When you can't live without bananas

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Friday, March 29, 2002

POP post:

Restored Post

POP loh! Obedience School is done. Now I'm free till posting next Saturday. Hope I get to wear the coveted Blue (Service) Beret.

My former Platoon Commander is rather controlled by his mood. Unfortunately, when he's in a bad mood (and that is all too often), he's to be feared. My muscles hurted from Friday's torture till Tuesday.

Before our last bookout, we saw our OC walking back from the bathroom in his trademark towel and slippers. Platoon 3 got a picture with him, as did we.

The plastic bag they gave us to take our photos (of the Platoon and Company) home had "Viva 2000" and a 2000 Calender printed on them. Trust the cheapskate SAF.

We had a Stand By Helmet before our Last Bookout. Ridiculous. We were told to change the netting, but not all did.

My erstwhile classmate Jason Chen was the Delta Company Best Recruit! Hurrah. He's been upgraded to PES A and is probably bound for OCS :) His name will live on forever on Cookhouse 1's wall! And Tan Lisheng's the Taurus Company Best, and the only IPPT gold in his platoon. Congratulations to him too [NB: Amazing what you learn about people when you have other people telling you about the aforementioned people during their BMT].

In the end, besides the 35 OOCs who've been posted out already, only 3 people failed the course. They probably did something *really* egregious. So Ken won't have to recourse, good for him. 160/200's not a bad survival rate. Yucheng's platoon started with 46 people and ended with 28. Pillows aplenty at night!

Parade rehearsal sucks. I think I'd rather do Endurance Training runs and Weights/Circuit Trainings. At least the RSM was nice and didn't punish us. He even procured syrup water for us.

Apparently the reason the contractor took back all the washing machines was because everyone threw in their muddy clothes without a pre-wash, which clogged up the machines, and they didn't want to come across the sea to repair them.

We had a combined e-mart/canteen break. The School 2 canteen is better than the School 1 one. I had 2 Chicken Wings. They were very crispy and juicy. Normally Mat chicken wings are nicer than Chinese ones, but the Mat one I had at the other Canteen the other day before Guard Duty paled in comparison. I also had a Magnolia Maga (whatever) Supreme Cookies and Cream Ice Cream, as well as a packet of so-called "Juicy" Peach Pulp (it was dry). Our sergeant made Samson walk back to the Company Line with Camo Netting on his head. Hehe.

Apparently I bounce when walking too.

Aliff wears Puma Sports Shorts under his black PT shorts. And underwear under that too. Wonderful.

My mother observed that in BMT I'd taken more MCs than in 6 (and maybe even 12) years of school. :) I maintain I wasn't cheating though, you can study with a flu, but you can't charge hills.

They gave us some surveys to do. Of course, the SAF likes quantitative not qualitative feedback, so all the questions were multiple choice. I like doing surveys, especially MCQ ones which are easy to fill in. Maybe it's the illusion that my feedback matters when not only is it statistically insignificant, we were rushed and encouraged to shade random boxes to save time.

They asked us, in the survey, if the lessons elicited any interest in us. I put "not at all" for all but the National Education lessons, for which I put "a little" since our OC taught them in a most lively and interesting manner. Who on earth would have interest in M16S1 Technical Handling, or Hand Grenade Throwing?

We were also asked if our instructors used vulgar language on us. Haha. I gave most of the people listed there an "always" rating, my section commander a "sometimes" rating and our OC a "never" (because although he always uses vulgar language, it is never used *on* us). Yucheng says that his CSM never used vulgarities. Which makes him, along with my 2IC, one of the 2 instructors at BMTC who don't use vulgarities :)

We were asked if we agreed with the statement: "During NS, it is acceptable to lie low and do the acceptable minimum." Haha. They know the ground well. Another hilarious statement we were asked if we agreed to: "The SAF is an efficient and well run organisation." The survey was anonymous though - we were specifically instructed not to shade in our NRIC No. Looks like they do take the results somewhat seriously.

I think I've beat our Quartermaster's record of using 10 pieces of featherlite during BMT. Other people used it like there's no tomorrow, and then asked me for some since I had so much. The rewards of frugality. But I have bestowed to the next recipient of the rifle cleaning kit that I had possession of a copious amount of featherlite and at least half a bottle of oil. He should be quite happy :)

I got called up for the recce trooper interview. Ugh, I hope I don't get in. Time to downgrade! I think endless recourses would be better than 2 years in the field and/or getting maimed on a motorbike. If I go there, my long standing prediction that I'd come out of slavery dead, broken or crazy might just come true. Every mission is in Full Battle Order and they get a POW treatment course like the Commandos but apparently it's a "lite" version. Oh, and they get to wear Jungle Hats instead of Helmets. Yeh. Suspiciously, our platoon's IPPT pass was interviewed for the Rifleman post, but he managed to get himself rejected.

