"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it." - Rita Mae Brown

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Quotes:

You're counselling someone else ah? [Student: Yah, my gay friend.] Ask him to turn straight. Ask him to turn straight, ask me to turn gay.

'You and gabe gossip about me'. Na hea. If I gossip I will do it openly.

Capitalism is like masturbation.

[Me to someone camping in school for 5 days: You've been here for 120 hours right?]... Well, if you want to put it that way and make me sound like a loser, also can.

[Student to a Muslim complaining about exams: Everyone's fighting the same fight.] I'm fighting for the liberation of Israel. What the hell am I saying? I'm fighting for the liberation of Palesteen. [Student 2: You're going against your own side.] Are there any Jewish people here?... I believe that the Holocaust happened. (Palestine)

[On the take-home] Feminism: your favourite. You can write about your UDs.

[On a Fong Seng outlet] You see the politics going on? They claim to be a Taiwanese food place but they're all PRC. They're conquering them.

[Me: Girls all like to bake.]... Any girls like to program?

[On the take-home exam about feminism] You look like a kid who's been taken into a candy shop. I pity women in the next 24 hours.

Is she bringing her boyfriend with her? [Students: Which one?]

[Me: Women like rich men] That's true. Or I can get so rich I don't need a rich man. [Me: You'll just look for an even richer man.] Yah.

I have an exam at 5 o'clock. I have a 24 hour [exam] now. No time to eat. No time to sleep. [Me: No time to complain. *exit Gabriel*]

Have fun! [Me: You find interviews very fun ah?] Yeah. Because I get to talk about myself.

[Malay to a non-Malay] Too bad you're not Malay, otherwise we can start a racial riot.

Day 1 of your period... Day 14 is when you're most horny. [Me: Your most fertile period.] [Student 2: I feel like a piece of land.]

[Being sexist] This is when everyone ignores Gabriel. [Me: Help, I'm being oppressed... by women.]

Why would I be into tentacle porn? I don't have tentacles.

His blood is AB-normal.

What's a s'whap club? [Me: You swap partners.] [Student 2: Sounds like salsa] (swap)

*Enters room* I heard bitching and gossip. I've very sharp ears.

I shall call her 'Jujube' because 'UD #6' sounds like a contraceptive.

[Me: What's with the shawl?] I'm cold. [Me: Why don't you wear more?] [Student 2: Then it won't look nice.]

I don't think RI boys are as stuck up as RGS girls... You add the feminine ego.

What's BFG? [Student: Big Friendly Giant. Roald Dahl.] Who's Roald Dahl? [Student: You don't know Roald Dahl?] [Student 2: She's Malaysian.] [Student 3: Go home. We don't want you. Only your water.]

I ask you ah. Is the science library 24 hours?... Cos I keep seeing people in the same clothes.