"Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?" - Clarence Darrow

Random Playlist Song: Bob Ricci - Wonderbra (Oasis Parody)

Today was gonna be the day I was gonna tell you we were through,
Until I came to your house and I noticed something new with you.
I couldnt believe my eyes I kept on thinking to myself,
Theres something wrong.

Coz usually your breasts are always saggin,
They hang so low that on the floor they're draggin,
But today I've gotta say they seemed to be in place,
But I don't know how.

I thought maybe,
You think I could be going crazy,
But then I saw,
Saw your Wonderbra.

I'm not embarrassed anymore when I'm walking down the street with you.
And now every girl in town says they're gonna go and buy one too.
I don't believe that any girl should have to be without - Wonderbra.

My mum's got one and now she's in her glory,
Well Dad's got one but that's another story.
There are just so many girls who are jealous of the too,
And they all say wow!

You know it's crazy,
She's usually at home makin gravy,
But that's my Ma,
In a Wonderbra.

I said it's crazy, (I said it's crazy,)
She's usually makin gravy, (makin gravy,)
But thats my Ma, (that's my Ma,)
In a Wonderbra.

***

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose!

***

"It might be a suicide attempt. Who knows? If I were a foreign student in Singapore, I would commit suicide too. Why the hell do I choose Singapore as my exchange programme and not somewhere else? *falls from third floor and dies*"

--- On the Canadian foreign student who fell from the third story of Prince George's Park Residences in NUS


Xephyris: I have this theory about modern music
you know how all of it is compressed to be really loud?
I've found that make if you don't make many pop songs really loud, they lack "body"

Me: abuden
that's why they crank up the bass also

***

ivy_leaguers: bad = good

People rant about the cons of Ivy Leagues, and other US universities:

"i'm a junior at harvard and i truly hate the school. i'm not just saying it because i go here, so i can. i really mean it.

first, let me preface by letting you know that it recently leaked that harvard is 5th-to-last in a boston globe survey of 31 "elite institutions" on student satisfaction. last year -- on the day of the harvard/yale game, no less, when school spirit should have peaked -- our campus magazine ran a cover story about the happiness of yale students compared to the discontent of harvard students. maybe i'm one of the few who'll openly admit it, but i'm not the only one who believes "harvard sucks."

by far the worst aspect is the student body. lots of kids will gush about how the people at harvard are the "best" part about their college experience. truth is, harvard students are extraordinarily dull, boring, and bland for all their accomplishments. the most apt term is probably "medium." you've never seen such a congregation of smug, self-satisfied, fake, medium people in your life. apparently, achievement is not an indication of personality. i'm almost always politely fake-laughing or bored out of my mind when talking to a classmate. on top of that, they're generally not even that kind or nice. it probably comes with the territory of thinking you're hot shit. harvard students reading this may self-righteously protest this description, but... that might be because they fit neatly under it...

you can't minor in anything here. actually, you can't double major either, without committing yourself to writing a senior thesis that combines both concentrations.

we have a core curriculum. it's shit. it offers some good classes, but mostly, they're huge courses that are either wildly broad or narrow and useless. they're also generally inferior to department courses. in short, the core effectively eats up 7 electives. if the goal is "breadth", i don't understand why we can't just have distribution requirements that we can fulfill with department courses.

as if the core did not already restrict your academic freedom, we also have to take Expos (mandatory writing class freshman year; i actually enjoyed my expos), and there's a foreign language requirement if you don't pass out of it with APs or SAT IIs. it's stupid, because it only requires 1 year of a foreign language, so often people will just take an elementary year-long course, surrendering 2 electives, and then never touch the language again.

advising here sucks. everyone knows it. people talk endlessly of fixing it. nothing ever gets done about it.

we have zero school spirit. everyone knows this too, and accepts it. we're too awesome for school spirit. what little spirit we have, we derive from dissing yale, whose students, as it turns out, are HAPPIER than ours. that's pretty sad, harvard." (Emphasis mine)

***

Archives of The Rafflesian

8 Jan 1887:

A little ditty ....