During the recce trooper interview, I saw that Jerry, Benjy and Minrui's friend (whose name I know not) had been selected too. Luckily, the interviewer told us that our posting was not yet confirmed. They showed us a promo video which was produced by the officer who came to interview us. Nice effort, though it was essentially a photo slideshow with many of the photos repeated.

I don't know why so many have asked recently about my forehead scar, especially my secondary school / JC friends, since I got it in 1996. Must be the loss of hair has made it more prominent and they've noticed it afresh.

The clerk came around the check our rifles' cleanliness. Hehe.

Chris made a super sandwich for breakfast - 4 slices of bread, with alternating kaya and peanut butter layers.

Being a PTI is a very slack job. You just wear a cool singlet and shout at people. During SOC you demonstrate once or twice and go back to shouting :)

We visited e-mart again the day after the canteen break, and a female sergeant walked by. Someone began leading the song:

They say that in the army,
The girls are very chio.
You ask for Cindy Crawford,
They give you Koh Cheng Mun. [NB: Yes that's the original. So now you know.]

So mean!

Mark Yong, who OOCed a few weeks after entering PTP, is now back and in School 2. Woo.

The newer intakes get to have their water parades from 7-up and Coke bottles instead of Mess Tins. Not only does this look better, and they don't have to hold the bottles at 90 degrees, as with mess mugs (I presume, since this is unfeasible for plastic bottles), Yucheng informs me that the Mess Mug is 600ml - he measured - as opposed to the bottles' 500ml. Good for them! No more water torture!

I've seen our CSM maybe 3 times since enlistment. Once on my first day in Gryphon, when he bet with Joshua whether he'd lose 40kg (he didn't), once when he came in to talk about sammyboy.com and the last during the last POP rehearsal day. The rest of the time he's been on medical or other leave. Ahem.

More incontrovertible evidence of Delta's slackness:
- Their GST fieldcamp was only half a day. They went there to see the MILES thing (some laser system to tell you when you've been shot in exercises) and then went back
- They've never eaten field rations. All their field camps, they've been provided with out rations
Maybe it has something to do with the warrant officers in Delta. "They've had their share of tekaning people" - Zhongyong

We were the third company to take the boats out after the parade. Previously it's been done in alphabetical order (as opposed to this year's reverse alphabetical order) so I didn't wait too long. Poor Jianwen though... Apparently it's quite fair actually - those who are the first ones in and wait the longest for the parade are the first ones out and wait the least after the parade.

Many of the Gryphon instructors were waiting suspiciously at Pasir Ris when we got off the bus.

I was talking with 2 non-Chinese the other day about why Malays are so united. We agreed they like to band together and stand up for each other. It's partially explained by their common religion, as we can see from the Muslim world supporting, or purporting to support, the Palestinian cause, but I think that's not the whole issue. They also agreed that the prohibition on apostasy was niggly and ridiculous. During the 24km route march, me and another Christian and a Muslim were discussing why apostasy is taken so seriously in Islam. Apparently your children path the way to Heaven for you, and if they convert, you're screwed.

Plenty of warrant officers and officers tagged along for the 24km route March. Maybe it's an occasion for them all to get together.

I was accused of being selfish for not wanting to sing the (stupid) songs on the last leg of the 24km route march. But then I didn't even have the breath the breathe, let alone sing.

When we reached the shower point, everyone started dancing and singing. We were told that our shower would be with water from a well at Selabin after our 24 km march. Later, I found how one well can shower 8 companies - a pump pumps water into a pipe which loops in an oval above the well, and you walk one round around the well. Bah, didn't even wash the sweat off.

As we marched into the parade square in Full Battle Order, they played the Imperial March. How appropriate, we are Stormtroopers, slaves and beholden to the Emperor. I knew it!

