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Pointy-Haired Boss: We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire. I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful.
Acting Coach: Are you dead or just non-expressive?
Dilbert: It's called a 'job.'
Keywords: i hired an actor, downsize my empire, it's called having a job