"Here shall Rafflesians prove their utmost skill
And here display the true force of their will
Here shall they join to show all that their school
Shall glorious in the Straits for ever rule."


There was a competition, with a prize of $1, won by the one whose answers most closely reflected the collective answers.

Competition Number 2: 5 February 1887, answers in 5th March 1887

1. Greatest nation - British - 54 votes
2. Most civilized nation - British, 30 votes
5. Laziest nation - Turks, 25 votes
6. Most barbarous nation - Turks, 25 votes

It does not say what the total number of votes was.


March 1888:

'There has been no circumstance of late which deserves our attention more than the secession from this school of a large number of boys belonging nearly to every class. The manner in which they have left us for the Anglo-Chinese and other schools reminds us not so much of the importance of these schools as of the boyish eagerness to see a theatrical performance or anything that may be regarded as a novelty. We are very sorry that they have fallen into the youthful trap which their rashness has placed before them. On the other hand we are extremely grateful that we have lost only the refuse or that portion of the School which we can well afford to spare.'

The same issue reports on the football match against St Joseph's Institution: 'Very few of the Josephites understood the game.'

Moral of the story: The more things change, the more things stay the same.

***

No Concept of Liberty

"Every honest person with a modicum of medical knowledge would be able to point out that the health risks of cannabis use are not significant. Yes, it is true that cannabis causes mental health problems if heavily used. But cigarettes cause lung cancer and heart disease, and alcohol causes liver cirrhosis when heavily used. What is the fucking difference between the good (and rich) people at Salem or Marlboro or Absolut or Chivas Regal and this poor man who supplies pot?...

The reason our reptilian legal system is so fucked up is because our judges and legislators think that human lives are pawns in their little real-life game of SimCity. Some are even so clever as to claim utilitarian justification for this shit. Well, if so they have adopted the most crude and indefensible form of utilitarianism conceivable, one that no thinking, humane person could ever accept."

***

Someone: http://www.acjc.edu.sg/
your ultimate proof God doesn't exist - ex rugby capt [Ed: A "Lee Wei Kong"] hit by taxi on his way to church. paralysed now.

Me: Ah, my child, there you misunderstand the goodness of God

This incident shows us that we are nothing compared to his greatness. It also shows us his infinite mercy - the rugby captain could have been killed, yet God in his wisdom and mercy chose to spare him from death.

The ex rugby captain will hereafter be more devout and will dedicate his life to God, for his greater glory.

Someone: hahaha
to that i say fuck off

Me: to that I say: your god is a monster

[Addendum:

A little bird says: "hey you won't believe what my brother told me about the ACJC rugby captain thingy...
he's there right now, he should know...
the rugby captain is not a believer...
in fact he went to the church to meet his GF...

Original Someone: THAT IS NOT THE WAY THE SCHOOL SITE PUT IT!
misleading information!
sue them!

For the record, the school website says: "The next few weeks were heartbreaking for his family, friends, teachers, other ACS parents and church. After three and a half months, Wei Kong’s progress is a testimony to his will to survive, his parents’ love, his friends’ support and God’s grace." (Emphasis mine)

However, Barker Road Methodist Church lists "Lee Wei Kong" as a church member, so.

Corroboration from blog readers regarding this matter is solicited.]

***

Feedback on How Girls Waste Time:

"one of the BEST expose on the feminine gender. EVER. At least on a non sensical blog (not withstanding that I still enjoyed reading it.) Its like a trashy novel that turns out to be a page turner. Ode to the researchers of this page. Haha. And a bigger ode to all the silly oofs who came up pages of rebuttals (50 odd points of rebuttal per comment??), maybe they out to be going to beauty paegents and cooing "World Peace" for every question asked (ref: you know what movie). Good on you, all those who came up with the page. A good analysis of the more vixenated of the two sexes.
I don't however profess to be a homophobic male sexist. Just someone who likes a pinch of salt. Haha.
Just the thought of that RS girl rebuttal makes me laugh.
Have fun you all. And as Bob Dylan would say "Don't think twice, its alright""

***

Draw a pig personality test - "[Draw] a pig and find out what your drawing of a pig says about you and your personality"
Wth?! Haram, haram! Meanwhile you can buy Puffed Pig Snouts online. Huh?

