What can happen when you defy stereotypes for the sake of defying stereotypes

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams

***

Bakersfield Police: Attacker threatened baby during Rosedale rape
March 30, 2009

The woman kidnapped from the parking lot of the Babies “R” Us on Rosedale Highway and then robbed and raped told her attacker she learned not to hold onto hatred because she was molested as a child.

That’s just one of the details unsealed in police reports in Superior Court.

The woman told detectives she complied with her attacker’s requests because he repeatedly threatened to kill her 11-month old baby.

It is 17 News’ policy to withhold the names of rape victims.

The woman had just left the Babies R Us store on when she noticed a man in a tattered military coat lurking in the parking lot, she told police. The woman told detectives she was worried because the man looked like a thug, but she didn’t want to seem racist.

She had just purchased a princess hat for her daughter’s first birthday pictures when the man stepped up behind her and pulled a gun from under his coat.

“The suspect stated, ‘All I want is money. You will be fine. You don’t want anything to happen to your baby. Just listen to me,”’ the investigating detective wrote in his reports.

“She said she walked around her vehicle and opened the driver’s side door. She pushed the seat forward and the suspect got into the vehicle and sat behind the driver’s seat. The victim asked the suspect where they were going and he stated, ‘The closest bank that’s yours. If I see the cops, your baby’s dead.’”

The woman told detectives she was worried because the man looked like a thug, but she didn’t want to seem racist.”She said he had an odor of alcohol on his breath, and the subject stated, ‘Don’t freak out,’” the police report indicates.

The woman offered to give the man several hundred dollars she had in her car, and drove him to the bank to withdraw another $500. The man then demanded she drive to Fruitvale Junior High, where he raped the woman at gunpoint in front of her daughter.

“A car pulled up three spaces north of her vehicle and two women got out of the vehicle. She stated the suspect promised her that he would let her go soon. He stated, “It’s a matter of time” and began babbling about the time,” the police report said.

The suspect reportedly took her ID and stated he knew where she lived.

Then, the victim says there was a change in the suspect’s demeanor and he acted like he was asking her for a date, reports said.

“Once outside of the car, the victim said the suspect wanted a kiss, stating, “This time like you mean it. I want a real one.”

She advised she kissed him and got back in her vehicle. The victim said the suspect walked behind her vehicle to the right side of it. She sat in her vehicle for a minute, then started her vehicle, backed out of the parking stall and left. The victim said she looked back and saw the suspect who had a smirk on his face.”

Bakersfield Police booked Anthony Ray Graham, Jr. for the kidnap and rape about a month later. Graham has pleaded not guilty and has declined requests for a jailhouse interview.

Criminalists with the Kern County Crime Lab said they matched DNA from saliva on the victim’s breast to Graham’s DNA that had been entered into a criminal database following his arrest and conviction on a battery charge.

The victim also positively identified Graham in a photo lineup, reports indicate.

“Graham began his interview by stating, ‘Okay let me tell you what went down.’

”He stated this incident was not a rape, but was a ‘drug deal gone bad,”’ the detective wrote in his report. “He said he was just here in Bakersfield … because a friend of his, known to him only as ‘Carlita’ had asked him to go with her to sell some narcotics to a subject in Bakersfield.”

Detectives say they pressed Graham and he changed his story:

“Graham replied, ‘Well my DNA was in that vehicle because I sneezed and that’s why you have my DNA. He stated he sneezed while he was in the back seat. Graham continued to deny (his involvement) for approximately half an hour to 45 minutes. he then stated, ‘Okay, I’ll tell you what happened. Yes, I did kiss her breast, but she allowed me to.”

Rape experts with the Alliance Against Family Violence and Sexual Assault’s Outreach Center would not comment on this particular case, but said relying on instincts can often save a victim’s life.

“Pay attention to those gut feelings if something does not feel quite right to you. It’s OK to walk away from your car and go somewhere else,” said Alliance Outreach Center Supervisor Carrie Zerafa.

Graham is set to go to back to court Friday to set a trial date.

For more information and resources on sexual assault: http://www.kernalliance.org/

(This was originally from Kget but is no longer available.)


It's quite childish to go against something for the sake of going against something (as opposed to, say, doing it because of its inherent value) (see also: When overzealousness in rejecting stereotypes makes one less accurate).

Yet, it can go beyond (relatively) harmless immaturity to cause you serious harm.

As a side note, the Alliance Against Family Violence and Sexual Assault’s Outreach Center could be indicted for racism, since "as we all know" people have racist instincts.

Addendum:
Keywords: didn't want to be racist, afraid of being racist, scared of being racist, scared to be racist, rape, raped