When you can't live without bananas

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Friday, November 18, 2005

I really really didn't want to post any more about this topic; flame me for it if you want - I would love to come out to play with everyone, but I still have unfinished affairs with the twin IS and LM curves, Robinson Crusoe and his coconuts, Eliade and his drug-induced eerie green glow, Buss and his numerous examples of inter-gender interaction and last but not least, Time fixed-effects models, but someone took a great deal of time to write a thoughtful and heartfelt 3,807 word open letter to her which I felt touched on the crux of the issue (including some aspects ignored or merely alluded to by most). The fact that I'm publishing a letter in which religion figures prominently, despite my known and evident distaste of it, should tell you something.

Besides which, the New Paper followup was really sucky.

(I must add, though, that if anyone else feels to urge to write another thoughtful, heartfelt letter to her, PLEASE do not send it to me. Thank you!)

And in yet another vainglorious attempt to forestall silly comments which address points already made/answered in the body of the post: my posting of this open letter does not constitute an endorsement of all the points of view put forward in it.

With that, I wish everyone happy hunting (of me, of course - someone else has had more than her fair share of it):

Let's be *special* together. *Spicy games* are always fun.


Dear Dawn,

I understand that you are going through an extremely rough period right now and I feel very sorry for you. To speak the truth, I do pray for your spirits to be lifted as my heart goes out to you. I know you must be feeling very upset right now. However, I can't help but feel that you do somehow deserve your situation right now, and should bear the responsibility of the outcome today. This is because you have committed 5 sins that most of us find it extremely hard to forgive, even for a nice christian lady like me.


                1) You threw away the identity God and your parents have given you.

Everyone is special and unique in their own ways. The set of features you are born with is God's gift to you (I expect you know this since you are such a devoted Christian). However, we have to admit that plastic surgery has become a part of the 21st century with the advancement in science and technology. There is no fault in undergoing plastic surgery, in fact, plastic surgery has done a lot of good to people who are born with defects (cleft lip) or who met with unfortunate accidents (caught in a fire). It has also served its purpose of enhancing one's appearance so as to boost one's confidence in life. However, what you did was far more than that. In fact, it is too much to be acceptable. Why do I say so?

What you did was not a simple double eye lid surgery nor a minor nose job. You changed your entire face, and what we absolutely cannot accept - your heritage, as well. Many korean stars have had surgery done but why do we still love and support them? But remember Dawn, you are different. What you did was more than just plastic surgery. Let me raise two analogies. Look at Michael Jackson. Yes, he did plastic surgery. And he turned from a black man, to a white man. He changed his race. Look at Harisu. Yes, she did plastic surgery. And she turned from a man, to a woman. She changed her gender. This is the extent of your surgery. Look at Dawn Yeo. Yes, she did plastic surgery. And she turned from a pure chinese girl, to a whole new different Dutch - Thai girl. To a girl with an entire different face and ethnicity, that her friends from the past couldn't even recognise the least bit!

Dawn, you abandoned your heritage and your ethnicity. This, we cannot accept. You may be disatisfied with the looks the "Big Guy up in the heavens" has blessed you with. But how can you turn away the ethnicity and identity God has given you? You speak like a devoted Christian woman, but you actually did such a hurtful thing to betray your beliefs. This we cannot forgive. You not only changed your face, you changed your roots. The difference here is enhancing one's feature and changing one's identity. You did the latter.

At the very least, Michael Jackson and Harisu are at peace with their decision transform God's gift and are able to come to terms with it by not hiding it. They are able to face the world bravely and are responsible for their decision. Another example would be our very own local celebrity, Quan Yifeng. People were discussing about her having had a nose bridge surgery recently (small surgery compared to yours). But did she deny it? No. Go buy a copy of this week's 8 days and you would know. She not only admitted to it but even told everyone that she had lots of botox done and even revealed that she had it done in taiwan and have since reversed the surgery. She even allowed the press to take photos of her without make up on. And the result of it? She gained, not negative responses (like you did), but instead, people applauded her for her honesty and candidness. She did not treat it as a disgraceful act and admitted it graciously. Naturally, people wouldn't see it as a disgraceful act too. Instead, they admire her for her honesty.

But you? Not only are you too cowardly to face up to it, you accused people of defaming you, denied it and refused to be responsible for your decision. Why do you not dare to admit it? Is it because, deep down inside, you know that it was wrong of you to do so? If you see no wrong in what you did, why not have the courage to come out and proclaim, "Yes, I, Dawn Yeo has had plastic surgery done."

