Heavenly bodies.
***
A historian and mathematician dined together and were debating which was the more important discipline. "Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it," says the historian. "But think of how mathematics has supported engineering and physics," counters the mathematician. While the historian is temporarily in the bathroom the mathematician slips the waitress a big tip [leave room for Dr. Bob comment] and says "Answer the next question I ask with ‘the natural log of x’". When the historian returns the mathematician continues, "Mathematics is so important I bet even the waitresses here need to know it." The historian accepts the bet and the mathematician summons the waitress over and asks, "Can you help my friend and I settle a bet? What is the antiderivative of the function 1/x?" The waitress replies, "The natural log of x, plus a constant."
Gah.
***
My life inside the Saudi kingdom - The expat life in a well-heeled compound has its compensations, despite the restrictions on entertainment, driving and clothes: "An Arab News article during my time in the kingdom reported that 50 per cent of the nation's road accidents were attributable to women, which, for non-drivers, is some feat and probably goes to show the level of subterfuge the male population must employ to cover its pride. A study of this phenomenon by the University of Al Ahsa concluded that women routinely argued with their husbands or demanded that they stop suddenly at the sight of a nice-looking dress in a shop window, and so caused pile-ups."
Disgusting misogyny.
Inventor's machine is a real kick in the pants - " The idea of a butt-kicking machine first brought snickers and smiles. And then the light bulb went on. And J. Reese Leavitt perceived a business opportunity. He now is seeking a patent for the "Manually Self-Operated Butt-Kicking Machine," and exploring the market potential of the device -- doing research to see who will pay to have some butts kicked."
Orange High graduation remarks plagiarized - "Orange County school board Chairman Keith Cook plagiarized much of the speech he delivered at Orange High School's 2004 graduation ceremony. The speech, which incorporated lessons from the movie "Titanic," was virtually identical to a 1998 speech given by Donna Shalala, then U.S. secretary of health and human services. Cook did not attribute his remarks"
Mammary money-spinners - Even 300 years ago, pictures of breasts sold publications. Chris Arnot reports on research into ballads and the fashion of décolleté: "Certainly, the Venetian ambassador needed no lessons in self-control when confronted by rather more than he wished to see of the elderly "Virgin Queen", Elizabeth I, towards the end of the 16th century. 'He complained of having to face 'her wrinkled dugs',' McShane-Jones says."
Can't stop the pop-ups - "In January, Paul Haigh downloaded Google's toolbar to dispel annoying pop-up ads. By March, they were back."
Spoof of Troy - "It's 1300 BC (more or less), the King of Jericho is smitten by Joshua's favorite prostitute, Rahab, spiriting her away to his walled stronghold. Never ones to be outdone by an arrogant foe, the angry Israelites assemble a gigantic invasion force and besiege one of the most heavily fortified cities in the Middle East. A familiar all-star cast complements the scenic locales, romantic love story and epic battles. Jericho is a historical docudrama inspired by, but not totally faithful to, the Biblical legend. Events are depicted as they may have transpired in reality. YHWH and the other gods are only alluded to as beliefs held by the clashing armies; never does a pivotal part of the story hinge on their actual existence. Will Jericho's mighty walls survive the assault? Will Joshua rescue the love of his life before it's too late? Will the Jerichoans fall for a devious, last-ditch trick involving a huge, wooden Ark of the Covenant? Find out the answers to all these questions, and more, at Cineplex Golgotha this summer!"
***
"Mstislav Rostropovich is internationally acclaimed and acknowledged as the world's greatest living cellist."
Hmm is this because Jacqueline du Pre is dead?
Xephyris: which fantasy author did those names come from? *runs away*
...
***
Source: Imprezzions
***
"The Vietnamese community in Southern California is the largest outside Vietnam. There are upwards of 350,000 in the Southland and over 125,000 in Northern California."
No wonder they can support a pop music industry, and even someone catering to such niche tastes as Wo-hen Nankan :0
***
One day a man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. Picking it up, he pulls out the cork. Sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from my prison. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Perfect! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want.
"First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Suddenly, there is a flash of light and a deposit slip with his Swiss bank account number appears in his hand.
"Next, I want a spectacular house overlooking this beach right here." There is another flash of light and a beautiful house appears on the cliff above them, attended by a full staff.
"Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." The genie disappears into final blaze of light, and the man instantly becomes gay.
(JumboJoke)
***
Interesting Passion of the Christ review I found. Choice quotes:
"Mel Gibson offers an answer, and it’s a gut-turning, child-scaring, vomit-inducing, boring theological nightmare. He works in that rare genre, the Shocking Yet Boring movie."
"Jesus’ character is shown as a somewhat questionable Messiah. It seems to cause him great pain to utter a few words, whether he’s being tortured or not. He is constantly asked perfectly reasonable questions, and he answers with silence and a somewhat drunken look - not made more divine at all by the injuries his face suffers as the movie progresses. If one wasn’t really all that familiar with the character, one would have to wonder - who is this person? Why are we supposed to feel for him? What is his goddamn problem?"
"Mary plays every single scene with the same expression on her face: worry. This is at times appropriate, but mostly, it’s downright puzzling when she’s watching her son being flogged, speared, and kicked. A tear rolls down her face and she clenches her fists, but I have to inform Mr. Gibson that this is how mothers react when their children lose a soccer match; seeing your child turned into shreds of bloody flesh would pull a scream from your throat so primal, no angelic trumpet would cover it."
"This entire stretch of the movie - heck, its last two thirds - are a sadistic tour de force, an exercise in camera angles and special effects that would make Quentin Tarantino go, 'Jeez, I think this is going too far.'"
"The Passion made me decide that if I ever honor a deity again (not that I was smart enough to make a qualified decision the first time), he or she better have something to do with thunder. I want my Savior to kick ass, not redeem by being turned into steak tartar."