The crowd clapped for every action, even a simple cediya and senangdiri :)

During the worst part of the parade, the Guest of Honour's speech, 2 people in my company concussed, and Herman (the alternate Malay spelling of 'Hairman'), who was beside me was breathing heavily and swaying from side to side. Unfortunately, the fella didn't take the hint and droned on for some time, making no attempt to conclude even after the second had collapsed. And it wasn't even a good speech, it was recycled, dull, boring and filled with propaganda and big words. In fact I think it was essentially a rewording of the speech given at our enlistment. Some people in the audience laughed at the concussions, how mean! Our 2IC was the original announcer, but I think when the people concussed he went to check on them, which was why the voice echoing from the speakers suddenly became very Chinese-educated Singaporean.

During the re-entry part of the parade, Charlie stopped and Hentak Kaki-ed too early, screwing our position as well. Hawk apparently (and evidently) is bad at their drill, while we were commended by the RSM after a rehearsal for being one of the best even though we were obese.

I got to meet and shake the hand of the famed Commando, father of Saravanan, whom we'd heard so much about.

After the parade, people were throwing their instructors in the air. While talking to Jianwen, I observed as some Alpha people threw one instructor... and he fell onto the floor! Ouch. Lucky he could still stand after that.

Even for the parade, they'd given survey forms. My sister, seeing there was no space for "short answer" style comments, decided to scribbe half a page of comments on the reverse side of the paper, and refused to tick the boxes on the printed side.

And some misc notes,

Royston tricked me. He had told me he could book out only at 6pm on Saturdays and had to book in at 7pm on Sundays, or something like that. Actually he can book out everyday, just that he has to book in by 11:59pm. And he's still complaining. On Friday the computers in his camp were down, so he got to slack the whole day!

At the start, my section mates were saying that by the end of BMT, my English'd be as bad as theirs. That hasn't come to pass - every so often I'd still utter a sentence none of them could comprehend :)

Jiax is a storeman. A storeman who works in an air-conditioned storeroom. Lucky one!

The OOC rate for SISPEC is suspiciously higher than for OCS. Why ah, why ah.

In the cookhouse, I saw the Economist on a table, reverse side facing up, and I went to investigate. When my suspicions were confirmed, I told the guy, "Finally, someone else who reads this!"


Quotes:

"[On giving feedback] [If you] feedback to [the] sect. com, the thing will go down the drain. Flush down evidence. [Mimes crushing paper]"

"Please, don't call me up in the middle of the night and tell me you ban4 jio3 [urinate]. I will trace the telephone number and whack you up."

"[On mood swings and being nice to recruits] Lieutenant ******, it depends on his period"

"[On cancelling our IPPT retest during Block Leave] It's a fair thing, you help me, I help you. Actually you don't help me, fuck."

"Monday, OTOT [Own Time, Own Target] you go and report to your new unit... Sorry, there's a timing. You don't go there late, you get charged. Don't say I say..."

"[On life as an Ops Sergeant] I reach my office at 7:45... I [turn] on my computer, I play some games... I go for [a] tea break... I do some work... I go for lunch. I sleep until 2 o'clock. I on my computer, play some games... go for tea break... I go and take a shower, 5:45 I catch the bus, I go home... [Recruit: Shiok ah Sir] What shiok? Damage my mind, play too many games... I've completed a lot of games."

"[On keeping fit and/or active even though we're obese] Take care of yourself, so you can bang a lot of girls when you grow old... 3 or 4 at one time."

"Kerkiri bo seng. [Platoon turns to face the sea] Now all of you will die. Cepar ja-... I'm a bit high"

"[On his 'POP'] The CSM came in... 'Do you know who I am?' 'Yes Sir'... He told us some dirty jokes and went off."

"[On my possible recce trooper 2SIB posting] Go and recce people, 2 year fieldcamp. That's why he's very sad."

"[On having night and colour blindness, disqualifying you for the recce trooper post] You better own up now, otherwise happy happy, I take you back then find out you are gay. Jialat. (???)"

"[On the POW treatment course] The POW one, the most is 15 minutes... Nothing one... Put you in [an[ isolation cell, ask you to turn here [and] turn there. There will be no physical contact."

"Infantry, charge here charge there, one idiot behind screaming at you... Sit there cannot, lie there cannot. All the time, one idiot down there screaming at you."

"[On being a recce trooper] It will not be everyday in the field, eat grass one. It won't happen."

"[On being a recce trooper] If you fail the bike course, I give you [a] bike, you push there ah?"

"[On the cookhouse food survey] The minimum you will put for the survey is 'satisfactory', understand?"
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