                2) You exploited the sympathy of the public

You wrote such a admirable and touching entry on how people have accused you of being a rich spoilt brat. You said you came from a "SINGLE INCOME FAMILY". But we came to realise from the Newpaper that Lo and Behold, that's only because your father "RETIRED", not RETRENCHED. There's a huge difference between the two you realised? Being able to retire is a cause for joy because one can finally enjoy the later part of his life after working so hard. However, being retrenched is not a choice and leads to one's financial problems. Do you know the troubles and problems that comes with being retrenched? Do you know how many people out there are being retrenched and have trouble even making ends meet? And there you are, blessed with such a wealthy family and your father having the priviledge to RETIRE because even without his source of income, your family have enough money to spend for the rest of your lives. Do you know that your family is so rich that even without you father working, your family is able to live so comfortably? Do you know how blessed you are? Yet, you make yourself sound so pitiful by calling your family a SINGLE INCOME FAMILY. yes, technically speaking, you are not wrong. Your family is indeed a single income one. And like you said, and quoted from you yourself. It's all about WORD PLAY. You are the master of the art of WORD PLAY. You twisted the words such that a priviledge becomes such a cause for sympathy.

You said, once again, quoted from you yourself, "I don't even live in a detached house." Once again, your outright lie is exposed in the Newpaper. Not only do you live in a DETACHED HOUSE, you live in a BUKIT TIMAH SEMI DETACHED HOUSE. tell me, how is that a symbol of being just a upper MIDDLE-CLASS? I admit to feeling a bout of anger towards you right now simply because, you do not know how to appreciate the gifts God has bestowed upon you. If living in a BUKIT TIMAH SEMI DETACHED HOUSE is considered middle-class, are you calling all those people who live in HDBs, the LOWER CLASS? then what about those who are unable to even pay their monthly rent for a 3-room flat? what do you call this people? How could you not see and treasure the wealth God has blessed you with? Dawn, I am extremely disappointed with your inability to appreciate, treasure, or even recognise the blessings you have received. Must you experience poverty before you realise that the BUKIT TIMAH DETACHED HOUSE you live so comfortably in, is something that not half the population can afford? how can you call it MIDDLE-CLASS? I fail to forgive you for your unappreciation and decadence towards God's gifts.

Next, you portrayed yourself as such a fillial daughter who cares for the purse strings of your parents so much. At that point of time, when I read that you said, "Do you know how EXPENSIVE it is to study abroad? I feel guilty just even thinking about the sums." and "I hate asking for more money from my parents." I felt such strong admiration for you. But having known that you did such extensive surgery, I can't help feeling that you are such a hypocrite. Do you know how much rhinoplasty cost? At the very least $10,000 (nose tip and bridge). Double eyelid surgery, at the very least $6000. All the other surgeries you did to enlarge your eyes, change your face shape, even your body assets, lips, all those would have amounted well over $50,000. Dawn, didn't you feel "guilty" when your parents paid that hefty sum for you? Did you really "hated" yourself when you ask for those money from your parents? If you really hate to spend your parents money so much, why let them spend such a huge amount of money to change the face and body they have given to you? Is that what the fillial daughter you have portrayed yourself to be, supposed to do? I don't think so.

                3) You lied.

Once again, it is all about word play. Yes, to be fair to you, you never once said outright, "NO I DID NOT HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY DONE." But dawn, remember you posted about those grievances that you suffered when people "ACCUSED" you of going surgery? using the word 'accused', and making yourself sound so wronged is as good as saying that it is untrue. when the reporter questioned you about people talking about you doing plastic surgery, you didn't deny it because you knew that you did. so you did the next best thing. in your very own words, you said that "and yea true...people also accuse me of having surgery...." (quoted from your blog) and said, "what can i do about it?", indirectly but effectively meaning that those are just untrue gossips and you are the wronged victim being 'accused'. Please Dawn, stop making yourself sound victimised because not once were you wronged at all. Everything that was said about you were facts and you wronged others for magligning you.

I guess you probably remember typing this in defense of someone pointing out that she saw the "cut lines" and "surgery scars" above your eyes. Your response was "another thing, sorry to burst your bubble but lemme be helpful n share a makeup secret: u can use brown eyeshadow to accentuate the crease of your eyelid making it look deeper. when u look down, it’ll obviously look like there’s a slight line. take a look at the angelina jolie pic i had, don’t her eyes look even more “cut”? haha cmon its just simple makeup sheesh!" this can be seen here - http://unionpost.org/?p=47. After which, the poor girl who was telling the truth all the while was scolded viciously by your supporters who believed your words and told her off for wrongly accusing you. Tell me, have you ever felt guilty when you see someone being scolded for magligning you when all she did was told the truth, while on the other hand, you LIED? can you touch your heart and tell me that calling those surgery scars a "makeup secret" does not count as DENYING that you had plastic surgery? you talk about WORD PLAY indeed, you know it so well because you have practised it so often.

