"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings." - Ed Gardner

***

For the clueless, my beloved understudy explains:

"Correct me if I'm wrong: 'Hor lan' is army lingo for feeling hopelessly lost. I believe it was derived from the root word 'Holland'. Usage: Even though he was furnished with a map with adequate directions, he still managed to 'hor lan'."

***

Seen in a Suntec City toilet:

"Fancy watching your next movie with a new female friend? Group date available! Register now! www.gomoviedate.com"

I wonder if the female toilets ask if patrons fancy watching their next movie with a new male friend.

Website main page:

"Experience the thrill, anxiety and suspense of meeting a new friend in a dark & cozy cinema! You know absolutely nothing about your date.... your heart is pounding in excitement, your palms sweaty with anxiety, your head spinning in a whirlwind of motions.... you're waiting minute after anxious minute for the movie to end so you can turn to introduce yourself and finally see your date face to face

Sounds fun? That's what gomoviedate.com is all about! Sign up now and join in the fun, thrill and excitement of the dating game. Get ready for the most thrilling experience of a lifetime. Let's get going!"

Uhh.

Unfortunately they're sexist:

"Bear in mind - guys always pay for the moviedate! This includes the cost of movie tickets and an administrative charge. That's why FEMALE MEMBERS GET A LIFETIME OF FREE MOVIES! Be a sport guys."

Whoever said it was bad to be born a woman? These companies all have their business models right. Where there're women, men will come. It works for bars and clubs' Ladies' nights and ladies-only chatlines, so it should work for this site.

The date tips page is also a hoot: "Avoid repetitive issues like talking about your EX-Girlfriends, footballs or your army days!"


In Carrefour, I saw a boxed off area with this sign: "Restricted for age above 18 years old". My first reaction was to go: "What the hell?! Since when were Adult Movies legal here?" On further examination, I noticed that the area was marked "R Movies". On going inside, although I found many NC16 and M18 movies - including uncut versions of movies butchered for local PG/NC16 cinematic release (good for them!), I saw no R21 ones. So much for "R Movies".

***

Any ideas on what exactly French Vanilla is? Is it even a vanilla at all?

"French Vanilla, as in ice cream, refers to technique, not an actual product.
French Vanilla ice cream is a cooked ice cream, while good old fashioned "regular" vanilla is not cooked. In French Vanilla Ice Cream, egg yolks and sugar and vanilla are cooked to create a custard, which is then combined with milk or cream, then churned and frozen until solid.

Any ice cream with a custard as a base is in the "French" style. It takes an extra
step, but you can most certainly tell the difference in taste, texture, and most notably in color. French Vanilla Ice Cream has a yellow hue, a result of using egg yolks. If you buy a carton of "French Vanilla" and a carton of "Vanilla" [like Breyer's] you will see and taste the difference."

***

Former ex-gay outraged that ex-gay group refuses to remove his picture from website

"Exodus International, a worldwide umbrella group for the ex-gay ministries, was accused today by former member Shawn O'Donnell of misrepresentation for continuing to post his picture on the front page of its web-site, even though he is now an out and proud gay man... O'Donnell is included in a group photo at the top of their web site www.exodus-international.org - a photo that has also been used in the group's ads to show that that homosexuality can be cured.

"I can honestly say that in five years, I did not meet one person that I believe had truly changed," said O'Donnell. "What Exodus is doing is damaging lives. They give false hope and when people fail to change they consider killing themselves, as I once did. The harmful work of Exodus almost killed me and I don't want others to suffer.""