When you can't live without bananas

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Thursday, May 15, 2003

Predators to Replace Nurses, Thermal Scanners at Changi

"In its effort to improve the detection of potential SARS spreaders, the Gahmen has replaced nurses and thermal scanners at Changi Airport with Predators, violent alien warriors that can detect body heat...."

Finally, something -halfway- decent for a change. I usually get really irritated by talkingcock.com's articles because they are so darn corny, lame, shallow, crass and ultimately - shitty. The basic concept is good, but the writing sucks, more often than not. And to think many lawyers, civil servants and doctors supposedly write for them. Maybe it's to cater to Singaporean's brand of toilet humour. Lucky Mr Brown has just come up with Singapore National Education 84!

"Our nurses and doctors are waging a war with Death itself! What can we do to show our support and concern? I know! We'll write them A National Song!" - Heh

"That even if you need a wheel chair to get around you do not qualify for a claim under Eldershield, so long as you can somehow lower yourself into the wheelchair. If you can somehow move one arm and bring food to your mouth you do not qualify. So long as one hand can clean your ass you are deemed not disabled. It does not matter if you need help to go to the toilet.

Only the truly Vegetable need apply." - Ooh, wicked. I love it.

"That DPM Lee was headhunted too.

"From the Straits Times on 04/10/2002

DPM head-hunted too

'I received an e-mail from a company called Migration Expert Australia. It asked me if I knew that Australia is currently looking for skilled and business migrants, and whether I was interested to become an Australian PR. It invited me to visit its website, and to try out a free virtual points test to see if I would qualify. If I was not interested, never mind, please help forward the e-mail to someone whom I think may be interested.' - Mr Lee, on the global contest to attract talent"

Hey, that looks like the same email my unemployed friend received in his inbox too! Small world, man. I also hear there is a global contest to attract investors in making good money by helping Nigerians get millions out of the country. I get these emails everyday so they must be true." - HAHA.


My 2 month old dry cough has morphed into a moist cough. Perhaps it will become a wet cough soon.

Meanwhile my parents still go on about how having a cough makes you more suscpetible to SARS. Bah.


The Associate would like to point out, and has been pestering me to do so for a while as he is too lazy to do so, that the Imperial Double Headed Eagle I'm using as my current blog head was only adopted by the Hapsburgs after the Holy Roman Empire was dissolved by Napoleon Bonaparte.
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