What's with Malays and Cats? The (Un)truth about cats and dogs: Animals as bodies of racialised significations on Singapore TV - "The dog, compared to the cat, is considered to be a more intelligent animal. It can be taught to perform tricks, to obey instructions, to respond to its master’s voice and presence. It is considered loyal, where the cat is temperamental. The dog’s stable affiliations are contrasted against the cat’s mercenary unpredictability. When one proposes significations such as these, the cat as effigy becomes disabling: we are reminded of certain stereotypes with very real ramifications. The marginality of the Malay community in Singapore is often described as due to the disability to conform to the demands of a Confucianist state. Dogs would make the most perfect Confucianist citizens because of their instinctive tendency to imprint on another party the status of a pack leader, to whom the dog offers unquestioning obedience. On the other hand, cats, by nature solitary and independent, represent the feral elements of society which require rehabilitation and institutional correction."
It's not surprising that this close reading of "Aksi Mat Yoyo" comes from a poet.

What a way to go - "Super-volcano, robotic rebellion or terrorism? Kate Ravilious asks 10 scientists to name the biggest danger to Earth and assesses the chances of it happening... Earth swallowed by a black hole: At the time this was the largest particle accelerator to have been built, making gold ions crash head on with immense force. The risk was that this might form a stage that was sufficiently dense to be like a black hole, gathering matter from the outside. Would the Brookhaven labs (and perhaps the entire Earth) end up being swallowed by a black hole created by the new accelerator?"
I think they ran out of ideas. Or maybe this is a joke.

Dr Bob's Skeptical Quiz - "Q: These are OMON troops (Russian Black Berets - k counter-terrorist troops of the MVD). Why should you not look at them in a mirror? A: If you looked at them in a mirror and they had their back to you, you'd see the word HOMO (OMON backwards in Cyrillic letters) written on the back of their uniform. Of course seeing this would make you laugh and point, which would lead to you getting smacked around by an angry Russian soldier."

Asian Prince did use to have a fanlisting, but the site's now down... Fortunately one can get an idea of what it looked like in its glory days thanks to the Internet Archive Wayback Machine; it seems he only had 4 fans in his fanlisting. Ah well, genius is rarely appreciated in its time. Anyhow I've tracked the creator back to his livejournal. Perhaps something will come of this!

Mullet Marathon - "In 2002, a mullet commando unit was sent to a hair stylist for a crime they didn't commit. These men prompty escaped from a maximum security salon to the Orlando underground. Today, still wanted by the fashion police, they survive as runners of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can catch them, maybe you can run with the Mullet Marathon."

A race to the wire as old hand at Morse code beats txt msgrs - "Dotty and old-fashioned means of communication can still be the best. Morse code has seen off the challenge of the text message in a contest pitting the best in 19th-century technology against its 21st-century successor."

How gibberish put scientists to shame - "Pages of computer-generated gibberish, containing such gems as “contrarily, the lookaside buffer might not be the panacea”, have been accepted as an academic paper at a scientific conference in the United States in a victory for hoaxers. Convinced that many scientific conferences would accept almost any research for the right fee, three students at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology celebrated yesterday the submission of their gobbledegook masterpiece, Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of Access Points and Redundancy."
So the Sciences aren't immune either. This is one up on the Alan Sokal affair.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Critters (Save Toby) - "Despite their resemblance to plush toys, rabbits do not like to be held, petted, or carted about, which means those who think they're taking on animal companions they can hug and squeeze to their hearts' content discover only after the fact that the sort of critter they thought they were bringing into their homes isn't at all what they ended up with. Consequently, any number of cute, fluffy pet bunnies are unceremoniously turned loose outdoors (where they live, on average, for three days), killed by their owners, or are handed over to animal shelters and rescue groups."
Aww.

President's Segway tumble seems a tiny bit suspicious - "President Bush meant to fall off his Segway. Oh, I'm sure of it. What we've got here is a clever conspiracy — a pre-emptive strike to save the oil industry from a technology that could sap its power."
Conspiracy theories are so fun.