                4) You brought it upon yourself.

Dawn, you realised that 3 years after you had your surgery, not one of your friends or acquaintances came out to talk about it or expose you with words and pictures? Why is it happening now? that's because you thrust yourself into the limelight and knowing that you got it with underhand means (using money in exchange for fame), their integrity spured them to reveal the truth. If you argue that having done plastic surgery is your private life and no one should have any right in breaking into your privacy, then you should have jolly well kept your life PRIVATE! but no, you chose to make yourself a public figure. You gave the public the right to scrutinise your life, and your past. This was a choice that you chose to take, and now that it has brought upon the consequences, you only have yourself to blame.

Let me give you a real life example. I used to have a classmate who was extremely beautiful. She was so pretty that most people in school would notice her. However, she kept a low profile and never did anything to attract attention. She only hung out with her close friends and mixed with her classmates. She never tried seeking popularity and instead, avoided it. She was nominated as Prom Queen but she turned it down. She was approached by Carrie Models and Phantom Agency but she declined. She was asked to participate in Miss Singapore Universe but she refused. She never wanted to be under the limelight. Later, we realised that she has not always been pretty. Yes, you are right. She had plastic surgery done, thus, the beauty. But she only did minor surgeries, if i'm not wrong just a low double eyelid and a slight nose bridge enhancement. But when the secret was out, did anybody care? No. When people heard, they took a few seconds to remember who she was and only said "oh, is it?" in response and never talked much about it. Why? Because she was always a low profile, private figure. People hardly know about her so what was there to talk about?
By attracting so much attention to yourself, Dawn, you made the mistake of allowing people to expose you. As a public figure, you have to answer to the public. Let me cite an example. Recently, Jay Chou had to apologise to the public for sticking his middle finger at the papparazi. He might not have been in the wrong, but why did he have to apologise? He had to apologise to the public because as a public figure, he set the wrong example to the public, he was ANSWERABLE to the public. He wasn't apologising to the papparazi, but to members of the public. That's the responsibility of being an artiste, Dawn. You have to learn to accept that.

A piece of advice to you. If you wish for this to tide over, your best choice is to remove yourself from the limelight. If you stop attracting the attention of the public and live a private life, no one would have the access into your deepest secrets. People will eventually stop talking about you. However, if you continue on with this or venture further, there will only be more people discussing about your darkest secrets. It might not even be confined into just Singapore anymore. It will spread to Taiwan, Hong Kong, China, whatever country you go to. When you become a public figure in those countries, you may not only see your 'before' and 'after' pictures in singapore, those unglamorous pictures might even make its way onto the covers of Taiwan's entertainment tabloid or Hong Kong papparazi news.

Even minor surgeries are being made as headlines by the unfeeling papparazi in those countries, what more major extensive surgery like yours? you are considered sheltered in Singapore. At least you haven't appeared on the newspapers and magazines yet. If you do not want a day like that to happen, don't give the reporters the need to bother about your secrets. How? Don't make yourself a concern of theirs. Be a private figure, living a private life with loved ones who can accept you. The papparazi in Taiwan, Hong Kong and China would be going "Dawn who?" when people reveal your secret to them. Because you would just be a normal Singaporean and they wouldn't care less about whether you had surgery done. This is your only way to protect yourself. If you still choose to be a public figure, in Singapore and in other countries, then you choose to subject yourself to people knowing your secrets on your own accord.

                5) You cheated the feelings of your supporters, Tinsel Management, admirers and fans.

All those people who looked up to you, admired you, supported you, signed you up and gave you opportunities for your looks. You cheated them. Tinsel Management looked at your photos, felt you were beyond beautiful, decided to groom you. You had no special talents nor even the outgoing personality that an artiste should have. They felt that you are a "INTROVERT", "ORDINARY" and needed alot of "HONING AND POLISHING". meaning, it wasn't your personality, character or talents that attracted them, it was your "EXTRAORDINARY" face. Is it fair to them? You bought the "EXTRAORDINARY" face with money. By signing you up, Tinsel Management is sending out a message that says, "If you want to be a star, BUY your dreams with money. Go and sell your body or hope that you have rich parents, so that you would have money to BUY yourself a beautiful face. Better still, make yourself look like a DUTCH and THAI. It doesn't matter if you can't sing, act, dance or have any talents. It doesn't even matter if you are shy and have no personality. As long as you have money, go and change the face God and your parents have given you. Then, we would make your dreams come true and groom you into a star!"

