When you can't live without bananas

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Saturday, March 05, 2005

"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it." - Joan Rivers

Random Playlist Song: Albinoni - Oboe Concerti Op 9 - #3 In F Maj - Allegro (The Academy of Ancient Music)

***

Someone: dude, your blogs are too damn long

Me: ah well. so how

Someone: how similan
write LESS
duh

important things are usually simple
if you have alot to say about something, chances are most of it is hogwash
occam's electric shaver

***

Christie was playing the Spirited Away theme and once again it struck me that it was the perfect music to eat shrooms to and start seeing funny things. I'll bet my hat that Howl's Moving Castle will be exactly the same sort of nonsense:

"Howl's Moving Castle follows the story of young Sophie Hatter, a bookworm, the eldest of three daughters, a girl doomed to an uninteresting life as a hat maker. Sophie resigns herself to her boring fate, but fate has other plans for her. Cursed by the Witch of the Waste with the body of a 90-year-old woman, she finds her way to the moving castle inhabited by the wizard Howl, said by all to eat the souls of young girls.

Howl has been cursed by the Witch as well, and is seeking the love of young girl to help him break the curse."

Now, don't that sound familiar?


Jiekai was saying that after ORD he wanted to grow a mullet. Then I took out my Asian Prince card, and showed him what a mullet looked like (at least on Asian Prince). I think he now has second thoughts.

For some reason, women in general either don't iron their clothes or iron them much less than men do. In part this is because their clothes require less ironing (bah). However, when it comes to something for which a lack of ironing is patently obvious (ie An office blouse of the same material as men's office shirts), they are not as fortunate.

***

Emergent Behaviour

"What is Emergent Behaviour?

Economies - beehives - financial markets - animal markings - team building - consciousness - locust swarms - mass hysteria - geese flocking - road networks and traffic jams - bacterial infection - town planning - evolution - the Web ... these are all examples of emergent phenomena where a collection of individuals interact without central control to produce results which are not explicitly "programmed"

Qualities of Emergent Behaviour

What can emergent systems do that other systems can’t?

1. They are robust and resilient. There is no single-point of failure, so if a single unit fails, becomes lost or is stolen, the system still works.
2. They are well-suited to the messy real world. Human-engineered systems may be “optimal” but often require a lot of effort to design and are fragile in the face of changing conditions. Importantly, they don’t need to have complete knowledge/understanding to achieve a goal (e.g. social systems in warehousing).
3. They find a reasonable solution quickly and then optimise. In the real world, time matters - decisions need to be taken while they are still relevant. Traditional computer algorithms tend to not produce a useful result until they are complete (which may be too late, e.g. if you're trying to avoid an oncoming obstacle) .

How it works

The individuals interact with each other directly or indirectly (via their environment). Interacting via an effect on, and response to, their common environment is called stigmergy. For example, termites work together to build termite mounds without any "queen" to co-ordinate activity and without any pre-existing plan of what to build. They change the environment and the changed environment modifies their behaviour.

Interestingly, through emergent behaviour "selfish genes" can cause apparently social behaviour By forming into schools (using simple emergent “flocking” rules), animals like fish and zebras reduce their individual chances of predation."

I wonder what the fundies say about this (with regard, of course, to their favoured assault on objective reality).

Another interesting observation is that there are no non-religiously motivated opponents to Ev*l*t**n [Ed: I don't want to trigger Cr**t**n*st Google Ads again], and no non-religiously motivated advocates of Int*ll*g*nt D*s*gn

Perhaps we should fund research on Int*ll*g*nt D*s*gn to find out more about the nature and character of the Int*ll*g*nt D*s*gn*r (see Organisms That Look Designed - The Argument from Irreducible Grotesqueness, the imperfection of organisms' biology and such, which all point to a sadistic, lazy, imperfect and not-so-intelligent designer)


Meanwhile, the fact that behavior can be coded for in genetic material (animals which never meet their parents all behave in a certain way, for example) should counter the constant declarations of intellectual heresy by the Politically Correct brigade.

Ditto for studies (Kanner 1943, Ehlers and Gillberg 1993) showing that boys are 3-4 times more likely to develop autism than girls, and 15 times as likely to develop high-functioning autism (aka Asperger syndrome) (Wing 1981). Since autism and Asperger's involve a propensity to systemise, it does not seem unreasonable to suggest that males do better in the maths and sciences, which require strong systemising tendencies.

