When you can't live without bananas

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Sunday, November 14, 2004

"The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism." - Norman Brenner

***

Since I haven't been blogging much, and a picture speaks a thousand words, here are some voyeuristic shots for your visual gratification.


The carbon arc 'lamp' I did up a few weeks back:


My setup - 8 'D' cell batteries, crocodile clips, 0.5mm mechanical pencil lead and stands made by driving a nail through disposable chopsticks into erasers.


Close the circuit and a glow starts




Peak brightness! You can't tell from the photo but look directly at this long enough (a few seconds, say) and your eyes are going to hurt for hours (I speak from personal experience)


The carbon electrodes are worn to points at the tips

Heartfelt thanks go out to Shu Huang for his time, suggestions and encouragement. Thanks also go out to Xephyris, Min Rui and Ban Xiong for coming down to support me.

[Someone: i was going to tell u that ur photos show what a nerd u are
then i saw the last photo and verdict: damn cool

Me: haha so you're a nerd too

Someone: hey i'm from computing
bastion of nerds, supposedly
u shouldnt defy such laws of nerdiness


But who cares about home projects? Everyone is here for voyeuristic shots!


GO CLUBBING! GO MAMBO!


GO CLUBBING! GO MAMBO! KEV AND LEO WILL BE THERE (Ed: This was later turned into a PowerPoint Slide Show and shown to someone a few seats away)




Now here's something you don't see everyday. Not one, not two but *6* girls sitting on the floor.

Never before in the Premier Institution of Social Engineering have I seen even 1 girl sit on the floor, for females' fear of dirt (real or imagined) is known throughout the land. In fact, I'm not sure if I can recall if any girls in RJ did this voluntarily either.

Truly, this is a remarkable discovery.

[Someone: good shot in street photography!]

***

Someone: do u know i found out during my SS project that the science ppl are much more proficient in english than the arts students

we had 5 ppl. i offered to compile our project because i didnt trust any of the other 4

2 were science students. this couple
the remainder was this econs girl, and potential ps guy

econs girl cannot write in english to save her life. she talks like a market ah soh and her writing reflects it
the guy doesnt know how to write in formal english. i can blame that on the fact that he was just released from slavery (year 1)

so i can't agree with this in ur blog haha "science grads are functionally illiterate for the most part, so we don't count them"

i was horrified

Me: so the science grads are functionally illiterate. the arts grads can't read or write. "Best" of both worlds

Someone: and there i was, the computing student who had to make sure the rest of them were not handing up their rubbish for marking
NUS is doomed


A source estimate that there are around 50 students in NUS's Arts Faculty with a CAP of 5.0 (ie a PERFECT grade). He also says that half the engineers he knows have CAPs of >4.3.

This is eminently depressing. Why kill yourself for a piece of paper? (and one from NUS some more, someone adds)

Someone: i usually don't bother about ppl like that
they tend not to be human

***

Some Year 4 (?) girl gets caught for smoking on NUS campus:

"It has been brought to my attention that you were smoking... at The Deck... I would like to caution you that smoking is bad for health, not only for yourself, but also for others who are around you."

"Hello? Even polytechnics, where half the student population is under 18, have designated smoking areas! But in a "world-class", all-so-posh university where practically EVERYONE is above 18, there is nowhere you can smoke?! Makes sense anot?

Now smoking in NUS has to be done surreptitiously, with a network of friends posted at strategic locations as lookouts for the security people."

And if you scroll down, for the girls there's a picture of Fredrik Ljungberg modelling underwear for Calvin Klein ("No woman who has passed puberty, is straight, and is sexually aware, can look at this picture and not like him. This is like the epitome of manhood. The Adonis of all mankind. So I'm shallow, sue me.")

And for the boys, there's a post which gushes fulsomely on breasts ("I have it from a good male source that it's near to impossible for a guy to screw a skinny girl doggie-style. Firstly, there ain't nothing for you to hold, either on the butt or the hips. You can't even reach forward and grab her breasts because chances are, she ain't got no breasts.")

There's something for the whole family!

***

Someone: "There is no mention of anything like the caste system in the ancient Vedic Religion which is considered to be the original source of what is now called the Hindu Religion. The Vedic period dates back to around 5000 B.C. There was no idol worship or the concept of multiple gods and sub gods in the Vedic Religion. On the contrary, since the universe was born out of the Great Fire (Agni) in the aftermath of the 'Big Bang', the ancient seers of Vedic times considered it proper to propitiate and worship Agni which constitutes the principal element of what is called 'Panchabhootham' that includes other key natural elements like air, water, ether and earth."

isn't it remarkable that so many religions have a 'big bang' story?

Me: haha
but how would ancient peoples know about the big bang when it was so long ago?

