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Meesa gonna kill you!

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Thursday, July 21, 2011

What they cut in 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (1/2)

"The best time to plant an oak tree was twenty-five years ago. The second best time is today." - James Carvillee


It was big news that 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy was not cut for distribution in Singapore.

What many miss is that the international version is 33 minutes shorter than the original cut, and 27 minutes shorter than the Hong Kong version.

Though I am informed that "this "international cut" also varies when compared to other versions censored for countries outside of hong kong. in fact, every country showing this film has had different cuts. and that 'international cut' here is a meaningless term, PR fluff"

Having had the chance to watch the première tonight, I was able to see exactly what got cut. And believe you me, it does make a difference - though not enough to explain why John Lui of the Straits Times gives it One Star while CNNgo loves it.

Here're the parts that were cut (this won't make sense unless you've already watched the film):

1) At the start, the Prince fondles the breasts of the statue of Guanyin. That's why the people in the temple are so pissed off.

2) During the wedding night scene, they probably cut most of his fondling and very possibly all of his sucking of her breasts and remarking "so fun". My movie partner said he noticed a cut during this scene so I am probably right.

3) The instrument with which the Prince smashes the Red Jade Coral is first used by him to stroke the breast and face of the girl whose breast he earlier uses as a floormat

4) Before our Hero consumes the tea before entering the magic orgy chamber, there's a gold confetti-covered vision of 2 girls making out and groping each other.

Some of the scene introducing us to the orgy chamber was pobably cut also, like where we're introduced to the guy with 127 wives (he later gets a 128th) who knows our Hero. He's the Prince's friend so he has free access to the place.

5) Part where more than 2 people are humping on a rocking horse in the background seemed to have been cut - the scene where the girl who can boost your yang is being introduced. This was possibly a pan and scan cut as all of the dialogue couldn't have been squeezed into the remaining time. Either that or alternate scenes were filmed.

6) They cut the sex between the yang boosting girl and our Hero. She uses a needle in her hairpin to do acupuncture on him, so it's not [just] her private parts that are magic in boosting your yang.

They also cut an implied handjob she gave him, and where she jabs a needle into his back and he screams in pain and then realises something.

Then you see them doing cowgirl, and doggy style between the two - that's why the Prince fondles a green jade figurines of lovers in doggy style.

The two of them then fuck on top of the penis fountain. They cut that bit before where they copulate with her touching the priceless painting. The part with the priceless painting where her breasts are swinging as she's being thrusted into is cut.

7) The tattooing scene is cut because they start by tattooing a woman and she fondles her breasts during the tattooing, and she seems to be enjoying the pain.

The Hero asks the Prince how come it didn't hurt for her:

Prince: "Suffering is a certain Produce the illusion of climax is worth"
Hero: "So amazing"
Prince: "You try to know"
Hero: "I do not engage in"
*cuts to painting of a river valley*
Hero: "Royal Highness. Can I take a look at that picture"

Girl being tattooed: "Strong points" *tattoo is being finished by rubbing edges*
"Vigorously" *she grabs her crotch*

The Hero points out that the painting he asked to look at is a fake, and examines it with a magnifying glass. He says it's off by 300 years.

It's Southern Dong (?) the world's oldest painting, but "this solitary Dongshan people try to be smart. Get hold of fake printed up". Apparently it's misidentified (and so worth more than they originally thought)

Meanwhile the girl being tattooed is moaning like in a Jap AV (she's probably an AV idol). As the Hero and Prince leave the Hero looks at the girl being tattooed with a curious eye.

Then they go to the treasure chamber you cannot enter or you'll be executed for doing so, and the Prince puts the painting inside the treasure chamber (now we know why he's doing that and why it's so valuable)

8) The part when the Prince gives the girl to him after he keeps the painting was partially cut; she poses less in the cinema and I don't remember her pseudo-mounting (going on top of him while he's clothed).

(this is the girl who yawns and plays mahjong when being serviced by him)

Possibly some of his servicing her while playing mahjong is cut.

9) When the Prince makes fun of the Hero for having a small dick he throws the chain in his hand so it fastens on the penis sculpture (on the fountain?), and takes the girl up and thrusts into her while swinging in mid-air on the chain.

The mahjong girls are amused and the Hero flabbergasted.

She bites his shoulder while they're swinging until there's blood, then he lets go and they fall to the floor and they do it standing up with him behind. Then he lifts one of her legs up and he goes in front of our hero and everytime he thrusts into her, the girl's moaning face is thrust into our hero's, and she puts an arm on his shoulder for support.

Then the Prince does her doggy style and stares pointedly at our Hero, and even turns the girl so she faces the Hero directly. Then blood drips from his shoulder onto her back.

He finishes off and throws her forward with a mixture between a grunt and a cry of triumph and disdain, then he insults our hero for having a small dick (it makes much more sense now - in the cut version it's just "I have a big dick, you are small").

However in the cinema we caught a brief closeup glimpse of a tiny penis, but not here for some reason. Instead they Japanese AV pixellate his genital region (in a medium length shot - not a closeup), then we see a focus on the murals of sex in the background.

10) The divorced wife is remembering [Ed: her maids'] sapphic bathhouse pleasures while she's picking up the coins she threw onto the floor - no wonder there's female moaning when she's stringing the coins.

And the girls smile coquettishly at and clean what looks like a double sided dildo (though we only see one end).

Then we see one woman jerking the dildo while behind another, and both moan (in fact the one in front moans more). Although from the angle it's only going into the one behind.

The implication is women can't satisfy her (the wife) She's using the moaning as a backdrop to her masturbation - the rape scene later makes more sense, as does the flashback to her husband kissing her breasts.

Also when she's thrusting the string of coins into her we see the 2 women in contact front-to-front and their jiggling against each other, and more Jap AV pixellation.

11) The hermaphrodite flashes her breasts at the Hero and presses them together, and they're unnaturally squishy.

12) The rape scene was shortened in the cinema. She doesn't seem to be putting up a very hard fight and her blows are like massages.

After a while the sex becomes consensual - but then we've seen that she misses men (and previously ogled at her rapist)

When he thrusts from behind water splashes at the screen. No doubt this looks better at 3D, and is supposed to resemble something.

He even eats her out and she's long stopped hitting him. Now she's just rubbing his head, and she flings her hair around like a shampoo model before he goes reverse cowgirl on her.

After he comes she puts a hand tenderly to his neck - no wonder the villagers were trying to drown her later. It was consensual.

13) When the Hero tells the disciples he's getting a cock swap you can't hear what he says - it's only when the disciples repeat it that it becomes clear.

14) They even AV pixellate the dropping penis and the horse penis.

As you can see, the cuts do add something to the content.

I will probably do Part 2 tomorrow.
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