"Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed." - Blaise Pascal

***

Quotes:

All the Malays I know in Uni have Arab blood

[Me: How is XXX?] Lesbian. [Me: Thanks, I know.]

Her Malay friends are always late. Then they say 'Janji Melayu'... Malay Promises

[On his office] 90% male... [On the girls] Those who can make it, all but one are attached. Those who cannot make it, all not attached.

[Me on drinking at bars although it's more expensive: Guys can hit on you. It raises your self-esteem.] That only works for girls with low self esteem. [Me: Most girls have low self esteem] I don't deny that

Calcutta had the bombing last year. [Me: Last year was Mumbai. Calcutta was 07. Every year one city will be bombed. What city will be bombed in 09?]

Come work for EDB. You'll be in an environment surrounded by lots of young people. Who will die early of alcohol poisoning.

[Me on being called when busy: I like to pick up and let them listen. Then they go: 'what the hell?'] You're very evil.

[On his/her ministry] You must like helping people, and you don't see the results. [Me: Isn't that the case for the whole of government?]... In MOF, you can screw people over and see the results immediately.

I'm sure our GDP will be greatly boosted if there's some way of recording tuition receipts.

I'm getting very disillusioned with Malaysia [Me: Finally, you're seeing sense... I've been telling you that Malaysia is a piece of shit for years]

I've spent $500 on hawker food in the last week

[Me on his SDU experience: Are they all gold-diggers?] Let's just say the women there are very pragmatic... They're looking for husbands, not boyfriends.

Anyone going South? I'm going to take the LAST TRAIN. [Everyone: BYE]

I've a friend who's so black that when you take a picture of him, you can't see his face.

Women's studies majors are either very feminist or lesbian or very pretty.

[Me: Real Mexican food is different from what you find outside Mexico.] Real Mexican food gives you diarrhea.

I've never thought Singaporean men like boobs, but ever since I got bigger boobs I've noticed them staring a lot more

[On Japan] There was this old woman in front of me in the queue... Her bag had a tag which said 'What's up bitch?'

If you take away the choreography and people on stage, it's quite good... The music is okay.

It's the best musical I've seen this year [Me: Is it the only musical you've seen this year?]

Libertarianism is just filled with crazies of all stripes

[On buying 12 boxes of eclipse mints at the convenience store and not the supermarket] I have a terrible sickness [Me: It's called stupidity]

I prefer small breasts. [Me: Okay. What's your definition of small?] C and below.

[Me on eating long strands of ramen dangling from chopsticks in the air: Do you want me to feed you?] *points chopsticks up facing me* Read between the fucking lines. [Me: It's empty]

[Me: Bukkake is cold noodles with stuff on top of them.] What stuff? Women?

After I take them I will post them online. What else would I do with them? [Me: I hope you don't do that with your girlfriend's nude photos]

[Me on a transvestite who cannot go out in drag: Why doesn't he go to JB?] I think it's way too dangerous. If you go to JB in a BMW with Singapore plates. Dressed as a tranny.

She's my rubbish bin. [Me: I want a rubbish bin too.] No, she's mine!

[Me: What's your claim to fame?] [Someone: She does things with horses] That sounds very wrong.

[On my resting my head on someone's shoulder] They all very sweet, those two. [Someone: You didn't see him raping me]

[On a string of Mamee seasoning] However much I respect you, I thought you were bringing in a pack of condoms.

UD? I want to know what happened. [Me: Nothing happened.] Yah.

[On the NUS Engineering Western food uncle] I can't stand him, because he's more guai lan than me.

You burn through girls like you burn through modules. [Me: Girls burn through you like modules burn through you] [Someone: Okay, this is getting awkward] [Me: No, I'm enjoying it very much]

My hair is not that bad. [Me: But it's not that good either]

[Me on a fire alarm: I smell something burning] Maybe it's toast.

I've gained 2 kg since my relationship started. [Me: Why?] Because I'm pregnant.

[On SMU employment] Do you know why? The members of the Board of Directors have committed to hiring their graduates.

Vanaigrette (Vinaigrette)

Staffed Sea Cucumber in Homemade style (Stuffed)