Someone: and when noone existed
perhaps it's in the code of our creation


angasm.org - philosophy:inspiration - nw.t claims that this is the clearest explanation of trans-world depravity he can find but I can't make head or tail of it.

***

Dennis: "How come there's no men.msn.com?" - because everyone reads the women's site, like you did.

...

***

Proud to be “SingapoLian”: A Scrutiny on the Rise of “Ah Lian” Culture in Singapore

According to local sociologist Chua Beng Huat, “Ah Lians” are, for the English-speaking middle-class, caricatures of female youth who are working class or otherwise failures in the competitive education system and market economy in the 1980s (Life is not complete without shopping: Consumption Culture in Singapore). The perception of “Ah Lians” then evolves to become less of a manifestation of class differences and becomes just the direct opposite of self-appointed sophisticated English-speaking cosmopolitans as class differences blur with non-working class people embracing “Ah Lian” culture. This paper will examine the intriguing transformation of “Ah Lian” culture from a subculture with negative connotations to an endearing identity to associate with for Singaporeans. The favourable shift in the perception of “Ah Lian” culture stems primarily from the fact that people begin to find it cool to “play” at being working class. Complemented with a diminishing association with crime, “Ah Lian” culture is endowed with new meanings played up by the media. It is hoped that through this analysis we will discover the influence “Ah Lian” culture exerts on the mainstream society with its dramatic rise in popularity and also unravel the complication of proclaiming “Ah Lian” culture as a truly Singaporean phenomenon.

***

Some views on violence on TV

"My personal opinion on the whole thing is that whenever you see some kid (or adult even) do something horrible, whether or not they watch violent television or play violent video games, it all boils down to that person having some screws loose in the first place, because normal people can differentiate between what's right and what's wrong, and know that going out and beating people up or shooting them obviously falls into the latter category. When it's a kid involved, of course the media is blamed, because it couldn't possibly be the parent's fault, right? I mean it wasn't their fault that they didn't pay enough attention to their child to know they were nuts, and that they were the ones that let them watch and play all this violent stuff in the first place, and then, oh I dunno, they happened to have a gun cabinet or something in the house as well. Those things couldn't possibly be why! The solution is clearly to ban all violent video games and television. But not the guns, of course."

"*sarcasm on* And Loony Toons make children want to stick their fingers in the ends of loaded guns.* This is just an example of how brain dead most college professors are. THey have NO connection to reality at all. Otherwise colleges wouldn't be indoctination centers for the left."

***

The Llama Song

Heres a llama.
Theres a llama and another little llama.
Fuzzy llama.
Funny llama.
Llama llama duck.
Llama llama.
Cheesecake llama.
Tablet brick potato llama.
Llama llama mushroom llama.
Llama llama duck.
I was once a treehouse. I lived in a cake.
But i never saw the way, the orange slayed the rake.
I was only three years dead, but it told a tale.
And now listen child, to the safty rail.
Did you ever see a llama kiss a llama on the llama?
Llama's llama.
Taste of llama.
Llama llama duck.
Half a llama.
Twice the llama.
Not a llama.
Farmer llama.
Llama in a car.
Alarm a llama.
Llama duck.
Is it how it's told now?
Is it all so old?
Is it made of lemon juice?
Doorknob. ankle. cold.
Now my song is getting thin.
I've run out of luck.
Time for me to retire now.
And become a duck.


Wth?! This is as senseless as the badger badger badger thing.

***

Jimbo's Guide To Having a Totally Pimp Xanga Site! [Ed: Any other blogging site will do]

STEP ONE: Have an appealing color scheme. Dark grey text on a black background works, black text on a black backround is even better. As an alternative, choose neon green text over a flashing yellow background. When your eyes begin to scream in pain, you know you've got it right. (NOTE: Change your color scheme every day. It's hardcore.)

STEP TWO: Make a profile. For your picture, put a picture of another person, or an object that has nothing to do with you. If the picture must be of you, try to make it of your eye, ear, or other single body part. Extra points go to pictures that are completely out of focus.


For "Location", put something absolutely crazy and wild, like "Albania", "Antarctica", or "Zimbabwe." HAHA! It's funny because it's not the country you really live in! CRAZY!

STEP THREE: The content. Make sure posts have no punctuation or line breaks. This makes them much easier to read. And remember, this is the Internet, so spelling doesn't matter. (NOTE: Insert some spelling errors if there aren't any. It's hardcore.)

Posts should be extremely detailed: "lol likk so me n kris wer gona go to da malll but i was lik nuh uh bitch and tehn she wass all up in mah face n shitz but so i then it lik wha? an no way n stuf likk dat an lololol omgomgomg tehn i lik talkd ta her agian an it was awsom cuz she dint lik him but i did sooo..."

