"Malaysia Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad and the Sultan of Johor are seen in a blue Proton Saga... "When asked whether there is any tension with the sultan, Dr Mahathir said: “No, I don’t see anything because I went to see him and he drove me to the airport. I don’t want to comment on the sultans because if I say anything that is not good then it’s not nice because he is the sultan”"

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Thursday, January 15, 2004

Al Dente didn't use to levy a service charge. Now that they do, instead of printing new bill paper, they resort to cheapskate measures!

You will marry Wo-Hen Nankan. He is filthy rich and will take good care of you. You will get to be driven around in his fast cars and sexy vans. Plus, he has a vibrating hand. Congrats!!!

Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

caning for life.

Caning is a necessary and useful tool in the modern education of young children.

Errant children need to learn at a young age that misbehaviour or inadvertent mistakes may result in violence. On top of caning teachers should ridicule the children in front of the class so as to reduce their self-esteem. Phrases such as "you not so clever now are you?" and "ooh..I wouldn't' like to be your bottom?" are the particular types of comments which a teacher could use after a serious caning.

Should the caning be fatal, the teacher should immediately cane all the children in the class so as to remind them not to talk to the authorities. Another fatality may be used at this stage as an extra deterrent.

Having been a teacher in Kazakhstan for over 15 years, I have found the above techniques essential in maintaining respect for teachers despite the fact that class discussion is often curtailed. But then, there's nothing a good caning can't help! (a touch of caning humour).

I hope that these points have been useful and should you need to any further advice on specific caning techniques or situations in which caning is necessary (oh and there's lots) please do not hesitate to contact me.

Internet 'geek' image shattered

LONDON - The typical Internet user - far from being a geek - shuns television and actively socializes with friends, a study on surfing habits said on Wednesday.

The findings of the first World Internet Project report present an image of the average Netizen that contrasts with the stereotype of the loner "geek" who spends hours of his free time on the Internet and rarely engages with the real world.

Instead, the typical Internet user is an avid reader of books and spends more time engaged in social activities than the non-user, it says. And, television viewing is down among some Internet users by as much as five hours per week compared with Net abstainers, the study added.

"Use of the Internet is reducing television viewing around the world while having little impact on positive aspects of social life," said Jeffrey Cole, director of the UCLA Center for Communication Policy, the California university that organized the project.

Quoted by an anonymous person:

"Could you imagine a world without the internet? I know, it's pretty hard to think about. Instead of sitting on their asses in front of a computer screen people would go outside and experience what the world has to offer. People would create real relationships with other real people instead of making love to an instant messaging program. Sounds good huh? Wrong! The true purpose of the internet is keeping people like that out of the real world. Do you really want some role playing fetish fuck standing in line with you at the grocery store, or would you rather have them stored safely away in front of their computer screen, away from the rest of us? Would you rather have Counter-Strike nerds playing that stupid game for hours on end in their room, or do you want them out and about attempting to trip over third base with your daughter? The choice is obvious. For all that we curse the internet for, it is actually a blessing. It's a kind of prison for those too stupid or mentally unstable to escape it's suffocating grasp. I wouldn't have it any other way."

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand how to deal with women. Now, behavioural scientists have come up with an infallible merit/demerit system to help men manage. Remember, in the world of romance one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here's a guide to the points system:

You make the bed [+1]
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows [0]
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets [-1]
You replace the toilet paper roll when it runs out [0]
When the toilet paper has run out, you resort to Kleenex [-1]
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom [-2]
You go out to buy her tampons [+5] in the snow [+8] but return with beer
[-5] and no tampons [-25]
You check out a suspicious noise at night [0] it turns out to be
nothing [0] it turns out to be something [+5] you pummel it with a
six iron [+10] it's her cat [-40]

You stay by her side the entire party [0]
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old university
drinking mate [-2] named Tiffany [-4] Who is a dancer [-10] With breast
implants [-18]

You remember her birthday [0]
You buy a card and flowers [0] you take her out to dinner [0] you take her
out to dinner and it's not a sports bar [+1] Okay, it is a sports bar [-2]
and it's all-you-can-
eat night [-3] it's a sports bar all-you-can-eat night, and your face
is painted the colours of your favourite team [-10]

Go out with a pal [0]
The pal is happily married [+1]
The pal is single [-7]
He drives a Ferrari [-10]
With a personalised number plate (GR8NBED) [-15]

You take her to a movie [+2]
You take her to a movie she likes [+4]
You take her to a movie you hate [+6]
You take her to a movie you like [-2]
It's called Death Cop III [-3] Which features cyborgs that eat humans [-9]
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans [-15]

You develop a noticeable beer gut [-15]
You develop a noticeable beer gut & exercise to get rid of it [+10]
You develop a noticeable beer gut and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts [-30]
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." [-800]

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding
You reply, "Where?" [-35]
You reply, "No, I think it's your bum"[-100]
Any other response [-20]

When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a
concerned _expression [0]
You listen, for more than 30 minutes [+5]
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience [+50]
Your mind wanders to last weekend's game and you suddenly hear her saying,
well, what do you think I should do ??" [-100]
You have fallen asleep [-200]

You talk [-100]
You don't talk [-150]
You spend time with her [-200]
You don't spend time with her [-500]
You are seen to be enjoying yourself [GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!!]
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