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Meesa gonna kill you!

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Friday, July 22, 2011

What they cut in 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (2/2)

"The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius." - Oscar Wilde

***

1) After our Hero comes back with a Donkey's Penis, he takes a woman and we see the tattoo on his back as he thrusts (complete with Jap AV moaning and her slapping him)

The Prince hits the erection of a watching soldier and asks him to call Dongmei.

As Dongmei enters a girl is trying to mount another missionary style in the background.

Dongmei tears her robe off and pulls the Hero away from the girl. She is shocked seeing the Hero's front aspect, then swallows her reservations and impales herself on him while the first girl hugs him from the side. The first girl then goes behind Dongmei, which puts me in the mind of 2 girls riding a Bactrian Camel.

Dongmei tries to stand up but is pulled back down. The first girl hugs her from behind as they bounce.

As the Prince watches on impassively, a woman behind him gets excited.

Now we see Dongmei below the first girl as our Hero attacks them from the rear. The first girl collapses in exhaustion as Dongmei continues at it. She endures for only a little longer.

Our Hero smiles at them both and emits the usual Insincere Chinese Laughter. He waves a finger at the Prince and demands ten. The Prince orders the woman who was behind him forward. Two two-girl couples break and move towards him. They all swarm him on a yellow glowing stone (there are definitely more than ten girls now).

The screen goes black, and when we return it's to various scenes of him doing the girls and tiring them out. The Prince is infuriated and his eyeballs bulge. He straightens his robe in anger and storms off.

We see exhausted women lying around, then one sucking a hand.

Our Hero, despite having serviced more than 10 women, is still walking around with a cloth covering his member. It looks like a Koteka (penis sheath).

2) When the concubine threatens to kill herself, and Yuxiang says they don't have to leave, we see Yuxiang and the scholar (who has the most wives in the land apart from the Emperor) doing it in the cowgirl position after foreplay. While the concubines watch.

One concubine asks what they should do. Yuxiang asks them to join in and they disrobe and gather around the couple, stroking the scholar. As Yuxiang collapses on him and we fade to black, we hear the Hero calling her name (this is where the cinema cut to after the foreplay).

Our Hero now looks less jealous as he wakes from his nightmare, as he was upset not over his ex-wife and the scholar indulging in foreplay, but actually engaging in nooky.

3) In the uncensored version they cut the Hero scraping his wound, and the Prince saying that if the worms hit reach his bone he'll die.

4) They cut the Prince forcing the Hermaphrodie to eat the Pill. Instead we get a scene of him doing Dongmei while grabbing her left breast hard and then pushing her chin up. This segues into his almost strangling her.

Then he slaps her, then her breasts (maybe he's pissed off that she's not big enough for paizuri). He then squeezes both hard and together like stress balls and oscillates her like a sine function.

He turns her over and slaps her butt. Then uses a whip. He throws her onto the floor and uses the whip to strangle her, then enters her again (maybe he heard about the sampan girls in Hong Kong harbour).

Dongmei throws the whip off her neck and runs from the Prince.

He flings a blanket over her and pulls her back. Despite entering her again he still is not satisfied.

She stops moving, and no matter how hard he thrusts he cannot finish. He removes the blanket and finds her dead.

His eyes glower and he enunciates her name painfully. Now we know why he's so upset with the hermaphrodite.

5) When the Prince is torturing the Hero's (ex-)wife instead of a simple flogging he has a horse brought out.

The horse has a rotating flower on its back from which springs another rotating flower (like the Pear of Anguish). The guards then strip her and force her on it, putting a ball on each foot, chaining her waist and forcing her down onto the rotating flower (incidentally this is the same rotating flower which pierces the Prince's throat later, killing him).

One guard then flogs her as another turns the horse's tail as if it were a crank (presumably operating the rotating flower). We see very fake blood oozing down her leg, looking like jelly worms.

6) The poison the Prince give the Hermaphrodite takes effect in 6, not 12 hours now.

7) When the Abbot finds nothing wrong with the woman sent to seduce him, he tries to get help but she grabs his shoulder to stop him and tells him some strange story about a congenital disease giving her stomach pain on the first and fifteenth of the month.

"Your belly and my belly stick together. I will soon eliminate the pain"

The Abbot protests that he's never heard of this, and she says it's a friendly gesture and pushes him over, positioning herself above him and starting to dry hump him. He tries to push her away but is too weak.

"Other people say Well good belly"

The Hero's friend rushing on the horse to warn/save the abbot now takes on more urgency.

8) 2 muscular men in metallic masks tear off the Wife's robe and fling her backwards with chains.

This is followed with a scene of the seducer on top of the Abbot (both are clothed). She then undresses as he asks why she is doing so. The abbot displays the typical Chinese drama obliviousness about women in men's clothing and realises she is a girl after seeing her breasts.

She then motorboats him slowly while hovering over him. As she forcibly kisses him he cries weakly for help.

She moves south, removes the sash tying his robe together then sucks his neck while he protests. She continues to catbath him. She whacks his member, then takes up a needle and jabs his stomach.

While she buries her face in his robed crotch, he chants and counts beads:

"Sex is zero, the color is empty"

9) After the knife-thrower scene, we are back in the Main Hall of the Prince's complex. Three masked men are holding the Wife aloft by her limbs. The Prince does her while she cries.

We see the abbot chanting the same line again. At this point the hermaphrodite appears outside the hut and blows a colourful smoke inside (apparently Buddhist Abbots respond to attempted rape by chanting and counting beads, and not with self-defence).

As the smoke attacks the Abbot, he stops chanting and counting and embraces the seductress. He starts acting like the other men in this movie, attacking her breasts. He then disrobes her and gets at it.

As he climaxes he has a sudden realisation and chants "Amitabha" repeatedly.

"Sex is zero, air is the color"

She asks if he is empty now and all he can do is say "Amitabha" miserably.

10) As the Hero is making his love vow to his wife after her chastity belt is fastened we see scenes of his depravities over the monologue. Of course since all of these depravities were cut in the cinematic version they weren't present in flashback either.

11) When the Prince says his guards can flee and one moves to leave, he cuts off his head. This was offscreen in the cinema and is the only cut gore I have noticed.

12) The uncensored version seems to have cut miscellaneous gore from here and there.
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