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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Australia 2011 - Day 7, Part 3 - Alice Springs, Darwin

"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week." - Will Rogers

***

Australia 2011
Day 7 - 4th August - Alice Springs, Darwin
(Part 3)

The Desert Park had wifi for one to download a podcast on hiking the McDonald Range and an iPhone app for the place. Hah.

We then had a bit of time before our flight to Darwin, so we poked around the supermarket.

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Haram fries which are "Oven Bake" (sic)

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PORK CRACKLE (the Anzac name for Pork Crackling)

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"Male Health Men's Shed

Learn New Skills!
- Gym equipment
- Mechanic's tools
- Leatherwork tools

Use the Equipment!
- Art canvas and paints
- Woodworking tools
- Welding tools"

This sounded dodgy.

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3 days of flying insect splats on the windscreen

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I thought this was going to be my meal - pork crackle and vanilla malt milk; a fish and chips shop was closed and would be for at least 20 more minutes (if they respected their stated opening time), and there were no sandwiches on sale in the supermarket (only roasting chickens).

Luckily, my palate and stomach were saved by a KFC (well).

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KFC menu

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Lunch. The gravy was tastier than in Singapore (no surprise given how Australians love gravy). The fries sucked though - they were hot but not crispy. Perhaps they were meant to be dipped in the gravy - I did this anyway, especially as there was a LOT of gravy (see above about Australians).
I'd been told that the kualiti of KFC in Australia was lower than in Singapore, but I found it to be about the same. The fillet burger was bigger than in Singapore and the mayo was more sour.

We then returned the car at the airport. Hertz had a full tank option - at a price of $1.54/l (to fill the whole tank), one could return the car with as little fuel as one wanted. However this was not worth it as one would want to keep some fuel in the tank as a buffer: in town fuel was $1.629/l, which was only 5.8% more.

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Alice Springs Airport - with empty Tiger queue, and French tourists.

Tiger allows one to bring 2 items of baggage weighing 10kg on board. Perhaps this is to compete in the local market.

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"Fly the Flag" (condom publicity)
What about lesbians? They are excluded from the publicity

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"As of 1 July 2008 access through this door will be restricted to personnel from the AFP, ARFFS and Airport Operations and Security... Maximum penalty exceeds $5,000"
Presumably before that visitors could waltz past. And "exceeds $5,000" is very vague.

Alice Springs Airport allowed visitors to go past security screening. I guessed this was because the shops were all past screening, and it was too small to make a real distinction between the passenger and visitor areas.

I'd my stick out, so the lady at the counter asked if I wanted a buggy to get to the plane. How nice.

They didn't check MR's photo ID. Domestic flights are slack.

There was a sign saying that one could not walk or ride on the conveyor belt for baggage. But they always do that at Changi...

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"William & Catherine: Their Lives, Their Wedding"
This was $45, barely 3 months after the wedding. This seemed a bit cheap, but they're not crazy about their monarch.

The airport shop called hair ties "metal free elastics".

The bookshop sold Nuts magazine, but it was British. Cultural imperialism!

"Some girls. My life in a harem" by Jillian Lauren (the girl who was in a Bruneian harem) was on sale. I doubt it's on sale in Singapore, since that might cause a diplomatic incident.

There was a magazine with very WTF copy:

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Landing in Darwin we found it to be hot but bursting in life compared with Alice Springs.

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I think this was what I thought was "Porkies" but was actually "Pokies"

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Brochure on petrol sniffing. Of course, this is for the aborigines' benefit. Amusingly there are links to be drawn between petrol sniffing and the inhalation of substances for religious purposes.

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Mitchell Street, a multicultural street crowded with young white partygoers.

For dinner I had pizza at "Mitchelli's the Pizza Place", which claimed to have Darwin's best pizza. I crossed my fingers, hoping it was better than what I'd had on Lygon Street in Melbourne. I wasn't confident, yet the other options: Vietnamese and Thai among others, didn't really excite me.

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Menu. Carbonara pizza??? It has no egg or even cream sauce.

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You can see their priorities - the alcohol menu is longer than the one for food, despite it being a "casual pizza place"

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10" Jester: a tomato base, mushrooms, ham, tiget prawns and cheese
It was horrendously stacked, but the same rule one applies to prata can be applied to pizza - too many toppings ruin them.
Excess of toppings aside, it was mediocre. Despite the lack of an Italian legacy to live up to it was about the standard of Papa Gino's in Melbourne. Again I couldn't really taste the tomato base, and it was a bit cremated; I'm not a diehard follower of the Italian tradition (I like California Pizza Kitchen, even Japanese pizza) - I just ask for my pizza to taste good.

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"Happy high herbs. If you're not happy about the bans on the synthetic weed products: MAKE SOME NOISE!!!"

We then went to stock up on supplies for our journey the next day.

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"Ideal for: BBQ's" (sic)
Would you use pittes for pizza???

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"Real Stock" (there's no pork though)
What do the Aussies normally use? Fake Stock?

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"In a Biskit Crispy Bacon"

They had chu qian yi ding instant noodles.

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"Chocolate biscuits" is a different category from "biscuits"
They also have "longlife milk"

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Which contrasts, of course, with "freshmilk"

Cole's had no People or Picture magazines. There was Maxim but the pictures were all "proper".

I was unable to find Krimer and other Krap.

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There was also a category of "audio visual"

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Vegemite scrolls. Ugh.

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"We Need You! Help round up our abandoned trolleys."

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Cruel humour or empowering?

I took a walk by the seaside (the Esplanade) and encountered:

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Wtf sprinklers. Among other things they watered the pavement.

In The Esplanade there was also:


Wtf toilet. The most surprising bit was the muzak: Burt Bacharach gives me constipation.

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Free condoms

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Draconian approach to alcohol

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Strange booth to sit in


Solo tastes better than Lift - it has more body (both are citrus soft drinks). The edge reminds me of Schwepps bitter lemon, except it's not bitter but cuts gently.

No one used foursquare in the Northern Territory; I got many mayorships.

There's so much deadly wildlife in Australia, yet you have men walking around in shorts.

Most restaurants boasted that they were "fully licensed". Are there half-licensed places?
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