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Valar Qringaomis

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Friday, August 01, 2014

On "Judging" People

Marty: It's hard to find something in a man who rejects people as much as you do, you know that?

Rust: I never told you how to live your life, Marty.

Marty: No, you just sat there and judged me.

Rust: Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments. Everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that, you’re living wrong.

Marty: What's scented meat?

***

Eric Lauritzen's answer to Psychology: Is it okay to judge people? - Quora

"When someone says "don't judge me" or "don't judge them," they're not saying "don't form a conclusion or opinion about them." What they're really saying is "form an opinion or reach a conclusion that I'll find agreeable. Ignore any values you might have, ignore facts, ignore logic, ignore your instincts, and just feel the way about me that I want you to feel."

You can ask that people be fair when they judge. You can ask that they consider all the facts when they judge. You can ask that they apply sound logic when they judge.

It's entirely unfair and unhealthy to ask someone not to judge."


(see also: On chiding people for "being judgmental")
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