Quotes:

[On myth vs history] Muslim academics take a lot of pride in talking to me about the empirical foundations of Islam... Clearly understood agenda that if they could convince me... that will trigger me to convert... I've been in in hundreds of examples... over the years... Why do I need evidence?... You don't need evidence... Making faith real through different impressions of the past.

[On cognitive dissonance] If you hear George Bush speak, the distance between what he says and reality... You have to be impressed at how he believes it.

There's nothing you learnt in school [that isn't controlled] - even mine. I had to submit a syllabus. That's why I often deviate from the syllabus. I had to get it approved.

This is one of the least oppressive places I've ever lived... The oppressive environment you guys grow up in - it's liberating to me... In the past... I've had to write out my notes... Ask my colleagues, 'Is this okay?'

[On Roman heritage] He hated the fact that Mussolini had a cooler past than him.

Selective use of academics... There's a line from an academic somewhere to say anything anyone wants to say.

Hitler didn't fit in this at all. He was a slimy little guy with very few Aryan features.

They let an expedition to that... They had this weird, mystical idea that the Aryans came from Tibet... One of the things - this was on their mission statement - was to look for the Yeti. To prove Evolution was fake.

[On Nazi archaeology] The middle was pretty good... You skip the first and the last chapter... Their data was actually pretty good It was their interpretations that were totally divorced from the data.

[On Biblical archaeology and Biblical literalism] A lot of people who went out to do work took the text as fact... All these early archaeologists in the early 1800s, went out there using the Bible as a map.

[On the Promised Land] Prior to the Holocaust, most Jews didn't want to go back there, because it was a pretty appalling place.

If I were talking to a group of New York Jews, I'd be being yelled at right now... The State of Israel is one of the last great colonial endeavours.

Lee Kuan Yew loves Israel, for many many reasons.

[On Israeli success] One of the only reasons that is possible - apart from lots of American money - that always helps. Then again look at Egypt. They get almost as much money and they're a disaster.

[On renaming everything in Israel in 1949] Sometimes you have a place - we don't have a name for this. There're a few extra on the list.

I don't know if it's a myth or just a racist stereotype... One thing people always say about the Jews is that they're very smart.

[On Kok Ker] They just demined the place over the last few years, so it should be safe. *nervous laughter from students*

I was told not to assume anything... *** said students will rack up in anything... They will turn up in stilettos (?)

I tried as hard as possible to give you guys river views with balconies. But it's not possible... I definitely will [have one].

I don't like vibrator (vibrato)

Kair'm'bridge (Cambridge)

John'terl'mern (gentlemen)

ee'core'nor'micks (Economics)

[On an experiment] Econs students behave differently from everyone else. They're more selfish. [Me: They're more rational ah?] Yah.

[On giving a global NGO more money than a local one] You're the only rational one. [Me: People are irrational. You don't need an experiment to tell you that... {Alternatively} you can say I'm RACIST]

[On Hell] This is just to get the mood. *Plays Black Sabbath Fantasia Synch music video*

You're going to be in such trouble when you have to get one of those things called 'a job'. 10 is too early? [Student: I don't intend to get a job.]

[On IVLE] The really cool thing. You're all monitored... I can monitor what you're doing online. I can see your life. When I click the button: 'Statistics'. It tells me everything... It tells me if you downloaded the readings... [Student: You can zap from the book]... Be careful before you suggest this to future professors. It's better to keep us ignorant.

Business school. It's completely useless... Unintellectual, it's retarded.

[On the best Chinese artifacts being in Taipei] Now of course China wants it back. But 30 years ago they were trying to destroy it.

Someone said 'Red' Indians. I loved that. Completely politically uncorrect. (incorrect)

Find some Germans and talk to them about the Holocaust if you want really awkward conversations.

How many states will adopt 'we were born of oppression, genocide and slavery' as their national motto?

[On Singapore having no natives] Think about indigenous people here... Who did you steal the island from? [Student: It was constructed by Malay rulers at the time]... One of the things that's great. When you talk to people about Orang Laut... Who was here before?... You'd say 'Orang Laut'... Who are the Orang Laut? I don't know. It just means 'Sea People'... Ascribe ownership to people who don't actually exist... Americans... There're no 'Forest People'

[On the ethnic past in Singapore] It's not anchored here. [Instructor: Go one step further. It's anchored elsewhere?

It's too easy to see the State as a sinister man with a moustache twirling it and plotting to take over the world.

It's very easy for us to take big dumps on Singapore and be too hard on it sometimes... In terms of effort [they get top marks]. They dump tonnes of money in the museums.

[On USP] Why do we fund you?... A lot of people from programs like this enter the government.

[On talking to a civil servant] Her individuality would step out and the government line would come in... It was kinda disappointing.

Biopolis and Fusionopolis. They should stick to naming things after White People.

I was teaching some Secondary School kids... Some of them are actually here. [Instructor: You're old, dude. Even I can't say that.]

[Instructor: If you could change curriculums what would you guys change?] Chinese.

[On History] If I had a choice, I'd make everyone read Benedict Anderson and Imagined Communities. [Student 2: At Primary 1?!]

He's so post-structuralist. He comes to class and talks rubbish. [Me: There's a difference between being post-structuralist and being lazy.]

Tell the joke, then laugh. Don't laugh, then tell the joke.

k'lerr'mare'nt (Clement)