...Or extremely short: "2day we went to da mall n shitz. teh end!!1"

Now, you want to ensure that as many people as possible can easily read and understand your writing. To do this, you must master the art of Inside Jokes.

Confuse!
Annoy!
An easy way to not write a lot of shit, because it's hard!
Make almost everyone feel inferior because they're not in on the joke!
BE HARDCORE: USE INSIDE JOKES!

If you have friends, and do things with them, then you can make an inside joke. Example: if you all went to the movies and something totally hardcore happened, simply mention the movies. Do not, under any circumstances, explain what happened.

RIGHT: "LOL REMEBER DA MOVIEZ GUYZ!1"

WRONG: "On saturday, my friends and i went to the movies. We tried to sneak in, but it didn't work. Then we started making fun of the movie employees."


If you want to talk about something else other than your incredibly interesting life, other possibilities are:

Fill Out One Of Those Email Quizzes In Every Post
Offer Your Very Insightful And Original Opinion On a Current Event

Edn TRanZMISZION!!1 LOLL!1 (Happy birthday Julia!)

***

Singabloodypore raises important questions about the growing creep of CCTV cameras in Singapore:

"The threat of the evil-doers is now being used to invade schools and remove civil liberties from Singaporeans. Cameras in lecture halls, sounds like someone is frightened of what may be said in those rooms. The threat from 'terrorism' is the fear of an idea. When will the cameras be removed? Is there a timeline for installation and 'removal'?

Who will protect Singaporeans from their so called protectors?"

Meanwhile TalkingCock raises similar issues: CCTVs to be Installed in Homes Next: Minister

"Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Ni said it was ‘only logical’ that CCTVs be extended to homes as well.

“We cannot be called the Ministry of Home Affairs if we don’t monitor the affairs at home, mah,” said Minister Wong, saying that prior initiatives like co-opting taxi-drivers, relying on phone-in tips, and increasing armed patrols in residential areas were all not pro-active enough. “Terrorism and crime begin at home, like charity.”"


An Ode to the Gahmen’s Increase in No. of Surveillance Cameras:

"Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
They'll be watching you"


"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve
neither liberty or security"

***

Between the first episode until the end of series 11, it has only rained six times on Power Rangers.
* Calamity Kimberly.
* Hogday Afternoon, Part II.
* Trakeena's Revenge (Leo on Mirinoi).
* Ransik Lives (Ransik's flashback).
* Frax's Fury (Frax's and Ransik's flashback).
* The End of the Power Rangers.

(Power Ranger Factoids)

***

EA: The Human Story - "EA's bright and shiny new corporate trademark is "Challenge Everything." Where this applies is not exactly clear. Churning out one licensed football game after another doesn't sound like challenging much of anything to me; it sounds like a money farm. To any EA executive that happens to read this, I have a good challenge for you: how about safe and sane labor practices for the people on whose backs you walk for your millions?"

What's Happened to Asian Values? - Someone sent this to me when I pooh-poohed 'Asian Values' and claimed that it made a case that there was such a thing. However, I find this paper makes the case for 'Asian Values' peripherally at best, and not very strongly at that.

Singaporeans Cheered by Bush Re-Election - "“I’m so happy to be in Singapore and not America,” said talented foreigner Mike Gration. “Where I come from, Texas, the home of George W. Bush, they actually redraw electoral boundaries for their own political advantage to disable opposition politicians. It’s something that won’t happen in Singapore.”"

Pirate wedding party goes bad - "The bride’s uncle pulled a pistol on the groom and best man, who were role-playing as pirates during a wedding reception at the Bounty Lounge"

Library's artist should have checked out a dictionary. 11 of mosaic's 175 famous names misspelled - "A colorful mosaic gracing the entrance of Livermore's new library is of a genre known as naïve art because of its whimsical design and childlike nature. Maybe that explains why 11 of the 175 names and words on the piece are misspelled -- from "Eistein" and "Shakespere" to "Van Gough" and "Michaelangelo.""

Man claims he's Jesus, fires random shots - "Allegedly, Hancock had pointed the gun at Maynard, saying "Stand before me, look me in the eyes -- you need to run, you're the demon."... Hancock had been watching the movie, "The Passion of Christ" earlier that evening and believed he was Jesus Christ, the report says."

Western women can't squat - "A study aimed at finding the perfect way for women to pee has floundered because Westerners can't squat properly."

Crafty sheep conquer cattle grids - "Hungry sheep on the Yorkshire moors have taught themselves to roll 8ft (3m) across hoof-proof metal cattle grids - and raid villagers' valley gardens."

Inon Zur, Composer - The same guy who did the music for a gazillion games also did the music for PRT, PRiS, PRLG, PRLR and PRTF?!
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