Quotes - 14th August 2010

"The misery of being exploited by capitalists is nothing compared to the misery of not being exploited at all." - Joan Robinson

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[Me: She wants a guy smarter than her] I'm not that smart [Me: You don't have to be smart. Just smarter than her]

When someone pops the cock, you should smell the cock. [Someone: Cork. You girls want to smell the CORK?]

[On getting whipped cream and chocolate sauce as a present] Sex toy. What did I say about it. (toys, them)

She's a seductress... [Me: Did you bang her?] I'm not that kind of guy [Someone: Got Second Base?] No. Wait...

I knew it from my girlfriend. My fiancée. My wife. (know about it)

I don't gossip one. I only factually report stuff.

I just want a simple life... I want to live in Geneva [Someone: The $20,000 camera set]... [Someone else: Why don't you use a point-and-shoot?] It doesn't do what I need

Women like having periods. It makes them feel good... It lets them know they're not pregnant

Do you want to leave a tip? [Someone else on the waiter behind someone: Do you want to ask that question later?]

I am seriously considering doing a Masters so I don't have to say I'm from SMU

Heels are like foot-binding for the 21st century

I saw a plastic surgery ad in Korea... 'Small face, Pretty breasts'... [Someone: Are you sure they didn't mean 'Pretty face, Small breasts'?]

T-shirts are body hugging [Me: Girl-cut T-shirts are body hugging]

[On boyfriend shirts] What if you have a really fat boyfriend?

[On Jakarta] I haven't been there yet. Everyone keeps telling me not to go.

The dramas that we import from Australia are all sleazy. That is my conclusion from one week of watching TV at home.

There are different types of philosophy. [In] KI they argue about arguing for the point of arguing.

They were really good guard chickens, you know.

I'm getting a game for my friend [Me: Who is your friend?] It's a guy, so it doesn't work

[Me: You should download my CAP Calculator] It's well-used

This guy, no offence, with a ponytail. Pasty skin, with a weird accent... And he's not effeminate [Me: You rather he were effeminate?] Cos then I can say he's gay [Me: Gays get a free pass huh]

[On the SDU magazine] It's always ugly women. They need some busy hussies on the cover.

[On the Zoroastrian cemetery] They should just renovate it a bit and rent it out to lovers [Me: You want to make out in a cemetery?]

[On Bukit Timah Road] The Bridge of Love... I got together with my first girlfriend there... I have gotten more mature, less romantic [since then]

[Someone: I want to be rich] [Me: She has an option not open to us] ... that is the nuclear option, only when you have nothing else [Me: I'm not talking about prostitution, you know]

[On cooking Indomee] You have to let me cook it. I figured out the timing. 3 minutes 45 seconds. No more, no less... You throw away the water, you keep a little bit and put it back

I was wearing my 6 inch heels... [Me: I think 6 inches is the average length of the human penis] [Someone: I thought it eas 10]

[To me] To a lot of people, he is like your kind... Too smart

English is my second language... Anything longer than 2 syllables in Bahasa is difficult for me. [Me: Isn't Bahasa your native language?] I have no native language.

Gays are happy... I've never met a happy lesbian in my life, who didn't have a point to make

What I told my mother. You don't have to understand them. They don't even understand themselves... Hormones go here, they do this. Hormone go there, they do that.

I'm a jerk, but I'm not an ass... I'm an asshole, not a bastard

My Facebook status on 'Pregnancy cures menstrual cramps' was surprisingly popular... My next one: 'Decapitation cures headaches'

[On the Island of doom] During my time Pegasus was the zhabor company. So the P stood for something else also.

[Me: You don't always get what you deserve...] I hope I don't get what I deserve. I'll be in Somalia.

I only talk about 3 things. Women, sex and politics. And food... I don't even talk about cars

The moment you hesitate, you're lost. The Game is not for pussies... [On me] He's being a pussy for refusing to play the Game

They have their hands all over me... They're all skanks. Every one of them is a skank. Everyone who has grown up in a western country... American girls are the skankiest.

A tailored suit and a tailored shirt make a man.

[On me in Where the Hell is Matt] I thought it was a woman

[On job hazards] My dreams, I see numbers. The Excel [spreadsheet] scrolling

Goa is a vice town. You can get anything there.

Fight FIBUA in Changi Hospital... The skeleton army [will] come out

Ginseng. Ren2 Shen1. Bu3 Quan2 Shen. Red wine... Red blood cells [Me: Then what about white wine?] White blood cells

In Secondary School, those Sec 4 n, Sec 4 e girls, once it's their birthdays, okay. [Someone: I need to pay your school a visit]

[On being the only straight guys in a hotel suite] When you enter a pub as a girl, people check you out from head to toe. First time in my life, I got checked out from head to toe... 'They are straight. Please leave them alone'. They were disappointed

Egg tart got cow inside meh? [Someone: Got egg mah]

How was Snow White rescued, from the Seven Dwarves? [Someone: You from which kindergarten ah]

Singaporean men have no competitive edge [Someone: So you prefer ah tiongs and ah nehs?]