped loading the tonner to take up positions by the side of the road, some standing, some squatting and those on the tonner leaning out to peer. When I pointed out that what they were doing was very obvious, someone shouted "Contacted!" and proned. Finally the sergeant got us to fall in facing him (ie the overhead bridge). Everyone rushed to be in the first two rows, and I was one of only 2 or 3 in the last row.

On Friday we went to Seletar Camp, a gigantic camp with colonial era (or at least colonial style) buildings, with many sections, each with their own guardhouses, for our "river crossing". Except that it was more of a pond - it was not even 50m across. And we never entered the water except to test our lifejackets due to Cat 1 (Lightning Alert). And because we didn't wear garters, my pants kept getting caught on my boots and got torn. We actually had to learn a jettison drill, where we have to throw off our helmet, rifle and webbing in 6 seconds if we're drowning. However, I think that the rush and the panic from having to meet the timing will more likely get you entangled and decrease your chances of survival. At least the food we got from there was much better than that at SMM. And we had PORK! It's been so long since I've had pork in an SAF camp, and luncheon meat doesn't count (tis nice, but more squishy meat). So SFI -can- cook good food.

Some of my bunk mates call one sergeant Sergeant Fei2 Rou4. Not only is this an approximation to his name, it does describe him somewhat :)

I'm sick of people, especially the "garang" sergeant, making bad polar bear jokes! Grr. Maybe I'll bring in my pig next week.

Next week, on Tuesday night I believe, we will have our OC night, a night for us to relax and have "fun". Now every platoon has to put up 2 items, a song and something else. For our second item, we were going to do skipping, with some people performing nifty tricks. As a backup plan, we had Comical Bodybuilding (Well, I was slotted to be one of the contestants. And probably the winner). However, our sergeant wants us to do a sketch. Since the dawn of time, when groups of people have been made to put up performances for events, with relatively short periods of time to prepare, they have chosen to fall back on the time honoured fallback of the sketch. So we will probably have all 4 platoons doing sketches now. And the sketches will invariably be on army life. This is ridiculously staid and boring, going down the well trodden route. Supposedly sketches earn more points, but what's the point?

We are planning to have a chalet on the 8th of June. Someone wrote on the whiteboard, "***** Girls compulsory". When I mused to Joshua how many girls would want to go to a party with army boys and get ravished (with eyes, verbally or otherwise), he replied, "More than you think". On second thought, I agree. Which means it'll be all the lians and party girls.

My sleeping patterns have changed slightly. Instead of spending the whole night on the nice, cool (albeit a touch dirty even after sweeping) floor, I now wake at 4+ and go to my bed. Weird.


Quotes:

"[On Steven] If he's She Man who are the Masters of the Universe?"

"[ICQ msg on the Detention Barracks] We live next to DB. It looks like a chalet wif 2 layers of barbed wire fence."

"[On Pioneer magazine] How come ah, I don't subscribe but I also have [it]? Damn it man, I don't want it."

"I don't possess any of this. L-U-S-T."

"[To me referring to him and Kumar] I think you have a more active social life than us"

"[On there being no night snack and our desire to order pizza] 2353535. Add up, sign 26 extra... [Remembers to put a 6 in front] 32."

"[NTUC Pioneer Policy form] For you and your parents
Take a policy to protect yourself. Do this for your parents who have put in much effort to bring you up... It is important for every person to have life insurance."

"Indian Thaipusam. Vasu put all the IV... Put the 10g, then all the blood come out. (?)"

"[On the cookhouse's cream soups] It's either cream of nothing or cream of water."

"Just in case, the moment you see thunder, you run (lightning)"

"[While marching] Jeebye, don't dig your boots. Drag your boots... That's the way I like it."

"[Khairul to me, coveting my food] What is buddies for? [Me: All you do is take my food and show me your cock.] (are)"

"[On the planned chalet] Gabriel, you drink or not? [Me: Ahh, no] You will learn. [Platoon mate: Gabriel, you smoke or not?] [Me: Ah? No!] [Mate: You will learn]"
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