But then, just like fundies, they never did listen to reason. After all, their reasoning seems to go like so: "Nature and nurture are both involved in shaping human behavior. Since it is very hard to separate the effects of the two, we shall not even bother to try and can then magically ascribe EVERYTHING to nurture, lynching anyone who suggests that nature might in the least be involved."

***

New item on Anti-Halal Manifesto:

"Any printed or published materials, posters and advertisements that may offend the Muslim public are not allowed. Successful applicants are required to obtain Muis’ prior clearance for any advertisements in any form of mass media."
I hardly see how and why advertisements affect the ritual purity of the food.

7. Common ancestry of Pigs and other mammals, including humans

Pigs belong to the family Suidae and are related to peccaries and hippopotamuses. Are these then haram as well?

More broadly, all mammals are descended from a common ancestor. If pigs are impure and haram, what does this mean for chickens, cows, sheep and indeed humans?


In other halal related news, the last time I was at Long John Silver's Tiong Bahru branch, I saw a few images of the Chinese God of Fortune pasted on the wall above the cashier.

This means that they have violated the requirements for Halal Certification, since, according to the Application for Halal Certification (Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura), "figures of deities, if any, in the applicants' premises should be hidden from the public's view". Gasp. Shock. Horror.

I wonder if there's a hotline I can call to report breaches in Halal protocol.

***

Someone on her officer boyfriend: "i accompanied him to his General's home for a gathering and his Colonels, Generals and all were there. And they all seemed totally unsoldierly.. like they were employees of General Electric. they're all.. old and speak perfect English..and they sound like... *groan executives"

Thus is the reality of the SAF revealed.


AcidFlask on National Slavery:

"in fact, singapore is one of the few countries that mandates conscription of its citizens, yet provides absolutely no form of "alternative service" to conscientious objectors. that to me is the weak link in defending the standpoint that ns is not part of some giant social engineering mechanism."

Indeed, The Powers That Be claim that conscientious objection to National Slavery cannot be allowed since everyone would choose it, but funnily, that’s not what we see in countries which allow conscientious objection

***

Asked of Steven Pinker:

"Q: Your long curly hair has been compared to such 1970s rock stars as Peter Frampton, Roger Daltrey and Robert Plant, but you might look more like the 17th century philosopher Spinoza. Whom do you think you look like?

A: Then there's T. Rex singer Marc Bolan, jazz guitarist Pat Metheny, and most often, conductor Simon Rattle. I, personally, would have to answer Bruno, the piano player in the TV show "Fame.""

***

Singapore's GIC secrets: Inching toward transparency - "Step aside, Sage of Omaha. You've got big-time competition in Singapore. Not even the legendary Warren Buffett has made the calls claimed by Singapore's Government Investment Corp. Indeed, the state- owned fund seems to have anticipated every major event of the past 20 years, including the 1987 stock market crash, the Gulf War oil shock of 1990, and the Asian financial crisis of 1997-98. The fund's managers even claim to have gotten in early on Cisco Systems' amazing rise. That's quite a record. Problem is, unlike shareholders in Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway, Singaporeans can't verify the GIC's boasts. Its portfolio, said to be worth more than $100 billion, is a state secret."

Mighty Dwarfing Super Ninjas - "Dug out of the video archives, a parody of a famous kids T.V. show. Its old and cheesy."
On a previous page, it's called as 'Mighty Dwarfin Super Ninjas'. Hmm.

Plush Microbes - So cute! Now you can sleep at night cuddling flesh eating bacteria to your bosom. I like Ebola, it's so worm like.

***

I was discussing with Screwed Up Girl why guys' hair is generally lousier than girls' hair (drier, more tangly, less shiny etc). Some possible reasons:

- guys don't use conditioner
- guys use [often a lot of] hair wax, gel and putty to style their hair, and this dries and damages it, since their aim is to make thier hair hard, stiff and spiky. OTOH females use expensive hair products (like my idol Wo-hen Nankan) which go in the other direction and aim to make hair soft, smooth and easy to style
- 'guys eat a lot of junk' (she claims that just as You Are What You Eat, Your Hair Is What You Eat, but I disagree)

I asked a classmate and she claimed that she didn't use conditioner, and that girls had nicer hair "because we wash our hair and comb our hair" (like guys don't!).

***

An anonymous contributor nominates the following for the "NUS bash names that reveals how sex-deprived NUS students are" series: NUSSU BizCom Bash 2003 Envy: Sin or Sense

The marketing's a hoot:

"Let your senses come alive with bash highlights such as:

Sizzling Hot Fashion Shows
Feast your eyes on our luscious models dressed in the trendiest clothes of the season. Guaranteed to blow your mind away!

