"The happiest place on earth"

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Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Some people like to rationalise their suffering, especially after going through it. I guess this makes it and the memory of it tolerable, but it is nothing but self-deception. One person was talking about how xiong [tough] the obstacle course in SISPEC was, and I said that he should have become a combat medic specialist instead, and slacked for 5 months in SMM. He said that with only one chance to do "it" (whether he was referring to SISPEC, the obstacle course or slavery, I wasn't quite sure), one might as well enjoy it and think my positive. My rejoinder? If one goes to jail, one might as well enjoy it as well, since one has only one chance (hopefully)! It is sad that many slaves grow sympathetic to, and even support the system of Slavery, for they have fallen to Stockholm Syndrome!

We had a 12km route march. This time, the pace was slower, and they were gentler on me, so I didn't burst into hysterics, or histrionics, as some would have it. The thought that this was to be the last route march I'd ever do didn't hurt, either. Actually I'm surprised that I've never fallen out from a route march, despite all my talk of wanting to do so.

Usually, I go for breakfast at the relatively sane time of just past 6am. One morning, however, I had to cover Jaguar's route march, and was supposed to report at 5:45am. I didn't want to faint of hunger, so I went for breakfast one whole hour earlier than usual. At the usual times I go for breakfast, groups of people going for breakfast will have dispersed the dogs. This time, however, it was too damn early so they were still camping around the slope, ready to menace passers-by. I was in PT kit as usual, and as I went up the slope to the cookhouse, 3 dogs from the infamous Gang Of Eight brown dogs, most of whom I recall seeing under the display tank at the School of Armour not so many months ago, when they were still small, cute and docile puppies, but have now been transmogrified into fearsome Cerberii, barked at me. Not wishing to have to run for my sorry little life from the fearsome horde of feral beasts at such an early hour, I backed off and went by another route, by the stairs. However, sleeping near the stairs were 3 dogs of the Old Skool. Though they are normally placid and well-behaved, I decided to let sleeping dogs lie and went upstairs to change to No 4 and get a broomstick, just in case. While I was changing though, I heard a cacophony of barking as the 2 gangs of dogs faced off against each other in a gang war. When I next went down, broom in hand, I walked to the staircase, where the 3 Old Skool dogs were. Perhaps having had their blood boiled by the barkfest with the other group of dogs, they started barking at me and coming at me with their fangs bared and froth drooling from their gaping maws. Forearmed, I brandished my stick in front of me, affecting a threatening pose. When that didn't work and they continued their advance, I started voicing wordless war cries and hitting the ground with my stick. They continued their advance, though, and what's worse - I heard the Gang of Eight advancing on me from behind, adding their barks the the chorus. Knowing when I was beaten, I made a hasty retreat.

I'm banned, it seems, from everything on the face of the planet. I cannot even drink a can of Coke without someone telling me that I'm "banned". Since they want to ban me from so many things, they might as well ban me from 42SAR, then everyone (not least myself) will be happy.

I was covering a company's stairs training and this person fell out, almost collapsing. He then started weeping. I thought I was the only one who did that during training! But it seems his distress sprung from different wells than mine, as he begged to be allowed to carry on training.

Someone likes to kick the stray dogs in camp. His line of reasoning, at least the line that he tells us, is that kicking them scares them away so the dog catchers or the SPCA don't have to be called in. What is more likely is that kicking them traumatises them such that they'll bite us in the future.

My CSM has decided not to call the dog catchers/SPCA because the dogs will be put down. Looks like Sungei Gedong will continue to be a dangerous place.

After wasting so much time preparing for it, we finally got to practice our heliborne skills. Our takeoff was delayed since I had problems adjusting the seat belt and the air crew specialist had to come over and help me. It was a short ride on the Huey, maybe three minutes at most. I got the window seat - there was a nice breeze and a better view, but it was precarious. I had visions of my SAR21 falling into the reservoir, but happily the pilot flew smoothly and did not bank.

