"My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them." - Penn Jillette

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Quotes:

Do you know, some guy said I have a bukkake face [Student 2: Was that a compliment?]

[On St Margaret's] I'm surprised the school buildings aren't polka dots. Then they can blend in.

[2nd upper person on the economics crowd] Just now this second lower girl rolled her eyes at me. I think she thought I was third class.

What should I bring to deal with stupid group members? Intelligence. Not present at the moment... Water, so I can shout and scream at them.

[Me: Get me a drink] What do you want? [Me: Surprise me] ... Do you drink Mango?
[Me: Then it's not a surprise anymore]

[On journalism] I love coming to USP for quotes. It looks like I'm going all over the university for quotes.

XXX? Is XXX here? I've seen him only twice this semester. I'll ask his friend YYY. You two guys alternate. If you don't come, he doesn't come. If he comes, you don't come.

I don't know what an armature is. Very few people here know what an armature is. Actually I know but I'm acting blur on behalf of the other people in the class.

[On a student's explanation] One person didn't understand. So maybe it's just his fault.

It's the RMS value. [Instructor: What's RMS? Come and draw a picture.] *sotto voce* I should just have kept quiet.

Can you explain? [Student: It's very complicated.] That's why I asked you to explain... [On the explanation] If this was an exam question you'd have filled out one whole page and you still wouldn't have gotten the answer.

I'm writing in horrible handwriting, because everything is in your lecture notes. Anyway I don't have better handwriting.

God might still be there, but he's not a useful hypothesis in Science.

[Me on why I seem so free: I do not engage in a lot of-] Pre-marital sex. [Me: ... Yes. That saves me a lot of time.]

[Student: ***, do you use a Mac?] Do I look like I use a Mac? Macs are for losers. *slaps butt*

Are you GEP?... You look GEP, you sound GEP.

Happy birthday. [Me: I should come up with a catchphrase to counter that.] You can say 'I'm GEP'. That annoys me.

[On Powerpoint] Make sure your names are on the title slide... Are you all ashamed of your work or what?

That cursor [is] moving by itself. It's getting closer to Halloween.

You with me or not? *swings head* That means we take a break.

How many of you have seen Bertrand Competition before? *Hands raise* In IO or in Micro? [Students: Micro] You guys know too much. Was today's lecture too slow? *Disappointedly* I had to spend time typing all these notes.

*Drilling noise* *In direction of drilling* Hey! Stop that! *Drilling continues*

What could [Claim] 3 be? What could 3 be? Let me end the suspense.

[On condemning people to hell even if they haven't heard the 'truth'] They could say, 'But I didn't know' and he'd say '*Blih*. Down you go... I know you such that if you'd been presented with the truth, you'd have rejected it'. What can the guy say?

die vine knowledge (divine)

[On God creating us in a way such that we'd act a certain way and only be secondary causal agents] But our actions are pre-determined. Which sucks.

In the other tutorial, they sit in the front two rows. In your tutorial you sit at the back. I can't figure that out.

Some people in Britain think the Elgin Marbles have become part of British National Heritage. I disagree with them. I think what has become part of British national heritage is the conflict over them.

Anywhere in the world I go I can have a hot shower, except for Britain. [Student: You're just being an American]... They have diseases that are medieval. Foot and Mouth Disease. Mad Cow Disease.

The British artifacts in the British Museum in Singapore... I came late. I thought we had the British Museum here. [Instructor: We don't have the Elgin Marbles here]... I was quite confused.

My mom, she's a horrible tourist... She says things that appal me... She's been to so many places, yet in some ways she's never travelled... She goes on and on and on and tells the man at the Turkish Restaurant how the Greeks have such great food... But one of the things she does that's very condescending: 'Oh, they have that here?'... As if it's a revelation... At one level, I can see a connection being created and fostered.

[On the ACM] We can't really rely on our coolie past or our convict past to foster [National Pride]

Liberal arts college... Sign of the times. 'What do we need to turn you guys into?'

3000 people in the woods somewhere. You wear sandals, smoke lots of dope. You also have issues of gender and sexuality. That was my experience of a liberal arts college in the States.

[Instructor: Who here thinks a liberal arts college in Singapore won't work?] XXX has to die... XXX has to die. ZZZ has to die. [Instructor: I don't... I want to keep my job.]

The teacher was droning on and on about mathematics, then he said: 'Now, let's take 5 minutes to do Creative Thinking.'... He flashed some transparency... After 5 minutes... 'Let's get back to work'

[On liberal arts in Singapore] We spend 12, 13 years [in the Singapore education system]. We're not ready for it. [Student 2: To interrupt you, respectfully, then what the hell is this class doing?]

Are you guys passing notes in class?... *sees notes* 'The evolution of the human penis' *I get slapped* Are you the resident expert? Your name is on it. [Student: She had props too. Peanuts.] [Student 2: Carrots.] *I get slapped*

I don't like the National Museum. It's one of the worst museums I've ever been to... I don't think I've been to a museum that downplayed artefacts more than this museum. They have these magnets at the entrance and people can play with them... Things that have nothing to do with the museum.

[On the National Musem] They gave me the little robot... I couldn't figure it out. [Instructor: Are you an arts studentu?] Yeah.

Everything has a narrative, even if it's 'I'm pretending that there's no narrative and I'm being neutral.'

It didn't feel like a museum. It felt like Epcot Center. [Student: It's like the Singapore Discovery Centre]... What happens there? [Me: You get brainwashed.]