SMS Crush Breaker Game (by SingaporeCupid)
Want to get to know that hunk or babe at the bash that night? Now you can with the SMS Crush Breaker Game proudly brought to you by SingaporeCupid! Register at the door and who knows what the night will have in store for you!

Indulge in our 'sinful' games to win other attractive prizes too!"

My No.1 fan adds: "In keeping with the theme Envy gave out goodie bags that were in red-black paper bags that were sponsored by Sins chocolates"


At one point in recent history, we had 3 bazaars going on in NUS. Wonderful. Maybe OSA should ask the ECAs to do something else to 'encourage entrepreneurial spirit'. I'm sure everyone is suffering from bazaar fatigue.

And now we are working on yet another essay for a "real reader", not a "homework assignment". Yet, normal people (ie real readers) are not interested in this sort of thing (most especially, close reading). Hell, if even I am not interested in this, I doubt normal people are.


Quotes:

It's a very clever class, because sometimes he offers it and calls it 'Simplicity', and sometimes he offers it and calls it 'Complexity'.

The probability that sears will exceed 1000 (sales)

Fortunately, what is shown in your textbook is the whole area under the sun (curve)

Jeero poin nine (Zero point)

[On the projector] 'No signal'. That means no class. Very good.

If you want to know what topics are available, you can go to IVLE *clicks link in Powerpoint slide and keeps getting 'A security problem has occured'* If we can overcome the horrible security problem that we seems to be having this afternoon (seem)

Any more questions regarding the essay? [Student: How many percent {of our final grade} is it?] Ask me something more interesting.

[On a 5 page final essay] 25%. Each page 5% [of your final grade]

[On promulgating discussion of the peppered moth on the online forum] It's another desperate attempt to get IVLE acting and booming.

[On Richard Dawkins on Natural Selection] We'll listen to him again. [Student: In English.] That was in English. He's an Oxford Scholar.

If you reproduce you automatically make replication arrows (errors)

Sell'mern used to be very expensive (salmon)

How would you catch bigger fish? [Student: Use bigger bait]

[On stalk-eyed flies] The girls like it when the guys have very long eyestalks.

[On a photo of a chihuahua and wolves morphing into dogs] Obviously the stone age people were not interested in this sort of thing.

I used to have a link to my lovely pigeon website. They replaced it with one only slightly less bizzare. Pigeon breeders - I will never understand them. They're so bizarre... [Student: Like the botanists?] Botanists are just weird. Pigeon breeders...

[On pigeon breeding] You can breed them for any bizarre fantasy you may have

[On the German Beauty Homer] One of them was called 'beautiful', but I didn't see anything beautiful about it

These people are really weird. You can kind of figure out by looking at them... Owners have hair like their pigeons.

If you think that pigeons are weird you should look at the goldfish.

Dog owners at dog kernels (kennels)

Some of the traits which they sim to prefer (seem)

[On the curve of the normal distribution] I know curves are usually not very popular at USP

[Student on defining 'survival of the fittest': If we take what we learn from the class {presumably as opposed to what actually happens}...] Think of all the nonsense you learn here, then.

Survival of the Foetus (fittest)

[On a NUS Shuttle Bus] No eating and drinking within bus premises (interior)

I can't go back to PGP. I'll get wet. [Me: You don't have an umbrella] I bet you do. You're the only guy who carries an umbrella around.

Arts is so different from Engin. There're colours [on the wall], there're plants growing. In Engin, there're no plants. The only plant we saw was on the ceiling - a creeper.

[On the Writing Module] This is graduate school level stuff.

Old absolute hammers (obsolete)

'He absorbs rap and hiphop naturally as if by Osmosis'. Who's the biologist in this room? No one? Ok, then we'll let Gabriel explain it. *I sputter*

*My handphone SMS ring tone of Krusty the Klown's laugh sounds* For a moment, I thought the teddy bear was talking to me.

[On rapidly flashing answers on Powerpoint] Please scream if you want to ask questions.

Let's have the toe'sers (toasts)

Spirited Away is: I take drugs, I go into a haunted house. [Correction,] I take much drugs - sorry.

I think if I have a wife who's bi[sexual], that would be so sexy... Watch them make out. Cigarette and cigar in each hand.

Depending on what sort of woman you want. [Someone: The non-possessive sort.] Are you sure that's a woman?

[On living opposite Nee Soon Camp] I live up north. They have really bad air pollution.

The problem is your blog is too intelligent. You should dumb it down, then you can advertise T-shirts and jeans.

I don't wear female footwear. I've decided that when I get married I'll wear boots.
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