Apparently the reason all units seem to have "visions" and "missions" now is that it is an ISO requirement. Why an armed forces needs to get ISO certification is a mystery, to say nothing of how visions and missions are indicators of quality, any more than reams of redundant and forged paperwork. But since the SAF wants to play this sort of game, they should introduce measures that will undoubtedly lead to improved "quality" - performance evaluation forms for regulars filled up by subordinates and complaint forms, much like what we already have in the medical centre.

One rationale given for making people sign book in/out books is that it is to "protect" us so that if we get into trouble or accidents outside, the SAF can protect us. The logic behind this is frankly inexplicable, but I really am very touched and moved that the SAF cares so much and desires to protect those of us holding the rank of Third Sergeant and below so much, but doesn't give a damn about Second Sergeants and above. It almost makes me want to volunteer to do another six months of NS.

In their desire for appearances for appearances' sake, some people like to get medics to open their stretchers and place them on the safety rover. Never mind that it is very very rare that a casualty needs to be stretchered, but opening the stretcher reduces the capacity of the rover by more than half. If there is somebody in it to man the signal set, and an insulator of ice to boot, then there isn't any space left for seated casualties. Furthermore, in the event that a casualty needs to be put on the stretcher, it takes more time to get the stretcher out of the confines of the rover than the open it from its closed configuration.

The saying that tough training is the best welfare for soldiers is nonsense, meant to befuddle and bamboozle the men. The reality is that welfare is not defined as training soldiers so that they will survive a battle! That is training efficacy, and welfare is a whole different ball game. Following this sort of logic, shortening the term of indenture will improve operational readiness since the men will have higher morale. Hell, that makes more sense than tough training being welfare.

One platoon in Pussy company falls out with the cry: "We are the best. Paladin!" My falling out cry? "Krusty The Klown. ORD Loh!"

The next time somebody tries levelling a ludicrously implausible scenario at me to get me to do something stupid or redundant, I should offer an equally or more ludicrous counter. I doubt they'll get or concede my point, though.

After my dental checkup at Tengah, my two fronth lower teeth hurt quite a bit, especially on the first day. The dentist also didn't perform all 3 of the usual treatments - of using that drill thing, applying the sandy substance and using the polisher, he only did the first two. It's free though, so I can't really complain.

Apparently there are no Malays in CMPB, as well as Armour. Oh well.


Hwa thought that Pepsi Twist has no sugar in it. Maybe that's why his girth is fast approaching mine.


Quotes:

He got ATT C for stress. [Me: Wah. Can I also get ATT C for stress?] Try scolding a colonel. [Me: I'll get court martialled] SOL 21 days. That's what *** did. [Me: He scolded a colonel? He's crazy] He scolded the colonel at PMIC [Psychological Medicine In-care Centre]. SOL 21 days.

[Me on my headache: Wah, I need more panadol, man] Don't overdose ah.

[On Anchol Cholesterol Free Drink, a truly vile Korean concoction] Tastes like procodin. Worse than procodin... That's why it gives you energy - you remember the taste

How come your people like to report sick one? How come 46 doesn't report sick? [Me: 42 sucks.]

[On the ridiculousness of not allowing lowloaders on expressways] LTA, SAF - what to do? Next time become minister don't forget us (when you become a minister)

Welfare - the best welfare is the tough training. You all want tough training or not? (tough)

I should be born a girl (have been)

[On a driver] Ta1 jia4 ni3, hao3 xiang4 na4 ge4 game - Crazy Taxi. [Translation: Being driven like him is like being driven in the game Crazy Taxi]

[On my close encounter with ferocious canines] I know it's you lah, chee bye. Only you take the stick and chase the dog. (will take)

Good morning medic. [Me: Hi] You're cute.

[On Kimberly] Why you like this girl? Like fuck like that. (do you)

[On dirty windows] The only thing I never do is go there and write 'F-U-C-K'

[On HQ Company] One whole company of idiots [Ed: Pronounced with a long "i" sound], and I'm the biggest idiot.

[Edited 25th March in deference to the Oracle that is nw.t, who proclaims that in D&D, "the plural of cerberus is cerberii" and not cerberuses.]
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