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Sunday, October 23, 2005

The group "Bliss" struck Law, Medicine, Computing and the Conservatory. "The KOTEXERS" were set loose on Science. "Team Ignite" preyed on Engineering girls (maybe they drew the short straw) with "Kotex Engineering Girls' Day Out" and now "Creative Juices Marketing" (IIRC - I know the first 2 words are right) is tackling what may be the most demanding market of all - Arts. Monday and Tuesday will see them pressing their wares into the hands of Arts girls (hell, since the whole school comes to Arts to eat, they'll probably be encountering some girls who have gotten their free samples before).

Since I don't visit other faculties except for an occasional sightseeing visit, I am not conversant with the other groups' advertising campaigns. Thus, I will evaluate "Creative Juices Markting"'s campaign purely on its own merits.

All of the posters had the slogan: "Has there been any revolution without bloodshed/discomfort?" (minor quibble: I don't think using the virgule in a slogan is entirely appropriate. The word "or" would've been better), and featured pictures of such events as the French Revolution. The occasional poster had a picture of what I assume is Kotex's latest sanitary pad offering (forgive me if they have newer ones - I do not make it my business to keep up with the latest developments in sanitary pad technology), with lines showing off its various features.

Obviously, the rhetorical answer is no. Yet, I can think of revolutions like the Agricultural Revolution and the Green Revolution which didn't discomfort anybody. Arguably, those who stuck to the old methods of agriculture were discomfited by the new technology. Yet, if that is the case then other companies making what are euphemistically known as female hygiene products are and/or will be discomfited by Kotex's latest offering. Either way, the slogan is a meaningless one (which shows that they've mastered the art of advertising).

More seriously, the entire business model of Kotex is based on bloodshed and discomfort. If bloodshed and discomfort did not exist, then they would all be out of a job (Side note: Whenever girls complain about their periods, I always recommend a good ole hysterectomy, but that suggestion is always met with a good deal of apprehension, accompanied with cries like "I love my uterus!").

The poster also promised satisfaction or your money back, yet it also promised free samples. Since you don't pay anything for free samples, you can't get your money back.

The biggest oversight of the campaign, I feel, is that it totally neglects tampon users. Tampons are:

- smaller
- take up less space in your handbag
- flushable (this is disputed by someone)
- odourless (I'm told odour and scent aren't the same. Scent is applied, but odour comes from within)
- don't need to be wrapped after use (this is also disputed by someone)
- more discreet
- cleaner (leaking less - "despite kotex and their wings side leakage is always a big problem")
- more comfortable
- don't give you pad rash
- make the bloodshed and discomfort end sooner ("because they are in there actively soaking up blood. pads just... lie there and absorb, tampons stanch the flow)
- free you to take part in more activities (like helping "users fulfill their aquatic tendencies", as someone poetically put it)
- give you more flexibility fashion-wise
- and, in extremis, can be used in the event of a severe nosebleed.

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone not want to use tampons? We say: use this unique, flexible female hygiene product more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Use them often, and proudly! Switch to tampons today!
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