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Monday, June 07, 2010

Quotes - 7th June 2010

"They always talk who never think." - Matthew Prior



I came from Cedar. Like half the people were butches.

This official... When the King became older he turned to the Ws. Wine and Women... The official was very sad. He moved to the mountain... He threw himself from the mountain to the river. I thought he was talking about the Dumpling Man... There are a lot of this kind f people [in Chinese history]... After you listen to this sort of story, you also want to fight for your country.

Gabbie, I miss your thingy. [Me: Err] Your handkerchief

G spot... Goal post

Now we're gambling [Someone: Gambling is at least $2 {in bets} one]

[Me to a female friend: Paizuri is something you can't do] Is it gay sex? [Me: No] Does it involve a penis? [Me: No. Paizuri is titty-fucking] [Someone: What's that?] [Me: You're better off not knowing]

He told his sister he had a friend getting married during Christmas [so he couldn't travel]. I was so touched. I went home and told my mother

[To a guy] Did you cut your hair? I wouldn't say it if you were a girl, but I think it looked better before. [Me: Women don't appreciate honesty] It's called tact.

[On someone's knowing what a fascinator is] How do you know this sort of things? [Me: That's usually the sort of thing people tell me] (thing)

Hi. [Me: You look like an Ah Lian] What an opener.

[On why he runs away] This is my thought process. If a girl likes me, then there must be something really fucked up with her mind.

[On the Lady Shri Ram College] LSR is a girls' school. So when you search for pictures on Google you get a lot of funny things.

[Me: How do you know 'creampie' ah?] [20 year old girl] General knowledge lah!

[Me: Does she have a beau already?] *Incomprehension* [Me: A paramour?] *Continued incomprehension* [Me: A romantic interest?] *Comprehension*

[On a Jap girl] She walks like a local girl... [Me: How do Japanese girls walk? More demurely.

Your greatest responsibility in life is to make things better for your kids than they were for you

See, that's the problem with being a guy. You don't even know what a girl means when she says 'no' these days

[Me: Why is playwriting under EN and not TS?] I don't know. Because Theatre people are shit.

I should have worn heels... This skirt need heels. It's too long. [Me: Then short skirt no need heels?] Short skirt plus heels is skanky. Your parents never teach you ah?

[Me: Are you going to pay me back on the spot?] Yeah. But not in cash... [Me: Then in services?]

Most girls don't have any sort of career ambitions... Most of my friends just want to get married and be happy

Filipino girls will do anything in bed. That's why all the Caucasian men -

[Me: I am bigger than you] Confirmed. [Me: You used to be bigger] That was in uni. Then I lost a lot of weight. I'm sorry. [Me: Why're you apologising to me?] I don't know

没有男的 in our group. 好的 taken 了. 烂的不见了.

[On his wedding] We're inviting mostly students, so we don't expect angbaos [Someone: Thanks for the hint]

No Lady Gaga on a wedding day.

There're only 3 guys [who're going to be there] [Me: Men like women, women like women] Nobody likes guys

[Me: I told people, the next time, racial harmony day, I'll come in a loincloth] No, you're not wearing a loincloth to our wedding

[On a SMS] 'How to say "happy birthday" in German' [Someone: Can't he Google it] [Me: Why don't you give him {the words for] 'fuck you']

Just had dessert, eat sambal?

[Someone on advocado being expensive: Why don't you ask your parents to bring some?] My parents' bag is reserved for instant noodles [Me: These Indonesians]

From her side, almost all of them are vegetarian... These food scientists

I'm starting to realise that all the eligible guys are either attached or married [Me: As a good economist you should know that markets tend to clear]

I met 2 pickpockets... [Someone: You said hi?]

[Me: You know that TWG is a scam right] It's a Singapore brand [Me: That's not why it's a scam]

[Me] The best gift you can give to your child - American citizenship

Did you have dinner? [Someone: I had salad] I'm sorry, that doesn't count as dinner

[Me: Is it true brown sugar is sweeter?] I don't go for minahs. [Me: Black sugar? White sugar?...] Girls outside Singapore are more mature... [In Singapore] whine whine whine

[On 'The Secret' Meetup] There are a lot of cheap lays... [Someone: You just have to tell them - 'yesterday I was thinking about...']

You're just trying to be a nice guy [Someone: I don't have to try. I am a nice guy]

You want tea?... You can have mine [Me: I do not feel like exchanging bodily fluids today] Let me know when you do

I think Frigid Girl is very interesting. Because she is so Frigid

I actually have a greater respect for New Media papers than Sociology papers. Anybody on the street can write a Sociology paper.

There's a reason it's called the Political Science department. It's all about politics.
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