Tinsel Management, I do not think it is a morally correct message to be sending out to the young minds out there. As an established and reputable agency, this is not a stand that you should take. Please reconsider your decision.

And Dawn, not only did you cheat Tinsel Management, you cheated those people who supported you so strongly. Do you know I have a 15- year old cousin. She is one of the reason I decided to write this letter to you. She was once a avid supporter of yours. She idolised you. She stood up for you. She defended you. When people accused you of having done plastic surgery, she chose to believe you. She even posted defending messages such as "Do not accuse Dawn. You are all just jealous. She looks so gorgeous because she is mixed Dutch and Thai like she said! Stop magligning her!" I believe I can still find such messages left by her and your other supporters on the internet. How do you feel about deceiving those people who supported you and believed in you? How do you feel about making them go all the way defending you and now, people are telling them to go EAT THEIR WORDS. Do you know that my cousin defended you when her friends insisted that you definitely had surgery done and now that the secret is out, they are all MOCKING her and LAUGHING at her for being so gullible and STUPID? she is the center of jokes among her friends now and is teased constantly about it. But what hurts her the most is not having to eat her words, but it's because she feels cheated by you. She trusted you, she supported you, she defended you, she stood up for you, she believed you. But now? she is proven to be wrong and yet you do not even have the courage to admit your mistake and to apologise to those who supported you. You know what the 15 year old girl said that struck a chord in me? She said, "I'm not angry with Dawn, I'm just disappointed with her..."

                Dawn, this issue is no longer about yourself. You have pulled others down into the water along with you. Many people have been implicated and they may be hurt too. This people are friends of yours and those you care about. People like your best friends, Grace and Candice. Because of you, their faces are being analysed and scrutinised too. Their secrets may be revealed and publicised too. All because of you. You implicated them and they may be hurt because of you. If you want to protect the secrets of your friends, if you truly care about them, please do something about it. Admit your mistake, apologise for it, pull yourself out from the public eye. This is the least you can do for them. And your poor sister, she does not even have a choice of doing even the least bit of enhancement to her features in future because everyone will be watching her transformation from now on. People will be talking about your dear mother having possibly done surgery too since she willingly and generously allowed you to do it. And even your boyfriend. They will laugh and mock him for having a man-made, manufactured, carefully carved-out girlfriend.

                Now, when people hear the name DAWN YEO, they will no longer see the image of that beautiful, big-eyed, slim-faced, sharp nose, lovely Dawn. The image that comes into everyone's mind is those 'Before' pictures that is circulating around. And trust me, they aren't very flattering pictures, not a very pretty image in our mind at all. Please look into your conscience, Dawn. Imagine if you are a man, one day, your wife comes clean with you and tells you, "Dear, I was actually a male before I met you. Please forgive me for not telling you." Imagine how the man would feel. Cheated, most definitely. That's what you did to us. I don't know if your boyfriend knows about your surgery and how you looked before. If he didn't know about it before this, I think you have much apologising to do to him because his feelings are those that you exploited most.

                I may be angry at you for the above 5 wrongs that you did, but a part of me feels sorry for you too and I sincerely hope you would change for the better. A first step would be to admit what you previously denied, then apologise, then live a private life. Hopefully, the public would grant you your wish for privacy then, if you show that you have shown remorse and treasure the many gifts you are blessed with. Respect your own privacy (stop thrusting yourself under the public eye), and people would respect your privacy too.

                And one last thing that I am extremely displeased with you about. Please do not say this: "If people want to continue to crucify me go ahead and crucify me." (quoted from your blog). If you insist on saying that you are being 'CRUCIFIED', just remember, Jesus was crucified because he did great things, you are 'crucified' because you did wrong things.

                Please stop accusing your 'fellow humans' of being 'frightful' and making yourself sound so victimised, because the above 5 sins that you did fully shows that you are the one who has wronged. Repent and seek for forgiveness is what you should do. I will pray for you. Hopefully, this will tide over soon. May God bless you.


                                                                                Love,

                                                                                a fellow human.


[Ed: In case it wasn't clear enough, this letter was not written by me.]
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